ANNOUNCER: We now return to tonight's creepy Time Theater presentation of
"Night of the Robot."
(screaming)
Hurry, Gary! The scary robot movie's on.
Meow.
What do you mean, I shouldn't watch this?
Scary movies don't always freak me out.
(shivering)
What if Mom is a robot?
What if Uncle Sherm is a robot?
What if Gary is a robot?!
Gary?
Psst! Gary?
Gare-bear?
[annoyed] Meow!
Gary,
if you were a robot, you'd tell me, right?
Meow.
Aw, I got nothing to worry about.
And now to get a good night's sleep.
(snoring)
Aah! Aah! Aahh!
Aah! Aaahh! Aah!
(breathing heavily)
[screaming] Robot! Oh my gosh!
(chuckles nervously)
How about a little music to count me money to?
DJ: And now, for the number one song in Bikini Bottom,
"Eletric Zoo."
(music playing)
Hey, that's pretty catchy.
Beep, beep, boop, bop, beep, beep, boop, beep.
Yeah, that's not bad!
I love this young people's music.
(buzzes)
I surrender!
Oh.
SQUIDWARD: SpongeBob!
Aaahhh!
Squidward, why are you wearing my hat on your nose?
I'm not wearing your hat on my nose,
I'm waiting for number 17's order.
Number 17:
a Krabby Patty and a medium beverage.
Of course.
Sorry, Squidward, I'm not really feeling myself today.
I guess I'm a little bit jumpy.
I keep thinking robots are taking over the world.
Probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world.
I even asked Gary if he was a robot!
Pretty funny, huh?
[sarcastically] Hilarious.
Just deliver the food!
There you go! Enjoy your--
Say, you're not a robot, are you?
No, I'm not.
Well, keep your eyes peeled.
[emphatically] They're everywhere.
Back to work!
MR. KRABS: I feel completely recharged!
That sounds like Mr. Krabs.
Come on, little buddy, play it again.
Please?
One more time.
For me!
That was strange.
Mr. Krabs was talking to his radio and he said he feels "recharged."
Ha, ha! If I didn't know better I'd say he was
a robot.
Nah!
Yes, hello.
I was wondering if you could play that song again.
Mmm...Which one, man?
The one that goes, "beep, boop, boop, bop, boop, boop, beep."
No, man, you're thinking of, "beep, boop, boop, bop, boop, boo, bop."
MR. KRABS: Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, bop?
Beep, boop, boop, bop...boop, boop, beep, bop?
Not "beep, boop, boop, beep"?
Bop?
Beep?!
Boop, boop, bop!
(screams)
(whimpers) Oh...
Oh my gosh.
Why was Mr. Krabs making all those beeping sounds?
Could it be that he's
a robot?
Nah!
(gasps)
(music playing)
Oh, Squidward! It's teribble!
(pants) Mr. Krabs... (pants) talking to radio... (pants)
Beeping sounds... (pants) Strange dancing... (pants)
Robot.
That's great, SpongeBob.
Why don't you work on this problem back in the kitchen?
Ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
I'm serious, Squidward!
Mr. Krabs is a robot and I can prove it too.
How did you--?
Let's see. In the movie robots didn't have a sense of humor.
They couldn't laugh.
Hey, Mr. Krabs?
What is it, boy?
Squidward just told me a hilarious joke and I thought you might like to hear it.
Is it true, Squidward?
Is it hilarious?
Uh, yeah, sure.
Well, let's hear it, lad.
Okay, here it goes!
Uh, how'd it go, Squidward?
Heh, heh! Uh...
It went, um...uh...
Let's see, uh...
Why couldn't the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie?
Why?
It was rated "Arr!"
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Arr!
(laughing)
Be-Because it's about...
pirates.
I'm not paying you to do stand-up, Mr. Squidward.
Now get back to work.
(gasps) Not even a chuckle.
See, Squidward, he didn't laugh because he couldn't laugh because he's
a robot.
There's a logical explanation why he didn't laugh, SpongeBob.
He's obviously heard it before.
The only reason you think Krabs is a robot
is because you watched that stupid movie.
Now why don't you--? Uh--
Hey, Mr. Krabs?
What? What is it, boy?
Squidward's father
never hugged him.
Isn't that sad?
(weeping)
Yes, I suppose that is rather sad
but Squidward can hug himself during his break.
Now get back to work!
Just like the robot in the movie-- he couldn't cry either.
SpongeBob, this is getting ridiculous!
I'll have you know my father loved me very much.
That's the final test, Squidward,
the love test.
Robots can't love.
No, wait, SpongeBob--
Hey, Mr. Krabs?
What is it, SpongeBob?!
I just wanted to tell you that Squidward loves you!
Get back to work, Mr. Squidward.
(gulps)
Squidward?!
(music playing)
(music slowing down)
Aww, me radio died!
Mmm...These batteries still have a little juice in them.
I know! I'll give them to Pearl for Christmas.
(bell dings)
Me hard-boiled egg is ready!
I can already taste it.
Come to Papa!
Gotcha!
And what good is a hard-boiled egg without a little salt?
SPONGEBOB: Mr. Krabs!
Aah!
Aahh! Oh, my eyes! Aaahh!
Mr.--!
Will you be quiet?!
Now listen, what did these robots in the movie look like?
Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hands and they ran on batteries.
Okay, so tell me,
does Mr. Krabs look anything like that?
(screaming)
BOTH: Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!
(continues screaming)
I'll evacuate the customers, you call the Navy!
Hello, operator? Get me the Navy!
OPERATOR: Hello, you've reached the Navy's automated phone service.
Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!
Not the Navy!
[over loudspeaker] Attention, everyone! Run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world!
OUR world!
(all screaming)
What do we now?
I don't know!
Hey, a nickel!
SpongeBob...
Sorry.
MR. KRABS: Ahhh,
that's better.
Beep, boop, boop, boop, beep, bop, boop, boop, bop...
We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs,
but how?
Well, in the movie, the hero teams up with a buddy
and they get the poop on the robot.
They poop on the robot?
Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop,
ask questions, get information.
I'd never thought I'd say this, but, SpongeBob,
let's get that poop!
(door opens)
Heh, heh-- Why did you lock the door?
Why do you have that rope?
Who's watching the cash register?!
(SpongeBob and Squidward yelling and crashing)
MR. KRABS: Get off me!
SpongeBob, Squidward! What's the meaning of this?!
Untie me this instant!
Shut up!
Sweet Davy Jones, what the heck is going on?
I said, "Shut up!", you bucket of bolts!
I can't take it!
(crying)
SpongeBob, are you okay?
Oh, Squidward,
seeing you slap Mr. Krabs like that is just too horrible to watch!
No, that's not Mr. Krabs.
That's robot Krabs.
Oh, yeah.
And the only way to deal with these robot types
is to find out what they know.
[slowly] Right.
SpongeBob, you gotta ask him a question first.
Oh, yeah.
What color is my underwear?
SpongeBob, let me handle this.
Where's Mr. Krabs?
What are you talking about? I'M Mr. Krabs.
We can do this all night if you want.
Where's Mr. Krabs?
I'M Mr. Krabs!
Where's Mr. Krabs?
I'M Mr. Krabs!
Where's Mr. Krabs?
I AM Mr. Krabs!
I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am!
This is one stubborn robot.
What?!!!
You think I'm a robot?!!
We don't think, we know.
That's the silliest thing I've ever heard! I am Mr. Krabs!!
He's not cracking. We'll never get it out of him this way.
I got an idea. Keep an eye on him, Squidward,
don't fall for any of his robo tricks.
If robot Krabs won't tell us where Mr. Krabs is,
maybe one of his little robot friends will.
SpongeBob, uh, that's a blender.
Yeah, but I saw Mr. Krabs talking with his radio before.
He called it his "little buddy."
Oh, really? Put it on the table, SpongeBob.
You're gonna interrogate my blender? You're crazy!
We're just gonna see what your "little buddy" knows.
No, wait! What are you gonna to me blender?
That cost me money!
Where's Mr. Krabs?
Not talking, eh?
No, that cost me $24.95!
I guess it didn't know anything.
Go get that toaster.
No, not me toaster!
That cost me $32.50!
$62.67!
$4...!
Well, actually, that one was a gift.
Noooooooo!
This is the last robot, Squidward.
NO! Not my cash register!
I raised it myself. I got when it was just a little calculator.
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
(wailing)
(sobbing)
I thought you said robots can't cry.
I also said they couldn't love.
[sobbing] I loved it like it was me own.
Uh... (laughs nervously) At least he's not laughing.
[sobbing] Oh, oh, oh!
I remember the laughs we used to share.
SpongeBob...uh...
how did that movie of yours end?
The movie? Oh, yeah! The ending was great!
Turns out there weren't any robots after all.
It was just their imagination.
Heh, heh!
Hey, it's time to feed Gary.
[nervously] Ha, ha.
MR. KRABS: (growling)
Squidward!!!!