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Closed Captions by Teacher Luis Enriquez
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[MUSIC]
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[CRYING]
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MAJOR MONOGRAM: Ooh, ooh, oh, get it off!
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G-Get it off!
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Ooh!
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Sorry Agent P, just walked through a spiderweb.
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Don't you just hate that?
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Ya spend the rest of the day worried there's a spider on ya.
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[SHUDDERS]
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Gives me the willies.
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Anyhoo, our sources tell us there's a cowboy hat in front of Doof's building.
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Normally, that wouldn't be of any interest to us.
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Because is the week of the Danville Hootenanny.
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But it is a rather large hat and in spite of its name the Danville Hootenanny is a dignified affair.
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I wish I had more information but Carl said there was a big bee by the surveillance equipment.
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So get out there, Agent P!
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Ooh! Carl, is there...is there a spider on my head?
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CARL: No, sir. There's no spider...on your head.
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♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Uh, Perry the Platypus.
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I bet you're wondering why I'm cowering outside my lab.
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Well, day started like any other day.
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You know, How am I going to take over the Tri-State Area?
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But I suddenly remembered a movie that I've seen long ago at a drive-in.
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It was called Night of the Felis.
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I knew right away that the old masters were onto something.
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Imagine taking something cute and enlargening it to frightening proportions.
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Brilliant!
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[GROWLING]
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But in order to take over the Tri-State Area.
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I had to study with some other types of small animals.
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Preferably, something that could fly.
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And I vowed to get right to work...
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as soon as the movie was over.
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The first thing I needed to do was create an inator that would make things larger.
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Eh?
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I tried it out on my cowboy hat.
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It was a success!
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My 10 gallon hat had turned into a 2,000 gallon hat!
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Whoa!
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Well, that's the end of that hat.
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Next, I had to genetically modify a mouse so it could fly.
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[SQUEAKS]
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Ow!
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Then I decided it would be easier to just use a bat.
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So I ordered a retired stunt-bat from a low-budget bat circus that had recently gone belly up.
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You know...the economy.
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I was on the precipice of Tri-State Area domination.
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At last, I had the ultimate creepy soldier!
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[SQUEAKS]
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And then I remembered, I had a very mild phobia of bats.
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[SQUEAKS]
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Aaaah! Get away, get away, get away!
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I also had a mild phobia of shellfish.
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WAITRESS: Here's your order, sir.
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Aaaah! Get away, get away, get away!
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But bats are worse.
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Scram, you flying gerbil!
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[SQUEAKS]
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Amscray!
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[SQUEAKS]
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You're making me miss the hootenanny!
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[SQUEAKS]
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NORM: Sir, I found your radio.
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It was embedded in the dashboard of your car.
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Norm, don't just stand there!
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Do something about this bat!
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Really?
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That's your solution?
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Throw a radio at it?
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Whoa whoa!
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Don't throw that!
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That's imitatable.
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NORM: What if I hit it with this?
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: No no wait!
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Don't shoot it with that! That's my...
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And I thought the bat was scary before when he was...tiny.
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[SQUEAKS]
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It was at that point that Norm and I decided to come out here.
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Plus the bat kinda looks like my cousin Narthelliot, which as you can imagine is weird for me.
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Is not about right, Norm?
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NORM: It's even more horrible than it looks!
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Thank you for the blanket, Perry the Platypus.
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VANESSA: Dad?
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Vanessa? Oh, no! Vanessa, get out of there!
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'Cause there's a huge bat on the loose!
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VANESSA: Really?
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[SQUEAKS]
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VANESSA: Wow, cool! It looks like your cousin Narthelliot.
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: No sudden movements or loud noises, Vanessa!
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VANESSA: Dad, relax. It's just a bat. They just eat bugs.
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: But it's a very big bat!
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VANESSA: Now, come on. J-Just stand up. It's okay.
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It's time to face your fear.
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Well, okay.
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VANESSA: No no no! Bad bat! Spit him out!!
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Oh, gross!
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[SCREAMS]
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[SQUEAKS]
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Oh, yeah, this is much better!
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VANESSA: Dad!! Oh, hey, Perry. I was wondering if you could help me.
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Thanks Perry!
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You're a peach.
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NARTHELLIOT: So, what'd I miss?
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VANESSA: Oh, hey, Narthelliot! We were just talking about you.
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[SQUEAKS]
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Whoa! Oh, I get it!
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This is what it does!
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Flying through a hoop!
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That's what I get...
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For buying a bat...
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From a defunct...
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bat circus!
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Oh no! Oh no no no! Not again!
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[BANG]
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Ow, my head!
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[BANG]
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Ow, my head again!
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[BANG]
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Ow! Now I forgot math!
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[BANG]
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Ow! There goes social studies!
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[BANG]
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Oh, good, they're back!
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CANDANCE: This way, Mom!
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Just see yourself!
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LINDA: Oh, wow! It's our house!
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[SCREAMS]
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Perry the Platypus, welcome to St. Louis!
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Now do something about this bat, please!
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[SHOOTING]
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[SQUEAKS]
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Aah!
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Well, at least I lost my fear of bats!
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WAITRESS: Oh, it's you again.
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DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Aaaah!
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Go away, go away, go away!
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WAITRESS: Oh, just stop it.
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Closed Captions by Teacher Luis Enriquez