戇豆先生教你追女仔 (中文字幕) | Rowan Atkinson Live: Elementary Dating

Good evening, and welcome to the Boston University Huntington Theater,

for this, the second part of our course,

in elementary courting, for men.

May I say how please I am with tonight's turnout,

some eight hundred people, which is very gratifying.

Tonight, we look at the first date.

Obviously, taking out a girl for the first time, is a very complex issue.

The first crucial step is, having arranged to pick up your date,

not to look like a complete idiot when she opens the door.

Best to look as though your attention has been momentarily distracted.

But when you do notice her, it is vital to say how pretty she is looking, straight away.

But don't over do it.

If at this point you are introduced to her parents,

attitude is all important.

You can be too casual...

or you can be too keen.

When you said goodbye to the parents,

again don't overdo it,

lead her to your car,

and remember to open the door.

Once in the car, there are various ways of driving.

If you drive like this...

you might lose her respect.

If you drive like this...

you should have taken a taxi.

Before long, you'll arrive at the restaurant.

Get out of the car...

and escort her to your table.

Then tuck her into her seat, yourself...

and attract the waiter's attention.

Selecting from the wine list is important,

complete ignorance is not good.

When the bottle arrives, there's much to be made in the tasting of it,

but don't be too professional.

With eating, again, moderation is the order of the day.

Don't eat too fast...

but don't eat too slowly.

Next, is recieving the bill,

this is a very important moment.

You must be sure not to lose your cool.

This is right...

...this is wrong.

The girl, may of couse offer to pay herself,

in which case you should refuse...

for a while.

Next stop, is a fashionable discotheque.

Once inside, you might look slightly strange

if you try to talk over the music.

So just stand casually, and look sexy.

This is good...this is better...this is starting to be misguided.

After stance, dance technique is most important.

Most people don't know how to dance,

and so do too much...

Other people do too little.

Some people dance as if there's something up their bottom,

and other people dance as if there's something coming out of their bottom.

When all's said and done, it's best probably to not to dance at all.

A well-mimed sporting injuring is always useful, and a good excuse for leaving the discotheque.

If you don't utterly foul it up,

20 minutes later, you should back at your place.

It's important to relax, and make your guest feel at home.

She will probably feel as nervous as you do,

and there's no need to make any extra special effort.

Then, putting on the music.

We can't help you with the choice of CD,

even though no matter what the circumstances,

Donny and Marie Osmond's greatest hits would be a mistake.

At all cost, avoid the temptation to brag about your stereo.

Now comes the moment you've been waiting for—the seduction.

This is the subject of next week's lecture.

However, as a rough guide, this is right...

...and this is, I think we all agree, disastrous.