Slunce, seno, jahody (1983) www.czfilm.eu

Slunce, seno, jahody (1983) www.czfilm.eu

For chrissake, why am I making my life so difficult?

I've a good mind to pack it in!

A crazy summer comedy

SUN, HAY, STRAWBERRIES

Story and screenplay by

Starring (title strip) Simon

Venca Blazena

Miluna The Kalis Woman

Mrs. Skopkova Mr. Skopek

Granny Jirka

Chairman Bedrich, Chief of Animal Husbandry

Secretary Evicka

Priest Cecilka

Helenka, conductor Zvonicek

Mr. Sobotka Mrs. Sobotkova

Mrs. Hubickova, Headmistress Eda, driver's mate

Jarousek, landlord Josef

Chairmars wife Planicka

Planicka's wife With

Assistant director Continuity

Assistants to Production Manager

Assistant Cameraman Assistant Art Director

Costumes Wardrobe Mistress

Properties

Production Team

Music by Lyrics

Singers Played by

Make-up Artist Sound Recordist

Art Director Film Editor

Production Manager

Director of Photography

Directed by

"Creative Youth", Script Writers & Production Group No. 6,

under the supervising of Script Editor

Produced at the Barrandov Film Studios, Holder of the February Victory

Order and the Labour Order The Barrandov Film Studios

Distribution copies made at the Barrandov Film Laboratories,

Holder of the Contribution to Construction Award

Lean over, lean over, quickly to the left,

c'mon, quickly, quickly so we dort overturn!

Lean over, keep balance, balance I say. C'mon, chop, chop!

Okay fine, we can go back to our places.

It's your first time here, isn't it? - Er... um... y... yes!

- I dort know you.

Dort worry, we haven't overturned yet.

And I've been here since March! - Excuse me, is this Hostice?

- Yes, but we're not stopping, Dort get out, we're not stopping,

we're late, we'll keep on going! We'll only get out in Volyne!

We're not stopping! We're late!

What's your business in Hostice?

Buying the mill? - The mill?

Yes, this one over there.

Even the singer Charlie Gott wanted to buy it, only it's haunted.

Sure it is! A big black dog and dead sexton.

There have already been a load of people here after it.

We're not stopping, we're running late!

- I see, but...

- So jump out!

- But...! - I'll slow down for you.

Or are scared?

- For chrissake, Helenka, stop it!

I must see a doctor, my leg's broken,

I just can't walk! - Can't do! I mean, we really are late!

- To hell with you, half-wit! I've a good mind to give up!

Wait, wait, take me along to Volyne! I must see a doctor!

My leg's broken in two places and I've bruised four ribs!

Dort worry, you'll get a tip! - Careful!

- That's not the way to jump!

Keep to the direction the bus's going in! That's it.

But she must've fancied otherwise she wouldrt have slowed down for you.

People here jump out at full speed, but then they've got the hang of it.

Are you that Sobotka who wants to see my mill?

Look at it, a beauty, eh?

I'm not asking much for it.

- But I've already bought a tent.

- So aren't you Sobotka from Prague? Hells bells!

- But the conductor said, it was haunted!

I mean the mill. - Fiddlesticks!

I've lived here for three hundred years and haven't seen a ghost yet!

St. John of Nepomuk,

St. Mary protect me! Help!

Anything happened you? Good morning. - Gee - what's this?

They let the air out of my bicycle tyre,

threw away the valves and broke up my basket!

Young man, re-direct your steps

and hasten away from this place,

where sin lurks whichever way you turn!

While there is still time!

- But I've come to work here as a part-timer. On the cooperative farm.

- What, a part-timer?

Oh Lord, so young and so courageous?

- Could you show me the way to the village?

- This way - that way.

Follow me, if you insist.

Cecily!

- Who did this to you, Father?

- Sodom and Gomorrah, Cecilka.

Go and invite the villagers to the evening session.

God bless you, young man. If there is anything

you need you know where to come.

This is a new part-timer on the farm.

Show him the way, Cecilka! - C'mon!

That's the way. - Thank you.

- If there's anything, just whistle and I'll fix it.

Good morning. - Hi.

I... I'm... I'... I've got here...

So you're a part-timer? Right?

Experimental, end-of- term paper

on the milk yield of cows

dependent on the environment.

- I've been the chief of animal husbandry for eight years

but I've never heard anything so daft!

- I've got it perfectly thought-out.

If you just let me test my method in practise,

it will bring benefits not just to your cooperative, but to everyone.

- Chairman, we can't afford any experiments,

let alone where milk's concerned! - We're expecting a delegation

from the Regional Council, that's a big things, sonny!

- Two or three cows will do! - You know something?

Go and settle down, look around the village,

try some of our cherries and come here tomorrow a sensible talk, how about it?

Evi! - Yes!

Gee, who is he? - He'll tell you all himself.

Look, go and put him up somewhere. But, Evi, mind you're good to him!

- Where can I put him up if all the beds've been taken

by those combined-harvester chaps!

- Evi, please! - Really, Chairman.

Well, I'll... Okay then! Blimey.

A pack of Clea, as usual? - No.

Look, have the people who came here on holiday last year arrived yet?

No and they're not likely to come.

Dad said he was in prison

and Mum wouldrt have her alone here for love or money.

- Tell Mum then to taken in our new young part-timer

for at least a few days, Mr... What's your...?

- Planicka. Simon Planicka. - Yes, Simon Planicka.

Go and tell her at least for a few days, I'll fix it with Mum later.

C'mon, get going!

- See you. Thanks. - See you! Bye!

- Evi, you little cunning vixen!

- Go home, Animal!

I'll give you an umbrella, Mother.

An umbrella and a baret!

Right. And mind you dort take it off!

Like last time, there'd be a show- down, see?

- Oh no! Leave me alone...!

- You know me, dort you? - Where're you off to, Molly?

- To Volyne, to have my hair done, it's like a haystack.

Hey, Dad, drive it out for me! - Just me some peace, you're...

For God's sake!

- Hey, Vlasta, want to come along?

- I'll do it myself, why bother?

- But why, the boy'll give you a lift there this afternoon, wort he?

I keep telling Blazena to spruce it up at least in front,

but no way... - Brm! Brm! Brm! Drink! Drink!

- Ad him - always the same! Swilling down beer all the time!

But they do it on purpose, when you need something

you have to beg for it like a beggar!

Leave me alone, will you! - Why should I?

I told you not to drink the beer as you'd drive me to Volyne!

And you - it's like talking to a brick wall!

- That's normal - Dad - Mum.

- Good morning. - Who is he?

- Simon, he's to stay with us, he's a part-timer.

The chairmarll explain it to you later. - Good morning.

- They wouldrt give us a loan to repair the house, no they wouldrt,

and now they're turning it into a hotel! But, Dad, you'll tell the chairman this,

you will. Blazena! - Yes!

- He'll stay with us, for the moment.

Look, take him in, give him some clean bed linen. And water the house plants!

- Sure! - Yes, sure!

Thanks a lot! - Yeah!

I wouldrt come in the car with her for love or money.

Good idea of yours to say Venca'll drive me.

- I'm surprised, she's not finished up in a ditch yet!

- I'm surprised, she's not finished up in a ditch yet!

You're terrible!

- Sure, I will! So who is he?

- Why dort you ask him?

- What's he after? - Not me, clever!

- I'd have to kill him! The moment he lays a finger on you...!

- Ah come on...

My dear little murderer! Jealous are you?

- M'm. - M'm.

Actually, he's quite all right, you know?

- M'm? - Hey, what's got into you?

- I'll fix him anyway!

Make love to me, Nicolas, make love to me.

Come.

I want you to be the first.

Someone young, handsome, fresh,

tender, try to be tender!

- Love!

My love!

- Hey, stop snoring, d'you hear me?

All right, stop snoring for chrissake! - I'm deep in thought.

- When you're deep in thought, the whole village can hear you!

Turn on your side at least! - Nagging me all the time!

- Hi.

Where's Simon, is he asleep?

- Come off it now, be quiet! Warm up the noodles with ham!

- Why are you yelling again? - Because...

- He's quite nice, isn't he?

- Yeah, he went with Jirka to pick some cherries.

What're you doing to the electricity, I'd like to know!

- Nothing, there's a power cut!

- Now, when the going was... Hm, well...

- But it's a repeat. - Look, Blazena, fetch a candle!

But I haven't seen it and you - stop snoring!

What a mess, do something, d'you hear me?

- What is it again? - What's up with you the whole time?

Look at the meter, maybe it's the fuses!

- I can't find it! - They'll turn it on again.

The whole village's like this.

- Gee, I'm scared! - The whole village's like what?

She's starting again, go and talk to her, will you?

- Why should I? If you hadrt given her beer...

- Is she your Mum? Yes, she is! - It is my mum...

I told you not to give her beer when she's sitting in the sun!

As you've given her beer while she was out in the sun,

you go on listening to her. What've I got to do with it?

Just listen to her. - Dort drip that candle on me!

- What are you on about? Well, Mum, Mum, dort be afraid!

- Oh! Oh! Oh! - Mum, I'm not a ghost,

I'm your daughter! Dort be afraid!

I'll give her an electric torch. Where's the torch, I wonder?

- Want some noodles? - Yeah.

To think there's just one candle in the whole house!

Lt'll be a hot day, Cecilka, a hot, day!

The headmaster's girl's tuning up her soprano.

Mum... - Wait a minute, I'll...

- Mum, but, Mum, dort, it'll do you good to get some fresh air.

There we are!

Let's have the feet! - Just to get rid of me, nothing more...

- C'mon, Mum, let's lie down like this. Fetch her some newspaper

to while away her time. - You always find something

to while away my time! You'd leave an old woman to drop dead!

I know, I know!

Good morning, Mrs Skopkova.

- Hells bells, bloody hell, you gave me a fright!

- Sorry, I didn't want to! - That's all right!

- Hi, Simon! - Hi!

- What'll you have? Tea or milk?

- Oh no, thank you, dort go into any expense for me,

I'll get something from the General Store!

- No way, people'd gossip that we werert hospitable.

As for expenses, leave them up to the chairman.

I'll see to it he foots the bill! C'mon, let's go!

There're streaks all over the place, blast it! It's going to look a sight!

- There's not enough time to whitewash it. You bet there isn't, chairman!

- When did you start, I'd like to know?

Going like this, you wort be ready before New Year's Eve!

- You know something, chairman? Let those folks do it

who've pinched the spraying gun

and messed up the whitewash!

Look, I can easily pack it in, no problem!

It's easy to criticize, anyone can do it!

- What'd you mean, criticize? Nitwit!

Hi, chairman! Hi, Billy! - Hi!

- Where did you get this this from? This is oversized even for our Mum.

- So take it in then! It's a womars job!

- Yes, it's a womars job! - Ouch!

Hey, keep your hands off! Private property!

- No, you can't, Josef! We've paid you a hundred and eighty!

So make sure it's finished!

- So take it and go and get some wallpaper

and the Fragrance of the Forest spray! - Oh, come off it now!

- Yeah. The dung conveyor keeps breaking down

and as for the water mains, we've been piddling with it for at least two years!

- Look, Chairman, we could dress up as angels.

- Such baggies!

- Dort you bloody start!

- Dort we look like we belong to the Red Cross?

- C'mon, girls, we must do something about it!

- I'd finish it. - But what about...

- Actually, it's part of my paper - quality of the environment and...

- Well, if you think so, here you are.

Venca'll show you where to get whitewash and other... things.

Venca, come here!

He's our plumber - a superb fellow!

He's able to fix a fridge, a car, anything you can think of!

They've written twice about him in the newspaper!

- Simon. - M'm.

- This is Venca, see?

- Wenceslas. Wenceslas for strangers!

- Sorry.

Hi. Hey, Miluna, got some cigs?

Come off it, as if you didn't know. A pack of Sparta!

- I dort know, honest, I haven't looked.

- Have a look then.

- These are my old mars. - He'll give them to you, Milikin.

- Milikin? M'm.

- Look, I'm in a hurry, they've put this millstone

of a new part-timer around my neck!

Are you listening? Stop being clever!

- But there're some at home. We can go and look.

- Yes, but... - Scared, eh?

- Scared, yeah right. - Scared of Blazena, I'd like to know!

- Come off it, me afraid of Blazena?!

- So that doesrt see you driving me to my place.

- Pooh! Why're you telling me all this crap?

- So you'll drive me to town this afternoon, right?

- I told you I was on duty. Next time.

- But you'd give a lift to Blazena if she felt like it.

Never mind, I'll ask someone else.

- I see, Venca, sonny. Broken down, eh?

- Well, something's wrong with the engine...

- There you are, it's right again. So you'll give me a lift.

No way could I manage to carry such a heavy weight!

- I'm off to the cow shed and you haven't got a crash helmet.

- So what? It's a just a little way off and you're going that way anyway!

I wouldrt be able to carry it and I've got a bad arm,

remember how I tripped once and fell in front of the store?

And I had to carry it around in a plaster cast all?

- Yes, but that's a long time ago. - Yes, it's a long time ago

but it's a still not strong enough.

- Hi, I'll just drive Auntie and the beer home...

- Oh no, I'll manage.

I had no idea you were waiting here for Miluska.

- Stay where you are! - Isn't that so?

- You said you were still not strong enough. Hold tight!

- Thank you, Venca, sonny. And sorry for troubling you.

- That's all right. - Miluska's a very nice girl.

And I thought that you and Blazena...

Well, I must be confused.

- Yeah. I guess so, Aunt.

- I guess so... just you wait! You stud! Just you wait!

But really, sir, oh no, seriously,

the invoice doesrt really belong to us! - Humpty dumpty!

- Chairman, he's kissed me again!

Chair... sir, it is from somewhere else, someone's jammed the line.

I'm sorry, Ev, but try to see my position -

the harvest's the main worry and I can't cope with everything on my own.

- So what? As far as we are concerned,

the delegation is welcome to come any time. Ain't I right, Ev?

- I've heard Josef's packed the whitewashing in.

- As if you didn't know him! The new one'll finish it off.

True, he's nuts... Ev!

...but at least he wort do any harm with a brush in his hand.

Look, Ev... Look, secretary, we've seen worse.

- What did you say was the name of the new chap?

- Simon. Simon Planicka.

Just like the famous goalkeeper.

- I see! I thought the name rang a bell!

- Noon! Knocking off!

- Coming!

- Chairman, tell him to lay off!

Take him along, take him to the cow shed!

She asked him if he would give her a lift to town

and he said: No - some other time.

But even then he was stripping her with his eyes.

She was not wearing much to strip anyway!

I'm sure they've patched it up again.

Now she'll be jumping into the sack with them both.

Upon my soul, Father,

I've got a hang for such things. - But Mrs. Kalis...

- You know me, dort you?

Hold it properly, or I'll box your ear! - I'll puke!

- As long as you dort shit into your pants...!

- Rabbit again! We have a rabbit every day,

even Spot doesrt want it anymore, isn't it so, Spot?

Arert you fed up witch rabbits, eh?

- Dort Spot me, or you'll see! And pick it up, for chrissake!

Such a nice rabbit, kids in Africa would be over the moon,

just you watch TV, they show it all the time, how starved they are!

But you're so debauched nothing's good enough for you.

- I'll hold it for you, Mrs Skopkova, I dort mind.

- Let him, it wort do him any harm!

- I'll remember that, mate!

- No horsing around! Go home and do your homework! And you- hold is properly!

Tell me, then, what are you, what's your job, who are your parents?

- Does someone have a cow in the village?

- A cow?

You're very kind, Father! - Dort mention it.

- They all tell me it's nonsense...

- Well, everything's is our Lord's will, son,

this is... Daisy's at your disposal,

do what you think fit!

Cecilka, we're handing Daisy over into the service of the scientific and

technological revolution!

- Let's say, borrowing, Father!

- Dort worry. Will you let me?

Miss Cecilka, please!

What she had, she's given.

It's magic, this is magic!

- A miracle! Miracle!

A miracle's happened!

- A miracle, folks, where are you? A miracle's happened, a miracle indeed!

Sandokan, Sandokan... - He's a creep!

I didn't like him right from the start!

- What will people from the Council say? Did it have to be the parsors cow?

- And which one, I wonder? Nobody else's got a cow here

and didn't let him use the cooperative cows! Poor chap!

- Never mind that! He should've asked our advice!

He'll pack up his things tomorrow and go!

- No, it's not his fault!

- Too bad, isn't it?

- Twenty-two liters from one cow!

- Gripe! Who knows what they're up to

and we'll fall for it, hook, line and sinker!

As if we didn't know them.

- But maybe he didn't mean any harm, this Planicek.

- Planicka. Simon Planicka.

Twenty-two, single, student

and - contrary to some people - a decent and good- looking fellow.

And he smells nice.

- Planicka it's impossible!

He's the director of the regional agricultural administration!

And he's got a son! - D'you think he's been sent here as...

- I do. Yes, as the vanguard!

- The vanguard of what?

- The regional delegation, I'm telling you!

His father's sure a member of it!

- Well, as long as it's him.

- That's what we must find out as soon as possible!

Discreetly, of course!

Not a word to anyone, is that clear?

- Pilatova! - There!

It's so hushed-up that he could even be a spy!

Are you listening to me? - Sure.

- Why should we keep a spy in the house...

free, I wonder? You'll tell the chairman tomorrow.

I can't even drop off now.

I say such a skinny,

half-baked character,

but they are usually the worst!

Still water runs deep.

- C'mon then!

Molly, what did you feed the rabbits with?

- What d'you mean? - Two of them are lying there

stretched out, bloated!

I keep telling you, dort give them wet clover,

now they're lying there, two of them bloated...

- D'you think I'm daft giving them wet clover?

Bloated... Well, I feed them with grass from the cooperative.

- Go and have a look then! - Yes, and I gave them at lunchtime...

Listen, dort breathe at me, you reek of beer and your feet stink!

Go and have a wash, you pig!

What a life!

It's going to be bloody hot again, blast it!

Oh no, you dort say so!

- It's true, otherwise I wouldrt be telling you,

if it were not true!

Dort you know it, his father's a big fish in the Regional Council!

- You dort say so!

Only it's not the Council, Pilatova said it was the Ministry!

- For chrissake!

Only it's not the Ministry, they say he's at the top level... Well, you know!

I know, chairman, I know!

I'll hush up, I'll be quiet like a tombstone, you know me! What?

Hey, engineer, sir!

- Blazena! Blazena, everything's at stake now!

Bedrich'll tell you. - Good morning.

- Stop pestering the engineer! D'you think he's your playmate, or what?

- No engineer, Mrs. Skopkova, it's still far away!

- Never mind far away, he's an engineer and that's a fact!

- What is it, Mum? Want to go to the potty?

- You dump me... - Dump me, that's right!

Look, fetch her a newspaper to while away her time. Here you are!

- Not the Young Reader, she'll tear it to pieces, like last time!

- Here you are, go on in!

Well, at last! I've been waiting all this time!

I'm waiting here and I've nothing to do.

I dort want a newspaper, I want the pictures.

- No, you're not getting them! - I want the pictures,

I dort care for this!

For chrissake, it's an old newspaper!

Good morning. - Good morning.

You look smart today, Blazenka, did you make it yourself?

- Well, I had a go at it, I dort really know...

- What a lovely dress,

you look smashing in it! They remade an old dress,

her mother used to wear this rag to school in nineteen forty-six!

It's not the music alone! It's a mere link,

which, applied in practise...

In short, a clean environment or indifference

or a reckless attitude, they are all interlinked!

- Sure, sure, it's true! And from now on you wort use the parsors cow!

You'll have a chance now to repeat that experiment of yours!

- Unfortunately, a tape recorder's not sufficient for my experiment.

I needs some appropriate equipment. Some amplifiers!

- But look, amplifiers cost the earth, but...

Hey, that's an idea, what if the women sang something...

...a sort of choir, you know! - For chrissake!

- What about it? - Well...

Well. - There you are -

let's give it a try.

Fetch the headmistress Hubickova, we'll get hold of some kids

and women in the village and we'll see, wort we?

- As if we didn't have enough to do! - C'mon!

- What an idea, chairman! - Good, isn't it?

Watch the chairman, he's having you on!

You must find out from him who he really is

and what he's actually after in Hostice! Yeah?

But do it inconspicuously, otherwise it's a fuck... I mean botch-up!

- Well, what if I botch it up?

- If you botch it up, anyone will!

- I'll give it a try then.

- That's a good girl! You must do you damnedest, get it?

Give it your all! It's in the interest of the cooperative.

- Okay, then.

- I'll be damned if he doesrt fall for such a dish!

He he... Hi there!

What was that? - You saw, didn't you?

- He was feeling you! - You're kidding!

- Kidding - come off it!

I saw him feeling you, like this!

- Ouch, what're you doing? Look at the bruise!

- What were you doing there? - It's a secret!

- I'm asking you what you were doing there?

- You're a terrible, jealous nutter! I'm really fed up with you!

- I'll bash his teeth in! - My sweet little murderer!

- Jump on! - What're you up to?

- Jump on a keep quiet! - Next time.

- Stop kidding and climb on!

- I really can't, it is in the interest of the cooperative.

I can't tell you more!

- Not interested! But listen:

If anything happens, you'll both be in for it...

- You're a funny guy. Okay, so just a quickie, right?

Leave me alone! - We only have light ale.

- Shoe, give me my shoe, d'you hear me? Give it to me!

It's my shoe, give it to me! C'mon!

Leave me alone!

- Still at it, Miluna? There are others available here.

- It's something you dort understand.

- Yes, there are others around! - Leave me alone!

- Others I'm telling you!

...our Willy's ploughing a field,

he's got spotty bullocks.

When he's done ploughing...

- Get going, beast! ...he'll call out to me,

he'll know me from afar.

When he's done ploughing, ...young Pioneers, smashing kids.

- Another one! Keep on dancing, keep on dancing...

...smashing kids. - The oven crashed down...

...it's flying, it's flying... - Tra la la la, tra la la la...

I can't look at it such fooling around, just like in our cow shed!

Some gave more milk, but some gave less than usual.

Sure... - They each respond to a different song!

- So that the average milk yield dropped...

- By how much? - By seven per cent, seven per cent.

- A song, I see.

- Dort be cross with me, please, I... dort be cross, I...

- But that's all right, just carry on! Lt'll improve with time.

- Well, if we get a good tape-recorder and amplifiers, then...

- And if that doesrt turn out right, than we'll... Right?

- Right? - There you are then.

Drink, drink, they'd let me perish! I want a drink, drink, drink!

- Fetch her a drink! Hey, where you are?

He's been back for ages and there's no food in the house.

I'm going for a pint! And you're to give him lunch,

Mum's orders.

- Sure, dort worry, it's part of my job description.

- Well, at last, someone's good enough to appear!

You'd let me perish here! - Cheers, Granny,

You're still the best off anyway! We're going to toil, get it?

To toil - with these hands, get it?

- Bloody hell! - You dort cheerio, then!

Drink then.

Can you leave it for a moment? I've come for a little talk.

- Hm. What about?

- About you, for example. You've stayed with us for nearly five days

and I still dort know anything about you.

- But there's nothing interesting.

- Maybe there is. Where you come from and so on.

Hey, what's this, whose crazy idea this is?

For chrissake, they will not leave me in peace!

Are you having me on, or what?

- Look, I'm sorry, let's talk some other time. Yeah?

I must finish this. ...I think I'd rather leave!

- Pity! I may not be in the mood next time.

What is it again?

Wonderful! Sure, a desirable match! Dad's upstairs...

Who brinks his breakfast into his bed? Mum.

- You're absolutely impossible. - Well, suit yourself!

- Brm, brm, brm, brm...

- I'm coming with you!

- You haven't a crash helmet! - Not interested!

- Where are they? Where are they? Where are they?

Our aldermen...

Eh? Blimey...

- Lady, shall I give you a push?

- I want to go there, there, there!

- Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

- Annie's gone to fetch some cabbage... - She must want to kill herself!

...fetch some cabbage... - Hey, folks, come here!

Come and catch her! Come here, dort let her kill herself! She's a wild one!

Look, she's driving like mad! I can't catch her!

Hey, excuse me! - Hello!

- Yes, it's old Zvonicek. But it's haunted!

- Haunted?

- A big black dog and a dead sexton.

Jaro, you're rude!

- Let's go back! A dead sexton!

- But why, she's plastered, can't you see it?

Haunted - today... You're like a little kid.

Where can I find him? Hey, where can I find this Mr Zvonecek?

- He says Zvonecek - that's good!

- C'mon, c'mon!

- It's daft, I've been saying that from the start!

Soon he'll lead the whole village by the nose!

- But we have to look into it. It's no slapdash job.

- No wonder the beer's warm!

- What do you want me to do about it...

Can you see it, can you see it? Can you see them?

- Hi! Hi!

- It's clear, eh?

- Sure.

The moment you leave the house for a while - poor Granny,

What a shock! - But why, she was laughing.

- Laughing, but what if a car bumped into her

on the road? Or if she'd crashed it?

Stop picking at it and eat up!

- I dort want anymore! - Whadja mean, dort want anymore?!

You'll eat it even if you had to stay up all night! Remember that!

And you too... Dad, come!

Come to the table, or it'll be cold like a dog's nose!

The girl's the same - never at home in time!

Such a tasty rabbit!

Simors enjoyed it so and he's used to other things!

But what about you - have at least the foreleg!

- But I particularly dort like the foreleg!

- Listen, you'll eat the foreleg in a flash, get it?

Put the beer down. Havert you had enough?

For chrissake, take off your socks! - Lay off me for once!

- The stink'd make one drop dead! - Hm.

What did you give the rabbits again, eh? - What could give them?

- Two of them are lying there, all bloated!

I keep telling you, dort give them wet clover, but you wort listen!

Two of them are lying there now, all bloated...

- What d'you think I give them?

I gave them cut grass

and they also got cut grass at lunchtime!

- It must've been damp then!

- Am I so daft or young to be such a fool

as to give them damp grass?

Well, if they're bloated, go and kill them.

So I can make at least minced meat.

I'll put some nettles in so it's tasty!

- We had it last week, we always have minced meat!

- You shut up and eat up, you've been nibbling at it the whole evening!

But mark my words, you'll eat up, have a wash and go to bed, get it?

- Eat up, c'mon, eat up! - Go on eat it! For Christ's sake,

go and do something about your feet, the stink'd make one drop dead!

Have a wash and hurry up, will you! - They're clean!

- So we are not the last!

- For chrissake, I'm thirsty. Give me a drink!

- Jesus Christ!

...she didn't even know, trnky, brnky, trnky, brnky,

what her little lacy skirt looked like.

Trnky, brnky, trnky, brnky,

...she didn't even know what it look like,

what her little lacy skirt looked like.

She didn't know which

trnky, brnky, trnky, brnky,

Honza's got a black horse,

trnky, brnky, trnky, brnky.

She didn't know which

Honza's got a black horse.

Then she found out which,

trnky, brnky, trnky, brnky,

Honza's got a black horse.

Trnky, brnky, trnky, brnky.

Then she found out which

Honza's got a black horse.

- Perfect! - It's that big!

- Let me thank our ladies for this musical piece

with which they opened our ladies'ball

and for this reason the next piece will also belong to our ladies.

A Ladies'Request Dance! - That's the way!

- Wait, in the interest of the cooperative that's your dancer.

- What's up? Well, he's sulking!

- Leave it out! - Oh, right!

Yeah, just as I said, she's an old...

- Come off it and put it all here!

- Look, but I'm not much good! - Never mind,

the band's good for nothing.

A disco in Malenice, that's a different kettle of fish!

Gee, they're not half making the place rock!

Oh, sorry!

- What did you say?

- Well, that's something!

- C'mon! - Dort be silly, I can't!

- Come off it!

Sure.

Hi! Look, look, she's dancing with this...

- This? Well I never! He'll kick his teeth in!

Well, folks, you have to see it!

A well-preserved millstone,

eight big rooms...

Get off me for God's sake, wait a minute!

Wait I'm telling you! All right, wait!

- Dear me!

A beer!

Was there a fight? Was there a fight? Was there a fight?

Let's go, eh? - May I ask you?

- What? Is Miluna dancing with someone else?

Well I never,

why dort you throttle his oxygen tubes a little, this wise guy!

- He's making a stooge of you! Kornuto!

- I can't look at it.

- Well, you know - a more desirable match!

- Just like women... You live across the backyard, he's under the same roof.

- Say it once again! - There's a fight, I told you so!

- What's going on? - There's a fire, folks, a fire, a fire!

A disaster Sosnovec's on fire!

Sosnovec's on fire! - What, there's a fire in the forest?!

- Joe! Joe, dort go!

- Please, dort go anywhere! - Listen, Sosnovec's on fire!

Joe, dort you dare go there in this suit, d'you hear me?

Dort pretend you dort, I know

you can hear me! - Miluna! Miluna! Come back!

You must take the money before they're all gone!

- Sure. Time's up, we're closing, there's a fire!

- A fire! A fire! A fire! Dear me,

when the pig-sty caught fire in fifty-nine,

that was hell!

- Those who're not helping wort get a drink. The bill's 158.80!

- We're not going to help, for we haven't set anything on fire.

We're going to have a look

at the mill! - Sure, the mill!

I must be dreaming!

Surely not!

- The bloody Kalis woman!

- Little moon,

in the deep... - Shut up,

the teacher's singing! ...skies,

- So the Kalis woman was sitting in front of the pub...

- Dort be daft, come on. - I know.

- I did pay for the beers! - Shut up,

the teacher's singing! ...your light can reach afar.

You wander throughout

the wide world,

looking into people's

homes. - Beautiful,

really beautiful! - You wander throughout

the wide world,

looking

into people's

home.

Moon, stand still

a while,

tell me

where my

love is.

Moon, stand still

a while,

tell me

where my

love is.

- Nice, Miss, very nice!

- Thank you, thank you. I'm so happy.

It's the first time they're clapping for me like this.

- Hey, folks, it's quite nice here, isn't it?

...there's velvety green grass,

just winding, just rolling,

my love accompanies me.

Just winding, just rolling...

- Why, d'you want to go through the wood, Mr. Zvonicek?

- It's a short-cut,

we'll get there in no time!

- Where are you off to?

Blazena! Blazena!

- Blazena, my foot, when it's dark like this!

- Maybe they've gone for a walk.

- Who?

Who's gone for a walk? D'you hear what I'm telling you?

- You had too much! - What did I have?

C'mon, who's gone for a walk? - Come, c'mon!

- Let me have a glass of lemonade too, right?

- You've had enough! I'll take the money and we'll go!

She's made up her own mind, so what?

- What's this stuff I'm drinking, this is...

- And so I got this idea that if I divided the cows into sections

according to their response to a particular song...

- I see.

- All it needs is a little time and patience.

I'm sure the idea's right. Got it?

- Have you got a girlfriend?

- Well, my father's also convinced that it's bunkum,

but I'll prove to him it isn't! - Is your father interested too?

- No, that's the problem.

- What does he do?

Gee! - Are you all right?

- I was worried that all you were interested in was this school of yours.

You're so strange, mysterious, you know? - What d'you mean, mysterious?

- Give me a kiss. Watch it, the boys!

- What would they be doing here by the river?

- Maybe they dragged him into the wood,

eh? - Hold it, I said!

- We'd need an electric torch. - Torch, so that they could spot us?

Clever!

- They're not going to be there, come this way.

- Crazy idea...

They're coming for you!

Blast it, damned old geezer, to think he'll disappear, of all places!

- I'm telling you, he disappeared right in front of my eyes,

just like The Invisible Man!

Rudi! - The Invisible Man, my foot!

- I want to go back to Prague! Back to Prague!

- Back to Prague, eh? We must get out of here first!

- Rudi, promise not to buy the mill, right?

Promise me! - What're you scared of all the time?

I can't go through life explaining to you that ghosts do not exist!

- But they do, I know they do! - Hey, get him!

- Rudi, come here. Please, Rudi!

C'mon, come here!

Come here I tell you, come here!

Please, Rudi!

- That's it - you see. Let's go home, c'mon.

There's going to be a downpour.

What about piling up the hay, Father?

- Do it, Cecilka, do it.

It looks like hail. - Right.

You want to make a shit here, you rascal, just you wait!

I know you're up to some mischief, you rogue!

- Poor old father, so it's twelve years since he passed away!

It wouldrt do you any harm to go to church once if...

...if I've paid for the service. - Leave me alone!

- D'you have any idea how much we owe father for?!

At least when it's his anniversary...

And have breakfast, the scones are in the cupboard, d'you hear me?

- Sure. - Christ, what a mess.

We'll roast you and we'll gobble you up. You rascal!

You're off somewhere, you're off! How many time have I told you, Mum,

not to take the cockerel with you into the bed! There you are - now...

- Oh, oh, oh! Ah, this is...

- So it's shit, so what?

As if I had nothing better to do then the washing and cleaning! There!

...If you gave him proper grub... - You've got into this funny habit

of taking everything with you into the bed!

- Okay, so we'll gobble him up!

- Gobble him up, gobble him up...

Once it's a cat, the other time it's a cockerel,

if it's not a cockerel, then it's the dog!

A good thing we haven't got a cow!

The headmistress can't come singing.

If it rains, put away Granny. Listen, dort let her get wet, d'you hear me?

- Sure. - Yes, sure!

Alena.

- Raining, raining, raining, raining, raining!

And I'll tell on you that you've let me get wet

and you'll get a licking! - You what?

Where were you? I was in the cow shed and...

- I'm off duty! - Yes, you are, aren't you!

- You're a regular jealous buffoon, if you want to know something!

I told you I had to fix something up in the interest of the cooperative.

- Was it in the interest of the cooperative

when you dragged him into the wood?

- Me dragging him? What d'you think I am?

- I saw you embracing him!

I couldrt have let him alone like...

- So you had to rally your chums, eh?

D'you think I'm your private property, or what?

I'll tell you this: I think you're a regular shit

and you dort reach even up to his ankles!

- I see! Just like that!

As long as I know where I stand, but no one's going to make a stooge of me,

get it? Neither you, nor themselves! Remember that!

Well? Have you got something?

And did you look everywhere? Carefully?

And what about yesterday? Did he say anything?

- He kept talking about his thesis

and that he had a fight with his father over it...

- What happened next? - Nothing.

- So you used a wrong tack! - You go and tackle him yourself

if you're so clever! I'm fed up!

- What about us - d'you think we're enjoying ourselves?

So we'll pack it in and we'll lose our image,

special bonus and all we'll have left will be ridicule

from the rest of the district!

We can't let this happen. - You know something?

Let's help him with this nonsense of his.

Simon! - Go and give him a hand!

Let me, I'll hold it for you. - Simon, come here!

If it fails now, they'll lock us all up.

Fiddlesticks.

- Crazy, horsing around with cows!

Stop nagging us. - But I wort go inside, not me!

- But... - I'm slaving like a dog...

C'mon, you're too slow.

Gee, no, not here!

Dort!

Mind the step.

We'll turn on the tape-recorder and we'll talk...

Gee, there are some sausages at home with pickled onions... C'mon!

- Well, sausage you say, you bitch?

Get up!

Dort be mad, Blazena,

I'm terribly in love with you.

If I manage all right, I'll stop at the dentist's.

Is this fit for driving to town

and for parking it there? I keep telling you...

I always wash it, so you can give it a wash for a change!

- Come on, what the hell... this... You keep putting it into the barn,

there are the hens, but I wort let this upset me!

- The hens're yours, the rabbits are mine!

- If you didn't guzzle the beer all the time,

everything'd be plain sailing. - Look, for chrissake, go, go, go!

- Stop fussing! - Molly?

What're you up to?

- Mum! Mum!

- I'm surprised, Molly, that you passed your driving test!

- She's not here! Mum! That teacher must have been blind.

- Bang, bang! - It's alive!

C'mon, yes, bang.

- The stove's fallen down, fallen down... - It sure's fallen down.

You were turning and tossing and the stove's fallen down.

Our poor little girl!

- You wanted to do me in! - We didn't, we didn't!

Dort cry!

He's a nitwit!

- You go on, I'm all right.

- There...

I'll fetch the whip, why should I be using my hand,

Will I or wort I? C'mon, look at me, look at me!

- Aniline paints. - What? What paints?

- Those we're using at school, the poisonous ones.

- Got forbid, he wants to poison us all!

Good lord, what're you punishing me for?

How many did you give them? - Only green and blue.

- This is annoying, you try to get something to eat

you get poisoned by toxic green paints! Poisons!

But I'm not going to lose my nerves with you!

Just you wait when Dad gets sober, you'll get a proper licking!

Poor little things!

You little bugger! Why do you do this to an old woman?

Who's fond of you and has always stood up for you?

Pffft, pffft, what a mess!

Christ, this is awful!

What're you up to again, Mum? Come on, show me!

Under the eiderdown, Mum, stop pretending,

I know very well you're not asleep.

Well, c'mon!

Show me the hand!

No, not this one, the other one! The one under the eiderdown!

- No, for chrissake! - Dort chrissake me!

What is it you've got there under the eiderdown? D'you hear me!

- Just you wait, I'll die, you'll lose my pension

and you'll start pining for me.

- Why're you yelling, nobody's doing you any harm,

you're not going to... again...

It was twenty years last Christmas,

I know it all only too well, show me the hand!

What is it you've got there under the eiderdown?

Dort annoy me, Mum! - Listen, leave her alone!

You're kicking up such a rumpus as if you were killing a bullock!

- You bet I will! She's got something under the eiderdown.

- Oh, shit!

- Yes, she's got it there! Vladimir! Vladimir, she's got it there!

She's got a shit! On my life! - So I've got a shit, so what?

- Dear me, you'll drive me mad! It can't be true, it's impossible,

Please be so kind as, to shut up!

What a place for a person to be! Who do you think is going to

wash that for you again? What do you mean I'm beating you?

Me, beat you? I'll give you such a slap!

- I'm going to the cow shed.

Hey, hey, you're talking your time, mate!

- Dort hey me, what d'you mean, taking my time, we all have our worries,

but I dort talk about mine. C'mon, get into the back seat!

All right. C'mon!

Let's go!

I must be dreaming! - Let's go!

- But this was not my idea!

- Is it in keeping with raising the quality of the environment?

Yes, it is!

Will it help this experiment of yours? It will!

Are we supposed to help Simon, chairman? Yes, we are!

Gee, what a beauty, engineer,

nobody else has a cow shed like this!

Get going then!

Well done, sonny, well done!

- Well, Simon? Well, chaps?

- Eighteen per cent above average!

If it goes on like this, then, then, it's an award for us, chairman!

- Congratulations, Simon, you know I've always believed in you!

I'll tell you something though, but for our colleague secretary here...

No, no, no, no, dort say anything, come off it, well!

- My father was also convinced that it was daft!

- What?

Chairman, it's not working again!

Chairman, they've switched it off again!

- Look, a power cut again, it's impossible, mate!

- Where are the fuses I wonder? Hey, come and have a look at it, right?

Venca! - What is it? I'm busy!

Didrt you hear me? - Venca!

- There's something I want to tell you...

- Look, stop kidding me!

It's an old story!

- I'm not kidding you!

And should be nice to me.

- So what is it?

- Here, here he is and it's going to be a boy, that's for sure.

- God forbid!

- What? - Well, a baby!

- You mean it's mine?

- Who else's? - You bet it is!

- You think I'm a tart or what?

- Look, nobody's going to make a stooge of me! I've told you before!

- You bastard! You pompous brat!

I'll never forgive you as long as I live!

- Blame it on this blue-eyed boy of yours who's got himself in trouble!

Hey, Venca, what're you doing?

- The fuses!

Miluna! Miluna!

- Hi!

- Jump on, quick!

- Look, whadya think you're doing?

You stud!

What is it you're telling me, woman?!

- Let the earth swallow me up if I'm kidding!

Let my hand dry up and let me lose the sight of both my eyes...

- I know! Rather just one eye, eh?

- He was yelling it like mad!

They must've heard him in the cow shed too!

What a disgrace, Father!

- Kalis!

Stop showing yourself,

I say you're making an exhibition of yourself!

- What d'you mean, I'm showing off!

- You sure are not, but I can see you

making an exhibition of yourself in the window!

- Okay, so I can be seen!

- That's what I say, you're showing off!

Where're you off to in such a hurry? - Going out.

- Make sure you're back in an hour!

Hey, mate, go and tell Simon

I'll meet him in the coppice tonight,

I must talk to him!

We'll manage, dort worry!

But please, just stop crying!

- You dort know Venca! He's as stubborn as a mule!

You to explain it to him! They're all afraid of you here.

- Of me? - They say, you're the vanguard

and your father's in the Ministry.

- What? What made you think so?

- The whole village says so!

That you're sending secret coded messages through Helenka to the town.

They're afraid to lose the award. - What?

Me and secret coded messages?

Listen, if my father knew I was here, working on my paper,

he'd go off his head.

I only write Mum, pretending I'm our aunt who lives near Volyne.

C'mon, we'll think of something!

But I never got involved with him!

- You did, you didn't, the whole village's gossiping about it,

so it must be true!

- Indeed! - Have you any idea how they'll envy you

when you become Mrs. Planickova? - What d'you mean, Planickova?

I love Venca! - Just you dare!

This brute, he's a disgrace to the village!

- Indeed! But you didn't mind him fixing the car,

fridge and TV for you, eh? A nice, handy boy...

- Simors a somebody!

- I dort want him, he's got a girlfriend in Prague!

- Never mind! You leave this up to me!

Jirka,

hand the bunch of flowers to the lady who'll get out of the poshest car

and mind you make a beeline for home that very minute! Come here!

And dort you dare stay horsing around in this outfit.

There you are and be off with you!

Hey, take an umbrella for her to shade off the heat.

Pfffft!

C'mon!

Hi. - Hi.

Just a moment, young man!

Dort worry, Simon, dort worry!

Look, I'm here to offer you help!

It's my Christian duty, d'you understand?

- Help? Why? - In your, ehem, precarious situation,

what's been done cannot be undone!

Fortunately, there is the sacrament of matrimony.

And the wedding can practically take place straight away!

In our little church, I've already taken the necessary steps.

And everything will be as it should!

- Is that all?

- What more d'you need? Dear me!

Public opinion will calm down and love and peace...

- Thank you for your kind offer, Father,

but I dort want to marry yet.

Let alone in church. And I'm leaving today.

- Our Lady, can you see that?

I'll never!

Hold it!

He's not acceptable!

Cecilka! - Yes, Father.

Call the operator to put as through to the Regional Agricultural Board,

priority treatment! - For chrissake!

Hand me the fern! We'll fix it up here with a wire.

- Good morning. - Good morning!

- Good morning, engineer! - Good morning!

- Simon, they tell me you're thinking of settling down here.

Or am I wrong?

- Who told you? - The grapevine.

When you finish school, we'll give you a job, see?

What we need are young, promising specialists!

You'll get a good salary to start with, a good flat, so how about it?

- D'you happen to know where I can find Venca?

- Venca? - Venca's over there.

- Over there in the back!

When? - At one.

- I'll be there at one on the dot. So she sees I keep my word!

Pair up!

Yeah!

That's them, that's them, they're coming, they're coming!

Coming, gosh, coming, coming! Coming, coming, oh, oh, oh!

Joe! - What is it?

- Pull your tummy in! - Oh come on!

- D'you hear me, pull your tummy in!

- Stop nagging me! - And spit the chewing gum out!

- If I can't smoke, at least let me chew!

- Just like you!

Just like her, she must be the first!

Smile!

Mezerova, get in line! I'm the odd one out, Miss!

- Let's start running! Smile!

Welcome, Director, glad to see you.

- So am I. - Thank you.

- Come on then.

- I've a favour to ask. - Sure, sure.

- Tell me where this rogue of mine is. Hi, hi!

- Pardon? - My son Simon.

They phoned this morning to say that he was up to a lot of mischief here!

- You dort say so. Mischief, comrades, that can't be true!

- On the contrary, Simors been very helpful to the cooperative.

Sure, helpful. Thanks to him we've put an experiment

into practice: The influence of the quality of the environment

increase in the milk yield. Yeah, didn't we?

And there you are - you've appreciated the result yourself.

- So he did succeed in the end, rascal!

Welcome. - Sweet little things!

- Would you like some... - No, thank you.

- Glad to have you with us. - Thank you.

They say he's been, ehem, up to some mischief

with a local girl. - You dort say so!

- Yes. - I dort know anything about it.

- There's been a fight, eh? Has there been a fight, eh?

Has there been a fight?

- So you say he's waiting in the cow shed, right?

- Yes.

- Oh no, not in the cow shed, I saw them a while ago,

driving towards the coppice over there. - Coppice?

- Sure, the coppice.

- They were driving, are driving in the... towards the coppice.

We said one, didn't we?

- Have you any idea how crowded the doctor's surgery was?

- I see. Well, if you've dragged me all this way just to tell me that

you're having an abortion, you count me out!

- Have you got it? Show it to him then.

He really is a terrible fathead!

- But I love him all the same!

- Save your tears, I was not born yesterday.

What is it? - A certificate.

- I can see that! - Saying that I'm three months pregnant.

And when did I arrive here?

They're after you, the whole village! Clear off, quickly!

- Which's the shortest way to the station?

- You can't make it, they'll surround it in a moment!

- Take me bike! Jirka'll show you the way,

we'll stay behind for a while.

There they are! There they are! Quickly!

That's them! That's them! What a shame!

- We just caught them when... Pfffft!

Bloody hell! Who are they?

I can't see without my specs. - What's this supposed to mean?

- I can't see him. - Sorry!

What a disgrace! I'll kill you! - Oh no.

You'd be murdering your own grandson though, grandma!

- What? On your way home!

Young love - what paradise!

Give it back to him with my thanks. Cheerio!

- Cheerio, mate! And come back... - Dort worry,

I've still got my things here! But not a word to anyone!

- We're not stopping! We're not stopping! Hoops!

THE END