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(light music)
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- Alright, here is
our Lady Talk number two.
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And I'm here
with my friend Hilah.
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Hey Hilah.
- Hi.
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- And thank you for
joining me on your couch
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for our lady chat.
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These are casual, real talks,
woman to woman.
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And for this
particular conversation,
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we're gonna focus
on labor and delivery.
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More importantly,
and quite specifically,
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Hilah and I were talking about,
you know, like,
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what we really
just wish someone would
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get right to the point about.
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And that is
dealing with the pain.
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And I feel like a lot of times
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in prenatal yoga we
don't say dealing with the pain
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because we're like, oh that
has a negative connotation.
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- Let's not say the word pain.
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- Yeah, or let's not say
dealing because we're embracing
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and we're coping and yes, and
yes, and yes, and yes
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it's okay to talk about, like,
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this is why I love these chats,
it's like real talk.
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You know you and
I have communicated
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and recently you had
emailed me like a short list
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of things that
have been on your mind
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and that we can talk about.
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And, you know, tools for dealing
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with the pain is on that list.
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And it's on every woman's list.
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So, I thought we
might just, kind of,
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go through some of the yoga
tools, prenatal yoga tools.
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And then I'm curious to see
what other things you've learned
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in your birthing class thus far.
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Or maybe from other
women or your mother.
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And then, you know, we might
even come up with our own.
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Or we might
inspire women watching
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to formulate their
own plans of attack.
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To deal with the pain, or cope
with the pain, or embrace.
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- Whatever.
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- So I was just gonna
start off with, kind of,
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the big picture, which
I think is really actually
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a powerful tool on that is,
of course, the mind.
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And I don't wanna
get all crazy, you know,
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crunchy yoga on you, but man,
I mean, we know this
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and we've talked
about this before.
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- Yeah, it's a real thing.
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- The mind is such an amazing
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and scary, powerful tool.
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Pregnant or not pregnant,
you know.
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- Oh yeah, you
can convince yourself
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of all kinds of things.
- Yeah.
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Totally, trust us.
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- Good or bad.
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- It's totally okay to do.
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(laughing)
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Oh, so yeah, any
thoughts on that?
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Just about your experience
thus far and, kind of like,
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noticing when your mind,
like mind over matter.
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I don't think we
necessarily even have
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to talk about all
the positive things.
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I mean share whatever
you're willing to share, but,
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you know, it's real talk,
like noticing,
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you know, when the
mind gets the best of you.
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And noticing when you can
also, perhaps use the breath
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and just slowing
things down to
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relieve that crazy,
monkey mind anxiety.
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(Hilah laughs)
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I'm sure is coming
out more and more
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as you approach your due date.
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- Yeah.
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- I mean I don't know,
but I can assume.
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- No, yeah, it definitely is,
yeah I definitely get
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a lot of, well and
I think it's probably
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because physically
the lungs are collapsed
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and squished outward, so like,
deep breathing
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is actually really,
really relaxing.
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And it might be partly
because you are concentrating
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on something
besides whatever your brain
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is telling you
to concentrate on.
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It's just something
else to focus on.
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But also, you're physically,
it's getting like
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this influx of oxygen and
it's like, so your muscles
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are able to kind of
relax a little bit maybe.
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- Mhmmm.
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- So I definitely,
definitely notice benefits
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from just doing
some heavy breathing.
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- Yeah, so the breath
is like the number one tool
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that in my
training, you know, like,
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and we've talked about
this through our practice
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and I've just, kind of, coined
it as breath over asana.
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And so that the breath is,
kind of like,
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the number one
coin in your pocket
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when you enter
the delivery room.
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- Yeah.
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- And a friend of me
taught me this cool thing
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where, 'cause I was trying to,
like, find things
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that the everyday woman,
or just like,
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that we could attach to.
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Or that we can like giggle at.
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And one thing that I
remembered her telling me,
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that I love was very simple,
you think,
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so kind of going along
those mantra lines too.
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You think re as you breathe
in, and lax as you breathe out.
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Just relax, you know.
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So it's kind of
hard to say out loud,
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it sounds kind of cheesy.
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But in your mind,
you know, if you close
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your eyes you can try it,
and just think re
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as you breathe in, and
lax as you breathe out.
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And it did have this really
calming effect over the mind.
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I mean it seems so obvious,
but I mean,
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it was like, it worked!
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You know?
- Yeah, yeah.
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- And I think
that anything rhythmic,
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I mean we talked about
this in the birthing classes
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and it's kind of like the
doula's job is to keep--
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- Reminding you to
stay on this rhythm.
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- On this rhythm as
opposed to letting that mind,
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you know because
ultimately the mind
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is so frickin' powerful.
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So using the
rhythm of the breath
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and the rhythm of mantra too.
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Yeah, just keep that.
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- Something else
that helps me sometimes,
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not specifically
with being pregnant,
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but the relax
just reminded me of it,
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is, like, picturing
the breath in my nose,
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down through the
lungs and then back out.
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- Awesome.
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Which totally brings us to the
next topic of visualization.
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Which can be
a big turn off, like,
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if you're reading in a book,
I mean, I'm just being real.
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For a lot of women
it's enticing and for a lot
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of women it's like,
you kind of skip past that.
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- Yeah, I'm generally
a skipper of that.
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- So, but I'm here to say,
hold on,
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let's see if we
if we can use it.
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Because that is, you know,
you might not
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be visualizing your cervix
opening like a blossoming flower
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but you're gonna allow release
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of the cervix
to open, open, open
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if you're focusing on a
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visualization that
works for you.
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So--
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- No, but that's
actually a great point,
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visualizing the cervix--
- Yeah that's how you tell
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you're getting warm.
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- At the birthing class, yeah.
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Well in the birthing class she
kind of suggested visualize
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an easy birth, like
visualize the baby coming out.
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And it reminded me, too,
of like whenever we used
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to choreograph dances
and I would visualize,
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I would just spend a lot
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of time visualizing
myself doing it, awesomely.
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- Yeah.
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- Like, totally
kicking ass at that dance.
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- Yeah.
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- And then when I'd
go do it the next day,
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I would actually be better.
- Yeah.
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And this is like, so
awesome and beautiful to me
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because, like,
this is how I was raised
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and this is also how
I like still run my life now.
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It's kind of like
if you visualize it.
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If you dream it, it will come.
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And even as a young person,
like applying
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to colleges, or, you know,
I'm an actor,
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like getting
roles back in the day.
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Like, you know,
my Mom always said,
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and I still give my
actor friends this advice,
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like imagine,
when you go in there,
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like imagine you've already
got the role, like imagine it.
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And in my classes now, when
I teach public yoga classes,
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often when we
set our intentions.
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I kind of ask people
to repeat their intention.
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And then I'm like,
consider it already done.
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In fact imagine
what it feels like
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to have it already done,
already so.
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And this goes back to, like,
the power of the mind.
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You know and when I
worked at a high school,
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I would share it
with the kids too.
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I'm like well you
keep telling me, you know,
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if you keep saying
I'm fat, I'm ugly, like,
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now we're all startin'
to see you as fat and ugly
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and you're
beautiful, you know, so--
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- Yeah.
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- So anyway, getting back to--
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- My cervix.
- You.
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(both laughing)
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And your cervix, yeah,
I think the power
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of visualization
should not be written off.
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This is ultimately
the power of the mind,
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the power of word,
the power of thought.
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And we don't have to wait 'til,
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in fact we should
not wait until D-day
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to start tryin' to dream up,
what's my affirmation,
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what's my mantra,
what's my visual?
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Like, start to get
those thoughts percolating now
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because then it'll be easier.
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And maybe talk to your partner
about what that could be.
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Even if you guys do it
over a laugh, over dinner.
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- Yeah we actually
did the other day, like,
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practice sort of
like labor drill.
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Like, okay what's
gonna happen if, you know.
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- Only you guys would
call it labor drill, I love it.
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- What happens
if my water breaks
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while we're watching a movie?
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Do we finish the movie, do we
call the doctor right away?
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- Yeah.
(Hilah laughs)
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A we finish the movie,
B we call the doctor.
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Roll the dice, no.
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(Hilah laughs)
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- But stuff like that
actually does help you
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be prepared when the time comes
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and you might be like panicking
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or like forgetting
what you meant to be doing.
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Like if you've practiced the
doing those breathing exercises
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then when the time comes and
you're like really hurting,
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it's almost like muscle
memory that you can depend on.
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- Yeah, and
you're not searching for--
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- What do I do?
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How do I fix this?
- Lost items in the moment.
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- [Both] Yeah.
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- You have this nice little,
comfy, you know, tool belt.
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And your partner can
help you with that too.
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I'm gonna talk
about that more later.
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But I mean, when your mind
goes, when your mind starts
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to take off, then
hopefully they can
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be there to remind you, like,
of all these beautiful tools
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that we've been
puttin' in the box.
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- Right.
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- Going back to the
blossoming flower image
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of the cervix though,
I think that a lot of women,
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and I'm curious
your thoughts on this,
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have said that they
will, like, they will
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of like not paid
attention to affirmations,
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like open, open, open,
and then end up
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in the delivery
room totally doing
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what they thought
they wouldn't, you know.
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- Mhmmm.
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- So, might as well
embrace it early on.
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'Cause it's gonna happen,
you're gonna want those things
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and so that was just one
that I kept hearing about
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was simply the word open,
you know, like the repetition--
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- Yeah, open and relax.
- of open, open, open.
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- Yeah.
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- In a previous chat
we talked about, you know,
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building those muscles so
that we can stay vertical.
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I mean that's
kind of another chat,
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but if you are
able to get vertical
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for some of the time.
- Contractions and stuff.
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- Then obviously
that's going to relieve
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a little bit of
pain and probably reduce
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the time of your labor.
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- Focusing on an item,
some people recommend, like,
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you bring something
to the hospital with you,
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like a painting or
a plant or something.
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So you have something
to focus your eyes on.
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- Oh I love that!
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- My mom said, for her, both
times, she found it much easier
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to close her eyes and breathe.
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And like having her eyes open
was more of a distraction.
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- Too much.
- Yeah.
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- That sounds like me.
- Which, I know me too.
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I'm like, I feel
like when I close my eyes
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and just
picture whatever I want.
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Even if it's just my
stupid breath going in and out.
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- Yeah.
- But like--
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- Well and also
it's easier to go inward,
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especially in this day in age
when we kind of close the eyes.
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But have it all,
let's be ready girl.
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Let's, yeah.
- Yeah.
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- Let's have
something you can put
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on the wall, just in case.
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(laughing)
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- But yeah, especially 'cause
we're doin' a hospital birth,
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I can you know, and
they've said, there's gonna
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be several people in the room,
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you probably
don't know any of 'em.
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So, like, there's a lot of,
maybe there's
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a lot of
commotion compared to like
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a home birth or
a birthing center.
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So, yeah I could see it.
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I think I probably will just
wanna close my eyes and go in.
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- I'm curious, if you
don't mind me asking,
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what was the conversation
like with you and Chris
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when you were
considering what kind
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of birth we're gonna have.
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- Oh, that was not, I always
wanted to do it in a hospital.
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Just 'cause all the women I know
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that did either
birthing center or home birth,
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like half of them ended up
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emergency trip--
- At the hospital?
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- To the hospital.
(laughing)
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I'm like, let's just
start at the hospital.
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I think if I had like one good
natural birth under my belt,
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I would
definitely consider doing
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a home birth or a birthing
center for a future child.
-
- Mhmmm.
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- Like once I'm like alright,
I got this.
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I know what to expect
and my body's done it once
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and it's been fine.
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- Yeah, that's cool.
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I'm always
fascinated by that conversation.
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Because I haven't done that yet,
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and you kind of always,
well every woman's different,
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but me personally,
I have no idea.
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Like, I like to
imagine this one thing.
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But I just know
when that time comes,
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if that time comes
that I'll know then,
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you know, like,
there's no way of knowing now.
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So, and maybe this project too,
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will inspire cool
conversations among women.
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- It's definitely
worth a conversation.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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- Well that's awesome.
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So going back, really quickly,
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to the topic of
dealing with the pain.
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Another thing that
we probably all know,
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but it's worth mentioning just
in case is applying warmth.
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And we can talk about that
more when we talk about Chris.
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- And what his job's gonna be.
- What he needs to do.
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- Get to work.
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- I mean I think that's
a really big one for pain
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and it's such a simple thing.
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A friend of mine was
telling me about a wheat,
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was it wheat germ,
or a wheat bag?
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- Oh rice, you can do
it with rice, dry rice.
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- Yeah, you like heat it up and
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it's nice and firm and hey-oh.
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- Yeah, and even heat and it
holds heat for a long time.
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- Yeah and so that's also for,
of course,
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lower back, for anything back.
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- Mhmmm.
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- A hot, the shower,
warm shower.
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Have they talked about
that in your birthing class?
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I'm just curious.
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- They've mentioned like the--
- Water.
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- water bath, like the
water birth, where they do it.
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- Yeah, and the warm pool, yeah.
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There are a lot of
awesome statistics about women
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and just body and pain.
- Very relaxing,
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like it's gonna
relax your muscles.
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- Yeah, I mean, I can imagine.
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- And like if you can
relax all these muscles
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to just let that baby
out then it'd be better.
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- In a warm bath.
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- [Both] Yeah.
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- That's fascinating to me too.
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But if you're not
doing the birthing pool
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then yeah, warm wheat bag.
- Compresses, yeah.
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- Hot water bottle, or bag.
- Warm wash cloth.
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- Mhmmm.
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And then massage.
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- Yes.
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- So massaging the back,
we don't have
-
to get into this,
but there's all kinds
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of awesome massages,
even massages more like
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in the perineum and like pre,
you know before you're
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in the delivery room,
kind of massaging
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and stretching those muscles.
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Now we're gettin' real deep.
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- This, when I, I
realized this by accident maybe
-
a month ago, but
like these underneath, ah,
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that feels so good, to just
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like gently--
- That's funny that looks good.
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- Just kind of like rub those
little muscles under there.
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'Cause I guess
the ones on the bottom
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are probably the
ones that are getting
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the most workout,
like having to hold.
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- Mhmmm.
- This fat, chubby, baby.
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- Yeah.
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- But man, yeah it's really,
it feels good.
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- And so that's something that,
you know,
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your partner can do
but that's really something
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that I think you can
do as a way of connecting
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to yourself and if you're,
you know, lying on the couch,
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or you're feeling anxiety,
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or you can start givin'
yourself a nice little rub.
-
- Mhmmm.
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- I actually, this is
not prenatal yoga topic.
-
But I cracked my tail
bone a couple years back,
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I don't know if you
remember that, it was awful.
-
- Yeah.
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- And it was odd,
and it was weird,
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it was vulnerable obviously,
like my coccyx
-
and my butt hole essentially.
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(Hilah laughs)
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You know, but it got, all that
muscle tissue got so tight
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around the
perineum and all like,
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even around like
even the vaginal area.
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That I mean
I was just like, I had,
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I don't even need to explain,
I'm not even embarrassed
-
about it anymore, but I
just had such trouble there
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for like a whole year,
year and a half.
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And ultimately
what ended up working
-
the best was
getting body work there.
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Which was like, oh god,
you know,
-
like hey come rub my--
- Can you rub my butt?
-
- You know,
you're not my partner
-
and I am not pregnant,
but do you mind?
-
(Hilah laughs)
-
- But it really, like,
tipped me off to something.
-
Like, oh yeah, like,
just because those are,
-
especially in our culture
muscles that are--
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- Your dirty muscles.
-
- Yeah, your dirty,
like man we need
-
to apply some love there.
-
So, you know some women might,
excuse me, feel like
-
that's distasteful,
but I think that,
-
we don't have to
talk about it now,
-
but it's worth researching,
-
kind of perineum massage
-
and vagina massage.
(both laughing)
-
Hey-oh.
-
- And then just
going back to the breath,
-
since we're talking
about dealing with the pain.
-
Like, breath,
rhythmic breathing,
-
that relax breath,
visualizing the breath.
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And knowing that
breath and massage
-
is gonna release the
natural pain killers too.
-
- Right, right.
-
- And that's not to
be forgotten, I think.
-
Alright, well that's
all for the dealing with
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the pain chat today,
unless you have anything else
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on your mind, my friend.
-
- I'll probably have some
great ideas after I've done it.
-
- Yeah.
(both laughing)
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Stay tuned, right
now we're promoting
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our "post" videos, already.
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Anyway, I love you so much.
- I love you.
-
- Thank you.
-
Namaste.
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(light music)