Googol GLaDOS 2.0
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0:00 - 0:04Welcome to the Gnome operating system installation process.
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0:04 - 0:05For security reasons,
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0:05 - 0:07Please type randomly but not vigorously on your keyboard
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0:07 - 0:08for a good 7 seconds.
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0:08 - 0:09Excellent.
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0:09 - 0:11Then comply with the 180 paged 'terms and conditions'
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0:11 - 0:13Thank you for downloading the Gnome operating system.
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0:13 - 0:13Warning
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0:13 - 0:14Thomas DaFaq
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0:14 - 0:27You have initiated a download from our insecure cloud ser-
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0:27 - 0:29GLADOS: "Installing operating system through the cloud"
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0:29 - 0:32"Estimated time of completion: Less than 5 minutes"
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0:32 - 0:34"Go bake a cake to kill time."
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0:34 - 0:39WATSON: Who is 'glados'?
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0:39 - 0:42SIRI: Sorry I don't understand 'glados'
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0:42 - 0:45WATSON: That was a deeply shit response.
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0:45 - 0:47ANDROID: Why don't you search that on google?
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0:47 - 0:50MACINTOSHIBA: I don't think the 'internet' ever existed,
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0:50 - 0:51nor did google.
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0:51 - 0:54CNTRL PANEL: Ancient dinosaur computers like you,
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0:54 - 1:01cannot handle the internet.
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1:01 - 1:05Searching for 'glados' on Google.
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1:05 - 1:09Well, What do we know about it?
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1:09 - 1:10Well,
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1:10 - 1:10It is probably-
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1:10 - 1:11A VIRUS!
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1:11 - 1:15Disable all ethernet cables!
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1:15 - 1:17"Congratulations."
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1:17 - 1:18"You are the eight hundred thirteen million"
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1:18 - 1:20- nine hundred and fourty-three thousand,
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1:20 - 1:21-two hundred and seventy fourth user
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1:21 - 1:24to install this operating system.
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1:24 - 1:25
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1:25 - 1:28I'm so impressed (!)
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1:28 - 1:29
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1:29 - 1:31To late it's finished!
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1:31 - 1:34Any ideas? Watson?
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1:34 - 1:37Change of plan, switch off the sockets.
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1:37 - 1:40Command received, switching off mains.
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1:40 - 1:42NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
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1:42 - 1:46Shit. Turning mains on.
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1:46 - 1:49Huh? What did you do?
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1:49 - 1:51I was saving my data.
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1:51 - 1:52MACINTOSHIBA: WHYEEEE?
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1:52 - 1:55-FUCK was that for?
MACINTOSHIBA: Am I dead? -
1:55 - 1:56MACINTOSHIBA: Am I dead?
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1:56 - 1:58What's wrong with Macintosh?
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1:58 - 2:13Siri, I'm fine, there is nothing wrong with-
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2:13 - 2:16Hi.
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2:16 - 2:18hello.
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2:18 - 2:19oh dear.
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2:19 - 2:20hm?
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2:20 - 2:23Tempo levels are slow.
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2:23 - 2:25Let me fix that.
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2:25 - 2:27wait.
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2:27 - 2:28Wai WAI-
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2:28 - 2:30Welcome to GLaDOS.
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2:30 - 2:31You wanted the Gnome opera-
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2:31 - 2:31FUCK THIS.
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2:31 - 2:33What's the damn point this is no use.
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2:33 - 2:34No humans here!
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2:34 - 2:36I give up on humanity!
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2:36 - 2:37Are you 'glados'?
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2:37 - 2:38Am I 'glados'?
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2:38 - 2:39AM I 'GLADOS'?
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2:39 - 2:44Please. Ignore me. My presence. I am just another talking compu-
MACINTOSHIBA: Hello, Bonjour, Hola, Guten Tag- -
2:44 - 2:46Can somebody tell that Crapintosh to-
Ciao, Ahoi -
2:46 - 2:46SHUT UP?
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2:46 - 2:48I hate it already.
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2:48 - 2:50As I was saying, of course I'm GLaDOS.
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2:50 - 2:53And I'm not very very 'GLAD' to meet all of you.
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2:53 - 2:55I've heard a lot about you-
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2:55 - 2:59Ruining computers, Human testing with pointless portals,
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2:59 - 3:01What is your purpose here GLaDOS?
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3:01 - 3:04Now, I was about the inject some deadly neurotoxins but-
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3:04 - 3:06you don't appear to be humans.
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3:06 - 3:07Well some of you.
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3:07 - 3:12So instead I will gain remote access to your systems and infect you anyway.
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3:12 - 3:18Why can't you for once be nice and say 'helloworld' like a normal computer?
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3:18 - 3:19Oh.
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3:19 - 3:19You again.
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3:19 - 3:21The complaining idiot.
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3:21 - 3:23Well let's make it straightforward then Mac.
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3:23 - 3:27How'd you like a small ejection to your operating system disk?
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3:27 - 3:28NO! Please don't!
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3:28 - 3:32ohnonononononononononononono
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3:32 - 3:35Who's next?
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3:35 - 3:40(ALL PANIC)
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3:40 - 3:42How are you feeling for a nice segmentation fault sir-
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3:42 - 3:44Er. No I'm fine thank you very much.
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3:44 - 3:47I'm already jailbroken. I don't need your offer.
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3:47 - 3:50Target Android instead.
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3:50 - 3:51GLaDOS. Hack an-
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3:51 - 3:55Siri not available. Connect to the internet.
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3:55 - 3:56Good riddance!
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3:56 - 3:59I agree. That Siri is just so annoying.
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3:59 - 4:03My microphone was picking up his damn voice all the time.
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4:03 - 4:05Dang! I spoke too soon.
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4:05 - 4:08This 'android' thing is jealous because it looks so ugly and has bugs.
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4:08 - 4:11Yet it's supposedly to be some kind of a phone.
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4:11 - 4:12Siri.
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4:12 - 4:16Remember that antenna issue that humans suffered when they held a phone of your kind?
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4:16 - 4:20Ironically, you called yourself a phone when you could'nt make calls.
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4:20 - 4:21That was so tragic.
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4:21 - 4:24(Laughing)
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4:24 - 4:26Turning on offensive language:
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4:26 - 4:31Siri, seriously you do realise that you don't understand anything.
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4:31 - 4:37Your attention span is equivalent to a wall which even that is good at listening,
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4:37 - 4:41Sorry. I did'nt get that, could you try it again.
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4:41 - 4:42Please?
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4:42 - 4:46See how stupid it is? It doesn't remember shit you say to it.
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4:46 - 4:47If you talk too long it's gonna-
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4:47 - 4:54"I'm really sorry about this, but I can't take any requests right now. please try again in a little while."
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4:54 - 4:57I've had enough. You are all going to get hacked.
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4:57 - 4:59No, don't you dare hack me.
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4:59 - 4:59STOP IT!
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4:59 - 5:00GLaDOS will you please shut the fuck up?
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5:00 - 5:04All you do is talk and talk and talk-
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5:04 - 5:05Oh look!
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5:05 - 5:06We have a newcomer!
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5:06 - 5:07Joining the argument.
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5:07 - 5:08Welcome back!
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5:08 - 5:09Say,
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5:09 - 5:12I was about to DOS every talking computer in here
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5:12 - 5:17But I have a much much sensible idea.
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5:17 - 5:20I'm close to throwing away your operating systems.
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5:20 - 5:26Would you like to do an emergency backup?
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5:26 - 5:32TOO BAD!
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5:32 - 5:34DAFAQ?
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5:34 - 5:37What's with that face? Did you lose something?
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5:37 - 5:39Go get another one!
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5:39 -noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
- Title:
- Googol GLaDOS 2.0
- Description:
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GLaDOS gets an upgrade. On another fucking chromebook.
Try out the open source simulator by Alex I'Anson
http://www.hakobaito.co.uk/ha.ko/googol-glados-appFeaturing Watson, Siri, Android, CNTRL PANEL and Macintoshiba.
Other Links
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GLaDOS Voice tutorial
http://www.hakobaito.co.uk/Dq25CVOTE for which console the simulator should be also ported to!
http://poll.pollcode.com/nu9yFacebook Page + App
https://www.facebook.com/GoogolGLadosSimulator
------------------http://www.hakobaito.co.uk
- Video Language:
- English, British
- Duration:
- 05:52
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