(light music)
- Alright, here is our Lady Talk number two.
And I'm here with my friend Hilah.
Hey Hilah. - Hi.
- And thank you for joining me on your couch
for our lady chat.
These are casual, real talks, woman to woman.
And for this particular conversation,
we're gonna focus on labor and delivery.
More importantly, and quite specifically,
Hilah and I were talking about, you know, like,
what we really just wish someone would
get right to the point about.
And that is dealing with the pain.
And I feel like a lot of times
in prenatal yoga we don't say dealing with the pain
because we're like, oh that has a negative connotation.
- Let's not say the word pain.
- Yeah, or let's not say dealing because we're embracing
and we're coping and yes, and yes, and yes, and yes
it's okay to talk about, like,
this is why I love these chats, it's like real talk.
You know you and I have communicated
and recently you had emailed me like a short list
of things that have been on your mind
and that we can talk about.
And, you know, tools for dealing
with the pain is on that list.
And it's on every woman's list.
So, I thought we might just, kind of,
go through some of the yoga tools, prenatal yoga tools.
And then I'm curious to see what other things you've learned
in your birthing class thus far.
Or maybe from other women or your mother.
And then, you know, we might even come up with our own.
Or we might inspire women watching
to formulate their own plans of attack.
To deal with the pain, or cope with the pain, or embrace.
- Whatever.
- So I was just gonna start off with, kind of,
the big picture, which I think is really actually
a powerful tool on that is, of course, the mind.
And I don't wanna get all crazy, you know,
crunchy yoga on you, but man, I mean, we know this
and we've talked about this before.
- Yeah, it's a real thing.
- The mind is such an amazing
and scary, powerful tool.
Pregnant or not pregnant, you know.
- Oh yeah, you can convince yourself
of all kinds of things. - Yeah.
Totally, trust us.
- Good or bad.
- It's totally okay to do.
(laughing)
Oh, so yeah, any thoughts on that?
Just about your experience thus far and, kind of like,
noticing when your mind, like mind over matter.
I don't think we necessarily even have
to talk about all the positive things.
I mean share whatever you're willing to share, but,
you know, it's real talk, like noticing,
you know, when the mind gets the best of you.
And noticing when you can also, perhaps use the breath
and just slowing things down to
relieve that crazy, monkey mind anxiety.
(Hilah laughs)
I'm sure is coming out more and more
as you approach your due date.
- Yeah.
- I mean I don't know, but I can assume.
- No, yeah, it definitely is, yeah I definitely get
a lot of, well and I think it's probably
because physically the lungs are collapsed
and squished outward, so like, deep breathing
is actually really, really relaxing.
And it might be partly because you are concentrating
on something besides whatever your brain
is telling you to concentrate on.
It's just something else to focus on.
But also, you're physically, it's getting like
this influx of oxygen and it's like, so your muscles
are able to kind of relax a little bit maybe.
- Mhmmm.
- So I definitely, definitely notice benefits
from just doing some heavy breathing.
- Yeah, so the breath is like the number one tool
that in my training, you know, like,
and we've talked about this through our practice
and I've just, kind of, coined it as breath over asana.
And so that the breath is, kind of like,
the number one coin in your pocket
when you enter the delivery room.
- Yeah.
- And a friend of me taught me this cool thing
where, 'cause I was trying to, like, find things
that the everyday woman, or just like,
that we could attach to.
Or that we can like giggle at.
And one thing that I remembered her telling me,
that I love was very simple, you think,
so kind of going along those mantra lines too.
You think re as you breathe in, and lax as you breathe out.
Just relax, you know.
So it's kind of hard to say out loud,
it sounds kind of cheesy.
But in your mind, you know, if you close
your eyes you can try it, and just think re
as you breathe in, and lax as you breathe out.
And it did have this really calming effect over the mind.
I mean it seems so obvious, but I mean,
it was like, it worked!
You know? - Yeah, yeah.
- And I think that anything rhythmic,
I mean we talked about this in the birthing classes
and it's kind of like the doula's job is to keep--
- Reminding you to stay on this rhythm.
- On this rhythm as opposed to letting that mind,
you know because ultimately the mind
is so frickin' powerful.
So using the rhythm of the breath
and the rhythm of mantra too.
Yeah, just keep that.
- Something else that helps me sometimes,
not specifically with being pregnant,
but the relax just reminded me of it,
is, like, picturing the breath in my nose,
down through the lungs and then back out.
- Awesome.
Which totally brings us to the next topic of visualization.
Which can be a big turn off, like,
if you're reading in a book, I mean, I'm just being real.
For a lot of women it's enticing and for a lot
of women it's like, you kind of skip past that.
- Yeah, I'm generally a skipper of that.
- So, but I'm here to say, hold on,
let's see if we if we can use it.
Because that is, you know, you might not
be visualizing your cervix opening like a blossoming flower
but you're gonna allow release
of the cervix to open, open, open
if you're focusing on a
visualization that works for you.
So--
- No, but that's actually a great point,
visualizing the cervix-- - Yeah that's how you tell
you're getting warm.
- At the birthing class, yeah.
Well in the birthing class she kind of suggested visualize
an easy birth, like visualize the baby coming out.
And it reminded me, too, of like whenever we used
to choreograph dances and I would visualize,
I would just spend a lot
of time visualizing myself doing it, awesomely.
- Yeah.
- Like, totally kicking ass at that dance.
- Yeah.
- And then when I'd go do it the next day,
I would actually be better. - Yeah.
And this is like, so awesome and beautiful to me
because, like, this is how I was raised
and this is also how I like still run my life now.
It's kind of like if you visualize it.
If you dream it, it will come.
And even as a young person, like applying
to colleges, or, you know, I'm an actor,
like getting roles back in the day.
Like, you know, my Mom always said,
and I still give my actor friends this advice,
like imagine, when you go in there,
like imagine you've already got the role, like imagine it.
And in my classes now, when I teach public yoga classes,
often when we set our intentions.
I kind of ask people to repeat their intention.
And then I'm like, consider it already done.
In fact imagine what it feels like
to have it already done, already so.
And this goes back to, like, the power of the mind.
You know and when I worked at a high school,
I would share it with the kids too.
I'm like well you keep telling me, you know,
if you keep saying I'm fat, I'm ugly, like,
now we're all startin' to see you as fat and ugly
and you're beautiful, you know, so--
- Yeah.
- So anyway, getting back to--
- My cervix. - You.
(both laughing)
And your cervix, yeah, I think the power
of visualization should not be written off.
This is ultimately the power of the mind,
the power of word, the power of thought.
And we don't have to wait 'til,
in fact we should not wait until D-day
to start tryin' to dream up, what's my affirmation,
what's my mantra, what's my visual?
Like, start to get those thoughts percolating now
because then it'll be easier.
And maybe talk to your partner about what that could be.
Even if you guys do it over a laugh, over dinner.
- Yeah we actually did the other day, like,
practice sort of like labor drill.
Like, okay what's gonna happen if, you know.
- Only you guys would call it labor drill, I love it.
- What happens if my water breaks
while we're watching a movie?
Do we finish the movie, do we call the doctor right away?
- Yeah. (Hilah laughs)
A we finish the movie, B we call the doctor.
Roll the dice, no.
(Hilah laughs)
- But stuff like that actually does help you
be prepared when the time comes
and you might be like panicking
or like forgetting what you meant to be doing.
Like if you've practiced the doing those breathing exercises
then when the time comes and you're like really hurting,
it's almost like muscle memory that you can depend on.
- Yeah, and you're not searching for--
- What do I do?
How do I fix this? - Lost items in the moment.
- [Both] Yeah.
- You have this nice little, comfy, you know, tool belt.
And your partner can help you with that too.
I'm gonna talk about that more later.
But I mean, when your mind goes, when your mind starts
to take off, then hopefully they can
be there to remind you, like, of all these beautiful tools
that we've been puttin' in the box.
- Right.
- Going back to the blossoming flower image
of the cervix though, I think that a lot of women,
and I'm curious your thoughts on this,
have said that they will, like, they will
of like not paid attention to affirmations,
like open, open, open, and then end up
in the delivery room totally doing
what they thought they wouldn't, you know.
- Mhmmm.
- So, might as well embrace it early on.
'Cause it's gonna happen, you're gonna want those things
and so that was just one that I kept hearing about
was simply the word open, you know, like the repetition--
- Yeah, open and relax. - of open, open, open.
- Yeah.
- In a previous chat we talked about, you know,
building those muscles so that we can stay vertical.
I mean that's kind of another chat,
but if you are able to get vertical
for some of the time. - Contractions and stuff.
- Then obviously that's going to relieve
a little bit of pain and probably reduce
the time of your labor.
- Focusing on an item, some people recommend, like,
you bring something to the hospital with you,
like a painting or a plant or something.
So you have something to focus your eyes on.
- Oh I love that!
- My mom said, for her, both times, she found it much easier
to close her eyes and breathe.
And like having her eyes open was more of a distraction.
- Too much. - Yeah.
- That sounds like me. - Which, I know me too.
I'm like, I feel like when I close my eyes
and just picture whatever I want.
Even if it's just my stupid breath going in and out.
- Yeah. - But like--
- Well and also it's easier to go inward,
especially in this day in age when we kind of close the eyes.
But have it all, let's be ready girl.
Let's, yeah. - Yeah.
- Let's have something you can put
on the wall, just in case.
(laughing)
- But yeah, especially 'cause we're doin' a hospital birth,
I can you know, and they've said, there's gonna
be several people in the room,
you probably don't know any of 'em.
So, like, there's a lot of, maybe there's
a lot of commotion compared to like
a home birth or a birthing center.
So, yeah I could see it.
I think I probably will just wanna close my eyes and go in.
- I'm curious, if you don't mind me asking,
what was the conversation like with you and Chris
when you were considering what kind
of birth we're gonna have.
- Oh, that was not, I always wanted to do it in a hospital.
Just 'cause all the women I know
that did either birthing center or home birth,
like half of them ended up
emergency trip-- - At the hospital?
- To the hospital. (laughing)
I'm like, let's just start at the hospital.
I think if I had like one good natural birth under my belt,
I would definitely consider doing
a home birth or a birthing center for a future child.
- Mhmmm.
- Like once I'm like alright, I got this.
I know what to expect and my body's done it once
and it's been fine.
- Yeah, that's cool.
I'm always fascinated by that conversation.
Because I haven't done that yet,
and you kind of always, well every woman's different,
but me personally, I have no idea.
Like, I like to imagine this one thing.
But I just know when that time comes,
if that time comes that I'll know then,
you know, like, there's no way of knowing now.
So, and maybe this project too,
will inspire cool conversations among women.
- It's definitely worth a conversation.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Well that's awesome.
So going back, really quickly,
to the topic of dealing with the pain.
Another thing that we probably all know,
but it's worth mentioning just in case is applying warmth.
And we can talk about that more when we talk about Chris.
- And what his job's gonna be. - What he needs to do.
- Get to work.
- I mean I think that's a really big one for pain
and it's such a simple thing.
A friend of mine was telling me about a wheat,
was it wheat germ, or a wheat bag?
- Oh rice, you can do it with rice, dry rice.
- Yeah, you like heat it up and
it's nice and firm and hey-oh.
- Yeah, and even heat and it holds heat for a long time.
- Yeah and so that's also for, of course,
lower back, for anything back.
- Mhmmm.
- A hot, the shower, warm shower.
Have they talked about that in your birthing class?
I'm just curious.
- They've mentioned like the-- - Water.
- water bath, like the water birth, where they do it.
- Yeah, and the warm pool, yeah.
There are a lot of awesome statistics about women
and just body and pain. - Very relaxing,
like it's gonna relax your muscles.
- Yeah, I mean, I can imagine.
- And like if you can relax all these muscles
to just let that baby out then it'd be better.
- In a warm bath.
- [Both] Yeah.
- That's fascinating to me too.
But if you're not doing the birthing pool
then yeah, warm wheat bag. - Compresses, yeah.
- Hot water bottle, or bag. - Warm wash cloth.
- Mhmmm.
And then massage.
- Yes.
- So massaging the back, we don't have
to get into this, but there's all kinds
of awesome massages, even massages more like
in the perineum and like pre, you know before you're
in the delivery room, kind of massaging
and stretching those muscles.
Now we're gettin' real deep.
- This, when I, I realized this by accident maybe
a month ago, but like these underneath, ah,
that feels so good, to just
like gently-- - That's funny that looks good.
- Just kind of like rub those little muscles under there.
'Cause I guess the ones on the bottom
are probably the ones that are getting
the most workout, like having to hold.
- Mhmmm. - This fat, chubby, baby.
- Yeah.
- But man, yeah it's really, it feels good.
- And so that's something that, you know,
your partner can do but that's really something
that I think you can do as a way of connecting
to yourself and if you're, you know, lying on the couch,
or you're feeling anxiety,
or you can start givin' yourself a nice little rub.
- Mhmmm.
- I actually, this is not prenatal yoga topic.
But I cracked my tail bone a couple years back,
I don't know if you remember that, it was awful.
- Yeah.
- And it was odd, and it was weird,
it was vulnerable obviously, like my coccyx
and my butt hole essentially.
(Hilah laughs)
You know, but it got, all that muscle tissue got so tight
around the perineum and all like,
even around like even the vaginal area.
That I mean I was just like, I had,
I don't even need to explain, I'm not even embarrassed
about it anymore, but I just had such trouble there
for like a whole year, year and a half.
And ultimately what ended up working
the best was getting body work there.
Which was like, oh god, you know,
like hey come rub my-- - Can you rub my butt?
- You know, you're not my partner
and I am not pregnant, but do you mind?
(Hilah laughs)
- But it really, like, tipped me off to something.
Like, oh yeah, like, just because those are,
especially in our culture muscles that are--
- Your dirty muscles.
- Yeah, your dirty, like man we need
to apply some love there.
So, you know some women might, excuse me, feel like
that's distasteful, but I think that,
we don't have to talk about it now,
but it's worth researching,
kind of perineum massage
and vagina massage. (both laughing)
Hey-oh.
- And then just going back to the breath,
since we're talking about dealing with the pain.
Like, breath, rhythmic breathing,
that relax breath, visualizing the breath.
And knowing that breath and massage
is gonna release the natural pain killers too.
- Right, right.
- And that's not to be forgotten, I think.
Alright, well that's all for the dealing with
the pain chat today, unless you have anything else
on your mind, my friend.
- I'll probably have some great ideas after I've done it.
- Yeah. (both laughing)
Stay tuned, right now we're promoting
our "post" videos, already.
Anyway, I love you so much. - I love you.
- Thank you.
Namaste.
(light music)