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Hey everybody! Happy Thursday!

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And it's a new year.

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I've got a new do.

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We've got new decorative items on the wall.

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Some many things are changing.

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We're actually painting some stuff in our bedroom.

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I'm very excited. It's exciting!

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And so Thursdays, if you haven't heard my previous video,

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are kind of gonna be a whatever I want to do video.

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And that is because often times I feel restricted

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by it has to be an #FAQ

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or it needs to be a journal topic

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or I have to talk about the media

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or honesty any of the things that we've done in the past.

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I kind of want the ability,

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I think my greatest hope is that I can do more like coffee and a chats with Kati.

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Where maybe I sit down with a friend,

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and I talk about a topic that I think is a good conversation to have.

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Or I just get to riff on the things that maybe are happening in the media,

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but I'm not giving you mental health advice.

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I'm just talking about how I feel about things,

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because in the end we're all human.

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And I think that might be something really cool.

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And let me know in the comments if you think that's a good idea.

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I'm just kind of looking for new ways to communicate to you guys.

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So yeah, so without further adieu today's topic is going to be just a regular Q & A,

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because I really think this question is important.

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And I really want all of you to hear it.

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And if my voice sounds funny, it's because I'm fighting a cold.

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I'm actually all better, but my voice isn't quite better.

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So without further adieu.

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The question says "Hey Kati. If you go into therapy,

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but don't know where to start when talking to them,

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can you ask your therapist to lead the conversation

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or ask you questions?

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If they do, what type of questions will they ask to get the information out of you?

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Thanks heaps."

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Now first of all I like that they're like

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"what will they ask to get the information out of you"

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like we're just retrieving this information.

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And first of all, yes it's very very normal to not know where to start.

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To not know what to say.

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I can't tell you how many times I get a new client in

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and my first question will be something like

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'Well, you called me a couple weeks ago to set up this appointment.

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Do you want to tell me what's going on or what brought you in today?'

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Very general, like what would you like to work on?

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What's your struggle right now?

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And they'll be like 'Uhh things are kind of stressful. I don't know'

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And that's fine. That's very normal.

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It happens all the time.

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And so at that point it's the therapist's job to read people well.

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And I'll notice, and be like hey, you know, okay

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they're not quite sure how to verbalize what they're feeling.

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And maybe it will take a little time.

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And so I will start off by going through your intake paperwork with you.

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Almost every therapist will have you come 10 minutes before

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your first appointment to fill out some basic paperwork.

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It's usually like have you been to see a therapist before,

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have you been on medication, have you worked on things,

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and just basic information.

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And some of it's like sign here to,

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these are your rights, blah blah blah, legal stuff.

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So I'll go through that with them.

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And say 'it says you've been to a therapist or not.

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You know what was your experience?'

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Then I'll start asking about general life things.

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'Tell me about school. Are you in school or do you have a job?

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Are you in a relationship with anyone?

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Do you want to tell me a little bit about that?'

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Friends, I'll ask about friends and family.

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And I'll usually, you know, get to kind of putting together

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a little bit about who this person is and what they're about.

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And it can take a little time,

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but usually in asking those questions I will run into some road block,

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where they'll be like 'Oh my mom, oh I don't, I don't want to talk about my mom,

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but my sister … ' and they'll go on.

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Right, so there's, mom may be an issue of concern.

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Maybe bring it up later.

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Or they'll say something like

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'Oh I just got fired from my job. I've been really stressed out.

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I did want to talk to you about sliding scale, so I can afford this.'

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Boop, another red flag. Job. Just lost their job.

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It might be an issue of concern.

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It might be why they called.

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These are all things that I'm trained to do.

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And it's okay to not know how to start, because that's my job.

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And those are the kind of questions I would ask.

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Now every therapist is gonna be different,

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and they're gonna have a different way of

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making you feel comfortable and starting the conversation.

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And just getting to know you.

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But think of the first therapy appointment as kind of like a first date.

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I as a therapist don't know anything about you,

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so I'm gonna try my best to get to know you. Okay?

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And that's just how it works.

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And if you ever feel uncomfortable like they're moving too fast.

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They're asking too many questions about this certain thing.

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I'm just starting to freak out or dissociate or anything, tell them.

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You can stop it.

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You're in control as a client.

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I've had many clients be like

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'I don't want to do that. Don't want to talk about that. Hard stop. Hard pass.'

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I've heard all of these different phrases and all these different ways,

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Even visibly, some of my clients will like curl up

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and they don't want to talk about it.

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You can express that 'cause that's okay too.

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This is your therapy. We go at your pace.

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We talk about the things you want to talk about when you wanna talk about them.

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And yeah, I'm gonna challenge you, but it's all within reason.

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So make sure you express that if that's how you're feeling.

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But otherwise we're just gonna try to get to know you and take notes,

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so that we can remember the little red flags that popped up.

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And help you better communicate, better manage your life,

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better overcome stress, better manage your eating disorder or urges,

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whatever it may be.

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We're going to do our best to find out and help you.

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I hope you found this helpful.

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If you have any advice of things

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that have happened in your first therapy appointment.

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If you remember how they got the information out of you, leave it below.

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And like I said, don't forget to subscribe

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'cause I put out videos all the time.

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You don't want to miss them.

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And if you like this kind of setup

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or you like the idea of Thursdays being kind of whatever,

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give it a thumbs up!

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Okay, I love you all.

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I'll see you on Monday. Bye!