Closed Captions by Teacher Luis Enriquez
[MUSIC]
[CRYING]
MAJOR MONOGRAM: Ooh, ooh, oh, get it off!
G-Get it off!
Ooh!
Sorry Agent P, just walked through a spiderweb.
Don't you just hate that?
Ya spend the rest of the day worried there's a spider on ya.
[SHUDDERS]
Gives me the willies.
Anyhoo, our sources tell us there's a cowboy hat in front of Doof's building.
Normally, that wouldn't be of any interest to us.
Because is the week of the Danville Hootenanny.
But it is a rather large hat and in spite of its name the Danville Hootenanny is a dignified affair.
I wish I had more information but Carl said there was a big bee by the surveillance equipment.
So get out there, Agent P!
Ooh! Carl, is there...is there a spider on my head?
CARL: No, sir. There's no spider...on your head.
♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Uh, Perry the Platypus.
I bet you're wondering why I'm cowering outside my lab.
Well, day started like any other day.
You know, How am I going to take over the Tri-State Area?
But I suddenly remembered a movie that I've seen long ago at a drive-in.
It was called Night of the Felis.
I knew right away that the old masters were onto something.
Imagine taking something cute and enlargening it to frightening proportions.
Brilliant!
[GROWLING]
But in order to take over the Tri-State Area.
I had to study with some other types of small animals.
Preferably, something that could fly.
And I vowed to get right to work...
as soon as the movie was over.
The first thing I needed to do was create an inator that would make things larger.
Eh?
I tried it out on my cowboy hat.
It was a success!
My 10 gallon hat had turned into a 2,000 gallon hat!
Whoa!
Well, that's the end of that hat.
Next, I had to genetically modify a mouse so it could fly.
[SQUEAKS]
Ow!
Then I decided it would be easier to just use a bat.
So I ordered a retired stunt-bat from a low-budget bat circus that had recently gone belly up.
You know...the economy.
I was on the precipice of Tri-State Area domination.
At last, I had the ultimate creepy soldier!
[SQUEAKS]
And then I remembered, I had a very mild phobia of bats.
[SQUEAKS]
Aaaah! Get away, get away, get away!
I also had a mild phobia of shellfish.
WAITRESS: Here's your order, sir.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Aaaah! Get away, get away, get away!
But bats are worse.
Scram, you flying gerbil!
[SQUEAKS]
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Amscray!
[SQUEAKS]
You're making me miss the hootenanny!
[SQUEAKS]
NORM: Sir, I found your radio.
It was embedded in the dashboard of your car.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Norm, don't just stand there!
Do something about this bat!
Really?
That's your solution?
Throw a radio at it?
Whoa whoa!
Don't throw that!
That's imitatable.
NORM: What if I hit it with this?
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: No no wait!
Don't shoot it with that! That's my...
And I thought the bat was scary before when he was...tiny.
[SQUEAKS]
It was at that point that Norm and I decided to come out here.
Plus the bat kinda looks like my cousin Narthelliot, which as you can imagine is weird for me.
Is not about right, Norm?
NORM: It's even more horrible than it looks!
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Thank you for the blanket, Perry the Platypus.
VANESSA: Dad?
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Vanessa? Oh, no! Vanessa, get out of there!
'Cause there's a huge bat on the loose!
VANESSA: Really?
[SQUEAKS]
VANESSA: Wow, cool! It looks like your cousin Narthelliot.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: No sudden movements or loud noises, Vanessa!
VANESSA: Dad, relax. It's just a bat. They just eat bugs.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: But it's a very big bat!
VANESSA: Now, come on. J-Just stand up. It's okay.
It's time to face your fear.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Well, okay.
VANESSA: No no no! Bad bat! Spit him out!!
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Oh, gross!
[SCREAMS]
[SQUEAKS]
Oh, yeah, this is much better!
VANESSA: Dad!! Oh, hey, Perry. I was wondering if you could help me.
Thanks Perry!
You're a peach.
NARTHELLIOT: So, what'd I miss?
VANESSA: Oh, hey, Narthelliot! We were just talking about you.
[SQUEAKS]
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Whoa! Oh, I get it!
This is what it does!
Flying through a hoop!
That's what I get...
For buying a bat...
From a defunct...
bat circus!
Oh no! Oh no no no! Not again!
[BANG]
Ow, my head!
[BANG]
Ow, my head again!
[BANG]
Ow! Now I forgot math!
[BANG]
Ow! There goes social studies!
[BANG]
Oh, good, they're back!
CANDANCE: This way, Mom!
Just see yourself!
LINDA: Oh, wow! It's our house!
[SCREAMS]
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Perry the Platypus, welcome to St. Louis!
Now do something about this bat, please!
[SHOOTING]
[SQUEAKS]
Aah!
Well, at least I lost my fear of bats!
WAITRESS: Oh, it's you again.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Aaaah!
Go away, go away, go away!
WAITRESS: Oh, just stop it.
Closed Captions by Teacher Luis Enriquez