Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series (YGOTAS) Episode 11 - ... In America

Once upon a time, nobody wanted to cosplay as Bandit Keith.

Then this episode happened.

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

Just kidding, it's only Yu-Gi-Oh.

I have to reach Pegasus's island.
Fortunately, I can pilot a helicopter.

Thank God for Microsoft Flight Simulator.

Once I get there, I'll probably bump into Yugi.

I'll never forget the way he beat me in a card game.

I can remember it like it was just yesterday.

Wait a moment, did you just summon
a bunch of monsters in one turn?

Yeah, so?

That's against the rules, isn't it?

Screw the rules, I have green hair!

Huh. Well, that was just weird.

I should probably cut down on the drugs.

[JP OP "Kawaita Sakebi"]

Look, Bakura! Your Millennium Ring
is acting really peculiar.

Oh, that's just my gaydar.

My father had it installed in my Millennium
Ring in order to protect me,

because I look so bloody effeminate.

YUGI: I wonder why it's pointing
towards Pegasus's castle?

BAKURA: Bugger if I know.

This tournament is simply FABULOUS!

Ooh, let's celebrate by watching
the Spice Girls movie!

Oh, not again.

I say, that reminds me of the time

when I was transferred into your school.

Kids, this is our new student, Bakura.

Not only is he knew here, he's also British.

So feel free to bully him like crazy.

Hello, everyone, it's bloody nice to meet you.

What's wrong with his voice?

Is he a girl?

Go back to Russia!

I wanna go home.

You blokes are a bunch of wankers.

Checkmate! I sunk your battleship!

Joey, you redefine what it means to be a moron.

I was watching you play card games with your mates,

when my MIllennium Ring started pointing
towards your Millennium Puzzle.

I can't imagine why.

This Millennium Puzzle is simply FABULOUS!

By the way, where are the others?

Joey and Tristan are busy guarding Téa.

For some reason, ever since we
got back from the SHadow Realm,

she's been under the impression
that she's a caterpillar.

Soon I'll be a beautiful butterfly.

And then Yugi will love me.

Oh my, a helicopter! I wonder who it is.

TRISTAN: I hope it's Santa Claus.

Look, it's that guy I defeated in the first episode

without even breaking a sweat.

Hey, loser, how's it going?

I'm here to kick ass and play card games.

And I'm all out of cards.

Here's your deck, Kaiba.

By the way, I've forgiven you
for hospitalizing my grandpa.

Can we be super-special-awesome friends now?

Like hell!

I don't have time to waste with you scoobies.

No offense, Yugi. You're a great duelist and all,

but your buddy over there couldn't
duel his way out of a paper bag.

That does it!

Nobody talks about my pal Tristan like that!

I don't like to be touched by people
who don't have money.

Nyeeh!

Joey, are you okay?

Check his pulse, Yugi!

It's time to duel, you big paluka!

This looks like the perfect
opportunity to stroke my ego.

Behold, the briefcase of death!

This contains the prototypes for my
revolutionary new Duel Disk system.

So tell me, Wheeler, are you ready to be completely
emasculated in front of your friends?

I was born ready, Kaiba!

Go, Armored Lizard!

I think Beyblade's gonna sue somebody.

Battle Ox, Axe Smash attack!

You duel like a dairy farmer!

How appropriate. You duel like a cow.

Joey's sucking even worse than usual.

Keep a stiff upper lip, Joey.

So here's this giant enemy dragon!

Blue Eyes, attack his weak point
for massive damage!

[Raaange Racer!]

That costs you 599 US LP.

No! I lost.

Oh, cry me a river, mutt.

You dweebs don't know what you're up against.

Pegasus is ruthless.

Camp, yet ruthless.

I've seen it with my own eyes.

It was at a surprisingly popular
card game tournament in America.

Mokuba was supposed to be there with me,

but since he'd been kidnapped for
about the fiftieth time that month,

his seat was empty.

Pegasus was facing the intercontinental
champion, Bandit Keith,

who apparently likes to remind
everybody that he's from America.

You can't beat me, because I'm an American!

See what I mean?

It looked like Keith was about to win,

but then suddenly Pegasus invited some kid
from the audience to their table.

Hey, what are you doin'?

Askin' for help's illegal!

In America!

I don't need help. A child could
beat you, Bandit Keith,

and I'm going to prove it.

Are you my mommy?

Pegasus gave the kid some instructions,

and in just one turn, Bandit Keith had lost.

Who would have thought that a child
could win a children's card game?

This can't be happening!

In America!

I've turned this tournament into a total farce!

(Hooray! Hooray!)

And just what was that story supposed to prove?

It proves that I am obscenely rich.

Smell you geeks later.

I have a hyperactive brother to rescue.

I didn't even get to tell him what I want for Christmas.

Ooh, I can sense you, Kaiba-boy.

And once you get here, I'm going to spice up your life!

["Wannabe" - Spice Girls]

Oh my gosh, we're in trouble!

What are we gonna do?

I'm going to do my laundry!

Could I have some change?