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ANNOUNCER: We now return to tonight's creepy Time Theater presentation of
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"Night of the Robot."
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(screaming)
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Hurry, Gary! The scary robot movie's on.
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Meow.
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What do you mean, I shouldn't watch this?
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Scary movies don't always freak me out.
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(shivering)
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What if Mom is a robot?
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What if Uncle Sherm is a robot?
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What if Gary is a robot?!
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Gary?
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Psst! Gary?
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Gare-bear?
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[annoyed] Meow!
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Gary,
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if you were a robot, you'd tell me, right?
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Meow.
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Aw, I got nothing to worry about.
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And now to get a good night's sleep.
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(snoring)
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Aah! Aah! Aahh!
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Aah! Aaahh! Aah!
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(breathing heavily)
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[screaming] Robot! Oh my gosh!
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(chuckles nervously)
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How about a little music to count me money to?
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DJ: And now, for the number one song in Bikini Bottom,
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"Eletric Zoo."
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(music playing)
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Hey, that's pretty catchy.
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Beep, beep, boop, bop, beep, beep, boop, beep.
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Yeah, that's not bad!
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I love this young people's music.
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(buzzes)
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I surrender!
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Oh.
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SQUIDWARD: SpongeBob!
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Aaahhh!
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Squidward, why are you wearing my hat on your nose?
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I'm not wearing your hat on my nose,
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I'm waiting for number 17's order.
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Number 17:
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a Krabby Patty and a medium beverage.
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Of course.
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Sorry, Squidward, I'm not really feeling myself today.
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I guess I'm a little bit jumpy.
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I keep thinking robots are taking over the world.
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Probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world.
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I even asked Gary if he was a robot!
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Pretty funny, huh?
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[sarcastically] Hilarious.
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Just deliver the food!
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There you go! Enjoy your--
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Say, you're not a robot, are you?
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No, I'm not.
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Well, keep your eyes peeled.
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[emphatically] They're everywhere.
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Back to work!
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MR. KRABS: I feel completely recharged!
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That sounds like Mr. Krabs.
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Come on, little buddy, play it again.
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Please?
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One more time.
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For me!
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That was strange.
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Mr. Krabs was talking to his radio and he said he feels "recharged."
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Ha, ha! If I didn't know better I'd say he was
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a robot.
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Nah!
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Yes, hello.
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I was wondering if you could play that song again.
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Mmm...Which one, man?
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The one that goes, "beep, boop, boop, bop, boop, boop, beep."
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No, man, you're thinking of, "beep, boop, boop, bop, boop, boo, bop."
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MR. KRABS: Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, bop?
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Beep, boop, boop, bop...boop, boop, beep, bop?
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Not "beep, boop, boop, beep"?
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Bop?
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Beep?!
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Boop, boop, bop!
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(screams)
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(whimpers) Oh...
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Oh my gosh.
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Why was Mr. Krabs making all those beeping sounds?
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Could it be that he's
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a robot?
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Nah!
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(gasps)
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(music playing)
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Oh, Squidward! It's teribble!
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(pants) Mr. Krabs... (pants) talking to radio... (pants)
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Beeping sounds... (pants) Strange dancing... (pants)
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Robot.
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That's great, SpongeBob.
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Why don't you work on this problem back in the kitchen?
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Ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
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I'm serious, Squidward!
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Mr. Krabs is a robot and I can prove it too.
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How did you--?
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Let's see. In the movie robots didn't have a sense of humor.
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They couldn't laugh.
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Hey, Mr. Krabs?
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What is it, boy?
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Squidward just told me a hilarious joke and I thought you might like to hear it.
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Is it true, Squidward?
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Is it hilarious?
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Uh, yeah, sure.
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Well, let's hear it, lad.
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Okay, here it goes!
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Uh, how'd it go, Squidward?
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Heh, heh! Uh...
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It went, um...uh...
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Let's see, uh...
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Why couldn't the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie?
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Why?
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It was rated "Arr!"
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Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
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Arr!
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(laughing)
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Be-Because it's about...
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pirates.
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I'm not paying you to do stand-up, Mr. Squidward.
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Now get back to work.
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(gasps) Not even a chuckle.
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See, Squidward, he didn't laugh because he couldn't laugh because he's
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a robot.
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There's a logical explanation why he didn't laugh, SpongeBob.
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He's obviously heard it before.
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The only reason you think Krabs is a robot
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is because you watched that stupid movie.
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Now why don't you--? Uh--
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Hey, Mr. Krabs?
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What? What is it, boy?
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Squidward's father
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never hugged him.
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Isn't that sad?
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(weeping)
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Yes, I suppose that is rather sad
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but Squidward can hug himself during his break.
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Now get back to work!
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Just like the robot in the movie-- he couldn't cry either.
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SpongeBob, this is getting ridiculous!
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I'll have you know my father loved me very much.
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That's the final test, Squidward,
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the love test.
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Robots can't love.
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No, wait, SpongeBob--
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Hey, Mr. Krabs?
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What is it, SpongeBob?!
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I just wanted to tell you that Squidward loves you!
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Get back to work, Mr. Squidward.
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(gulps)
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Squidward?!
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(music playing)
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(music slowing down)
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Aww, me radio died!
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Mmm...These batteries still have a little juice in them.
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I know! I'll give them to Pearl for Christmas.
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(bell dings)
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Me hard-boiled egg is ready!
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I can already taste it.
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Come to Papa!
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Gotcha!
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And what good is a hard-boiled egg without a little salt?
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SPONGEBOB: Mr. Krabs!
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Aah!
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Aahh! Oh, my eyes! Aaahh!
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Mr.--!
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Will you be quiet?!
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Now listen, what did these robots in the movie look like?
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Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hands and they ran on batteries.
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Okay, so tell me,
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does Mr. Krabs look anything like that?
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(screaming)
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BOTH: Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!
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(continues screaming)
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I'll evacuate the customers, you call the Navy!
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Hello, operator? Get me the Navy!
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OPERATOR: Hello, you've reached the Navy's automated phone service.
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Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!
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Not the Navy!
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[over loudspeaker] Attention, everyone! Run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world!
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OUR world!
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(all screaming)
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What do we now?
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I don't know!
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Hey, a nickel!
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SpongeBob...
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Sorry.
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MR. KRABS: Ahhh,
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that's better.
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Beep, boop, boop, boop, beep, bop, boop, boop, bop...
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We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs,
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but how?
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Well, in the movie, the hero teams up with a buddy
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and they get the poop on the robot.
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They poop on the robot?
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Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop,
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ask questions, get information.
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I'd never thought I'd say this, but, SpongeBob,
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let's get that poop!
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(door opens)
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Heh, heh-- Why did you lock the door?
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Why do you have that rope?
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Who's watching the cash register?!
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(SpongeBob and Squidward yelling and crashing)
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MR. KRABS: Get off me!
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SpongeBob, Squidward! What's the meaning of this?!
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Untie me this instant!
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Shut up!
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Sweet Davy Jones, what the heck is going on?
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I said, "Shut up!", you bucket of bolts!
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I can't take it!
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(crying)
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SpongeBob, are you okay?
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Oh, Squidward,
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seeing you slap Mr. Krabs like that is just too horrible to watch!
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No, that's not Mr. Krabs.
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That's robot Krabs.
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Oh, yeah.
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And the only way to deal with these robot types
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is to find out what they know.
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[slowly] Right.
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SpongeBob, you gotta ask him a question first.
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Oh, yeah.
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What color is my underwear?
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SpongeBob, let me handle this.
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Where's Mr. Krabs?
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What are you talking about? I'M Mr. Krabs.
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We can do this all night if you want.
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Where's Mr. Krabs?
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I'M Mr. Krabs!
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Where's Mr. Krabs?
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I'M Mr. Krabs!
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Where's Mr. Krabs?
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I AM Mr. Krabs!
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I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am!
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This is one stubborn robot.
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What?!!!
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You think I'm a robot?!!
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We don't think, we know.
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That's the silliest thing I've ever heard! I am Mr. Krabs!!
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He's not cracking. We'll never get it out of him this way.
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I got an idea. Keep an eye on him, Squidward,
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don't fall for any of his robo tricks.
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If robot Krabs won't tell us where Mr. Krabs is,
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maybe one of his little robot friends will.
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SpongeBob, uh, that's a blender.
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Yeah, but I saw Mr. Krabs talking with his radio before.
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He called it his "little buddy."
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Oh, really? Put it on the table, SpongeBob.
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You're gonna interrogate my blender? You're crazy!
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We're just gonna see what your "little buddy" knows.
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No, wait! What are you gonna to me blender?
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That cost me money!
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Where's Mr. Krabs?
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Not talking, eh?
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No, that cost me $24.95!
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I guess it didn't know anything.
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Go get that toaster.
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No, not me toaster!
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That cost me $32.50!
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$62.67!
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$4...!
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Well, actually, that one was a gift.
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Noooooooo!
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This is the last robot, Squidward.
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NO! Not my cash register!
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I raised it myself. I got when it was just a little calculator.
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No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
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(wailing)
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(sobbing)
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I thought you said robots can't cry.
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I also said they couldn't love.
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[sobbing] I loved it like it was me own.
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Uh... (laughs nervously) At least he's not laughing.
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[sobbing] Oh, oh, oh!
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I remember the laughs we used to share.
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SpongeBob...uh...
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how did that movie of yours end?
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The movie? Oh, yeah! The ending was great!
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Turns out there weren't any robots after all.
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It was just their imagination.
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Heh, heh!
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Hey, it's time to feed Gary.
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[nervously] Ha, ha.
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MR. KRABS: (growling)
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Squidward!!!!