Oprah Winfrey's 2008 Stanford Commencement Address

Oprah Winfrey, global media leader and philanthropist, spoke to the Class of 2008 at Stanford's 117th Commencement on June 15, 2008. Winfrey drew on experiences from a career that began in 1976 when she co-anchored a television newscast, and she shared three lessons about feelings, failure and finding happiness.

Transcript of Oprah Winfrey's commencement address: http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2008/june18/como-061808.html

Stanford University channel on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/stanford

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Oh, oh, the books.

Thank you.

Well, thank you,
President Hennessy,

and to the trustees
and the faculty,

to all of the parents
and grandparents, to you,

the Stanford graduates.

Thank you for letting me share
this amazing day with you.

I need to begin by letting
everyone in on a little secret.

The secret is that
Kirby Bumpus--

--Stanford class of '08--

0-8!

--is my god-daughter.

So I was thrilled when
President Hennessy asked

me to be your commencement
speaker, because this

is the first time I've been
allowed on campus since Kirby's

been here.

You see, Kirby's
a very smart girl.

She wants people to get to know
her on our own terms, she says,

not in terms of who she knows.

So she never wants
anyone who's first

meeting her to know that I
know her and she knows me.

So when she first
came to Stanford

for new student
orientation with her mom,

I hear that they arrived, and
everybody was so welcoming,

and somebody came up to Kirby
and they said, oh my god,

that's Gayle King--
because a lot of people

know Gayle King is my BFF.

So somebody comes up to Kirby
and they say, oh my god,

is that Gayle King?

And Kirby's like, uh-huh.

She's my mom.

And so the person
says, oh my god,

does it mean, like,
you know Oprah Winfrey?

And Kirby says, sort of.

I said, sort of?

You sort of know me?

Well, I have photographic proof.

I have pictures,
which I can email

to you all, of Kirby riding
horsey with me on all fours.

So I more than sort
of know Kirby Bumpus.

And I'm so happy
to be here, just

happy that I finally, after
four years, get to see her room.

There is really nowhere
else I'd rather be,

because I'm so
proud of Kirby, who

graduates today with two
degrees, one in human bio

and the other in psychology.

Love you, Kirby Cakes.

That's how well I know her,
I can call her "Cakes."

And so proud of her
mother and father,

who helped her get through this
time, and her brother Will.

I really had nothing to do with
her graduating from Stanford,

but every time
anybody's asked me

in the past couple of weeks
what I was doing, I'd say,

I'm getting ready
to go to Stanford.

I just love saying "Stanford."

Because the truth
is, I know I would

have never gotten my
degree at all, because I

didn't go to Stanford.

I went to Tennessee
State University.

But I never would have
gotten my diploma at all,

because I was supposed
to graduate back in 1975.

But I was short one credit.

I was short one credit.

And I figured, I'm
going to just forget it,

because I'm not going
to march with my class.

Because by that point, I
was already on television.

I'd been in television since
I was 19 and a sophomore.

Granted, I was the
only television anchor

person that had an 111 o'clock
curfew doing the 10 o'clock

news.

Seriously, my dad was
like, [OLD MAN VOICE]

well, that news is over 10:30.

Be home by 11.

But that didn't matter to me,
because I was earning a living.

I was on my way.

So I thought, I'm going to
let this college thing go,

and I only had one credit.

But my father, from that
time on and for years after,

was always on my case,
because I did not graduate.

He'd say, [OLD MAN VOICE]
Oprah Gayle--

that's my middle name-- I
don't know what you're going

to do without that degree.

And I'd say, but Dad, I
have my own television show.

And he'd say,
[OLD MAN VOICE] I still

don't know what you're going
to do without that degree.

[LAUGHTER]

And I'd say, but Dad, now
I'm going a talk show host.

He'd say,
[OLD MAN VOICE] I don't

know you're going to get
another job without that degree.

[LAUGHTER]

So in 1987, Tennessee
State University

invited me back to speak
at their commencement.

By then, I had my own show,
was nationally syndicated.

I'd made a movie, had been
nominated for an Oscar,

and founded my company, Harpo.

But I told them, I cannot come
and give a speech unless I can

earn one more credit, because
my dad's still saying I'm not

going to get anywhere
without that degree.

So I finished my coursework,
I turned in my final paper,

and I got the degree.

[CHEERING]

And my dad was very proud.

And I know that if
anything happens,

that one credit will
be my salvation.

But I also know why my dad
was insisting on that diploma,

because as B.B. King put it, the
beautiful thing about learning

is that nobody can take
that away from you.

And learning is really, in the
broadest sense, what I really

want to talk about today,
because your education,

of course, isn't ending here.

In many ways, it's
only just begun.

The world has so many
lessons to teach you.

I consider the world, this
earth, to be like a school,

and our life the classrooms.

And sometimes here on
this Planet Earth school,

the lessons often come dressed
up as detours or road blocks,

and sometimes as
full-blown crises.

And the secret I've
learned to getting ahead

is being open to the
lessons-- lessons

from the grandest
universe of all,

that is, the universe itself.

It's being able to walk
through life eager and open

to self-improvement
and that which

is going to best help you
evolve-- because that's really

why we're here, to
evolve as human beings--

so to grow into being
more of ourselves,

always moving to the next
level of understanding,

the next level of
compassion and growth.

I think one of the greatest
compliments I've ever received,

I interviewed with a reporter
when I was first starting out

and Chicago, and then many years
later I saw the same reporter

and she said to
me, you know what?

You really haven't changed.

You've just become
more of yourself.

And that is really what
we're all trying to do,

become more of ourselves.

And I believe that there is
a lesson in almost everything

that you do in every experience,
and getting the lesson

is how you move forward.

It's how you enrich your spirit.

And trust me, I know
that inner wisdom

is more precious than wealth.

The more you spend
it, the more you gain.

So today, I just want to share
a few lessons, meaning three,

that I've learned in
my journey so far.

And aren't you glad?

Don't you hate it when somebody
says, I'm going to share a few,

and it's 10 lessons later?

And you're like, listen,
this is my graduation.

This is not about you.

So it's only going to be three.

The three lessons that have had
the greatest impact on my life

have to do with
feelings, with failure,

and with finding happiness.

A year after I left college,
I was given the opportunity

to co-anchor the 6
o'clock news in Baltimore,

because the whole
goal in the media

at the time I was
coming up was that you

try to move to larger markets.

And Baltimore was a much
larger market than Nashville,

so getting the 6 o'clock
news co-anchor job at 22

was such a big deal.

It felt like the biggest deal
in the world at the time.

And I was so proud,
because I was finally

going to have my chance to be
like Barbara Walters, which

is who I'd been
trying to emulate

since the start of my TV career.

So I was 22 years old
making $22,000 a year,

and it's where I met
my best friend, Gayle,

who was an intern at
the same TV station.

And once we became friends,
we'd say, oh my god,

I can't believe it.

You're making 22.

And you're only 22.

Imagine when you're 40
and you're making 40.

When I turned 40, I was so
glad that didn't happen.

So here I am, 22,
making $22,000 a year.

And yet, it didn't feel right.

It didn't feel right.

The first sign, as President
Hennessy was saying,

was when they tried
to change my name.

The news director said
to me at the time,

nobody's going to
remember "Oprah,"

so we want to change your name.

We've come up with a name we
think that people will remember

and people will like.

It's a friendly name, Suzy.

(PETITE VOICE) Hi, Suzy.

Very friendly.

You can't be angry with Suzy.

Remember Suzy.

But my name wasn't Suzy.

And you know, I'd grown up
not really loving my name,

because when you're looking
for your little name

on the lunch boxes and
the license plate tags,

you're never going
to find "Oprah."

So I grew up not
loving the name,

but once I was
asked to change it,

I thought, well, it is my
name, and do I look like a Suzy

to you?

So I thought, no, it
doesn't feel right.

I'm not going to change my
name, and if people remember it

or not, that's OK.

And then they said they
didn't like the way I looked.

This was in 1976 where your
boss could call you in and say,

I don't like the way you look.

Now that would be
called lawsuit.

But back then, they
could just say,

I don't like the way you look.

Which, in case some of you in
the back, if you can't tell,

is nothing like Barbara Walters.

So they sent me to a salon,
where they gave me a perm.

And after a few days,
all my hair fell out

and I had to shave my head.

And then they really
didn't like the way I look.

Because now I am black and
bald and sitting on TV.

Not a pretty picture.

But even worse than being
bald, I really hated,

hated, hated being sent to
report on other people's

tragedies as a part
of my daily duty,

knowing that I was just
expected to observe when

everything in my
instinct told me that I

should be doing something.

I should be lending a hand.

So, as President Hennessy
said, I'd cover a fire,

and then I'd go back and I'd try
to give the victims blankets.

And I wouldn't be
able to sleep at night

because of all the things I
was covering during the day.

And meanwhile, I was trying
to sit gracefully like Barbara

and make myself
talk like Barbara.

And I thought, well, I could
make a pretty goofy Barbara.

And if I could figure
out how to be myself,

I could be a pretty good Oprah.

I was trying to sound
elegant like Barbara.

And sometimes I
didn't read my copy,

because something
inside me said,

this should be spontaneous.

You know?

It should be spontaneous.

So I wanted to get the news as
I was giving it to the people,

so sometimes I
wouldn't read my copy

and it'd be like,

six people in a pileup on I-40?

Oh my goodness.

And sometimes I
wouldn't read the copy,

because I wanted
to be spontaneous,

and I'd come across
a list of words I

didn't know, and mispronounce.

And one day I was reading copy
and I called Canada Ka-na-da.

And I did just that, I
cracked myself up on the air.

And I decided, this Barbara
thing's not going too well.

I should try being myself.

But at the same time,
my dad was saying,

Oprah Gayle, this is the
opportunity of a lifetime.

You'd better keep that job.

And my boss was saying,
this is the nightly news.

You're an anchor,
not a social worker.

Just do your job.

So I was juggling these messages
of expectation and obligation,

and feeling really
miserable with myself.

I'd go home at night and fill
up my journals, because I've

kept a journal since I was 15.

So I now have
volumes of journals.

So I'd go home at night
and fill up my journals

about how miserable
I was and frustrated,

and then I'd eat my anxiety.

That's where I
learned that habit.

And after eight months,
I lost that job.

They said I was too emotional.

I was too much.

But since they didn't want
to pay off the contract,

they put me on a talk
show in Baltimore.

And the moment I sat down
on that show-- the moment

I did-- I felt
like I'd come home.

I realized that TV could be
more than just a playground,

but a platform for
service, for helping

other people lift their lives.

And the moment I sat down
doing that talk show,

it felt like breathing.

It felt-- it felt right.

And that's where everything
that followed for me began.

And I got that lesson.

When you're doing the
work you're meant to do,

it feels right, and every
day is a bonus, regardless

of what you're getting paid.

It's true.

And how do you know when
you're doing something right?

How do you know that?

It feels so.

What I know now is that
feelings are really

your GPS system for life.

When you're supposed
to do something

or not supposed to do something,
your emotional guidance system

lets you know.

The trick is to learn to
check your ego at the door,

and start checking
your gut instead.

Every right decision I've made--
every right decision I've ever

made-- has come from my gut.

And every wrong decision I've
ever made was a result of me

not listening to the
greater voice of myself.

If it doesn't feel
right, don't do it.

That's the lesson.

And that lesson alone
will save you, my friends,

a lot of grief.

Even doubt means don't.

This is what I've learned.

There are many times when
you don't know what to do.

When you don't know
what to do, get still.

Get very still, until
you do know what to do.

And when you do get still and
let your internal motivation

be the driver, not only will
your personal life improve,

but you will gain a competitive
edge in the working world,

as well.

Because as Daniel Pink writes
in his bestseller, A Whole New

Mind, he says we're
entering a whole new age.

And he calls it
the conceptual age,

where traits that set
people apart today

are going to come
from our hearts--

right brain-- as
well as our heads.

It's no longer just the logical,
linear, rules-based thinking

that matters, he says.

It's also empathy and joyfulness
and purpose, inner traits

that have transcendent worth.

These qualities bloom when
we're doing what we love-- so

when we're involving the
wholeness of ourselves

in our work, both our
expertise and our emotion.

So I say to you, forget
about the fast lane.

If you really want to fly,
just harness your power

to your passion.

Honor your calling.

Everybody has one.

Trust your heart, and
success will come to you.

So how do I define success?

Let me tell you,
money's pretty nice.

I'm not going to stand
up here and tell you

that it's not about money,
because money is very nice.

I like money.

It's good for buying things.

But having a lot of money
does not automatically

make you a successful person.

What you want is
money and meaning.

You want your work
to be meaningful,

because meaning is what brings
the real richness to your life.

What you really want
is to be surrounded

by people you
trust and treasure,

and by people who cherish you.

That's when you're really rich.

So lesson one,
follow your feelings.

If it feels right, move for it.

If it doesn't feel
right, don't do it.

Now I want to talk a little bit about failings,

because nobody's journey is seamless or smooth.

We all stumble.

We all have setbacks.

If things go wrong, you hit a dead end-- as you will--

it's just life's way of saying, time to change course.

So ask every failure

this is what I do.

Every failure, every crisis, every difficult time,

I say, what is this here to teach me?

And as soon as you get the lesson, you get to move on.

If you really get the lesson, you pass and you don't have
to repeat the class.

If you don't get the lesson, it shows up wearing another pair
of pants, or skirt, to give you some remedial work.

And what I've found is that difficulties come when you don't pay
attention to life's whisper,

because life always whispers to you first.

And if you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you'll get a scream.

Whatever you resist persists, but if you ask the right question--

not why is this happening,

but what is here to teach me--
what is this here to teach me--

it puts you in the place and space to get the lesson you need.

My friend Eckhart Tolle, who's
written this wonderful book

called A New Earth
that's all about letting

the awareness of who you
are stimulate everything

that you do, puts it like this.

He says, don't react
against a bad situation.

Merge with that
situation instead,

and the solution will
arise from the challenge.

Because surrendering yourself
doesn't mean giving up.

It means acting
with responsibility.

OK, many of you know that,
as President Hennessy said,

I started the school in Africa.

And I founded this
school where I'm

trying to give South African
girls a shot at a future

like yours, Stanford.

And I spent five
years making sure

that school would be as
beautiful as the students.

I wanted every girl to
feel her worth reflected

in her surroundings, so I
checked every blueprint,

I picked every pillow, I
was looking at the grout

in between the bricks.

I knew every thread
count of the sheets.

I chose every girl from the
villages from nine provinces,

and yet, last fall, I
was faced with a crises

I'd never anticipated.

I was told that one
of the dorm matrons

was suspected of sexual abuse.

Well, that was, as you can
imagine, devastating news.

First, I cried.

Actually, I sobbed, for
about a half an hour.

And then I said,
let's get to it.

That's all you get,
is a half an hour.

You need to focus on the
now, what you need to do now.

So I contacted a child
trauma specialist.

I put together a team
of investigators.

I made sure the girls had
counseling and support.

And Gayle and I got on a plane
and flew to South Africa.

And the whole time I kept
asking that question, what

is this here to teach me?

And as difficult as that
experience has been,

I got a lot of lessons.

I understand now
the mistakes I made,

because I had been
paying attention

to all of the wrong things.

I built that school
from the outside-in,

when what really mattered
was the inside-out.

So it's a lesson that applies
to all of our lives as a whole.

What matters most
is what's inside.

What matters most is the sense
of integrity, of quality,

and beauty.

I got that lesson.

And what I know is that the
girls came away with something,

too.

They've emerged from this
more resilient, and knowing

that their voices have power.

And their resilience
and spirit have

given me more than I could ever
give to them, which leads me

to my final lesson, the one
about finding happiness-- which

we could talk about
all day, but I

know you have other
wacky things to do.

Not a small topic this
is, finding happiness.

But in some ways, I think
it's the simplest of all.

Gwendolyn Brooks wrote
a poem for her children.

It's called "Speech
to the Young,

Speech to the Progress-Toward."

And she says at the end,
live not for battles won.

Live not for the
end of the song.

Live in the along.

She's saying, like
Eckhart Tolle,

that you have to
live for the present.

You have to be in the moment.

Whatever has happened
to you in your past

has no power over this present
moment, because life is now.

But I think she's also saying,
be a part of something.

Don't live for yourself alone.

This is what I know for sure.

In order to be truly happy,
you must live along with

and you have to stand for
something larger than yourself,

because life is a
reciprocal exchange.

To move forward, you
have to give back.

And to me, that is the
greatest lesson of life.

To be happy, you have
to give something back.

I know you know
that, because that's

a lesson that's woven into the
very fabric of this university.

It's a lesson that Jane
and Leland Stanford got

and one they've bequeathed
to you, because all of you

know the story of how this
great school came to be,

how the Stanfords lost
their only child to typhoid

at the age of 15.

They had every right and
they had every reason

to turn their backs against
the world at that time.

But instead, they channeled
their grief and their pain

into an act of grace.

Within a year of
their son's death,

they'd made the founding
grant for this great school,

pledging to do for
other people's children

what they were not able
to do for their own boy.

The lesson here is clear.

And that is, if
you're hurting, you

need to help somebody
else ease their hurt.

If you're in pain, help
somebody else's pain.

And when you're in a mess, you
get yourself out of the mess

helping somebody out of theirs.

And in the process,
you get to become

a member of what I call the
greatest fellowship of all,

the sorority of compassion
and the fraternity of service.

The Stanfords had suffered the
worst thing any mom and dad can

ever endure, yet they
understood that helping others

is the way we help ourselves.

And this wisdom is
increasingly supported

by scientific and
sociological research.

It's no longer just
woo-woo soft-skills talk.

There's actually a helper's
high, a spiritual surge

you gain from serving others.

So if you want to
feel good, you have

to go out and do some good.

But when you do good, I hope
you strive for more than just

the good feeling that
service provides,

because I know this for sure,
that doing good actually

makes you better.

So whatever field
you choose, if you

operate from the
paradigm of service,

I know your life will have more
value, and you will be happy.

I was always happy
doing my talk show,

but that happiness reached
a depth of fulfillment,

of joy, that I really can't
describe to you a measure when

I stopped just being on TV
and looking at TV as a job,

and decided to use
television-- to use it and not

have it use me-- to use it as
a platform to serve my viewers.

That alone changed the
trajectory of my success.

So I know this-- that
whether you're an actor,

you offer your talent in the
way that most inspires art;

if you're an anatomist, you
look at your gift as knowledge

and service to
healing; whether you've

been called, as so many of you
here today getting doctorates

and other degrees to the
profession of business, law,

engineering, humanities,
science, medicine--

if you choose to offer your
skills and talent in service,

when you choose the paradigm of
service, looking at your life

through that paradigm, it turns
everything you do from a job

into a gift.

And I know you haven't spent
all this time at Stanford just

to go out and get a job.

So you've been enriched
in countless ways.

There's no better way to
make your mark on the world

than to share that
abundance with others.

My constant prayer for myself
is to be used in service

for the greater good.

So let me end with one
of my favorite quotes

from Martin Luther King.

Dr. King said, not
everybody can be famous.

And I don't know if--
everybody today seems

to want to be famous,
but fame is a trip.

People follow you
to the bathroom.

[LAUGHTER]

Listen to you pee.

[LAUGHTER]

Try to pee quietly,
it doesn't matter.

They come out and say,
oh my god, it's you.

You peed.

[LAUGHTER]

That's the fame trip.

So I don't know
if you want that.

So Dr. King said not
everybody can be famous,

but everybody can be
great, because greatness

is determined by service.

Yet, those of you who
are history scholars

may know the rest
of that passage.

He said, you don't have to
have a college degree to serve.

You don't have to
make your subject

and verb agree to serve.

You don't have to know about
Plato or Aristotle to serve.

You don't have to know
Einstein's theory of relativity

to serve.

You don't have to know the
second theory of thermodynamics

in physics to serve.

You only need a
heart full of grace

and a soul generated by love.

In a few moments, you'll all
be officially Stanford grads '08

You have the heart and
the smarts to go with it,

and it's up to you to decide,
really, where will you

now use those gifts?

You've got the diploma, so
go out and get the lessons.

Because I know, great
things are sure to come.

You know, I've always believed
that everything is better

when you share it.

So before I go, I wanted
to share a graduation gift

with you.

Underneath your seats, you'll
find two of my favorite books,

Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth,
which is my current book club

selection-- our "New Earth"
webcast has been downloaded

30 million times with that
book-- and Daniel Pink's

A Whole New Mind-- Why Right
Brainers Will Rule the Future,

has reassured me I'm moving
in the right direction.

I really wanted
to give you cars.

But I just couldn't
pull that off.

Congratulations, [WHOOPING] '08.