(light music)

- Alright, here is 
our Lady Talk number two.

And I'm here 
with my friend Hilah.

Hey Hilah.
- Hi.

- And thank you for 
joining me on your couch

for our lady chat.

These are casual, real talks,
woman to woman.

And for this 
particular conversation,

we're gonna focus 
on labor and delivery.

More importantly, 
and quite specifically,

Hilah and I were talking about,
you know, like,

what we really 
just wish someone would

get right to the point about.

And that is 
dealing with the pain.

And I feel like a lot of times

in prenatal yoga we 
don't say dealing with the pain

because we're like, oh that
has a negative connotation.

- Let's not say the word pain.

- Yeah, or let's not say
dealing because we're embracing

and we're coping and yes, and
yes, and yes, and yes

it's okay to talk about, like,

this is why I love these chats,
it's like real talk.

You know you and 
I have communicated

and recently you had 
emailed me like a short list

of things that 
have been on your mind

and that we can talk about.

And, you know, tools for dealing

with the pain is on that list.

And it's on every woman's list.

So, I thought we 
might just, kind of,

go through some of the yoga
tools, prenatal yoga tools.

And then I'm curious to see
what other things you've learned

in your birthing class thus far.

Or maybe from other 
women or your mother.

And then, you know, we might
even come up with our own.

Or we might 
inspire women watching

to formulate their 
own plans of attack.

To deal with the pain, or cope
with the pain, or embrace.

- Whatever.

- So I was just gonna 
start off with, kind of,

the big picture, which 
I think is really actually

a powerful tool on that is, 
of course, the mind.

And I don't wanna 
get all crazy, you know,

crunchy yoga on you, but man, 
I mean, we know this

and we've talked 
about this before.

- Yeah, it's a real thing.

- The mind is such an amazing

and scary, powerful tool.

Pregnant or not pregnant,
you know.

- Oh yeah, you 
can convince yourself

of all kinds of things.
- Yeah.

Totally, trust us.

- Good or bad.

- It's totally okay to do.

(laughing)

Oh, so yeah, any 
thoughts on that?

Just about your experience
thus far and, kind of like,

noticing when your mind,
like mind over matter.

I don't think we 
necessarily even have

to talk about all 
the positive things.

I mean share whatever 
you're willing to share, but,

you know, it's real talk,
like noticing,

you know, when the 
mind gets the best of you.

And noticing when you can
also, perhaps use the breath

and just slowing 
things down to

relieve that crazy, 
monkey mind anxiety.

(Hilah laughs)

I'm sure is coming 
out more and more

as you approach your due date.

- Yeah.

- I mean I don't know,
but I can assume.

- No, yeah, it definitely is,
yeah I definitely get

a lot of, well and 
I think it's probably

because physically 
the lungs are collapsed

and squished outward, so like,
deep breathing

is actually really,
really relaxing.

And it might be partly 
because you are concentrating

on something 
besides whatever your brain

is telling you 
to concentrate on.

It's just something 
else to focus on.

But also, you're physically,
it's getting like

this influx of oxygen and 
it's like, so your muscles

are able to kind of 
relax a little bit maybe.

- Mhmmm.

- So I definitely, 
definitely notice benefits

from just doing 
some heavy breathing.

- Yeah, so the breath 
is like the number one tool

that in my 
training, you know, like,

and we've talked about 
this through our practice

and I've just, kind of, coined
it as breath over asana.

And so that the breath is,
kind of like,

the number one 
coin in your pocket

when you enter 
the delivery room.

- Yeah.

- And a friend of me 
taught me this cool thing

where, 'cause I was trying to,
like, find things

that the everyday woman,
or just like,

that we could attach to.

Or that we can like giggle at.

And one thing that I 
remembered her telling me,

that I love was very simple,
you think,

so kind of going along 
those mantra lines too.

You think re as you breathe
in, and lax as you breathe out.

Just relax, you know.

So it's kind of 
hard to say out loud,

it sounds kind of cheesy.

But in your mind, 
you know, if you close

your eyes you can try it,
and just think re

as you breathe in, and 
lax as you breathe out.

And it did have this really
calming effect over the mind.

I mean it seems so obvious,
but I mean,

it was like, it worked!

You know?
- Yeah, yeah.

- And I think 
that anything rhythmic,

I mean we talked about 
this in the birthing classes

and it's kind of like the
doula's job is to keep--

- Reminding you to 
stay on this rhythm.

- On this rhythm as 
opposed to letting that mind,

you know because 
ultimately the mind

is so frickin' powerful.

So using the 
rhythm of the breath

and the rhythm of mantra too.

Yeah, just keep that.

- Something else 
that helps me sometimes,

not specifically 
with being pregnant,

but the relax 
just reminded me of it,

is, like, picturing 
the breath in my nose,

down through the 
lungs and then back out.

- Awesome.

Which totally brings us to the
next topic of visualization.

Which can be 
a big turn off, like,

if you're reading in a book,
I mean, I'm just being real.

For a lot of women 
it's enticing and for a lot

of women it's like, 
you kind of skip past that.

- Yeah, I'm generally 
a skipper of that.

- So, but I'm here to say,
hold on,

let's see if we 
if we can use it.

Because that is, you know,
you might not

be visualizing your cervix
opening like a blossoming flower

but you're gonna allow release

of the cervix 
to open, open, open

if you're focusing on a

visualization that 
works for you.

So--

- No, but that's 
actually a great point,

visualizing the cervix--
- Yeah that's how you tell

you're getting warm.

- At the birthing class, yeah.

Well in the birthing class she
kind of suggested visualize

an easy birth, like 
visualize the baby coming out.

And it reminded me, too,
of like whenever we used

to choreograph dances 
and I would visualize,

I would just spend a lot

of time visualizing 
myself doing it, awesomely.

- Yeah.

- Like, totally 
kicking ass at that dance.

- Yeah.

- And then when I'd 
go do it the next day,

I would actually be better.
- Yeah.

And this is like, so 
awesome and beautiful to me

because, like, 
this is how I was raised

and this is also how 
I like still run my life now.

It's kind of like 
if you visualize it.

If you dream it, it will come.

And even as a young person,
like applying

to colleges, or, you know,
I'm an actor,

like getting 
roles back in the day.

Like, you know, 
my Mom always said,

and I still give my 
actor friends this advice,

like imagine, 
when you go in there,

like imagine you've already
got the role, like imagine it.

And in my classes now, when
I teach public yoga classes,

often when we 
set our intentions.

I kind of ask people 
to repeat their intention.

And then I'm like, 
consider it already done.

In fact imagine 
what it feels like

to have it already done,
already so.

And this goes back to, like,
the power of the mind.

You know and when I 
worked at a high school,

I would share it 
with the kids too.

I'm like well you 
keep telling me, you know,

if you keep saying 
I'm fat, I'm ugly, like,

now we're all startin' 
to see you as fat and ugly

and you're 
beautiful, you know, so--

- Yeah.

- So anyway, getting back to--

- My cervix.
- You.

(both laughing)

And your cervix, yeah,
I think the power

of visualization 
should not be written off.

This is ultimately 
the power of the mind,

the power of word, 
the power of thought.

And we don't have to wait 'til,

in fact we should 
not wait until D-day

to start tryin' to dream up,
what's my affirmation,

what's my mantra,
what's my visual?

Like, start to get 
those thoughts percolating now

because then it'll be easier.

And maybe talk to your partner
about what that could be.

Even if you guys do it 
over a laugh, over dinner.

- Yeah we actually 
did the other day, like,

practice sort of 
like labor drill.

Like, okay what's 
gonna happen if, you know.

- Only you guys would 
call it labor drill, I love it.

- What happens 
if my water breaks

while we're watching a movie?

Do we finish the movie, do we
call the doctor right away?

- Yeah.
(Hilah laughs)

A we finish the movie,
B we call the doctor.

Roll the dice, no.

(Hilah laughs)

- But stuff like that 
actually does help you

be prepared when the time comes

and you might be like panicking

or like forgetting 
what you meant to be doing.

Like if you've practiced the
doing those breathing exercises

then when the time comes and
you're like really hurting,

it's almost like muscle
memory that you can depend on.

- Yeah, and 
you're not searching for--

- What do I do?

How do I fix this?
- Lost items in the moment.

- [Both] Yeah.

- You have this nice little,
comfy, you know, tool belt.

And your partner can 
help you with that too.

I'm gonna talk 
about that more later.

But I mean, when your mind
goes, when your mind starts

to take off, then 
hopefully they can

be there to remind you, like,
of all these beautiful tools

that we've been 
puttin' in the box.

- Right.

- Going back to the 
blossoming flower image

of the cervix though, 
I think that a lot of women,

and I'm curious 
your thoughts on this,

have said that they 
will, like, they will

of like not paid 
attention to affirmations,

like open, open, open,
and then end up

in the delivery 
room totally doing

what they thought 
they wouldn't, you know.

- Mhmmm.

- So, might as well 
embrace it early on.

'Cause it's gonna happen,
you're gonna want those things

and so that was just one 
that I kept hearing about

was simply the word open,
you know, like the repetition--

- Yeah, open and relax.
- of open, open, open.

- Yeah.

- In a previous chat 
we talked about, you know,

building those muscles so 
that we can stay vertical.

I mean that's 
kind of another chat,

but if you are 
able to get vertical

for some of the time.
- Contractions and stuff.

- Then obviously 
that's going to relieve

a little bit of 
pain and probably reduce

the time of your labor.

- Focusing on an item, 
some people recommend, like,

you bring something 
to the hospital with you,

like a painting or 
a plant or something.

So you have something 
to focus your eyes on.

- Oh I love that!

- My mom said, for her, both
times, she found it much easier

to close her eyes and breathe.

And like having her eyes open
was more of a distraction.

- Too much.
- Yeah.

- That sounds like me.
- Which, I know me too.

I'm like, I feel 
like when I close my eyes

and just 
picture whatever I want.

Even if it's just my 
stupid breath going in and out.

- Yeah.
- But like--

- Well and also 
it's easier to go inward,

especially in this day in age
when we kind of close the eyes.

But have it all, 
let's be ready girl.

Let's, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Let's have 
something you can put

on the wall, just in case.

(laughing)

- But yeah, especially 'cause
we're doin' a hospital birth,

I can you know, and 
they've said, there's gonna

be several people in the room,

you probably 
don't know any of 'em.

So, like, there's a lot of,
maybe there's

a lot of 
commotion compared to like

a home birth or 
a birthing center.

So, yeah I could see it.

I think I probably will just
wanna close my eyes and go in.

- I'm curious, if you 
don't mind me asking,

what was the conversation 
like with you and Chris

when you were 
considering what kind

of birth we're gonna have.

- Oh, that was not, I always
wanted to do it in a hospital.

Just 'cause all the women I know

that did either 
birthing center or home birth,

like half of them ended up

emergency trip--
- At the hospital?

- To the hospital.
(laughing)

I'm like, let's just 
start at the hospital.

I think if I had like one good
natural birth under my belt,

I would 
definitely consider doing

a home birth or a birthing 
center for a future child.

- Mhmmm.

- Like once I'm like alright,
I got this.

I know what to expect 
and my body's done it once

and it's been fine.

- Yeah, that's cool.

I'm always 
fascinated by that conversation.

Because I haven't done that yet,

and you kind of always, 
well every woman's different,

but me personally,
I have no idea.

Like, I like to 
imagine this one thing.

But I just know 
when that time comes,

if that time comes 
that I'll know then,

you know, like, 
there's no way of knowing now.

So, and maybe this project too,

will inspire cool 
conversations among women.

- It's definitely 
worth a conversation.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Well that's awesome.

So going back, really quickly,

to the topic of 
dealing with the pain.

Another thing that 
we probably all know,

but it's worth mentioning just
in case is applying warmth.

And we can talk about that
more when we talk about Chris.

- And what his job's gonna be.
- What he needs to do.

- Get to work.

- I mean I think that's 
a really big one for pain

and it's such a simple thing.

A friend of mine was 
telling me about a wheat,

was it wheat germ,
or a wheat bag?

- Oh rice, you can do 
it with rice, dry rice.

- Yeah, you like heat it up and

it's nice and firm and hey-oh.

- Yeah, and even heat and it
holds heat for a long time.

- Yeah and so that's also for,
of course,

lower back, for anything back.

- Mhmmm.

- A hot, the shower,
warm shower.

Have they talked about 
that in your birthing class?

I'm just curious.

- They've mentioned like the--
- Water.

- water bath, like the 
water birth, where they do it.

- Yeah, and the warm pool, yeah.

There are a lot of 
awesome statistics about women

and just body and pain.
- Very relaxing,

like it's gonna 
relax your muscles.

- Yeah, I mean, I can imagine.

- And like if you can 
relax all these muscles

to just let that baby 
out then it'd be better.

- In a warm bath.

- [Both] Yeah.

- That's fascinating to me too.

But if you're not 
doing the birthing pool

then yeah, warm wheat bag.
- Compresses, yeah.

- Hot water bottle, or bag.
- Warm wash cloth.

- Mhmmm.

And then massage.

- Yes.

- So massaging the back,
we don't have

to get into this, 
but there's all kinds

of awesome massages, 
even massages more like

in the perineum and like pre,
you know before you're

in the delivery room,
kind of massaging

and stretching those muscles.

Now we're gettin' real deep.

- This, when I, I 
realized this by accident maybe

a month ago, but 
like these underneath, ah,

that feels so good, to just

like gently--
- That's funny that looks good.

- Just kind of like rub those
little muscles under there.

'Cause I guess 
the ones on the bottom

are probably the 
ones that are getting

the most workout, 
like having to hold.

- Mhmmm.
- This fat, chubby, baby.

- Yeah.

- But man, yeah it's really,
it feels good.

- And so that's something that,
you know,

your partner can do 
but that's really something

that I think you can 
do as a way of connecting

to yourself and if you're,
you know, lying on the couch,

or you're feeling anxiety,

or you can start givin' 
yourself a nice little rub.

- Mhmmm.

- I actually, this is 
not prenatal yoga topic.

But I cracked my tail 
bone a couple years back,

I don't know if you 
remember that, it was awful.

- Yeah.

- And it was odd,
and it was weird,

it was vulnerable obviously,
like my coccyx

and my butt hole essentially.

(Hilah laughs)

You know, but it got, all that
muscle tissue got so tight

around the 
perineum and all like,

even around like 
even the vaginal area.

That I mean 
I was just like, I had,

I don't even need to explain,
I'm not even embarrassed

about it anymore, but I 
just had such trouble there

for like a whole year,
year and a half.

And ultimately 
what ended up working

the best was 
getting body work there.

Which was like, oh god,
you know,

like hey come rub my--
- Can you rub my butt?

- You know, 
you're not my partner

and I am not pregnant,
but do you mind?

(Hilah laughs)

- But it really, like, 
tipped me off to something.

Like, oh yeah, like, 
just because those are,

especially in our culture
muscles that are--

- Your dirty muscles.

- Yeah, your dirty,
like man we need

to apply some love there.

So, you know some women might,
excuse me, feel like

that's distasteful,
but I think that,

we don't have to 
talk about it now,

but it's worth researching,

kind of perineum massage

and vagina massage.
(both laughing)

Hey-oh.

- And then just 
going back to the breath,

since we're talking 
about dealing with the pain.

Like, breath, 
rhythmic breathing,

that relax breath, 
visualizing the breath.

And knowing that 
breath and massage

is gonna release the 
natural pain killers too.

- Right, right.

- And that's not to 
be forgotten, I think.

Alright, well that's 
all for the dealing with

the pain chat today, 
unless you have anything else

on your mind, my friend.

- I'll probably have some
great ideas after I've done it.

- Yeah.
(both laughing)

Stay tuned, right 
now we're promoting

our "post" videos, already.

Anyway, I love you so much.
- I love you.

- Thank you.

Namaste.

(light music)