How can I stop behaving as a victim?

(Half bell)

(Bell)

Dear Thay,

I'm very grateful for your teaching
that is helping me over time,

learn ways to transform my feeling
that I am a victim.

I realize that I am transmitting the
thinking and behavior of being a victim

from my Jewish and my Native American
ancestors who sufferred greatly.

And from this practise, I have learned
to cultivate understanding

and I believe, have loving my heart
for people who have hurt me

but my question is, perhaps,
how you might advice

that I can act and behave in a way
that I do not behave as a victim.

And sometimes it is just a simple thing,
I regret that even times,

here in the retreat, around many
wonderful people that are my friends

but I feel like I have maybe
some disconnection.

It is easier for me to just walk away
and not look at them.

And then later I think,
perhaps I am behaving as a victim

because I want to walk by them
or say hello.

And perhaps, if you please advice me

on a better way to not behaving
as a victim.

The key of the problem is
how to see the suffering in them.

Of course there is suffering
in these people.

If they are happy,
they would not behave like that.

Behave in such a way
that make you suffer

and feel you are the victim.

So, look and see that they are victims
of their own suffering.

And so far, no one has been able
to help them to suffer less.

You may be the first person
who can help them.

That is process, looking deeply
to see the suffering in them,

to see that they don't know
how to transform the suffering

that no one so far has helped them
to transform the suffering

and they continue to suffer

and you only suffer with them.

If you have that kind of insight
and compassion in you

and you behave not as a victim
but as a Bodhisatva.

Instead of trying to run away,
you want to stay and help.

because you know
you have the capacity to help.

Compassion goes together
with happiness.

A scientist have found out that the energy
of compassion can heal your body,

reduce inflammation and
pain in your body.

Not only compassion can heal the mind,
but also heal the body.

When you are happy,
you are peaceful,

you have more energy

and with happiness as energy and
compassion as the other kind of energy,

you are ready to stay and
to help them suffer less.

If you have had the experience of helping
other people, you have the confidence

that in this way, you can help

and you will not have the idea
of running away.

Thank you.

(Half bell)

(Bell)