WEBVTT

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ANNOUNCER: We now return to tonight's creepy Time Theater presentation of

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"Night of the Robot."

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(screaming)

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Hurry, Gary! The scary robot movie's on.

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Meow.

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What do you mean, I shouldn't watch this?

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Scary movies don't always freak me out.

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(shivering)

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What if Mom is a robot?

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What if Uncle Sherm is a robot?

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What if Gary is a robot?!

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Gary?

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Psst! Gary?

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Gare-bear?

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[annoyed] Meow!

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Gary,

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if you were a robot, you'd tell me, right?

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Meow.

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Aw, I got nothing to worry about.

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And now to get a good night's sleep.

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(snoring)

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Aah! Aah! Aahh!

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Aah! Aaahh! Aah!

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(breathing heavily)

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[screaming] Robot! Oh my gosh!

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(chuckles nervously)

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How about a little music to count me money to?

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DJ: And now, for the number one song in Bikini Bottom,

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"Eletric Zoo."

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(music playing)

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Hey, that's pretty catchy.

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Beep, beep, boop, bop, beep, beep, boop, beep.

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Yeah, that's not bad!

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I love this young people's music.

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(buzzes)

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I surrender!

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Oh.

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SQUIDWARD: SpongeBob!

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Aaahhh!

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Squidward, why are you wearing my hat on your nose?

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I'm not wearing your hat on my nose,

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I'm waiting for number 17's order.

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Number 17:

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a Krabby Patty and a medium beverage.

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Of course.

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Sorry, Squidward, I'm not really feeling myself today.

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I guess I'm a little bit jumpy.

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I keep thinking robots are taking over the world.

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Probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world.

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I even asked Gary if he was a robot!

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Pretty funny, huh?

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[sarcastically] Hilarious.

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Just deliver the food!

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There you go! Enjoy your--

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Say, you're not a robot, are you?

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No, I'm not.

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Well, keep your eyes peeled.

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[emphatically] They're everywhere.

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Back to work!

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MR. KRABS: I feel completely recharged!

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That sounds like Mr. Krabs.

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Come on, little buddy, play it again.

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Please?

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One more time.

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For me!

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That was strange.

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Mr. Krabs was talking to his radio and he said he feels "recharged."

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Ha, ha! If I didn't know better I'd say he was

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a robot.

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Nah!

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Yes, hello.

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I was wondering if you could play that song again.

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Mmm...Which one, man?

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The one that goes, "beep, boop, boop, bop, boop, boop, beep."

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No, man, you're thinking of, "beep, boop, boop, bop, boop, boo, bop."

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MR. KRABS: Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, bop?

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Beep, boop, boop, bop...boop, boop, beep, bop?

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Not "beep, boop, boop, beep"?

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Bop?

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Beep?!

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Boop, boop, bop!

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(screams)

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(whimpers) Oh...

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Oh my gosh.

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Why was Mr. Krabs making all those beeping sounds?

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Could it be that he's

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a robot?

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Nah!

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(gasps)

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(music playing)

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Oh, Squidward! It's teribble!

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(pants) Mr. Krabs... (pants) talking to radio... (pants)

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Beeping sounds... (pants) Strange dancing... (pants)

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Robot.

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That's great, SpongeBob.

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Why don't you work on this problem back in the kitchen?

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Ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

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I'm serious, Squidward!

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Mr. Krabs is a robot and I can prove it too.

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How did you--?

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Let's see. In the movie robots didn't have a sense of humor.

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They couldn't laugh.

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Hey, Mr. Krabs?

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What is it, boy?

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Squidward just told me a hilarious joke and I thought you might like to hear it.

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Is it true, Squidward?

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Is it hilarious?

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Uh, yeah, sure.

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Well, let's hear it, lad.

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Okay, here it goes!

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Uh, how'd it go, Squidward?

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Heh, heh! Uh...

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It went, um...uh...

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Let's see, uh...

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Why couldn't the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie?

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Why?

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It was rated "Arr!"

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Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

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Arr!

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(laughing)

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Be-Because it's about...

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pirates.

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I'm not paying you to do stand-up, Mr. Squidward.

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Now get back to work.

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(gasps) Not even a chuckle.

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See, Squidward, he didn't laugh because he couldn't laugh because he's

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a robot.

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There's a logical explanation why he didn't laugh, SpongeBob.

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He's obviously heard it before.

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The only reason you think Krabs is a robot

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is because you watched that stupid movie.

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Now why don't you--? Uh--

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Hey, Mr. Krabs?

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What? What is it, boy?

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Squidward's father

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never hugged him.

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Isn't that sad?

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(weeping)

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Yes, I suppose that is rather sad

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but Squidward can hug himself during his break.

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Now get back to work!

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Just like the robot in the movie-- he couldn't cry either.

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SpongeBob, this is getting ridiculous!

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I'll have you know my father loved me very much.

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That's the final test, Squidward,

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the love test.

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Robots can't love.

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No, wait, SpongeBob--

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Hey, Mr. Krabs?

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What is it, SpongeBob?!

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I just wanted to tell you that Squidward loves you!

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Get back to work, Mr. Squidward.

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(gulps)

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Squidward?!

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(music playing)

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(music slowing down)

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Aww, me radio died!

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Mmm...These batteries still have a little juice in them.

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I know! I'll give them to Pearl for Christmas.

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(bell dings)

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Me hard-boiled egg is ready!

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I can already taste it.

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Come to Papa!

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Gotcha!

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And what good is a hard-boiled egg without a little salt?

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SPONGEBOB: Mr. Krabs!

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Aah!

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Aahh! Oh, my eyes! Aaahh!

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Mr.--!

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Will you be quiet?!

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Now listen, what did these robots in the movie look like?

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Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hands and they ran on batteries.

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Okay, so tell me,

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does Mr. Krabs look anything like that?

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(screaming)

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BOTH: Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!

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(continues screaming)

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I'll evacuate the customers, you call the Navy!

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Hello, operator? Get me the Navy!

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OPERATOR: Hello, you've reached the Navy's automated phone service.

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Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!

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Not the Navy!

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[over loudspeaker] Attention, everyone! Run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world!

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OUR world!

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(all screaming)

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What do we now?

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I don't know!

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Hey, a nickel!

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SpongeBob...

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Sorry.

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MR. KRABS: Ahhh,

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that's better.

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Beep, boop, boop, boop, beep, bop, boop, boop, bop...

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We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs,

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but how?

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Well, in the movie, the hero teams up with a buddy

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and they get the poop on the robot.

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They poop on the robot?

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Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop,

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ask questions, get information.

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I'd never thought I'd say this, but, SpongeBob,

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let's get that poop!

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(door opens)

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Heh, heh-- Why did you lock the door?

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Why do you have that rope?

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Who's watching the cash register?!

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(SpongeBob and Squidward yelling and crashing)

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MR. KRABS: Get off me!

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SpongeBob, Squidward! What's the meaning of this?!

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Untie me this instant!

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Shut up!

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Sweet Davy Jones, what the heck is going on?

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I said, "Shut up!", you bucket of bolts!

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I can't take it!

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(crying)

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SpongeBob, are you okay?

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Oh, Squidward,

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seeing you slap Mr. Krabs like that is just too horrible to watch!

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No, that's not Mr. Krabs.

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That's robot Krabs.

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Oh, yeah.

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And the only way to deal with these robot types

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is to find out what they know.

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[slowly] Right.

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SpongeBob, you gotta ask him a question first.

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Oh, yeah.

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What color is my underwear?

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SpongeBob, let me handle this.

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Where's Mr. Krabs?

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What are you talking about? I'M Mr. Krabs.

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We can do this all night if you want.

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Where's Mr. Krabs?

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I'M Mr. Krabs!

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Where's Mr. Krabs?

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I'M Mr. Krabs!

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Where's Mr. Krabs?

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I AM Mr. Krabs!

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I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am!

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This is one stubborn robot.

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What?!!!

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You think I'm a robot?!!

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We don't think, we know.

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That's the silliest thing I've ever heard! I am Mr. Krabs!!

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He's not cracking. We'll never get it out of him this way.

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I got an idea. Keep an eye on him, Squidward,

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don't fall for any of his robo tricks.

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If robot Krabs won't tell us where Mr. Krabs is,

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maybe one of his little robot friends will.

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SpongeBob, uh, that's a blender.

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Yeah, but I saw Mr. Krabs talking with his radio before.

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He called it his "little buddy."

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Oh, really? Put it on the table, SpongeBob.

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You're gonna interrogate my blender? You're crazy!

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We're just gonna see what your "little buddy" knows.

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No, wait! What are you gonna to me blender?

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That cost me money!

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Where's Mr. Krabs?

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Not talking, eh?

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No, that cost me $24.95!

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I guess it didn't know anything.

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Go get that toaster.

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No, not me toaster!

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That cost me $32.50!

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$62.67!

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$4...!

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Well, actually, that one was a gift.

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Noooooooo!

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This is the last robot, Squidward.

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NO! Not my cash register!

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I raised it myself. I got when it was just a little calculator.

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No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

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(wailing)

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(sobbing)

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I thought you said robots can't cry.

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I also said they couldn't love.

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[sobbing] I loved it like it was me own.

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Uh... (laughs nervously) At least he's not laughing.

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[sobbing] Oh, oh, oh!

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I remember the laughs we used to share.

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SpongeBob...uh...

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how did that movie of yours end?

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The movie? Oh, yeah! The ending was great!

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Turns out there weren't any robots after all.

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It was just their imagination.

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Heh, heh!

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Hey, it's time to feed Gary.

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[nervously] Ha, ha.

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MR. KRABS: (growling)

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Squidward!!!!