Therapy: How to start and what to say #KatiFAQ

Hey everybody! Happy Thursday!

And it's a new year.

I've got a new do.

We've got new decorative items on the wall.

Some many things are changing.

We're actually painting some stuff in our bedroom.

I'm very excited. It's exciting!

And so Thursdays, if you haven't heard my previous video,

are kind of gonna be a whatever I want to do video.

And that is because often times I feel restricted

by it has to be an #FAQ

or it needs to be a journal topic

or I have to talk about the media

or honesty any of the things that we've done in the past.

I kind of want the ability,

I think my greatest hope is that I can do more like coffee and a chats with Kati.

Where maybe I sit down with a friend,

and I talk about a topic that I think is a good conversation to have.

Or I just get to riff on the things that maybe are happening in the media,

but I'm not giving you mental health advice.

I'm just talking about how I feel about things,

because in the end we're all human.

And I think that might be something really cool.

And let me know in the comments if you think that's a good idea.

I'm just kind of looking for new ways to communicate to you guys.

So yeah, so without further adieu today's topic is going to be just a regular Q & A,

because I really think this question is important.

And I really want all of you to hear it.

And if my voice sounds funny, it's because I'm fighting a cold.

I'm actually all better, but my voice isn't quite better.

So without further adieu.

The question says "Hey Kati. If you go into therapy,

but don't know where to start when talking to them,

can you ask your therapist to lead the conversation

or ask you questions?

If they do, what type of questions will they ask to get the information out of you?

Thanks heaps."

Now first of all I like that they're like

"what will they ask to get the information out of you"

like we're just retrieving this information.

And first of all, yes it's very very normal to not know where to start.

To not know what to say.

I can't tell you how many times I get a new client in

and my first question will be something like

'Well, you called me a couple weeks ago to set up this appointment.

Do you want to tell me what's going on or what brought you in today?'

Very general, like what would you like to work on?

What's your struggle right now?

And they'll be like 'Uhh things are kind of stressful. I don't know'

And that's fine. That's very normal.

It happens all the time.

And so at that point it's the therapist's job to read people well.

And I'll notice, and be like hey, you know, okay

they're not quite sure how to verbalize what they're feeling.

And maybe it will take a little time.

And so I will start off by going through your intake paperwork with you.

Almost every therapist will have you come 10 minutes before

your first appointment to fill out some basic paperwork.

It's usually like have you been to see a therapist before,

have you been on medication, have you worked on things,

and just basic information.

And some of it's like sign here to,

these are your rights, blah blah blah, legal stuff.

So I'll go through that with them.

And say 'it says you've been to a therapist or not.

You know what was your experience?'

Then I'll start asking about general life things.

'Tell me about school. Are you in school or do you have a job?

Are you in a relationship with anyone?

Do you want to tell me a little bit about that?'

Friends, I'll ask about friends and family.

And I'll usually, you know, get to kind of putting together

a little bit about who this person is and what they're about.

And it can take a little time,

but usually in asking those questions I will run into some road block,

where they'll be like 'Oh my mom, oh I don't, I don't want to talk about my mom,

but my sister … ' and they'll go on.

Right, so there's, mom may be an issue of concern.

Maybe bring it up later.

Or they'll say something like

'Oh I just got fired from my job. I've been really stressed out.

I did want to talk to you about sliding scale, so I can afford this.'

Boop, another red flag. Job. Just lost their job.

It might be an issue of concern.

It might be why they called.

These are all things that I'm trained to do.

And it's okay to not know how to start, because that's my job.

And those are the kind of questions I would ask.

Now every therapist is gonna be different,

and they're gonna have a different way of

making you feel comfortable and starting the conversation.

And just getting to know you.

But think of the first therapy appointment as kind of like a first date.

I as a therapist don't know anything about you,

so I'm gonna try my best to get to know you. Okay?

And that's just how it works.

And if you ever feel uncomfortable like they're moving too fast.

They're asking too many questions about this certain thing.

I'm just starting to freak out or dissociate or anything, tell them.

You can stop it.

You're in control as a client.

I've had many clients be like

'I don't want to do that. Don't want to talk about that. Hard stop. Hard pass.'

I've heard all of these different phrases and all these different ways,

Even visibly, some of my clients will like curl up

and they don't want to talk about it.

You can express that 'cause that's okay too.

This is your therapy. We go at your pace.

We talk about the things you want to talk about when you wanna talk about them.

And yeah, I'm gonna challenge you, but it's all within reason.

So make sure you express that if that's how you're feeling.

But otherwise we're just gonna try to get to know you and take notes,

so that we can remember the little red flags that popped up.

And help you better communicate, better manage your life,

better overcome stress, better manage your eating disorder or urges,

whatever it may be.

We're going to do our best to find out and help you.

I hope you found this helpful.

If you have any advice of things

that have happened in your first therapy appointment.

If you remember how they got the information out of you, leave it below.

And like I said, don't forget to subscribe

'cause I put out videos all the time.

You don't want to miss them.

And if you like this kind of setup

or you like the idea of Thursdays being kind of whatever,

give it a thumbs up!

Okay, I love you all.

I'll see you on Monday. Bye!