1 00:00:07,084 --> 00:00:08,750 This program is brought to you 2 00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:10,450 by Stanford University. 3 00:00:10,450 --> 00:00:13,570 Please visit us at stanford.edu. 4 00:00:18,438 --> 00:00:20,760 Oh, oh, the books. 5 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,965 Thank you. 6 00:00:30,790 --> 00:00:32,870 Well, thank you, President Hennessy, 7 00:00:32,870 --> 00:00:36,770 and to the trustees and the faculty, 8 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:42,410 to all of the parents and grandparents, to you, 9 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,120 the Stanford graduates. 10 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:48,387 Thank you for letting me share this amazing day with you. 11 00:00:52,506 --> 00:00:59,100 I need to begin by letting everyone in on a little secret. 12 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:02,170 The secret is that Kirby Bumpus-- 13 00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:10,400 --Stanford class of '08-- 14 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,340 0-8! 15 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:14,872 --is my god-daughter. 16 00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:20,390 So I was thrilled when President Hennessy asked 17 00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:22,860 me to be your commencement speaker, because this 18 00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:25,950 is the first time I've been allowed on campus since Kirby's 19 00:01:25,950 --> 00:01:26,562 been here. 20 00:01:28,290 --> 00:01:30,100 You see, Kirby's a very smart girl. 21 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:33,840 She wants people to get to know her on our own terms, she says, 22 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,350 not in terms of who she knows. 23 00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:39,370 So she never wants anyone who's first 24 00:01:39,370 --> 00:01:44,510 meeting her to know that I know her and she knows me. 25 00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:47,050 So when she first came to Stanford 26 00:01:47,050 --> 00:01:51,230 for new student orientation with her mom, 27 00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:56,270 I hear that they arrived, and everybody was so welcoming, 28 00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:59,839 and somebody came up to Kirby and they said, oh my god, 29 00:01:59,839 --> 00:02:01,630 that's Gayle King-- because a lot of people 30 00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:02,960 know Gayle King is my BFF. 31 00:02:05,550 --> 00:02:08,690 So somebody comes up to Kirby and they say, oh my god, 32 00:02:08,690 --> 00:02:10,330 is that Gayle King? 33 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:13,380 And Kirby's like, uh-huh. 34 00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:15,740 She's my mom. 35 00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:17,780 And so the person says, oh my god, 36 00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:21,580 does it mean, like, you know Oprah Winfrey? 37 00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:24,428 And Kirby says, sort of. 38 00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:30,265 I said, sort of? 39 00:02:30,265 --> 00:02:33,240 You sort of know me? 40 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,450 Well, I have photographic proof. 41 00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:37,450 I have pictures, which I can email 42 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:44,620 to you all, of Kirby riding horsey with me on all fours. 43 00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:49,270 So I more than sort of know Kirby Bumpus. 44 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:52,800 And I'm so happy to be here, just 45 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:57,929 happy that I finally, after four years, get to see her room. 46 00:02:57,929 --> 00:02:59,720 There is really nowhere else I'd rather be, 47 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,730 because I'm so proud of Kirby, who 48 00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:05,990 graduates today with two degrees, one in human bio 49 00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:08,220 and the other in psychology. 50 00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:10,150 Love you, Kirby Cakes. 51 00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:14,680 That's how well I know her, I can call her "Cakes." 52 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,130 And so proud of her mother and father, 53 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:20,770 who helped her get through this time, and her brother Will. 54 00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:24,140 I really had nothing to do with her graduating from Stanford, 55 00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,050 but every time anybody's asked me 56 00:03:26,050 --> 00:03:28,860 in the past couple of weeks what I was doing, I'd say, 57 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,980 I'm getting ready to go to Stanford. 58 00:03:31,980 --> 00:03:37,130 I just love saying "Stanford." 59 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,580 Because the truth is, I know I would 60 00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:42,150 have never gotten my degree at all, because I 61 00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:45,180 didn't go to Stanford. 62 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:47,270 I went to Tennessee State University. 63 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:51,120 But I never would have gotten my diploma at all, 64 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:55,960 because I was supposed to graduate back in 1975. 65 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,910 But I was short one credit. 66 00:03:58,910 --> 00:04:00,830 I was short one credit. 67 00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:02,930 And I figured, I'm going to just forget it, 68 00:04:02,930 --> 00:04:06,630 because I'm not going to march with my class. 69 00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:09,340 Because by that point, I was already on television. 70 00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:13,440 I'd been in television since I was 19 and a sophomore. 71 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,830 Granted, I was the only television anchor 72 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:19,031 person that had an 111 o'clock curfew doing the 10 o'clock 73 00:04:19,031 --> 00:04:19,531 news. 74 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:22,750 Seriously, my dad was like, [OLD MAN VOICE] 75 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:24,280 well, that news is over 10:30. 76 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,410 Be home by 11. 77 00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:30,800 But that didn't matter to me, because I was earning a living. 78 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,850 I was on my way. 79 00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:34,160 So I thought, I'm going to let this college thing go, 80 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,780 and I only had one credit. 81 00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:39,980 But my father, from that time on and for years after, 82 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,990 was always on my case, because I did not graduate. 83 00:04:42,990 --> 00:04:45,340 He'd say, [OLD MAN VOICE] Oprah Gayle-- 84 00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:47,590 that's my middle name-- I don't know what you're going 85 00:04:47,590 --> 00:04:49,450 to do without that degree. 86 00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:54,979 And I'd say, but Dad, I have my own television show. 87 00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:56,520 And he'd say, [OLD MAN VOICE] I still 88 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,811 don't know what you're going to do without that degree. 89 00:04:58,811 --> 00:04:59,350 [LAUGHTER] 90 00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:01,745 And I'd say, but Dad, now I'm going a talk show host. 91 00:05:01,745 --> 00:05:03,120 He'd say, [OLD MAN VOICE] I don't 92 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,494 know you're going to get another job without that degree. 93 00:05:05,494 --> 00:05:07,440 [LAUGHTER] 94 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,740 So in 1987, Tennessee State University 95 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:13,710 invited me back to speak at their commencement. 96 00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:18,080 By then, I had my own show, was nationally syndicated. 97 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,280 I'd made a movie, had been nominated for an Oscar, 98 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,790 and founded my company, Harpo. 99 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:27,410 But I told them, I cannot come and give a speech unless I can 100 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:31,370 earn one more credit, because my dad's still saying I'm not 101 00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:35,100 going to get anywhere without that degree. 102 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:40,020 So I finished my coursework, I turned in my final paper, 103 00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:41,320 and I got the degree. 104 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,500 [CHEERING] 105 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:47,670 And my dad was very proud. 106 00:05:47,670 --> 00:05:50,090 And I know that if anything happens, 107 00:05:50,090 --> 00:05:52,084 that one credit will be my salvation. 108 00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:59,160 But I also know why my dad was insisting on that diploma, 109 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:03,440 because as B.B. King put it, the beautiful thing about learning 110 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,360 is that nobody can take that away from you. 111 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:10,710 And learning is really, in the broadest sense, what I really 112 00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:13,110 want to talk about today, because your education, 113 00:06:13,110 --> 00:06:14,525 of course, isn't ending here. 114 00:06:14,525 --> 00:06:16,980 In many ways, it's only just begun. 115 00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:21,320 The world has so many lessons to teach you. 116 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:26,620 I consider the world, this earth, to be like a school, 117 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,480 and our life the classrooms. 118 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,140 And sometimes here on this Planet Earth school, 119 00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:36,800 the lessons often come dressed up as detours or road blocks, 120 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,850 and sometimes as full-blown crises. 121 00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:42,620 And the secret I've learned to getting ahead 122 00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:45,670 is being open to the lessons-- lessons 123 00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:48,150 from the grandest universe of all, 124 00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:51,110 that is, the universe itself. 125 00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:54,450 It's being able to walk through life eager and open 126 00:06:54,450 --> 00:06:56,720 to self-improvement and that which 127 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,700 is going to best help you evolve-- because that's really 128 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:03,890 why we're here, to evolve as human beings-- 129 00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:08,000 so to grow into being more of ourselves, 130 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,930 always moving to the next level of understanding, 131 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,740 the next level of compassion and growth. 132 00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:16,940 I think one of the greatest compliments I've ever received, 133 00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:19,670 I interviewed with a reporter when I was first starting out 134 00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:23,540 and Chicago, and then many years later I saw the same reporter 135 00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:25,710 and she said to me, you know what? 136 00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:27,820 You really haven't changed. 137 00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:31,540 You've just become more of yourself. 138 00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:34,390 And that is really what we're all trying to do, 139 00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:36,690 become more of ourselves. 140 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:40,340 And I believe that there is a lesson in almost everything 141 00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:44,220 that you do in every experience, and getting the lesson 142 00:07:44,220 --> 00:07:46,140 is how you move forward. 143 00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:49,350 It's how you enrich your spirit. 144 00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:51,460 And trust me, I know that inner wisdom 145 00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:53,310 is more precious than wealth. 146 00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:55,650 The more you spend it, the more you gain. 147 00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:59,216 So today, I just want to share a few lessons, meaning three, 148 00:07:59,216 --> 00:08:00,840 that I've learned in my journey so far. 149 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:01,520 And aren't you glad? 150 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,820 Don't you hate it when somebody says, I'm going to share a few, 151 00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:04,970 and it's 10 lessons later? 152 00:08:06,090 --> 00:08:08,460 And you're like, listen, this is my graduation. 153 00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:11,780 This is not about you. 154 00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:13,550 So it's only going to be three. 155 00:08:13,550 --> 00:08:18,700 The three lessons that have had the greatest impact on my life 156 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:23,310 have to do with feelings, with failure, 157 00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:24,960 and with finding happiness. 158 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,500 A year after I left college, I was given the opportunity 159 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:31,760 to co-anchor the 6 o'clock news in Baltimore, 160 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,179 because the whole goal in the media 161 00:08:35,179 --> 00:08:37,890 at the time I was coming up was that you 162 00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:39,419 try to move to larger markets. 163 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,860 And Baltimore was a much larger market than Nashville, 164 00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:46,540 so getting the 6 o'clock news co-anchor job at 22 165 00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:47,550 was such a big deal. 166 00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:49,841 It felt like the biggest deal in the world at the time. 167 00:08:49,841 --> 00:08:51,820 And I was so proud, because I was finally 168 00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:55,780 going to have my chance to be like Barbara Walters, which 169 00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:57,840 is who I'd been trying to emulate 170 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,810 since the start of my TV career. 171 00:08:59,810 --> 00:09:04,550 So I was 22 years old making $22,000 a year, 172 00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:07,670 and it's where I met my best friend, Gayle, 173 00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:09,640 who was an intern at the same TV station. 174 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,569 And once we became friends, we'd say, oh my god, 175 00:09:12,569 --> 00:09:13,360 I can't believe it. 176 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,870 You're making 22. 177 00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:16,490 And you're only 22. 178 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,741 Imagine when you're 40 and you're making 40. 179 00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,025 When I turned 40, I was so glad that didn't happen. 180 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:31,720 So here I am, 22, making $22,000 a year. 181 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,730 And yet, it didn't feel right. 182 00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:37,170 It didn't feel right. 183 00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:40,190 The first sign, as President Hennessy was saying, 184 00:09:40,190 --> 00:09:43,610 was when they tried to change my name. 185 00:09:43,610 --> 00:09:45,970 The news director said to me at the time, 186 00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:47,760 nobody's going to remember "Oprah," 187 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,850 so we want to change your name. 188 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:52,720 We've come up with a name we think that people will remember 189 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,700 and people will like. 190 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:56,190 It's a friendly name, Suzy. 191 00:10:00,942 --> 00:10:01,942 (PETITE VOICE) Hi, Suzy. 192 00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:05,380 Very friendly. 193 00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:07,250 You can't be angry with Suzy. 194 00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,580 Remember Suzy. 195 00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:09,820 But my name wasn't Suzy. 196 00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:12,450 And you know, I'd grown up not really loving my name, 197 00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:14,640 because when you're looking for your little name 198 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,220 on the lunch boxes and the license plate tags, 199 00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:19,620 you're never going to find "Oprah." 200 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,240 So I grew up not loving the name, 201 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,350 but once I was asked to change it, 202 00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:27,100 I thought, well, it is my name, and do I look like a Suzy 203 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,040 to you? 204 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,764 So I thought, no, it doesn't feel right. 205 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:34,180 I'm not going to change my name, and if people remember it 206 00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:35,760 or not, that's OK. 207 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,290 And then they said they didn't like the way I looked. 208 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:42,630 This was in 1976 where your boss could call you in and say, 209 00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,230 I don't like the way you look. 210 00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:46,140 Now that would be called lawsuit. 211 00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:50,430 But back then, they could just say, 212 00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:52,360 I don't like the way you look. 213 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,430 Which, in case some of you in the back, if you can't tell, 214 00:10:56,430 --> 00:10:58,240 is nothing like Barbara Walters. 215 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:04,040 So they sent me to a salon, where they gave me a perm. 216 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,970 And after a few days, all my hair fell out 217 00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:07,140 and I had to shave my head. 218 00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:09,140 And then they really didn't like the way I look. 219 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:12,855 Because now I am black and bald and sitting on TV. 220 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,310 Not a pretty picture. 221 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:21,220 But even worse than being bald, I really hated, 222 00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:25,520 hated, hated being sent to report on other people's 223 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:28,910 tragedies as a part of my daily duty, 224 00:11:28,910 --> 00:11:31,360 knowing that I was just expected to observe when 225 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:35,400 everything in my instinct told me that I 226 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,130 should be doing something. 227 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,700 I should be lending a hand. 228 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:42,460 So, as President Hennessy said, I'd cover a fire, 229 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:46,060 and then I'd go back and I'd try to give the victims blankets. 230 00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:48,390 And I wouldn't be able to sleep at night 231 00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:51,250 because of all the things I was covering during the day. 232 00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:55,230 And meanwhile, I was trying to sit gracefully like Barbara 233 00:11:55,230 --> 00:12:01,420 and make myself talk like Barbara. 234 00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:05,670 And I thought, well, I could make a pretty goofy Barbara. 235 00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:07,980 And if I could figure out how to be myself, 236 00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:10,040 I could be a pretty good Oprah. 237 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,480 I was trying to sound elegant like Barbara. 238 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,240 And sometimes I didn't read my copy, 239 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,030 because something inside me said, 240 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:17,350 this should be spontaneous. 241 00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:17,510 You know? 242 00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:18,551 It should be spontaneous. 243 00:12:18,551 --> 00:12:22,210 So I wanted to get the news as I was giving it to the people, 244 00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:23,750 so sometimes I wouldn't read my copy 245 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:25,208 and it'd be like, 246 00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:27,440 six people in a pileup on I-40? 247 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:28,690 Oh my goodness. 248 00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:33,632 And sometimes I wouldn't read the copy, 249 00:12:33,632 --> 00:12:35,090 because I wanted to be spontaneous, 250 00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:36,631 and I'd come across a list of words I 251 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,650 didn't know, and mispronounce. 252 00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:41,735 And one day I was reading copy and I called Canada Ka-na-da. 253 00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:48,510 And I did just that, I cracked myself up on the air. 254 00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:52,260 And I decided, this Barbara thing's not going too well. 255 00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:53,950 I should try being myself. 256 00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:56,445 But at the same time, my dad was saying, 257 00:12:56,445 --> 00:12:59,292 Oprah Gayle, this is the opportunity of a lifetime. 258 00:12:59,292 --> 00:13:01,440 You'd better keep that job. 259 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,230 And my boss was saying, this is the nightly news. 260 00:13:04,230 --> 00:13:06,680 You're an anchor, not a social worker. 261 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,220 Just do your job. 262 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:13,730 So I was juggling these messages of expectation and obligation, 263 00:13:13,730 --> 00:13:16,930 and feeling really miserable with myself. 264 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:20,290 I'd go home at night and fill up my journals, because I've 265 00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:21,790 kept a journal since I was 15. 266 00:13:21,790 --> 00:13:23,430 So I now have volumes of journals. 267 00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:25,560 So I'd go home at night and fill up my journals 268 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,770 about how miserable I was and frustrated, 269 00:13:27,770 --> 00:13:29,580 and then I'd eat my anxiety. 270 00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,750 That's where I learned that habit. 271 00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:35,080 And after eight months, I lost that job. 272 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,470 They said I was too emotional. 273 00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:39,315 I was too much. 274 00:13:39,315 --> 00:13:41,440 But since they didn't want to pay off the contract, 275 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,920 they put me on a talk show in Baltimore. 276 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,940 And the moment I sat down on that show-- the moment 277 00:13:46,940 --> 00:13:49,580 I did-- I felt like I'd come home. 278 00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:57,260 I realized that TV could be more than just a playground, 279 00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:59,360 but a platform for service, for helping 280 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,320 other people lift their lives. 281 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,440 And the moment I sat down doing that talk show, 282 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,440 it felt like breathing. 283 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,990 It felt-- it felt right. 284 00:14:08,990 --> 00:14:13,070 And that's where everything that followed for me began. 285 00:14:13,070 --> 00:14:15,150 And I got that lesson. 286 00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:17,550 When you're doing the work you're meant to do, 287 00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:22,610 it feels right, and every day is a bonus, regardless 288 00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:24,197 of what you're getting paid. 289 00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:28,971 It's true. 290 00:14:28,971 --> 00:14:31,220 And how do you know when you're doing something right? 291 00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:32,560 How do you know that? 292 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,010 It feels so. 293 00:14:35,010 --> 00:14:37,360 What I know now is that feelings are really 294 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,820 your GPS system for life. 295 00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:42,570 When you're supposed to do something 296 00:14:42,570 --> 00:14:47,410 or not supposed to do something, your emotional guidance system 297 00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:48,470 lets you know. 298 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:52,370 The trick is to learn to check your ego at the door, 299 00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:55,270 and start checking your gut instead. 300 00:14:55,270 --> 00:15:00,610 Every right decision I've made-- every right decision I've ever 301 00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:04,060 made-- has come from my gut. 302 00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:09,000 And every wrong decision I've ever made was a result of me 303 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,840 not listening to the greater voice of myself. 304 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:17,680 If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. 305 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,180 That's the lesson. 306 00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:22,880 And that lesson alone will save you, my friends, 307 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,390 a lot of grief. 308 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:25,547 Even doubt means don't. 309 00:15:25,547 --> 00:15:26,630 This is what I've learned. 310 00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:28,796 There are many times when you don't know what to do. 311 00:15:28,796 --> 00:15:33,910 When you don't know what to do, get still. 312 00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:39,820 Get very still, until you do know what to do. 313 00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:43,850 And when you do get still and let your internal motivation 314 00:15:43,850 --> 00:15:49,390 be the driver, not only will your personal life improve, 315 00:15:49,390 --> 00:15:52,480 but you will gain a competitive edge in the working world, 316 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,280 as well. 317 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,840 Because as Daniel Pink writes in his bestseller, A Whole New 318 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,750 Mind, he says we're entering a whole new age. 319 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,130 And he calls it the conceptual age, 320 00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:05,220 where traits that set people apart today 321 00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:07,650 are going to come from our hearts-- 322 00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:10,700 right brain-- as well as our heads. 323 00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:14,240 It's no longer just the logical, linear, rules-based thinking 324 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,880 that matters, he says. 325 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:20,090 It's also empathy and joyfulness and purpose, inner traits 326 00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:21,960 that have transcendent worth. 327 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:26,480 These qualities bloom when we're doing what we love-- so 328 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,760 when we're involving the wholeness of ourselves 329 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,270 in our work, both our expertise and our emotion. 330 00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:36,440 So I say to you, forget about the fast lane. 331 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,510 If you really want to fly, just harness your power 332 00:16:39,510 --> 00:16:41,080 to your passion. 333 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,200 Honor your calling. 334 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,820 Everybody has one. 335 00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:47,190 Trust your heart, and success will come to you. 336 00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:50,670 So how do I define success? 337 00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:53,599 Let me tell you, money's pretty nice. 338 00:16:53,599 --> 00:16:55,390 I'm not going to stand up here and tell you 339 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:59,520 that it's not about money, because money is very nice. 340 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,040 I like money. 341 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,405 It's good for buying things. 342 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:10,089 But having a lot of money does not automatically 343 00:17:10,089 --> 00:17:12,410 make you a successful person. 344 00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:17,848 What you want is money and meaning. 345 00:17:17,848 --> 00:17:20,560 You want your work to be meaningful, 346 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:26,270 because meaning is what brings the real richness to your life. 347 00:17:26,270 --> 00:17:29,390 What you really want is to be surrounded 348 00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:32,140 by people you trust and treasure, 349 00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:34,550 and by people who cherish you. 350 00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:36,290 That's when you're really rich. 351 00:17:36,290 --> 00:17:38,930 So lesson one, follow your feelings. 352 00:17:38,930 --> 00:17:41,720 If it feels right, move for it. 353 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,252 If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. 354 00:17:44,252 --> 00:17:46,130 Now I want to talk a little bit about failings, 355 00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:49,040 because nobody's journey is seamless or smooth. 356 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,060 We all stumble. 357 00:17:50,060 --> 00:17:51,650 We all have setbacks. 358 00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:56,142 If things go wrong, you hit a dead end-- as you will-- 359 00:17:56,142 --> 00:18:01,218 it's just life's way of saying, time to change course. 360 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:02,924 So ask every failure 361 00:18:02,924 --> 00:18:04,380 this is what I do. 362 00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:08,600 Every failure, every crisis, every difficult time, 363 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,850 I say, what is this here to teach me? 364 00:18:12,850 --> 00:18:16,540 And as soon as you get the lesson, you get to move on. 365 00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:19,720 If you really get the lesson, you pass and you don't have to repeat the class. 366 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:27,917 If you don't get the lesson, it shows up wearing another pair of pants, or skirt, to give you some remedial work. 367 00:18:28,951 --> 00:18:34,895 And what I've found is that difficulties come when you don't pay attention to life's whisper, 368 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,720 because life always whispers to you first. 369 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,910 And if you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you'll get a scream. 370 00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:45,589 Whatever you resist persists, but if you ask the right question-- 371 00:18:45,589 --> 00:18:47,090 not why is this happening, 372 00:18:47,090 --> 00:18:51,880 but what is here to teach me-- what is this here to teach me-- 373 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,250 it puts you in the place and space to get the lesson you need. 374 00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:59,770 My friend Eckhart Tolle, who's written this wonderful book 375 00:18:59,770 --> 00:19:02,660 called A New Earth that's all about letting 376 00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:05,030 the awareness of who you are stimulate everything 377 00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:06,890 that you do, puts it like this. 378 00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:10,570 He says, don't react against a bad situation. 379 00:19:10,570 --> 00:19:13,530 Merge with that situation instead, 380 00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:16,610 and the solution will arise from the challenge. 381 00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:19,310 Because surrendering yourself doesn't mean giving up. 382 00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:22,820 It means acting with responsibility. 383 00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:26,670 OK, many of you know that, as President Hennessy said, 384 00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:30,790 I started the school in Africa. 385 00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:33,630 And I founded this school where I'm 386 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,340 trying to give South African girls a shot at a future 387 00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:39,710 like yours, Stanford. 388 00:19:39,710 --> 00:19:42,350 And I spent five years making sure 389 00:19:42,350 --> 00:19:46,720 that school would be as beautiful as the students. 390 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:50,420 I wanted every girl to feel her worth reflected 391 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:54,170 in her surroundings, so I checked every blueprint, 392 00:19:54,170 --> 00:19:57,560 I picked every pillow, I was looking at the grout 393 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,190 in between the bricks. 394 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:01,440 I knew every thread count of the sheets. 395 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,800 I chose every girl from the villages from nine provinces, 396 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,630 and yet, last fall, I was faced with a crises 397 00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:10,050 I'd never anticipated. 398 00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:12,000 I was told that one of the dorm matrons 399 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,980 was suspected of sexual abuse. 400 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:18,680 Well, that was, as you can imagine, devastating news. 401 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:19,740 First, I cried. 402 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,740 Actually, I sobbed, for about a half an hour. 403 00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:25,270 And then I said, let's get to it. 404 00:20:25,270 --> 00:20:27,510 That's all you get, is a half an hour. 405 00:20:27,510 --> 00:20:31,270 You need to focus on the now, what you need to do now. 406 00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:34,010 So I contacted a child trauma specialist. 407 00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:36,440 I put together a team of investigators. 408 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,390 I made sure the girls had counseling and support. 409 00:20:39,390 --> 00:20:43,240 And Gayle and I got on a plane and flew to South Africa. 410 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,850 And the whole time I kept asking that question, what 411 00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:49,650 is this here to teach me? 412 00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:52,470 And as difficult as that experience has been, 413 00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:54,350 I got a lot of lessons. 414 00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:56,790 I understand now the mistakes I made, 415 00:20:56,790 --> 00:21:00,240 because I had been paying attention 416 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,850 to all of the wrong things. 417 00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:06,470 I built that school from the outside-in, 418 00:21:06,470 --> 00:21:10,020 when what really mattered was the inside-out. 419 00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:13,630 So it's a lesson that applies to all of our lives as a whole. 420 00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:16,240 What matters most is what's inside. 421 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:20,400 What matters most is the sense of integrity, of quality, 422 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,510 and beauty. 423 00:21:21,510 --> 00:21:22,920 I got that lesson. 424 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,080 And what I know is that the girls came away with something, 425 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:26,750 too. 426 00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:30,320 They've emerged from this more resilient, and knowing 427 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,270 that their voices have power. 428 00:21:33,270 --> 00:21:34,770 And their resilience and spirit have 429 00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:38,360 given me more than I could ever give to them, which leads me 430 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:42,124 to my final lesson, the one about finding happiness-- which 431 00:21:42,124 --> 00:21:43,540 we could talk about all day, but I 432 00:21:43,540 --> 00:21:47,070 know you have other wacky things to do. 433 00:21:47,070 --> 00:21:50,270 Not a small topic this is, finding happiness. 434 00:21:50,270 --> 00:21:53,250 But in some ways, I think it's the simplest of all. 435 00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,580 Gwendolyn Brooks wrote a poem for her children. 436 00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:58,080 It's called "Speech to the Young, 437 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,050 Speech to the Progress-Toward." 438 00:22:01,050 --> 00:22:05,890 And she says at the end, live not for battles won. 439 00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:09,460 Live not for the end of the song. 440 00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:12,470 Live in the along. 441 00:22:12,470 --> 00:22:15,390 She's saying, like Eckhart Tolle, 442 00:22:15,390 --> 00:22:17,190 that you have to live for the present. 443 00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:20,310 You have to be in the moment. 444 00:22:20,310 --> 00:22:22,610 Whatever has happened to you in your past 445 00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:26,820 has no power over this present moment, because life is now. 446 00:22:26,820 --> 00:22:30,890 But I think she's also saying, be a part of something. 447 00:22:30,890 --> 00:22:34,200 Don't live for yourself alone. 448 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,860 This is what I know for sure. 449 00:22:36,860 --> 00:22:41,460 In order to be truly happy, you must live along with 450 00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:45,630 and you have to stand for something larger than yourself, 451 00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:49,150 because life is a reciprocal exchange. 452 00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:54,130 To move forward, you have to give back. 453 00:22:54,130 --> 00:22:57,100 And to me, that is the greatest lesson of life. 454 00:22:57,100 --> 00:23:02,307 To be happy, you have to give something back. 455 00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:11,950 I know you know that, because that's 456 00:23:11,950 --> 00:23:15,650 a lesson that's woven into the very fabric of this university. 457 00:23:15,650 --> 00:23:19,130 It's a lesson that Jane and Leland Stanford got 458 00:23:19,130 --> 00:23:22,380 and one they've bequeathed to you, because all of you 459 00:23:22,380 --> 00:23:25,840 know the story of how this great school came to be, 460 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,750 how the Stanfords lost their only child to typhoid 461 00:23:29,750 --> 00:23:31,520 at the age of 15. 462 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,800 They had every right and they had every reason 463 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,670 to turn their backs against the world at that time. 464 00:23:36,670 --> 00:23:41,260 But instead, they channeled their grief and their pain 465 00:23:41,260 --> 00:23:43,160 into an act of grace. 466 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,790 Within a year of their son's death, 467 00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:48,150 they'd made the founding grant for this great school, 468 00:23:48,150 --> 00:23:50,000 pledging to do for other people's children 469 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,150 what they were not able to do for their own boy. 470 00:23:53,150 --> 00:23:54,332 The lesson here is clear. 471 00:23:54,332 --> 00:23:55,790 And that is, if you're hurting, you 472 00:23:55,790 --> 00:23:58,420 need to help somebody else ease their hurt. 473 00:23:58,420 --> 00:24:01,440 If you're in pain, help somebody else's pain. 474 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,840 And when you're in a mess, you get yourself out of the mess 475 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,960 helping somebody out of theirs. 476 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,950 And in the process, you get to become 477 00:24:08,950 --> 00:24:12,700 a member of what I call the greatest fellowship of all, 478 00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:16,530 the sorority of compassion and the fraternity of service. 479 00:24:16,530 --> 00:24:21,330 The Stanfords had suffered the worst thing any mom and dad can 480 00:24:21,330 --> 00:24:24,140 ever endure, yet they understood that helping others 481 00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:25,560 is the way we help ourselves. 482 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,900 And this wisdom is increasingly supported 483 00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:30,990 by scientific and sociological research. 484 00:24:30,990 --> 00:24:34,520 It's no longer just woo-woo soft-skills talk. 485 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,815 There's actually a helper's high, a spiritual surge 486 00:24:37,815 --> 00:24:39,400 you gain from serving others. 487 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,050 So if you want to feel good, you have 488 00:24:41,050 --> 00:24:42,930 to go out and do some good. 489 00:24:42,930 --> 00:24:46,620 But when you do good, I hope you strive for more than just 490 00:24:46,620 --> 00:24:48,960 the good feeling that service provides, 491 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,790 because I know this for sure, that doing good actually 492 00:24:52,790 --> 00:24:54,870 makes you better. 493 00:24:54,870 --> 00:24:57,440 So whatever field you choose, if you 494 00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,430 operate from the paradigm of service, 495 00:25:00,430 --> 00:25:04,840 I know your life will have more value, and you will be happy. 496 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,760 I was always happy doing my talk show, 497 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:12,990 but that happiness reached a depth of fulfillment, 498 00:25:12,990 --> 00:25:18,060 of joy, that I really can't describe to you a measure when 499 00:25:18,060 --> 00:25:22,440 I stopped just being on TV and looking at TV as a job, 500 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:26,800 and decided to use television-- to use it and not 501 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:31,750 have it use me-- to use it as a platform to serve my viewers. 502 00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:36,800 That alone changed the trajectory of my success. 503 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,300 So I know this-- that whether you're an actor, 504 00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:43,840 you offer your talent in the way that most inspires art; 505 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:49,370 if you're an anatomist, you look at your gift as knowledge 506 00:25:49,370 --> 00:25:51,500 and service to healing; whether you've 507 00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:55,430 been called, as so many of you here today getting doctorates 508 00:25:55,430 --> 00:25:59,120 and other degrees to the profession of business, law, 509 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:04,320 engineering, humanities, science, medicine-- 510 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:11,320 if you choose to offer your skills and talent in service, 511 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:16,350 when you choose the paradigm of service, looking at your life 512 00:26:16,350 --> 00:26:22,230 through that paradigm, it turns everything you do from a job 513 00:26:22,230 --> 00:26:23,820 into a gift. 514 00:26:23,820 --> 00:26:26,320 And I know you haven't spent all this time at Stanford just 515 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,340 to go out and get a job. 516 00:26:28,340 --> 00:26:31,930 So you've been enriched in countless ways. 517 00:26:31,930 --> 00:26:34,410 There's no better way to make your mark on the world 518 00:26:34,410 --> 00:26:37,680 than to share that abundance with others. 519 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:43,920 My constant prayer for myself is to be used in service 520 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,690 for the greater good. 521 00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:48,640 So let me end with one of my favorite quotes 522 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,450 from Martin Luther King. 523 00:26:50,450 --> 00:26:53,670 Dr. King said, not everybody can be famous. 524 00:26:53,670 --> 00:26:56,470 And I don't know if-- everybody today seems 525 00:26:56,470 --> 00:26:58,900 to want to be famous, but fame is a trip. 526 00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:00,520 People follow you to the bathroom. 527 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,070 [LAUGHTER] 528 00:27:03,070 --> 00:27:04,185 Listen to you pee. 529 00:27:04,185 --> 00:27:06,620 [LAUGHTER] 530 00:27:06,620 --> 00:27:10,550 Try to pee quietly, it doesn't matter. 531 00:27:10,550 --> 00:27:13,270 They come out and say, oh my god, it's you. 532 00:27:13,270 --> 00:27:13,770 You peed. 533 00:27:13,770 --> 00:27:17,300 [LAUGHTER] 534 00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:18,295 That's the fame trip. 535 00:27:18,295 --> 00:27:21,780 So I don't know if you want that. 536 00:27:21,780 --> 00:27:27,260 So Dr. King said not everybody can be famous, 537 00:27:27,260 --> 00:27:29,870 but everybody can be great, because greatness 538 00:27:29,870 --> 00:27:32,661 is determined by service. 539 00:27:32,661 --> 00:27:34,410 Yet, those of you who are history scholars 540 00:27:34,410 --> 00:27:35,826 may know the rest of that passage. 541 00:27:35,826 --> 00:27:39,392 He said, you don't have to have a college degree to serve. 542 00:27:39,392 --> 00:27:40,850 You don't have to make your subject 543 00:27:40,850 --> 00:27:42,600 and verb agree to serve. 544 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:46,240 You don't have to know about Plato or Aristotle to serve. 545 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,100 You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity 546 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:50,130 to serve. 547 00:27:50,130 --> 00:27:52,900 You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics 548 00:27:52,900 --> 00:27:54,620 in physics to serve. 549 00:27:54,620 --> 00:27:56,790 You only need a heart full of grace 550 00:27:56,790 --> 00:27:59,410 and a soul generated by love. 551 00:27:59,410 --> 00:28:03,180 In a few moments, you'll all be officially Stanford grads '08 552 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:10,260 You have the heart and the smarts to go with it, 553 00:28:10,260 --> 00:28:13,940 and it's up to you to decide, really, where will you 554 00:28:13,940 --> 00:28:17,730 now use those gifts? 555 00:28:17,730 --> 00:28:20,120 You've got the diploma, so go out and get the lessons. 556 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:24,287 Because I know, great things are sure to come. 557 00:28:24,287 --> 00:28:26,620 You know, I've always believed that everything is better 558 00:28:26,620 --> 00:28:27,369 when you share it. 559 00:28:27,369 --> 00:28:30,340 So before I go, I wanted to share a graduation gift 560 00:28:30,340 --> 00:28:30,900 with you. 561 00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:35,230 Underneath your seats, you'll find two of my favorite books, 562 00:28:35,230 --> 00:28:37,790 Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth, which is my current book club 563 00:28:37,790 --> 00:28:40,530 selection-- our "New Earth" webcast has been downloaded 564 00:28:40,530 --> 00:28:44,110 30 million times with that book-- and Daniel Pink's 565 00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:48,170 A Whole New Mind-- Why Right Brainers Will Rule the Future, 566 00:28:48,170 --> 00:28:51,450 has reassured me I'm moving in the right direction. 567 00:28:51,450 --> 00:28:53,580 I really wanted to give you cars. 568 00:28:56,220 --> 00:28:58,170 But I just couldn't pull that off. 569 00:28:58,170 --> 00:29:01,353 Congratulations, [WHOOPING] '08.