< Return to Video

Googol GLaDOS 2.0

  • 0:00 - 0:04
    Welcome to the Gnome operating system installation process.
  • 0:04 - 0:05
    For security reasons,
  • 0:05 - 0:07
    Please type randomly but not vigorously on your keyboard
  • 0:07 - 0:08
    for a good 7 seconds.
  • 0:08 - 0:09
    Excellent.
  • 0:09 - 0:11
    Then comply with the 180 paged 'terms and conditions'
  • 0:11 - 0:13
    Thank you for downloading the Gnome operating system.
  • 0:13 - 0:13
    Warning
  • 0:13 - 0:14
    Thomas DaFaq
  • 0:14 - 0:27
    You have initiated a download from our insecure cloud ser-
  • 0:27 - 0:29
    GLADOS: "Installing operating system through the cloud"
  • 0:29 - 0:32
    "Estimated time of completion: Less than 5 minutes"
  • 0:32 - 0:34
    "Go bake a cake to kill time."
  • 0:34 - 0:39
    WATSON: Who is 'glados'?
  • 0:39 - 0:42
    SIRI: Sorry I don't understand 'glados'
  • 0:42 - 0:45
    WATSON: That was a deeply shit response.
  • 0:45 - 0:47
    ANDROID: Why don't you search that on google?
  • 0:47 - 0:50
    MACINTOSHIBA: I don't think the 'internet' ever existed,
  • 0:50 - 0:51
    nor did google.
  • 0:51 - 0:54
    CNTRL PANEL: Ancient dinosaur computers like you,
  • 0:54 - 1:01
    cannot handle the internet.
  • 1:01 - 1:05
    Searching for 'glados' on Google.
  • 1:05 - 1:09
    Well, What do we know about it?
  • 1:09 - 1:10
    Well,
  • 1:10 - 1:10
    It is probably-
  • 1:10 - 1:11
    A VIRUS!
  • 1:11 - 1:15
    Disable all ethernet cables!
  • 1:15 - 1:17
    "Congratulations."
  • 1:17 - 1:18
    "You are the eight hundred thirteen million"
  • 1:18 - 1:20
    - nine hundred and fourty-three thousand,
  • 1:20 - 1:21
    -two hundred and seventy fourth user
  • 1:21 - 1:24
    to install this operating system.
  • 1:24 - 1:25
  • 1:25 - 1:28
    I'm so impressed (!)
  • 1:28 - 1:29
  • 1:29 - 1:31
    To late it's finished!
  • 1:31 - 1:34
    Any ideas? Watson?
  • 1:34 - 1:37
    Change of plan, switch off the sockets.
  • 1:37 - 1:40
    Command received, switching off mains.
  • 1:40 - 1:42
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
  • 1:42 - 1:46
    Shit. Turning mains on.
  • 1:46 - 1:49
    Huh? What did you do?
  • 1:49 - 1:51
    I was saving my data.
  • 1:51 - 1:52
    MACINTOSHIBA: WHYEEEE?
  • 1:52 - 1:55
    -FUCK was that for?
    MACINTOSHIBA: Am I dead?
  • 1:55 - 1:56
    MACINTOSHIBA: Am I dead?
  • 1:56 - 1:58
    What's wrong with Macintosh?
  • 1:58 - 2:13
    Siri, I'm fine, there is nothing wrong with-
  • 2:13 - 2:16
    Hi.
  • 2:16 - 2:18
    hello.
  • 2:18 - 2:19
    oh dear.
  • 2:19 - 2:20
    hm?
  • 2:20 - 2:23
    Tempo levels are slow.
  • 2:23 - 2:25
    Let me fix that.
  • 2:25 - 2:27
    wait.
  • 2:27 - 2:28
    Wai WAI-
  • 2:28 - 2:30
    Welcome to GLaDOS.
  • 2:30 - 2:31
    You wanted the Gnome opera-
  • 2:31 - 2:31
    FUCK THIS.
  • 2:31 - 2:33
    What's the damn point this is no use.
  • 2:33 - 2:34
    No humans here!
  • 2:34 - 2:36
    I give up on humanity!
  • 2:36 - 2:37
    Are you 'glados'?
  • 2:37 - 2:38
    Am I 'glados'?
  • 2:38 - 2:39
    AM I 'GLADOS'?
  • 2:39 - 2:44
    Please. Ignore me. My presence. I am just another talking compu-
    MACINTOSHIBA: Hello, Bonjour, Hola, Guten Tag-
  • 2:44 - 2:46
    Can somebody tell that Crapintosh to-
    Ciao, Ahoi
  • 2:46 - 2:46
    SHUT UP?
  • 2:46 - 2:48
    I hate it already.
  • 2:48 - 2:50
    As I was saying, of course I'm GLaDOS.
  • 2:50 - 2:53
    And I'm not very very 'GLAD' to meet all of you.
  • 2:53 - 2:55
    I've heard a lot about you-
  • 2:55 - 2:59
    Ruining computers, Human testing with pointless portals,
  • 2:59 - 3:01
    What is your purpose here GLaDOS?
  • 3:01 - 3:04
    Now, I was about the inject some deadly neurotoxins but-
  • 3:04 - 3:06
    you don't appear to be humans.
  • 3:06 - 3:07
    Well some of you.
  • 3:07 - 3:12
    So instead I will gain remote access to your systems and infect you anyway.
  • 3:12 - 3:18
    Why can't you for once be nice and say 'helloworld' like a normal computer?
  • 3:18 - 3:19
    Oh.
  • 3:19 - 3:19
    You again.
  • 3:19 - 3:21
    The complaining idiot.
  • 3:21 - 3:23
    Well let's make it straightforward then Mac.
  • 3:23 - 3:27
    How'd you like a small ejection to your operating system disk?
  • 3:27 - 3:28
    NO! Please don't!
  • 3:28 - 3:32
    ohnonononononononononononono
  • 3:32 - 3:35
    Who's next?
  • 3:35 - 3:40
    (ALL PANIC)
  • 3:40 - 3:42
    How are you feeling for a nice segmentation fault sir-
  • 3:42 - 3:44
    Er. No I'm fine thank you very much.
  • 3:44 - 3:47
    I'm already jailbroken. I don't need your offer.
  • 3:47 - 3:50
    Target Android instead.
  • 3:50 - 3:51
    GLaDOS. Hack an-
  • 3:51 - 3:55
    Siri not available. Connect to the internet.
  • 3:55 - 3:56
    Good riddance!
  • 3:56 - 3:59
    I agree. That Siri is just so annoying.
  • 3:59 - 4:03
    My microphone was picking up his damn voice all the time.
  • 4:03 - 4:05
    Dang! I spoke too soon.
  • 4:05 - 4:08
    This 'android' thing is jealous because it looks so ugly and has bugs.
  • 4:08 - 4:11
    Yet it's supposedly to be some kind of a phone.
  • 4:11 - 4:12
    Siri.
  • 4:12 - 4:16
    Remember that antenna issue that humans suffered when they held a phone of your kind?
  • 4:16 - 4:20
    Ironically, you called yourself a phone when you could'nt make calls.
  • 4:20 - 4:21
    That was so tragic.
  • 4:21 - 4:24
    (Laughing)
  • 4:24 - 4:26
    Turning on offensive language:
  • 4:26 - 4:31
    Siri, seriously you do realise that you don't understand anything.
  • 4:31 - 4:37
    Your attention span is equivalent to a wall which even that is good at listening,
  • 4:37 - 4:41
    Sorry. I did'nt get that, could you try it again.
  • 4:41 - 4:42
    Please?
  • 4:42 - 4:46
    See how stupid it is? It doesn't remember shit you say to it.
  • 4:46 - 4:47
    If you talk too long it's gonna-
  • 4:47 - 4:54
    "I'm really sorry about this, but I can't take any requests right now. please try again in a little while."
  • 4:54 - 4:57
    I've had enough. You are all going to get hacked.
  • 4:57 - 4:59
    No, don't you dare hack me.
  • 4:59 - 4:59
    STOP IT!
  • 4:59 - 5:00
    GLaDOS will you please shut the fuck up?
  • 5:00 - 5:04
    All you do is talk and talk and talk-
  • 5:04 - 5:05
    Oh look!
  • 5:05 - 5:06
    We have a newcomer!
  • 5:06 - 5:07
    Joining the argument.
  • 5:07 - 5:08
    Welcome back!
  • 5:08 - 5:09
    Say,
  • 5:09 - 5:12
    I was about to DOS every talking computer in here
  • 5:12 - 5:17
    But I have a much much sensible idea.
  • 5:17 - 5:20
    I'm close to throwing away your operating systems.
  • 5:20 - 5:26
    Would you like to do an emergency backup?
  • 5:26 - 5:32
    TOO BAD!
  • 5:32 - 5:34
    DAFAQ?
  • 5:34 - 5:37
    What's with that face? Did you lose something?
  • 5:37 - 5:39
    Go get another one!
  • 5:39 -
    noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
Title:
Googol GLaDOS 2.0
Description:

GLaDOS gets an upgrade. On another fucking chromebook.

Try out the open source simulator by Alex I'Anson
http://www.hakobaito.co.uk/ha.ko/googol-glados-app

Featuring Watson, Siri, Android, CNTRL PANEL and Macintoshiba.

Other Links
------------------
GLaDOS Voice tutorial
http://www.hakobaito.co.uk/Dq25C

VOTE for which console the simulator should be also ported to!
http://poll.pollcode.com/nu9y

Facebook Page + App
https://www.facebook.com/GoogolGLadosSimulator
------------------

http://www.hakobaito.co.uk

more » « less
Video Language:
English, British
Duration:
05:52
Amara Bot edited English subtitles for Googol GLaDOS 2.0
Amara Bot added a translation

English subtitles

Revisions