-
(pensive music)
(wind whistles)
-
- [Esteban] The way that
my paintings develop
-
is in a very intuitive
approach of what I feel,
-
what I respond to, but also
searching for who I am.
-
Growing up along the border
-
and not being connected
to a lot of my heritage,
-
I have had to find it on my own.
-
The process of art as being
like a healing gesture
-
of connecting to these histories,
-
but then also reconnecting my
relationship back to the land
-
and to learning these histories
before we lose them to time.
-
(clock ticks)
(pensive music continues)
-
(wind whistles)
-
(water trickles)
-
The way my process works
is based on the concept
-
of a tesseract, where you
have four different layers
-
or four different dimensions inside of it.
-
First, I start out by dyeing
the canvas with cochineal.
-
Cochineal dye operates as
almost like an astral plane
-
that looks similar to the
way physicists map space.
-
These spiral forms in my
paintings are about solstices.
-
Indigenous societies had the capability
-
of modeling time without
industrial technology,
-
and then building up the next image
-
where I'm thinking about
pre-colonial histories
-
and what advanced structures predate 1492.
-
The third layer involves
observational painting
-
that I do on site.
-
- Yeah, that's looking pretty good.
-
- [Esteban] Heidi's been
my partner for 10 years.
-
I'm asking for feedback,
-
but I'm also giving support where I can
-
with Heidi's process.
-
The fourth layer that
I do is thinking about
-
a post-colonial future where
it's optimistic and healing.
-
These layers don't sit
parallel to one another
-
because there are multiple
dimensions that are existing
-
alongside of all of us.
-
Painting is that device
that can defy time.
-
(clock ticks)
-
What I want my viewer to
experience is this paradox
-
where you can go backwards in time.
-
(wind rushes)
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I think the land speaks to
you when you're looking at it.
-
(cicadas chirruping)
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Why I continue to go back to New Mexico
-
is to reconnect with my past.
-
My father's family was from New Mexico,
-
and my mom's from San Ysidro, California,
-
but born in Tijuana.
-
I can't really explain
how much spiritual freedom
-
I sense when I'm there.
-
I go outdoor painting,
doing plein-air painting,
-
and in some ways it's about endurance.
-
You go out to a specific
site with a certain intention
-
but then nature guides you.
-
Time is shifting also.
-
Not only am I kind of building
these multiple dimensions,
-
I'm also literally chasing after light.
-
(footsteps crunch)
-
(birds chirp)
-
(clock ticks)
(gentle music)
-
Landscape painting for me, feels like
-
what all of our ancestors
used to do in the caves.
-
That's where we all began
thinking about space
-
but not severing it.
-
Colonial era painting came
into the United States
-
with the project of showing
how nature needs to be tamed
-
and all the savages need to be converted
-
and turned into men.
-
What I'm trying to do with
my work is deconstruct
-
what we're seeing.
-
Who used to live there,
who still lives there.
-
How do I utilize the language
of painting to expand
-
our vision of where we could
think about space and time.
-
Landscape painting can
start two dimensionally
-
but I think it could also expand
out into a whole worldview
-
to treat people in more equitable ways.
-
(subway announcer speaks)
(gentle orchestral music)
-
(train clacks)
-
(clock ticks)
-
It's crazy how much more fencing
-
they kind of put up around here
-
since we last were here, Mom?
- Oh yeah.
-
We used to consider this
a place where you could
-
just like, really run around
-
and especially when you're kids.
-
I would have never expected
-
that what I took as natural
and day-to-day, would change.
-
- [Esteban] It's weird to
just be here and making it
-
an image that we've seen
so much in mass media.
-
What can I say about it that isn't just
-
like something that's trying to define us?
-
- I think the privilege of having lived
-
a long life is that you know
that that is not permanent.
-
- Yeah.
-
- That at some point that
fence is going to go down,
-
but I have to bring back
a memory of this space
-
without the fences because
otherwise I go crazy.
-
You know, it's just really hard.
-
It's just really hard
-
to see the fences.
- Yeah, (sniffs)
-
thank you for sharing that, Mom.
-
We have to express it though too,
-
in order to get past it and imagine
-
something bigger than it.
-
(gentle music)
(clock ticks)
-
- We never knew if they
were coming for coffee.
-
(speaks in Spanish)
- Or spending the night.
-
- Spending the night or-
- Some of the core themes
-
of my work are about freedom.
-
(pensive music)
-
Freedom to really express yourself
-
and your relationship to
space and the environment.
-
Justice, how can you
do justice to the past?
-
And I think, also joy.
-
(gentle piano music continues)
-
I didn't start speaking till I was five
-
so painting was that way
for me to communicate
-
with other people.
-
I didn't have to explain myself.
-
Painting has always been
that method to go backwards
-
in time into that mode
of the five-year-old,
-
where I'm just feeling.
-
There's no words for it.