Mi nismo andjeli 2 ceo film

Let's fly with balls,
not like in an art movie.

For me everything goes, bro!

Show-offs like him,
even in Heaven.

Redneck, wait!
- I'm losing it!

Let's visit Bill Clinton.
We could arrange,

for HIM to GIVE
a blow job, this time.

Boring!
Politicians always suck.

OK. But it would be fun to see
Bush... Junior.

Come on, Devil!
I've got a better idea.

Let's go see... - These
Serbian psychos? Cool!

WE ARE NO ANGELS 2

Very generous! Sing!

Darling!
Look who's awake!

My tiger was very
adventurous last night.

Breakfast for the champion!

The oil is burning!
Fuck!

...to be together,
for better or worse.

I do!
- And now for something classy!

Four-eyes, get lost!

Here's the dough,
Try countin' it!

Now you, big boy!
Do you, Max Winterfeller...

Foeller.
- Whatever, fatso!

Sounds weird anyhow!

Is the chick perhaps...
- Pregnant? No, man.

OK. Do you take her
to be your wedded wife...

Fucking HUMMINGBIRD STYLE!

Check this out!
An emergency phone call.

Have to pick this up.
Might be an emergency.

Just say "I do" so we can
go home.

Eat me, groom!

Hey! That is public property!

Fuckin' peasants!

I forgot, there is nothing
sacred to a Serb except a BMW.

And don't forget Versace.

You didn't score this time!

They would have split
after six months.

We better go to
our old client!

Here you go, baby, enjoy it.

Oh, sorry.

Thank God it's a long one!
Not from down there.

The registrar always
rings twice.

Shit, my husband!

He's on a lunch break.
Hide!

What a wedding today.
Good thing I was armed.

Put it back, please!
- OK, baby. Don't freak out.

Yuck, you shaved your legs!?
- Sorry.

Can't anything nice ever
happen to me in this house?

Come here, babe!
- That gun is pinching me!

It's not the gun, sugar!
- Huh?! - You know, babe.

Fuckin' suicide!

Still, still...

Piss off, feather bag!

You have wings,
you don't give a fuck!

Excuse me!

I hate to interrupt
your breakfast...

Please.

Give it to me,
darling!

Keep booping, you maniac.

See a shrink,
you schmuck!

Come, please.
COME!

You could help him a bit.
Shake your ass a little, please.

Yes! Yes!

Come on! Just a little
bit more! There it is!

TURN AROUND, BABE.
Yuck, your ass is so cold.

Well, I'm going to jump.

No. I might survive.

Grandma!

Grandma, save me!

Help!
A thief! A thief!

I'm not a thief, madam,
I'm the lover!!

Help! The Lover!

Ouch, the Lover went down.

Huh, there is a God! - There is
a God, but he's taking a nap.

Don't worry.
I'm just fine!

Just a bit of polish,
it's gonna be as good as new.

You can have this glued...

Catch him!
- You... BITCH!!!

So long, schmucks!
The keys! The keys!

What, you're gonna
fuck me too?

I have a new, more intense,
more frightening fear.

I'm afraid that
I'm going to be late.

I take off
an hour earlier.

I step on it, I rush
up and down, left and right.

Children are vomiting,
pregnant women are screaming,

and I'm making loops through
the clouds and I'm still LATE!

Thank God, I'm never late.
That will be all for today.

Very good.

You see, Doctor, I'm flying
to Rome tomorrow,

and I'm already
very anxious today.

Do you think the passengers
will wait for me?

Quite a reasonable assumption.

So, my condition is not
so bad? - Have a good day.

Bro, the night life got
really intense, huh?

I'm late! - Come inside
for an emergency.

When did you get a taste for
men in uniform?

What a legacy!

I used to beat my kids
with this.

Now I beat my grand-kids.
Nothing else works.

Let's go.
- Doctor!

Do you have an appointment?
- No! - Then sit down! Wait!

Son-in-law is goin' mad!

GLASSES OFF!
BRACES OFF!

I'm a tragic TEENAGER, trapped
in a grown man's body.

Damn it, what's the date?

Who's blowing candles today?
- 15 of them. Serious stuff!

You didn't forget about it?!
- Fuck off, how could I forget?

We're not saying you forgot...

But you've suppressed
that painful fact.

I'm lucky I have no
daughters, man.

With dogs like him around!

Milan, get your ass over here.
- Hold this!

Coming, God damn!

A friend of mine was holding
his newborn daughter

in the delivery room.
He's holding her in his arms

all teary-eyed
and he looks at her and says:

Someday, someone
is going to fuck you!

I mean, much, much later.
- About 15 years later.

Milan, I am waiting!
- Please, Doctor!

I'm coming, damn it!

She's going to slit
her wrists for sure.

I'm coming!

Not blood on my
carpet again!

I forgot? Marina, what kind
of a father would I be...

Terrible! The worst kind
in the history of fatherhood!

You'll never change,
especially at your old age.

Idiot of a father and an
idiot of a man!

You know what? Every man,
who turns 40 and still

has a pinball machine
in his apartment...

...should be castrated
with nail clippers.

You're not being fair
to Nikola as a father

Sophia adores him!
- Completely beyond reason.

Seems to run in the family.

I have a phenomenal gift
for Sophia's birthday.

But I need help from one
of the hottest chicks in town.

Shoot, sister!
I'm all yours!

Hey, producer!
Repeating yourself, huh?

Don't be ambitious!
It's a sequel!

Producers only extort money

and exploit stale jokes
from the original.

Hold this, dickhead!

Sophia! Your Daddy Nicky's
got a candy for you!

A sweet candy!
Peek-a-boo!

For Daddy, you're still...

Green!

You've been cheating!
- You mean like

what you did to Mom?

Spare me your Mom's crap,
please!

I'm a free man, you know?

Except that you have me.
- Except that I have you.

Happy birthday, kiddo!

Boss!

Dad, who are those geeks?

Don't say that.
Those are Daddy's clients.

Boss, I've got a group
of politicians

who say playing without masks
will make it more interesting.

Give them live ammo.
It's on the house.

Let's go, gentlemen!
The boss wishes you

a fight to the finish!
Go and change.

There is one more thing.

No way! Forget about it.
- Daddy!

Don't you Daddy me...
all the time!

There is still work to be
done on it... - Cool!

Some stripes should
be changed.

The front seats still
can't be brought down.

With the new shock
absorbers...

it could run
on Baghdad roads.

I'd hate to ride it until
it's in... perfect condition.

It seems to me that you love it
more than you love me.

Don't talk crap, sweety...
NO!

Let me see your hands.

All right, but, just one ride.

Kids, do you like
driving fast?

Watch out, moron! Don't you
see my baby is driving?

Now slow and easy, put it...
- Come on, you geek!

Be polite, respect
other drivers.

I'll get you! - What are you
doing? Are you crazy?

You think it's easy
being a father?

What were you thinking
when you conceived me?

What's this?
Boxing gloves?

What did your mother buy you?
Barbie socks?

I don't know.
She's acting all mysterious.

Your mother mysterious?
It bodes no good.

You must be joking?
- Of course I'm joking!

Daddy bought this for a lady...
Actually, for a costume party!

I'm going as a robber.
No, THIS is for you.

Daddy, do you think
I'm pretty?

Honey, to me you're
the most... - Not like that.

The guys from school
they're not into me...

Daddy, you're a genius!

What can I say?
Either you have it or you don't!

See ya next weekend.

Just so you know, I don't have
anything to do with this.

It's your mother who...
And mine too.

Geek!

Happy birthday, honey.

Who are these people?
- Part of the present, hon.

Give me that awful gun!

It's not going to hurt,
honey. Relax.

Do you like Kylie?

Huh?
Sure, my favorite...

Promise you won't rip it off?

Cross my heart, hon.
- I mean, not right away.

This is the most beautiful
present a girl could get...

for her 15th birthday!!!

Daddy!

UNCLE Nikola to you!!

I'm kidding, you idiot!
Check my ID. In my bag.

Yup, in your school bag!

Many years ago your mother
did the same thing

to get a hold on your father.
But the result was average.

Not like this - shocking!

Girl, you're a natural!

The Kid just discovered
jerking off!

This is pure trash.
Disgusting!

Then why do you play
"pocket-pool"? Drop that!

Mine. Home Sweet Home.

And now some
morning exercise.

Hi, Marina.

Of course I didn't forget.
I'm on my way now.

Honk the horn? You
don't believe I'm in the car?

Listen, Marina,
your lack of trust

is exactly what ruined
our relationship.

Snip... snip... there
Goes his dick!

Nicky!

You scumbag!
Don't ruin my child!

Uncle Nikola...
Sorry, Nikola.

You told me not to call
you "Uncle".

Do I look like an "Uncle" to
you? - I wanted to ask you...

Ask. - Could I take Sophia
to the movies sometimes?

Why do you have to ask? You've
been playing all your life.

Need some cash, kiddo?
- Tell her that YOU don't mind.

No problem, kiddo.

Wow, you fixed
your goggles?

Get some ass, too much
studying ruins your eyes.

Anybody home?

Hey, people!

Will someone answer that?

Yeah?

OK, Dragan, I'll tell her.

Marina! Sophia!
Girls, where are you?

Yeah? What?

Ivan? You're not Dragan?

OK, Ivan. I'll give her...

...the message.

Am I in the... wrong house?

Hi, Dad!
Mom, it's for me!

That was a present from Mom.
Do you like it?

Bye! This is Veljko. We're
going skating. - Bye, hon!

What do you think, proud
of your girl? - Who was that?

You mean that cute boy?
- No! That THING in a skirt!

You don't expect your daughter
to go to soccer matches

with you all her life? - And
shoot that horrible gun!

You, zip it!

Face the fact your daughter
is a young woman.

She was just a GIRL until
yesterday.

No, Goran, she's not in.
- Give it to me! Hello?

Listen to me,
you filthy pedophile!

Tell me where you live and
I'll come and take you out.

Where?! SKATING,
you little fuck!

Who'll look after this child now,
after you two pimps,

have dressed her so that half
the city wants to undress her?

You could be that...
brave knight. - Shut up!

We're going away for
a weekend. - A long weekend.

Actually for a week, to Rome.
So I was wondering if you...

If you...? - Lf I, what?
- Nothing.

Forget it,
I'll call my mother.

She doesn't even know
that Elvis died.

Who will protect our child
from the onslaught of these...?

You weren't there when your
child had measles,

mumps, staphylococcus...

Streptococcus...
- No, no!

Chicken pox...
- A few ear infections.

Now you get to stay
home for a change, lover boy.

Be good.

And no sluts here! - You've
got a minor to take care of.

I almost forgot.

This is the number
of our hotel in Rome.

This is what the children
like to eat and...

...Sophia and Marco's
dentist appointment!

Who's calling? Listen, prick...

Yo, director! Are we supposed
to die of boredom here

while they're saying goodbye
for fucking ever.

I'll fix this.
Time for the Devil's editing!

What are you doing,
you maniac?

This is suicide, man!
- What?

The audience?
These shitheads!?

What's up, geeks!?

Uncle Nikola...

Hmmm... Got lot to do...
hmm... all my good nature...

There you are!
Let's see.

Dear Diary... blah, blah.
No boys, just children's crap.

I'm insane!

That's it! Got you now!

Yeah? Who's asking?

Wrong number, bro.

You fuckin' PERVERT!

Did someone call me?

How nice that we'll spend
the whole week together.

No kiss for Daddy? - Are you
sure no one called?

NO... not even telemarketers!

Did you have a fight
with a girlfriend?

Yeah! She broke my game-boy!

You shouldn't be ashamed
of your feelings.

It is the natural need of a
father to protect his daughter

from the destructive
MALE influence!

Tell me what you see
when you think about it?

I don't know.
House arrest?

Huh... Why not chains,
shackles... - Whipping.

Sorry. - No, it's a bit...
- Too much?

Apart from being illegal,
It's completely inefficient.

Remember, there is no
such thing as total control.

You can establish control
in the house, but what about...

The horrible
school washroom?!

Next!

You'll be suspended.
All of you! MANIACS!

I know, I'll sign her
out of the school.

Okay. - Yes.
Daddy will take care of her.

Russian shit!
Fell of the truck!

This will help you GET OFF!

Comrade zombies!
Stop, please!

Please... Leave her alone!
Screw me instead!

Please!

It's nothing to you and
it means a lot to me!

I might be fat but I
can really shake my ass.

I'll hire an old, extremely
old teacher for her.

I'll be a good girl and
obey my Daddy...

I'll be a good girl and
obey my Daddy...

And so on. You are doing
great in every subject.

Except one.

I taught you to knock, sons!

Are you saying that nothing
can be done? - Hardly.

Thanks.
- Sorry, I'm allergic to tears.

The first step is to understand
and respect the only advantage

of your enemies: Constant
secretion of male hormones.

That makes them
ready for anything.

Remember
what you were like!

HOME OF SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC,
LATE 80's

Maria, my child,
why aren't you studying?

No! You played with
the baton again.

You must check your
vaginal secretion.

This has totally corroded.
Where do the batteries go?

Daddy, NO, please!
- You fuckin' whore!!!

Where is he?
I'll kill him for sure!

That is your biggest asset.

You've been in and out
all the time. - Especially in.

That's it, you know the problem.
But the most important thing...

What? - Do not, under any
circumstance show

any sign of animosity
towards the ENEMY!

I know it's the hardest part,
but... SELF CONTROL, my friend.

Let's imagine the situation.
I'll play the little villain

with just one thing
on my mind:

To steal your precious
daughter's virginity.

Stop! Self control!

If you show animosity...
- Take your glasses off!

...your daughter will be even
more interested in the subject.

Then you're on the road
of no return.

Let's practice.

Wrong! Cut it out!
Let's try again.

Daisies. Sophia's favorite.
Come in, young man.

She'll be right down.

Bravo! Congratulations.

Daddy! Phooey!

Sweet boy.
Let's not waste him...

Bad dog! Very bad dog!

Kind of okay... for a start.

You showed a reasonable
level of tolerance. - Thanks.

Spit it out.

Thank you.

Look! I'm shaking.
- Bear this in mind:

If you do that, she'll
bandage his wound herself.

And then, out of guilt,
she'll be ready to...

All right!

Bravo! You see, you're
making big progress.

I'm going to make it.

Self control is the key
to success. - Yes.

I'm going to make it.

I won't! I won't!
- Self control! Self control!

Yes?

Hi!

Really? When did you call?

That's strange. Nobody told me.
Go out with you?

Well... I don't know.
What time!?

Out of the question! We
said we were going go-carting.

One should keep one's word.
Besides, who's that boy?

Are you sure that he's
reliable, a good student?

It must be checked!

He should bring some proof.
His school report,

his URINE culture or a smear
from... OK, not the smear.

You're insane!

No! Not the laser!

Listen to me, you maniac!
Hi, Marina.

Some idiot's making prank
calls. The child cannot study.

What's that music
in the background?

I know it's Italian...

OK, never mind.
Enjoy, we'll talk later.

The first time I saw you

An angel so little
and so sweet

In an instant my love was true

For ever I will love you

The prejudice is false indeed

That a mother is all you need

'Cause whatever she could give

A father can better achieve

Share joys only with Dad

Share secrets only with Dad

Do a PERM only with dad

Even if he has a
special girlfriend

Only you bring Daddy luck

And that girlfriend he just
fu... fully respects

You live in your dreams, baby

And my voice you don't heed

You don't yet know
what love may be... I hope

And you don't know that
Daddy is all you need...

Why are we in a fucking
home video?!

I'm going through
existential pain here, man!

Come closer
this song you must hear

Your Daddy would give
his life gladly

For all the boys in
your life to disappear...

Sophia?

Sophia, honey?
- Go away!

Daddy is not
that big of a jerk

not to let you go
out with... boys.

Really?
- Really.

Cross your heart?

Cross my heart.

Of course, you'll have time
for that... Plenty of time.

For example, this kid Marko.
Do you remember when he

brought those Barbie dolls
to dress them together,

and you buried them in
the garden? - Cremated!

Yes, in a microwave oven.
I forgot. Such a creative child!

This kid, Marco
is a fine young man.

The other day he asked
my permission to take you out.

He's so well-bred. - But Dad,
Marco is like family to me.

I don't feel any passion
for him. - You're just fifteen!

Passion comes later,
MUCH LATER!

Now is the time to be
passionate about,

let's say, a good book.

At your age I couldn't
take my hands of...

I have to go.
They're waiting for me.

How do I look?

Daddy, lipstick.

Marco, uncle Nikola
has something to ask you.

I'm not asking you to be
an ordinary rat

and to do it out of love.

I'll make you an offer
you cannot refuse.

Uncle Nikola, just give me
some advice, man to man.

No need to bribe me.
Just show me

how to become... COOL

Sonny, I haven't got
seven lives,

we better stick to business.

You see how easy it is?

Us Serbs, we are programmed
to love only two things.

To inform on people
and to be paid for it!

I want a detailed
written report

about potential
aggressors on my child.

You get the second payment
and scotch tape

when your work is done.
Understood?

I've been waiting for
my daughter the whole day

To come back to Daddy,
"I love you"to say.

Your waiting is in vain,
she's found her way.

I'll wait for her, yes I will,
even if it's in vain.

Darling, stop
Darling, stop, relax

I'm going to fucking
kill these assholes!

I'm yours! If you don't
want me, my friend does.

I'd love you too, dear,
but my mother won't let me...

What fucking mother?

What idiotic lyrics!
And... a Musical?!

We all know what
kind of people like musicals!

Look at those two guys.
First some hand-holding

in a cinema and
then hanky-panky!

Aghh... what would your
poor mothers say!

I want a normal movie,

like "Hong-Kong Smash-Up",
that kind of shit!

Wow! Come to Daddy!

I have to go.

Hi, Daddy.
- Good day.

I have also come to ask
my daughter out.

You promised to go
go-carting with me

a long time ago.

Let me see.

We could go on Thursday.
- No, I have a date

with that cute football player.

Maybe Sunday.
I can ditch that poet.

Daddy, on Sunday
I'm all yours.

Nikola - dash - Daddy.

I feel a drain...
of karmic energy in you.

Your aura is somehow pale.
- It's not the aura.

My washing machine
doesn't rinse properly.

And... I'm using a lot
of fabric SOFTENER...

to avoid chaffing.
- Maybe my mother

is breaking your concentration.
Or it's business problems.

More like family problems.
- Don't worry, hon,

You can't get it up.
But age brings wisdom.

Or so they say.

Isn't it so, mom?
- Wise guy.

Uncle Nikola?
- Let's hear it!

I've been on duty here
the whole time.

She's not back yet.

What an engine! 3700 ccm...
- Cut the crap!

What a coincidence!
Father and daughter

returning home
at the same time.

Which is not what we
agreed on. You're late.

I know, but I had
a great time, Daddy.

Really? - I'll brush my teeth,
grab my teddy and hit the beddy.

This is that guy Andrei.
He's some kind of an artist.

An artist? Excellent!
Artists are usually harmless.

What kind of artist?
- A musician I think.

What kind of music?
Classic, jazz, ambient?

I don't know. - Why am I
paying you for? Investigate!

I want a detailed report.
- There are many rumors.

What rumors? - That he
never wore short pants.

I don't understand.
What short pants?

Why are you brushing
your teeth?!

Listen, never mind that
you were an hour late...

The question is how
you spent that hour?

You want to know
if I slept with Andrei?

Why don't you read
about it in my diary?

If you don't feel like reading
I'll tell you. I didn't.

I mean, not yet.

Sweety...
- Nikola, I'm fifteen

but not five or seven.
Do you remember this?

I remember.
- You don't remember, Nikola.

Because mom always
marked my height.

The first time I saw you...

Enough with
that fucking musical!

Or I'll change the genre...

...into PORN!

This is sick!

Why? Low budget, but cute.
This is not a studio movie.

Enough with the fucking sex,
man!

Hey, not me!
- What do you think,

how many times a day does
an average teenager...

...think of sex?
- I don't know. 20-30 times.

758 times!
- Huh.

And - A rocker!?

Let's drop psychology
for a moment,

and use common language:
YOU'RE FUCKED!

You'll have to resort
to drastic measures.

No, I can't do that.
- Breathe, breathe...

Concentrate hard on
what's troubling you.

You dropped it.

A young plant will be
pulled out from the roots.

Be wary of a stranger,
who crosses your threshold.

It's not as bad as it seems.
On the contrary.

I feel you're ready for
another try. Don't move.

...of a stranger, who
crosses your threshold...

...a young spearman!
You prick!

Give it to me.
Why are you like that?

Well, take it.

Didn't I give her everything?
Winter and summer holidays,

ice cream on a sore throat,
wild boar hunting,

duck hunting... - Now we shall
freshen up your aura.

Deana, something important
came up and I have to leave,

but I'll be back and the aura...

Oh, Go Fuck Yourself!!!

Mom!

Wonderful children!

A sec ago they were playing
"Hide and a seek around the dick".

Self control, remember?

Today's girls do nothing
but... - Study! - Fuck off!

I see, a party.

This stereo sucks.
- Hi, Dad.

We found Mom and your
old records.

I hope you don't mind.
- Of course not.

Is there a beer for me?

Don't freak out,
party on!

The things I used to do
to my folks.

I drove them nuts.

Gimme that.

Your kids will do the same
to you some day.

Your Dad is really cool.

Moroccan, excellent.

Afghani.

No. No, thank you.

See, kids, Uncle Nicky used to
raise hell to this music.

Absolutely you're my number.
Absolutely I'm your number.

Absolutely a perfect
couple we are!

Thank you, thank you.

Nikola, you rule.
- We had a great time.

I'm so glad we met.

Would you like me to stay
and help clean up?

Very nice of you,
perhaps... another time.

Bye. - You rock.

Man, my ex-girlfriends
parents hated my guts.

How come you're so
different from all the rest?

Andrei, I think it's because

you remind me so much of
myself when I was your age.

Listen, son, you need to
know one thing about Sophia.

No shit? - My daughter
is a very romantic person.

You're really great, Dad.
- She deserves the best.

Bring my daughter
and my car back by 11.

Yes, Sir!
- Actually, make it 11:30.

And now... screwing time!

We'll see. - Why the fuck
are you hitting me?

Bravo, kiddo. Let's move!

I thought they'd go
downtown for a drink

and they're off to
the middle of nowhere.

You really don't have a clue.
He's taking her to...

Shut up and drive! - But
you're driving, uncle Nikola.

Who's driving?
- You are!

I know where they're headed.
We'll take a shortcut.

I also used to f... f...
fool around there.

Fatso, screw your
own date!

What are you looking at?
Back to work.

They're just crossing
the railroad.

The target is 20 ft away
- We'll hide in the bushes.

You stay a bit further
away from me.

Where are they?
What's up, Joe!

Hi, buddy.
- Strange. They stopped.

Maybe the car can't make
it up the hill.

She could go up
a greasy pole.

Not you, baby.

Hump, hump kids.

Where is that fool going?

Boy came out of the house
and out into the street

He is running very fast
to the locomotive's beat.

Sorry, I'm my parents'
only child.

Hurry up, maybe you
can still manage to COME!

Daddy!

Baby!

Grandma's engagement ring!

This is so romantic. Love is
born again from tragedy.

Although... something's missing.
Let's go again.

Night fell and then...

...it started to rain.

Am I the greatest film
director or what?

You pisspot! A man
can't even take a leak!

One tear follows another.

What fucking GENRE is this?!?

So what?! A bit of this,
a bit of that. Artsy shit!

Fuck Hollywood!
Fuck conventions!

Angel, let's do her
while she's still warm!

Don't hit me, you faggot!
It was a joke!

Sophia!

Daddy!

What about me?!

Let me have him at least.

Mommy!
- Beat it, pussy!

You stingy fuck!

What can I say?

Nikola, I'm so sorry.

No, no! Self control!

It's all right, son.

Screw psychotherapy! Give
him some physical therapy.

You cocksucker!
This is for the handles,

this is for the front left wheel.

You know how many parts
this car has? - No!

Please, just let Daddy
release his tension!

Please, just for an hour!
- No, you animal!

Just a minute. Daddy has to
release his stress.

Stress is a man's greatest
enemy. It's the cause

of all disease. Release
your stress whenever you can.

Damn it, he wears
contact lenses.

I'm so sorry.

It's all right, son.

What's important is that you two
are safe and sound.

What can I say? Your
Dad is really cool. - I know.

But you're not!

Daddy's girl.

From what I can determine...
It's a wreck.

Remember what I taught you,
always clench your fist.

I'm not focused when
it's a street fight.

This is not a street,
it's a railroad.

Let me show you.
Marco, come here.

Sorry, Daddy.

Aw, forget it.

Sophia!

So long, dumb ass.

Listen up!
Zoran, Milan, Dragan...

...I'll stick it...
Hi, Marina.

Everything is just fine.
Relax.

I know it's hard for
you to relax.

Listen, I've been a terrible
husband, but I know one thing.

I'm one of the best
dads in the world.

If not the best.

And if there's ever a
Fathers' Olympics,

I going to register.
And win.

That's it, Daddy.

You spent all your bullets
as usual.

Honey, don't be a prick!
- "Do you feel lucky, punk"!

You wouldn't shoot your
own father... in the back?

Move to the left a bit.
- No, Daddy, no!

You're dead, dummy.

Just so you know,
I let you win this time.

Because I owe you a lot.
- Forget about it, baby.

Why didn't you bring that
sweet young man

to play with us?

I didn't tell you, because
I know you like him, but...

I broke up with him.

You broke up?

With such a nice
young man?

It's nice of you to worry, but
Andrei wasn't good for me.

But you gave him hope!
You can't use your beauty

to manipulate boys. - I know.
But it's all so new for me.

Boys never noticed me before.

And now look - the most
popular girl in school.

Let me enjoy it for a while.

Andrei was too pushy,
if you know what I mean.

You're completely right then.

What are you doing here?

We said we wouldn't see
each other for a while.

For about seventy years.
- I didn't come to see you.

Nikola, you are the only man
who understands me.

If you don't mind,

maybe the two of us could
go out sometime.

You're LIKE A FATHER to me!

Aw, this is not what I call
a father-son hug!

Let me.

Oh, I have a hotel there.
You owe me...

Really?
Are you sure?

I don't know.
Maybe I mis-counted.

Don't ask me,
I'm in Jail.

Sorry. You got a
"Chance". Draw.

"You won second place
in a beauty contest."

Just second!?

Give up! Get the door.
I have to change.

Who is it?
- I have no idea.

Good evening.
Let me introduce myself.

I'm Bozidar. You must be
Nikola, Sophia's dad.

I've heard so much about you.

The skirt is a bit short.
Don't you think?

You think so?
- Don't be so old fashioned!

Sorry... Hands up!

Marco doesn't think my skirt
is too short. - No, no.

Spread the legs!

Got some drugs,
some pills, some weed?

Hey, little condoms! Ow!

You better hide this shit
or she'll know you're a moron.

Hands down!

Sophia can stay 'til 11.
- He's lying! - For popcorn.

'Til 11:30! - Don't worry,
she'll be home by 11.

Cool! Now we split
my daughter's winnings...

You can have this beauty
contest. Let's go on.

I have to go home,
uncle Nikola. Night.

Why? You're a handsome kid.

Jump, jump, jump!
A Chance! Let's see.

You can't fool me. - Why,
he's a nice boy. Real gent.

Oh, I've got a virgin,
15 years old. How nice.

Give me that!

Go to jail!

The worst is behind us.
Now she has a new boyfriend.

Kisses hands and stuff.
A bit fruity.

But never mind,
he's a NICE boy.

To my office! Quickly!

You've stepped into
a classic "Parent trap"!

"A NICE BOY"!? There's
nothing worse than that.

In no time you'll notice
nausea, dizziness,

an uncontrollable urge for
pickled vegetables,

and - caboom!
Three months pregnant!

What do I do? - You're
in deep shit, my friend.

No! I have an idea!
Move over.

Relax.
- Like this?

I have a plan.
- Doctor!

I don't have an appointment,
but I'm going through hell!

I've already tried to
commit suicide twice,

I feel the third time
will be... - Fuck off!

This is not an emergency room!
- Stupid cow! I am a sick man!

GET OUT!
...Fatal!

Don't worry, Mrs.
- Miss...

Let's go for a little walk
to enjoy the view.

From the city bridge maybe!

You're not only my best friend
but my best patient too...

I simply wish
never to cure you.

Listen to the plan.

It's called: "Exposing
the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing!"

Yes! Yes! Now I've got you.
You're through.

Fuck! Shit! Ouch!

There is nothing I can do!
Analogue technology.

I'll kill the kid!

You really want to break
Sophia's heart like this?

You don't have much
experience with women? - Well...

Saw your mother naked.
That's all? Well...

Give me back that
cash advance.

Please, uncle Nikola,
I need a new hard drive.

Fuck the hard drive!
I am saving your life, kiddo.

It's a bit big for me.
- No kidding. Take it off.

Thank you, doll.

Let's see.
Give me those goggles.

You've made Nikola
help the kid to do - what?

I don't understand this scene,
but it's kinda..."homo".

Cool. You'll be a man...
One day!

There you are.
- Thank you.

Look, this must be mom.

The things I do for my patients.

She's crying, man.
- But on scientific grounds.

Fuck your science!

Who could do such
an awful thing?

It must be some jealous bitch!
- Sure, kid.

Dad, why didn't you tell me
that men are so evil?

Not all of them, kid.
Not all of them.

Let's clear the working area.

Now uncle Nicky will work
on his neglected sex life.

Let's see... Under "A".

What do we have here?
Anna, Angela, Anita,

auto mechanic...

We will skip him.
Let's see under "B".

Biba, Bobana, Bojana,

Biljana?

Howdy... Biljana.

I thought this thing between
us was honest and real.

There are many people who
hate our relationship,

because it's so pure.
- You little prick!

My ex must have made
a photo montage. - Really?

At my farewell party tomorrow
before I go to college in London

I want to prove my love to you.

It's highly sensitive.
- I'm sensitive too!

Instead of fooling around
with science,

I better do it
the traditional way!

Say something.

If - It - Doesn't - work,
You're - Fucked kiddo.

It's working, huh?
- Perfect.

See, I'm not
brushing my teeth.

See, I have
something for you.

You won't ask me where
I'm going? - No.

I trust you completely.

Blaywatch Club, please.

Can I go with you,
uncle Nikola?

Some things a man
must do on his own.

I want an explanation first.

Let's go to VIP. I'll explain
it to you there, in private.

You mother fucker!

Come in, babe.

Invitation? - My daughter's
in danger. I must go in.

There's no danger here.
- Excuse me, grandpa.

This is a classy place.

Let's drink some champagne first
- Champagne?!

You're late, Nikola!

Relax.

Don't you feel comfortable
here? - Well, I do.

A toast.
Actually, just a moment.

This way no one
will bother us.

We'll be alone at last.

Sorry.
I dropped my cell phone.

Take care of your things.
- Excuse me, little girl.

Daddy beats her with this
also. We get along so nice.

15 years old, what a lollypop!

Don't worry, she
already had measles.

You fucking pedophile.
- First we'll drink

and then our bodies
will join in wild lust.

My best friend
and my best patient.

Go for refreshment!

Wild, what? - Relax,
it's just an expression.

Although... We're not here
to play Monopoly.

Look what I've got.

Scram, before the
pussy starts to talk!

Look at him! He thought
I was speaking metaphorically!

Go ahead, freshen up.

I really thought this evening
would be special. - Sure thing!

Tonight is THE night, baby!

Come here.

Give me the key!

Don't you have parents?!

Go home!

Smoking, huh?
How old are you?

Go home, at once!

You don't have
to go home. Stay.

And I say to him,
"You know me, bro'. But I...

...don't know YOU."
Look, bro.

Who?
- This guy.

What did you think when you
came here, you little slut?

That you can go back to
your Daddy when you want?

He doesn't give
a damn about you.

That FATDaddy of yours
is enjoying his own life.

Tears?
We don't want that.

We're moving to plan "B".

First we're going to
scream a bit...

...and then you're going
to see some new horizons.

HE'S NOT FAT!

Daddy's girl.

Huh, Daddy will
let some steam out!

Now you won't even be able
to rape Barbie dolls.

Let's see what size we need.

Nikola...
- XL, too big.

L... - Please, don't.
- That's not it either.

Small! - I want to have
a family! Nikola!

You're in luck.
I don't have extra small.

You little cunt!

God damn modern chicks,

you can't even arrange a
little raaape these days!

What's the matter? Why
are you behaving like that?

This is still just a game.
- I know!

What did you do to her,
you idiot? - I just...

How are you, sweetie?

I saw you following me,

and I will forgive you,

my manic Papa!

My Dad is a brave knight.

I've never been so tired.

Night life is
extremely exhausting.

You let a 15 year old girl
go to the scum's den...

Actually, you're not so bad,
Nikola.

I'm a little tired, you know.
She's grown.

I was wondering if
I could stay the night.

OK. But you'll be happy
with the couch, right?

You know where
the blanket is. - I don't.

Did you change your mind?

I did.

There is a God.

More tea? Do you think
she heard us?

Oh, the Happy Family!
- Well, maybe she heard you.

And - without breaking
the dishes!?

What's wrong with
your nerves, man?

It's for me, Pops.

She's become popular,
hasn't she? - Yes.

Yes, kids like her.

Excuse me, I just...

Look, dad, Marco's
such a darling.

He even made sandwiches.
- Little picnic and stuff! Y'know...

I know we should check
who she goes out with,

but our Marco...
- Where are my keys?!

Marco? That kid is like
a rotten apple.

I have personally trained...
Never mind.

Have you started taking drugs
at your age?

Women shit. Keys, keys!

Quickly, our child
is at stake!

Our Sophia? Impossible!
- Impossible my ass!

I almost pulled her
Of a guy's... - Nikola!

Sorry, I got excited.
These are terrible things.

I went into the dragon's lair
and bada-bing, bada-boom!

Saved our only child!

There they are!

Stay away from
the parking lot!

Not the parking lot!

We're in the game now.

Good they haven't
gone to the parking lot.

Scram!

A duck on the way,
Fuck, it's a bad omen!

Hey, kid, hands off!

How romantic...

Maybe, this is her first kiss.
- You're so bloody naive.

Now go down and tell her
to stay with that first one.

Come on, dude,
not below the waist.

Hush. - Hush my ass!
I'll go mess him up!

I feel so stupid. We're
spying on our own daughter.

We're not spying. We're just
supervising, like good parents.

Come here.
- Come where?

What's the matter?
Relax.

Come on, kid, enough foreplay.
Get to the main course.

Check out the little moron.
He's stalling, doesn't know his play.

Look, old folks are also
into it. Disgusting!

Phooey! Fuck it, man!
I need to calm down.

Is this supposed to be
your victory?

It looks more like group sex
to me which is my area.

Why?
I'm a modern angel.

Really? Kiss me then.

What's that, dude?
Are you Brittney Spears or what?

Phooey! Me and my big
mouth. What now?

Just relax.

What technique, man.
I knew it, a fag.

Turn off the light!

Sophiaaaaaa!

THE END