How does Thay calm down someone in rage?

Thay answers questions on 21 June 2014. Question 8

(Half bell)

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Dear Thay,

It seems this week we are practicing
on aspects of taking care of anger.

This is a teenager who asks:

Dear Thay, have you ever
been able to calm down

and to help a person who is completely
enraged and exploding in anger.

Thay has been able to deal
successfully with a number of people

who get angry at Thay

out of jealousy and wrong perceptions.

And sometimes it takes a lot of time

for a person to calm down and
to transform.

Uh...

These people exist also in the clergy

and in...ordinary society.

And Thay's way is very simple:

Do not to respond to attack or to insult.

Never reply to insult or attack,

don't even try explain.

A complete silence.

He did not try to justify himself

or do anything

because doing so may cause

the other person to get angrier and so on.

So breathe in and out and accept

and do not reply... do not react.

And then Thay can do even better

because a few days later or
a few months later

he can write a love letter
to him or to her.

He has done that several times.

Someone betrayed you,

has caused you to suffer a lot

and caused your community to suffer a lot.

And yet you are able to write

a nice letter to him, to her,

to help him or her to suffer less

Sometimes it takes time for

that person to suffer less and

to...stop being angry,

but it always has effect.

You know that in Vietnam we had

a very beautiful community,

a practice centre called 'Prajna'.

There were about 400 young monastics

living there and practicing.

And they generated a lot of energy

of harmony and brotherhood and...

and peace.

And so many young lay people came

and practiced with us.

It is up in the mountain area.

And yet there were times when

five thousand young people
came and participated

in a retreat of 5 or 6 days

and get transformation.

It was quite a movement.

People were very enthusiastic.

But in a country like Vietnam

that does not look safe for...

those who rule the country.

They are afraid of something
that is too strong.

They are afraid that
they cannot control it.

So there was an attempt to dismantle

the practice centre.

And our young monks and nuns

tried to resist with compassion,

nonviolence for more than
one year and a half.

And finally we could no longer resist

because they sent violent people to

our centres.

They destroy, they burn, they attack.

They cut the electricity.

They cut the water.

They shout.

They insult.

They organised hundreds of people

to come and insult us

and to break and to destroy.

And finally we had to...
evacuate the place

and went to a temple

in the area to take refuge.

But they still continue to press

until we have to leave that place.

Many of these young monks and nuns

are taking refuge in Thailand,

Germany, France, America.

And we were able to identify those who...

who...

who tried to destroy the place.

Thay has sent words to them

that we don't hate them

because they...they may have been

victims of wrong perceptions

that can give rise to fear

and anger.

And...disciples of Thay in Vietnam

have sent books of Thay to them
as a gift.

It is possible to respond to violence
and anger with love.

And that is the way we always...follow:

to respond

using compassion

and understanding,

to respond to violence, misunderstanding
and so on.

During the time Thay...

organised the School of Youth
for Social Service,

we trained hundreds of young people,

dedicated young people,

monastic and lay,

to go to the countryside
and organize to help victims

of the war

and poor people,

to organize in terms...
of health...education...

and economic development

and to improve the quality of life

in the countryside.

And many of us were suppressed

Many of us were killed during service.

Because during the war

we did not want to join

one of the warring parties.

We wanted to accept both sides.

We wanted reconciliation and peace

rather than to continue the war.

That is why we were victims of

suppression by both sides

And we always respond with compassion.

After they have killed a number of us

we organized a funeral ceremony.

And we declared:

We do not hate those who have killed us

because we know
they are victims of wrong...

perceptions that have given rise to

fear and suspicion.

And we hope that they will look and

understand us better.

Our intention is not harm them,

only to help the people in the country,

victims of war, orphans

and poor people.

And...in the beginning the suppression

the violence continues

but later on,

these actions of suppression began
to decrease.

There is an effect.

And that is what we have experienced

in the decade that we practiced

and served in Vietnam.

I think the book written by
Sister Chan Kong,

'Learning True Love'

told a number of stories like that.

You can read 'Learning True Love'.

And also Sister Chan Kong wrote an

an article printed in my novel,
'The Novice'.

And you can read also

the book 'the Novice'...

to know a number of things like that.

So using compassion, understanding

to meet with violence and misunderstanding

is a good practice

that...can bring result

if you are patient enough

in the practice.

And some of the people in the police

came to our retreats in Thailand and

even in Plum Village to practice.

That is a victory for both:

for us and for them.

(half bell)

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