0:00:14.360,0:00:17.216
What does a working mother look like?

0:00:17.240,0:00:20.496
If you ask the Internet,[br]this is what you'll be told.

0:00:20.520,0:00:24.950
Never mind that this is[br]what you'll actually produce

0:00:24.970,0:00:27.856
if you attempt to work at a computer[br]with a baby on your lap.

0:00:27.880,0:00:29.416
(Laughter)

0:00:29.440,0:00:32.336
But no, this is a working mother.

0:00:32.360,0:00:35.536
You'll notice a theme in these photos.[br]We'll look at a lot of them.

0:00:35.560,0:00:37.976
That theme is amazing natural lighting,

0:00:38.000,0:00:41.136
which, as we all know,

0:00:41.160,0:00:44.720
is the hallmark[br]of every American workplace.

0:00:45.360,0:00:48.816
There are thousands of images like these.

0:00:48.840,0:00:52.256
Just put the term "working mother"[br]into any Google image search engine,

0:00:52.280,0:00:53.536
stock photo site.

0:00:53.560,0:00:55.016
They're all over the Internet,

0:00:55.040,0:00:57.416
they're topping[br]blog posts and news pieces,

0:00:57.440,0:01:01.776
and I've become kind of obsessed with them[br]and the lie that they tell us

0:01:01.800,0:01:03.776
and the comfort that they give us,

0:01:03.800,0:01:07.216
that when it comes[br]to new working motherhood in America,

0:01:07.240,0:01:09.016
everything's fine.

0:01:09.040,0:01:10.616
But it's not fine.

0:01:10.640,0:01:14.056
As a country, we are sending[br]millions of women back to work

0:01:14.080,0:01:18.016
every year, incredibly[br]and kind of horrifically soon

0:01:18.040,0:01:19.696
after they give birth.

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That's a moral problem

0:01:21.440,0:01:25.336
but today I'm also going to tell you[br]why it's an economic problem.

0:01:25.360,0:01:28.976
I got so annoyed and obsessed[br]with the unreality of these images,

0:01:29.000,0:01:31.016
which look nothing like my life,

0:01:31.040,0:01:36.216
that I recently decided to shoot and star[br]in a parody series of stock photos

0:01:36.240,0:01:38.376
that I hoped the world would start to use

0:01:38.400,0:01:42.656
just showing the really awkward reality[br]of going back to work

0:01:42.680,0:01:46.240
when your baby's food source[br]is attached to your body.

0:01:47.320,0:01:49.696
I'm just going to show you two of them.

0:01:49.720,0:01:51.776
(Laughter)

0:01:51.800,0:01:54.896
Nothing says "Give that girl a promotion"[br]like leaking breast milk

0:01:54.920,0:01:57.056
through your dress during a presentation.

0:01:57.080,0:01:59.496
You'll notice that there's[br]no baby in this photo,

0:01:59.520,0:02:02.136
because that's not how this works,

0:02:02.160,0:02:04.496
not for most working mothers.

0:02:04.520,0:02:06.576
Did you know, and this will ruin your day,

0:02:06.600,0:02:09.776
that every time a toilet is flushed,[br]its contents are aerosolized

0:02:09.800,0:02:12.216
and they'll stay airborne for hours?

0:02:12.240,0:02:14.976
And yet, for many new working mothers,

0:02:15.000,0:02:18.256
this is the only place during the day[br]that they can find to make food

0:02:18.280,0:02:19.600
for their newborn babies.

0:02:20.880,0:02:24.336
I put these things,[br]a whole dozen of them, into the world.

0:02:24.360,0:02:25.976
I wanted to make a point.

0:02:26.000,0:02:29.416
I didn't know what I was also doing[br]was opening a door,

0:02:29.440,0:02:32.976
because now, total strangers[br]from all walks of life

0:02:33.000,0:02:34.936
write to me all the time

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just to tell me what it's like[br]for them to go back to work

0:02:38.840,0:02:41.856
within days or weeks of having a baby.

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I'm going to share[br]10 of their stories with you today.

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They are totally real,[br]some of them are very raw,

0:02:47.880,0:02:50.920
and not one of them[br]looks anything like this.

0:02:52.360,0:02:54.136
Here's the first.

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"I was an active duty[br]service member at a federal prison.

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I returned to work after the maximum[br]allowed eight weeks for my C-section.

0:03:02.280,0:03:06.336
A male coworker was annoyed[br]that I had been out on 'vacation,'

0:03:06.360,0:03:09.789
so he intentionally opened the door on me[br]while I was pumping breast milk

0:03:09.813,0:03:13.856
and stood in the doorway[br]with inmates in the hallway."

0:03:13.880,0:03:17.176
Most of the stories that these women,[br]total strangers, send to me now,

0:03:17.200,0:03:19.456
are not actually even about breastfeeding.

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A woman wrote to me to say,

0:03:21.400,0:03:26.176
"I gave birth to twins and went back[br]to work after seven unpaid weeks.

0:03:26.200,0:03:27.856
Emotionally, I was a wreck.

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Physically, I had a severe hemorrhage[br]during labor, and major tearing,

0:03:32.240,0:03:34.976
so I could barely get up, sit or walk.

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My employer told me I wasn't allowed[br]to use my available vacation days

0:03:38.880,0:03:40.640
because it was budget season."

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I've come to believe that we can't look[br]situations like these in the eye

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because then we'd be horrified,

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and if we get horrified[br]then we have to do something about it.

0:03:51.360,0:03:55.216
So we choose to look at,[br]and believe, this image.

0:03:55.240,0:03:57.696
I don't really know[br]what's going on in this picture,

0:03:57.720,0:04:00.376
because I find it weird[br]and slightly creepy.

0:04:00.400,0:04:01.816
(Laughter)

0:04:01.840,0:04:03.056
Like, what is she doing?

0:04:03.080,0:04:06.802
But I know what it tells us.

0:04:07.120,0:04:09.656
It tells us that everything's fine.

0:04:09.680,0:04:13.416
This working mother, all working mothers[br]and all of their babies, are fine.

0:04:13.440,0:04:15.416
There's nothing to see here.

0:04:15.440,0:04:18.856
And anyway, women have made a choice,

0:04:18.880,0:04:21.176
so none of it's even our problem.

0:04:21.200,0:04:24.136
I want to break this choice thing[br]down into two parts.

0:04:24.160,0:04:27.776
The first choice says[br]that women have chosen to work.

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So, that's not true.

0:04:30.040,0:04:35.255
Today in America, women make up[br]47 percent of the workforce,

0:04:35.279,0:04:37.256
and in 40 percent of American households

0:04:37.280,0:04:40.816
a woman is the sole[br]or primary breadwinner.

0:04:40.840,0:04:45.376
Our paid work is a part, a huge part,[br]of the engine of this economy,

0:04:45.400,0:04:48.176
and it is essential[br]for the engines of our families.

0:04:48.200,0:04:52.376
On a national level,[br]our paid work is not optional.

0:04:52.400,0:04:55.336
Choice number two says that women[br]are choosing to have babies,

0:04:55.360,0:04:58.480
so women alone should bear[br]the consequences of those choices.

0:05:00.200,0:05:01.976
You know, that's one of those things

0:05:02.000,0:05:04.456
that when you hear it in passing,[br]can sound correct.

0:05:04.480,0:05:05.909
I didn't make you have a baby.

0:05:05.933,0:05:08.016
I certainly wasn't there[br]when that happened.

0:05:09.478,0:05:14.056
But that stance[br]ignores a fundamental truth,

0:05:14.080,0:05:18.976
which is that our procreation[br]on a national scale is not optional.

0:05:19.000,0:05:23.496
The babies that women, many of them[br]working women, are having today,

0:05:23.520,0:05:26.736
will one day fill our workforce,[br]protect our shores,

0:05:26.760,0:05:28.576
make up our tax base.

0:05:28.600,0:05:32.776
Our procreation[br]on a national scale is not optional.

0:05:32.800,0:05:34.176
These aren't choices.

0:05:34.200,0:05:38.016
We need women to work.[br]We need working women to have babies.

0:05:38.040,0:05:40.517
So we should make[br]doing those things at the same time

0:05:40.541,0:05:41.941
at least palatable, right?

0:05:42.960,0:05:45.656
OK, this is pop quiz time:

0:05:45.680,0:05:48.616
what percentage of working[br]women in America do you think

0:05:48.640,0:05:52.160
have no access to paid maternity leave?

0:05:53.440,0:05:54.640
88 percent.

0:05:55.873,0:05:59.016
88 percent of working mothers[br]will not get one minute of paid leave

0:05:59.040,0:06:00.656
after they have a baby.

0:06:00.680,0:06:04.296
So now you're thinking about unpaid leave.

0:06:04.320,0:06:07.896
It exists in America.[br]It's called FMLA. It does not work.

0:06:07.920,0:06:10.896
Because of the way it's structured,[br]all kinds of exceptions,

0:06:10.920,0:06:14.936
half of new mothers are ineligible for it.

0:06:14.960,0:06:16.294
Here's what that looks like.

0:06:18.320,0:06:20.136
"We adopted our son.

0:06:20.160,0:06:24.376
When I got the call, the day he was born,[br]I had to take off work.

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I had not been there long enough[br]to qualify for FMLA,

0:06:27.560,0:06:30.296
so I wasn't eligible for unpaid leave.

0:06:30.320,0:06:32.736
When I took time off[br]to meet my newborn son,

0:06:32.760,0:06:33.960
I lost my job."

0:06:35.840,0:06:40.736
These corporate stock photos[br]hide another reality, another layer.

0:06:40.760,0:06:44.376
Of those who do have access[br]to just that unpaid leave,

0:06:44.400,0:06:47.576
most women can't afford[br]to take much of it at all.

0:06:47.600,0:06:51.096
A nurse told me, "I didn't qualify[br]for short-term disability

0:06:51.120,0:06:55.176
because my pregnancy[br]was considered a preexisting condition.

0:06:55.200,0:06:57.867
We used up all of our tax returns[br]and half of our savings

0:06:57.891,0:06:59.736
during my six unpaid weeks.

0:06:59.760,0:07:01.496
We just couldn't manage any longer.

0:07:01.520,0:07:04.056
Physically it was hard,[br]but emotionally it was worse.

0:07:04.080,0:07:07.056
I struggled for months[br]being away from my son."

0:07:07.080,0:07:09.976
So this decision[br]to go back to work so early,

0:07:10.000,0:07:14.176
it's a rational economic decision[br]driven by family finances,

0:07:14.200,0:07:16.456
but it's often physically horrific

0:07:16.480,0:07:20.016
because putting a human[br]into the world is messy.

0:07:20.040,0:07:21.456
A waitress told me,

0:07:21.480,0:07:25.016
"With my first baby, I was back at work[br]five weeks postpartum.

0:07:25.040,0:07:28.096
With my second, I had to have[br]major surgery after giving birth,

0:07:28.120,0:07:31.136
so I waited until six weeks to go back.

0:07:31.160,0:07:33.240
I had third degree tears."

0:07:34.880,0:07:37.936
23 percent of new[br]working mothers in America

0:07:37.960,0:07:42.560
will be back on the job[br]within two weeks of giving birth.

0:07:44.320,0:07:48.976
"I worked as a bartender and cook,[br]average of 75 hours a week while pregnant.

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I had to return to work[br]before my baby was a month old,

0:07:51.640,0:07:53.656
working 60 hours a week.

0:07:53.680,0:07:58.736
One of my coworkers was only able[br]to afford 10 days off with her baby."

0:07:58.760,0:08:02.936
Of course, this isn't just a scenario[br]with economic and physical implications.

0:08:02.960,0:08:08.136
Childbirth is, and always will be,[br]an enormous psychological event.

0:08:08.160,0:08:10.256
A teacher told me,

0:08:10.280,0:08:13.256
"I returned to work[br]eight weeks after my son was born.

0:08:13.280,0:08:15.176
I already suffer from anxiety,

0:08:15.200,0:08:20.296
but the panic attacks I had prior[br]to returning to work were unbearable."

0:08:20.320,0:08:22.416
Statistically speaking,

0:08:22.440,0:08:25.136
the shorter a woman's leave[br]after having a baby,

0:08:25.160,0:08:28.376
the more likely she will be to suffer[br]from postpartum mood disorders

0:08:28.400,0:08:30.496
like depression and anxiety,

0:08:30.520,0:08:34.535
and among many potential[br]consequences of those disorders,

0:08:34.559,0:08:37.696
suicide is the second[br]most common cause of death

0:08:37.720,0:08:39.600
in a woman's first year postpartum.

0:08:41.240,0:08:42.816
Heads up that this next story --

0:08:42.840,0:08:47.416
I've never met this woman,[br]but I find it hard to get through.

0:08:47.440,0:08:51.616
"I feel tremendous grief and rage[br]that I lost an essential,

0:08:51.640,0:08:55.496
irreplaceable and formative[br]time with my son.

0:08:55.520,0:08:58.936
Labor and delivery[br]left me feeling absolutely broken.

0:08:58.960,0:09:03.616
For months, all I remember[br]is the screaming: colic, they said.

0:09:03.640,0:09:05.776
On the inside, I was drowning.

0:09:05.800,0:09:09.496
Every morning, I asked myself[br]how much longer I could do it.

0:09:09.520,0:09:12.696
I was allowed to bring my baby to work.

0:09:12.720,0:09:15.856
I closed my office door[br]while I rocked and shushed

0:09:15.880,0:09:19.376
and begged him to stop screaming[br]so I wouldn't get in trouble.

0:09:19.400,0:09:21.456
I hid behind that office door[br]every damn day

0:09:21.480,0:09:23.416
and cried while he screamed.

0:09:23.440,0:09:27.096
I cried in the bathroom[br]while I washed out the pump equipment.

0:09:27.120,0:09:30.256
Every day, I cried all the way to work[br]and all the way home again.

0:09:30.280,0:09:33.416
I promised my boss that the work[br]I didn't get done during the day,

0:09:33.440,0:09:35.096
I'd make up at night from home.

0:09:35.120,0:09:38.920
I thought, there's just something[br]wrong with me that I can't swing this."

0:09:40.520,0:09:43.136
So those are the mothers.

0:09:43.160,0:09:44.936
What of the babies?

0:09:44.960,0:09:47.456
As a country, do we care[br]about the millions of babies

0:09:47.480,0:09:49.336
born every year to working mothers?

0:09:49.360,0:09:50.696
I say we don't,

0:09:50.720,0:09:54.176
not until they're of working[br]and tax-paying and military-serving age.

0:09:54.200,0:09:56.105
We tell them we'll see them in 18 years,

0:09:56.129,0:09:57.891
and getting there is kind of on them.

0:09:59.854,0:10:02.616
One of the reasons I know this[br]is that babies whose mothers

0:10:02.640,0:10:04.936
have 12 or more weeks at home with them

0:10:04.960,0:10:08.936
are more likely to get their vaccinations[br]and their well checks in their first year,

0:10:08.960,0:10:13.656
so those babies are more protected[br]from deadly and disabling diseases.

0:10:13.680,0:10:16.920
But those things are hidden[br]behind images like this.

0:10:20.280,0:10:25.776
America has a message for new mothers[br]who work and for their babies.

0:10:25.800,0:10:29.576
Whatever time you get together,[br]you should be grateful for it,

0:10:29.600,0:10:32.336
and you're an inconvenience

0:10:32.360,0:10:35.376
to the economy and to your employers.

0:10:35.400,0:10:39.936
That narrative of gratitude[br]runs through a lot of the stories I hear.

0:10:39.960,0:10:41.616
A woman told me,

0:10:41.640,0:10:43.816
"I went back at eight weeks[br]after my C-section

0:10:43.840,0:10:45.656
because my husband was out of work.

0:10:45.680,0:10:48.416
Without me, my daughter[br]had failure to thrive.

0:10:48.440,0:10:49.736
She wouldn't take a bottle.

0:10:49.760,0:10:51.376
She started losing weight.

0:10:51.400,0:10:54.216
Thankfully, my manager[br]was very understanding.

0:10:54.240,0:10:55.776
He let my mom bring my baby,

0:10:55.800,0:10:58.096
who was on oxygen and a monitor,

0:10:58.120,0:11:00.240
four times a shift so I could nurse her."

0:11:01.960,0:11:05.336
There's a little club[br]of countries in the world

0:11:05.360,0:11:09.216
that offer no national[br]paid leave to new mothers.

0:11:09.240,0:11:11.696
Care to guess who they are?

0:11:11.720,0:11:15.656
The first eight make up eight million[br]in total population.

0:11:15.680,0:11:19.176
They are Papua New Guinea,[br]Suriname and the tiny island nations

0:11:19.200,0:11:25.416
of Micronesia, Marshall Islands,[br]Nauru, Niue, Palau and Tonga.

0:11:25.440,0:11:27.816
Number nine is the United[br]States of America,

0:11:27.840,0:11:29.920
with 320 million people.

0:11:31.320,0:11:33.656
Oh, that's it.

0:11:33.680,0:11:36.256
That's the end of the list.

0:11:36.280,0:11:37.896
Every other economy on the planet

0:11:37.920,0:11:41.816
has found a way to make some level[br]of national paid leave work

0:11:41.840,0:11:44.816
for the people doing the work[br]of the future of those countries,

0:11:44.840,0:11:48.896
but we say,[br]"We couldn't possibly do that."

0:11:48.920,0:11:51.416
We say that the market[br]will solve this problem,

0:11:51.440,0:11:55.776
and then we cheer when corporations[br]offer even more paid leave to the women

0:11:55.800,0:11:59.056
who are already the highest-educated[br]and highest-paid among us.

0:11:59.080,0:12:00.896
Remember that 88 percent?

0:12:00.920,0:12:04.760
Those middle- and low-income women[br]are not going to participate in that.

0:12:05.880,0:12:11.336
We know that there are staggering[br]economic, financial, physical

0:12:11.360,0:12:13.896
and emotional costs to this approach.

0:12:13.920,0:12:17.936
We have decided --[br]decided, not an accident,

0:12:17.960,0:12:21.896
to pass these costs directly[br]on to working mothers and their babies.

0:12:21.920,0:12:24.576
We know the price tag is higher[br]for low-income women,

0:12:24.600,0:12:27.376
therefore disproportionately[br]for women of color.

0:12:27.400,0:12:29.856
We pass them on anyway.

0:12:29.880,0:12:32.496
All of this is to America's shame.

0:12:32.520,0:12:35.360
But it's also to America's risk.

0:12:36.440,0:12:38.336
Because what would happen

0:12:38.360,0:12:42.416
if all of these individual[br]so-called choices to have babies

0:12:42.440,0:12:46.440
started to turn into individual choices[br]not to have babies.

0:12:47.320,0:12:49.016
One woman told me,

0:12:49.040,0:12:52.296
"New motherhood is hard.[br]It shouldn't be traumatic.

0:12:52.320,0:12:54.576
When we talk about expanding[br]our family now,

0:12:54.600,0:12:58.896
we focus on how much time I would have[br]to care for myself and a new baby.

0:12:58.920,0:13:02.216
If we were to have to do it again[br]the same way as with our first,

0:13:02.240,0:13:03.880
we might stick with one kid."

0:13:05.800,0:13:08.696
The birthrate needed in America[br]to keep the population stable

0:13:08.720,0:13:10.856
is 2.1 live births per woman.

0:13:10.880,0:13:13.848
In America today, we are at 1.86.

0:13:14.880,0:13:17.176
We need women to have babies,

0:13:17.200,0:13:21.736
and we are actively disincentivizing[br]working women from doing that.

0:13:21.760,0:13:24.976
What would happen to work force,[br]to innovation, to GDP,

0:13:25.000,0:13:29.136
if one by one, the working mothers[br]of this country were to decide

0:13:29.160,0:13:32.520
that they can't bear[br]to do this thing more than once?

0:13:33.680,0:13:37.176
I'm here today with only[br]one idea worth spreading,

0:13:37.200,0:13:39.336
and you've guessed what it is.

0:13:39.360,0:13:43.056
It is long since time[br]for the most powerful country on Earth

0:13:43.080,0:13:45.136
to offer national paid leave

0:13:45.160,0:13:47.875
to the people doing the work[br]of the future of this country

0:13:47.899,0:13:50.776
and to the babies[br]who represent that future.

0:13:50.800,0:13:52.936
Childbirth is a public good.

0:13:52.960,0:13:55.496
This leave should be state-subsidized.

0:13:55.520,0:13:58.016
It should have no exceptions[br]for small businesses,

0:13:58.040,0:14:00.496
length of employment or entrepreneurs.

0:14:00.520,0:14:02.896
It should be able[br]to be shared between partners.

0:14:02.920,0:14:04.896
I've talked today a lot about mothers,

0:14:04.920,0:14:07.600
but co-parents matter on so many levels.

0:14:09.520,0:14:12.616
Not one more woman[br]should have to go back to work

0:14:12.640,0:14:15.816
while she is hobbling and bleeding.

0:14:15.840,0:14:19.496
Not one more family should have[br]to drain their savings account

0:14:19.520,0:14:23.176
to buy a few days[br]of rest and recovery and bonding.

0:14:23.200,0:14:25.496
Not one more fragile infant

0:14:25.520,0:14:28.456
should have to go directly[br]from the incubator to day care

0:14:28.480,0:14:31.176
because his parents have used up[br]all of their meager time

0:14:31.200,0:14:32.816
sitting in the NICU.

0:14:32.840,0:14:35.698
Not one more working family[br]should be told that the collision

0:14:35.722,0:14:40.056
of their work, their needed work[br]and their needed parenthood,

0:14:40.080,0:14:41.560
is their problem alone.

0:14:42.760,0:14:47.416
The catch is that when this is happening[br]to a new family, it is consuming,

0:14:47.440,0:14:50.216
and a family with a new baby[br]is more financially vulnerable

0:14:50.240,0:14:51.696
than they've ever been before,

0:14:51.720,0:14:55.656
so that new mother cannot afford[br]to speak up on her own behalf.

0:14:55.680,0:14:57.896
But all of us have voices.

0:14:57.920,0:15:01.496
I am done, done having babies,

0:15:01.520,0:15:03.376
and you might be pre-baby,

0:15:03.400,0:15:04.776
you might be post-baby,

0:15:04.800,0:15:06.416
you might be no baby.

0:15:06.440,0:15:08.296
It should not matter.

0:15:08.320,0:15:10.736
We have to stop framing this[br]as a mother's issue,

0:15:10.760,0:15:12.456
or even a women's issue.

0:15:12.480,0:15:14.040
This is an American issue.

0:15:16.200,0:15:19.696
We need to stop buying the lie[br]that these images tell us.

0:15:19.720,0:15:21.976
We need to stop being comforted by them.

0:15:22.000,0:15:24.656
We need to question[br]why we're told that this can't work

0:15:24.680,0:15:27.976
when we see it work[br]everywhere all over the world.

0:15:28.000,0:15:31.776
We need to recognize[br]that this American reality

0:15:31.800,0:15:34.834
is to our dishonor and to our peril.

0:15:35.440,0:15:37.616
Because this is not,

0:15:37.640,0:15:39.256
this is not,

0:15:39.280,0:15:42.760
and this is not[br]what a working mother looks like.

0:15:44.200,0:15:45.920
(Applause)