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The Bachelor Full Movie Romantic Comedy Chris O'Donnell Renée Zellweger

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    oh, give me land, lots of land
    under starry skies above
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    Don't fence me in
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    Let me ride through
    the wide open country that I love
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    Don't fence me in
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    Let me be by myself
    in the evening breeze
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    Listen to the murmur
    of the cottonwood trees
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    Send me off forever
    But I ask you, please
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    Don't fence me in
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    Don't fence me in
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    Just turn me loose
    Let me straddle my own saddle
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    Underneath the Western skies
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    on my cayuse
    let me wander over yonder
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    Till I see the mountains rise
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    I want to ride to the ridge
    where the West commences
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    Gaze at the moon
    until I lose my senses
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    In his heart, every man
    is a wild, untamed mustang.
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    Now, that may sound pretty stupid.
    It may even be pretty stupid.
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    But it's true...
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    more or less.
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    I mean, in Africa men
    are probably leopards or rhinos.
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    In India, I'm sure
    they're Bengal tigers.
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    Here we go.
    one, two... What's next?
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    And even here in America
    not all men go for mustangs.
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    Jimmie, we gotta talk.
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    My friend Marco...
    he's a wolf.
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    He says the symbol of manhood
    shouldn't be a vegetarian.
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    Listen to what Rita
    said to me last night.
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    "In the future,
    let's avoid Thai food".
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    What, too much lemongrass?
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    No, she said "future".
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    Everybody I know says "future".
    Sanzel, you say "future"?
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    Future.
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    - Hodgman? Bolt? Stone? "Future"?
    - Future.
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    - There you go.
    - They're not women!
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    So, mustangs.
    Mustanghood.
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    It's a feeling
    of complete freedom.
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    You're young, you're strong,
    you have no one to answer to.
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    Nothing to do
    but run the open plain.
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    And your whole life is centered
    on one primal force...
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    the endless quest for...
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    Let's stick with the analogy.
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    Call it "sweet grasses".
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    A mustang is driven to get
    as much grass as possible...
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    and a variety.
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    Tall grasses, shorter grasses...
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    dark grass, blond grass.
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    You spend your days in a constant search
    for that next succulent patch.
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    It's a beautiful life.
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    Don't fence me in
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    That's how women start... dropping words
    like "future" into casual conversation.
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    Next thing,
    you're drunk at a PTA meeting.
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    Wait till you're in love and your balls
    are in a vise. Then you'll see.
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    Future.
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    What do you mean, we're not compatible?
    You don't like me anymore?
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    of course I do.
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    I more than like you.
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    - But...
    - Wow. That's great.
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    So we'll just keep dating.
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    - Waitress.
    - In a second.
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    - So I broke up with him.
    - What?
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    Jimmie, can you think of
    one good reason not to see me?
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    - "I'm sorry, but it's over.
    - Well...
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    - I have work commitments up the wazoo...
    - I have work commitments up the wazoo.
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    and, well,
    I'm raising my standards".
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    Then just stop working.
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    Wasting your time.
    That makes no sense.
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    - Have you seen what's out there?
    - This is great lettuce.
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    Anne, by the year 2010
    women will outnumber men four to one.
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    I don't wanna waste your time.
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    - It's not your fault that...
    - Completely self-centered.
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    you're self-centered.
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    Well, I'm so sorry I took you away
    from your stupid pool tables.
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    Just don't meet and break up with a guy
    before I get home, okay?
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    - See ya.
    - Bye.
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    I enjoyed...
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    I'm sorry.
    Did you say something to me?
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    I said, I enjoyed
    having lunch with you.
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    We should do it again sometime.
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    The minute I met Anne,
    we sparked...
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    in a way that was
    completely new to me.
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    She was as relaxed
    and independent as I was.
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    I mean, we had the perfect
    laid-back relationship.
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    And before we knew it,
    we'd been together for a year.
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    Actually, we both forgot,
    so we celebrated a week later.
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    That's how easy everything was.
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    My friends,
    well, they were less fortunate.
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    okay, hold on a second.
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    Ladies and gentlemen,
    it is time for...
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    the bouquet toss.
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    - If I could get all the single ladies...
    - Let's get out of here.
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    No, I wanna see this.
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    All the single women?
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    Marco?
    Could be your lucky day, buddy.
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    In high school
    maybe you read The Lottery.
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    That's the story about this small town
    that draws lots every year...
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    and whoever gets chosen
    becomes a human sacrifice.
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    That's the bouquet toss.
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    oh, fuck.
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    The lottery for weddings.
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    Sanzel never had a chance.
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    It became a terrifying cycle.
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    Each wedding meant a bouquet.
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    Each bouquet was like an airborne spore
    bearing the seeds of the next wedding.
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    one future led to another.
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    our numbers dwindled.
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    And dwindled.
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    But Anne, she was as beautiful
    and as carefree as ever.
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    - It's terrifying!
    - No, this is fun!
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    - I love this!
    - I love it when you act brave.
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    Come here, you.
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    So cute.
    Turns me on.
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    - Really?
    - Yeah.
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    Just something to keep in mind
    for the future.
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    That's right.
    The "F" word.
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    So here we are.
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    What good did all that talk
    of mustangs do me?
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    Me and my wife!
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    You think I don't know
    where that thing's heading?
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    May I have all the ladies in the house
    on this side of the room.
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    We're about to toss the bouquet.
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    Today's human sacrifice
    is yours truly.
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    Future.
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    I've outlasted the rest of them,
    and I'm kinda proud of that.
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    Easy, boy.
    Nothing to fear.
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    My mustang days were about
    to become a distant memory.
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    So long, sweet grasses.
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    About damn time.
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    You kept me waiting a long time
    for this, Jimmie. You know that?
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    As my last surviving descendant...
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    you have a sacred duty...
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    to pass on my genetic material.
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    That's a lovely sentiment.
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    For a time I thought
    you was gonna fail me...
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    the way your father did.
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    I wouldn't say Dad failed you.
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    My only child, and what does he
    leave me with? one miserable grandson.
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    'Cause he died
    in a building collapse.
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    He always had excuses
    for everything he did, didn't he?
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    Procreate!
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    Jimmie, have a look at this.
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    oh, yeah.
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    There we go.
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    That is your grandma's
    engagement ring.
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    I only hope that your woman friend
    has fat fingers.
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    Has she been examined...
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    by a qualified doctor?
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    Is she fertile?
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    We're both very healthy,
    and I love her.
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    Love don't exist.
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    Here, take that.
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    There's only
    the endocrine response.
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    And that...
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    only lasts five years, maximum...
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    according to the great scientists.
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    That's the reason
    you should breed right now.
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    Steak?
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    What scientists?
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    Take that.
    Read it.
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    As time goes on passing
    and withers...
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    sex becomes rarer and rarer...
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    and rarer.
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    Finally, all you're left with
    is this cold, chaste...
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    loveless shell called marriage...
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    and the incessant irritation
    of fatherhood.
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    The bills keep mounting.
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    And if you don't believe me...
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    ask the next-door neighbor.
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    I tell you, Jimmie...
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    to sacrifice your happiness
    for your descendants...
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    there's a term for that.
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    The human condition!
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    Stripes wins, I propose.
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    And solids?
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    I don't know.
    Fake choking on a piece of steak.
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    For three weeks now
    you been carrying that ring around...
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    staring at it, taking Anne
    out to dinner, not proposing to her.
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    It's gotta end.
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    It's ten of.
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    Yeah, and the Starlight Room's
    five minutes away.
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    The Starlight Room?
    That's where you're taking Anne?
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    So?
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    Every human being on Earth knows there's
    only one reason a single man under 50...
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    takes a woman
    to the Starlight Room.
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    To pop the question.
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    Jimmie Shannon.
    Just the man I'm looking for.
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    What do you say, Marco?
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    A word in your ear.
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    Talked to your grandfather
    this morning.
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    oden Sports sent my office
    a formal offer to buy the company.
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    I know. We're cutting
    into their market share.
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    They wanna buy us out, steal our
    client list and then close us down.
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    Shannon Billiards
    is not for sale.
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    How about we continue this conversation
    over some eight ball?
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    Market's up
    and I got dollars to shed.
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    Sorry, Sid, but we're going
    through kind of a crisis.
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    Jimmie's supposed to propose,
    and he's lost his nerve.
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    Anne's a catch.
    Who needs nerve?
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    Let me guess.
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    The grizzly bear thing.
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    You know, the manly sense that
    you're master of all you survey...
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    like a grizzly bear.
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    Mustang.
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    Wolf.
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    The question is,
    do you want to be married?
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    - I love Anne.
    - Never mind love.
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    Imagine two different cities...
    Husbandtown and Bachelorville.
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    Which would you want to live in?
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    Any guy's gonna choose Bachelorville.
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    Right?
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    Most men come to want
    the ball and chain.
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    Me, I was like you.
    I love freedom.
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    Which is why my marriage
    is a miserable failure.
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    Roy, dry up.
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    Listen...
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    marriage is the most
    exquisite expression...
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    of the human spirit.
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    A good proposal
    comes not only from love...
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    but from the desire
    to be a husband.
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    Without that desire...
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    better wait till you're ready.
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    I wish I could, Sid...
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    but...
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    the thing is...
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    Anne and l
    have officially reached...
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    that place.
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    You mean...
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    Shit or get off the pot.
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    You sure?
    What are the factors?
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    Anne caught a bridal bouquet
    last month.
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    Serious,
    but hardly critical.
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    Tonight's the third anniversary
    of our first date.
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    I got dinner reservations
    at 8:00.
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    Even so...
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    At the Starlight Room.
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    oh.
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    I don't even know how to propose.
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    Do I kneel?
    What do I say?
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    Wait for the Dom Pérignon to arrive
    and the thing will take care of itself.
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    What Dom Pérignon?
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    After the meal, when the waiter brings
    the champagne, just mumble something.
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    It'll all be over with
    just like that.
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    Just the rest of your life
    to worry about!
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    Good knowing you!
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    Thanks, brother.
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    Your Dom Pérignon, sir.
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    The first time
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    Ever I saw
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    Your face
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    I thought the earth
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    Moved in my hand
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    Well, I have...
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    kind of a special toast.
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    It's been three years
    since our first date.
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    Time has really gone by fast.
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    Yep.
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    over the past few weeks
    I've been doing some thinking.
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    Mainly thinking about...
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    the human condition.
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    A lot of life comes down to
    making sacrifices...
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    and deciding which direction
    is my life gonna go.
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    Your mouth
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    Could you please leave?
    Thank you very much.
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    - You okay?
    - Yeah.
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    A lot of life comes down to deciding,
    what am I willing to sacrifice?
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    Because, obviously...
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    if you choose one path in life,
    you can't choose the other.
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    That's kind of where
    I found myself lately...
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    ever since we...
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    you and l, in our relationship...
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    have reached...
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    that place.
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    "That place".
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    The upshot is...
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    you win.
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    "You win"?
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    Was that a proposal?
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    Well, "you win" was just
    the last part of it.
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    The whole thing was a proposal.
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    The "you win" had context.
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    Aren't you even gonna look at it?
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    First, can we retrace the mental steps
    that led to "you win"?
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    Like when you say that you and l
    have reached "that place". What place?
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    You know what I mean.
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    Shit or get off the pot?
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    Did you really just say
    "shit or get off the pot"...
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    right here in the Starlight Room?
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    What is the big deal?
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    Why couldn't you have just said
    "Fish or cut bait"?
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    We always say "shit or get off the pot".
    Everybody does.
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    Not in the Starlight Room.
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    What is it
    with the Starlight Room?
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    Magic, Jimmie!
    Romance?
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    You know, the whole reason
    you come up here to propose?
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    See the city lights, have a wonderful
    meal, listen to beautiful music.
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    It casts this romantic spell.
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    But when you say
    "shit or get off the pot"...
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    all that magic
    just suddenly disappears...
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    and all you have left
    is bowel trouble.
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    Well, I'm sorry.
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    I didn't think you'd get so upset
    over a figure of speech.
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    It's not the words, Jimmie.
    It's the whole approach.
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    God, it's as if you deliberately...
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    What?
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    You don't want to marry me,
    do you?
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    I just proposed to you.
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    But the way you proposed,
    you weren't asking me to marry you.
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    You were asking me to say "no".
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    Just put it on, all right?
    Please?
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    You don't want to be married,
    Jimmie.
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    And I don't want to be married
    to a guy who doesn't want to be married.
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    Anne, come here.
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    You know that I love you.
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    It's just...
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    Can't we just leave things
    the way they are?
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    Just for a while.
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    Hey, sis.
    How was the Starlight Room?
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    What, he didn't ask?
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    oh, yeah, he asked.
    Barely.
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    Anne, I'm confused. Shouldn't we be
    phoning home and popping the champagne?
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    He botched it!
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    The worst proposal.
    Really!
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    Maybe the worst proposal
    of all time.
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    But you love the guy.
    How bad could it be?
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    How's this for romantic?
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    "You win".
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    - You win what?
    - Nothing.
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    Just "you win".
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    Like the last three years
    have been a poker game...
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    and I was holding
    whatever it is that you hold...
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    when you win.
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    "You win".
    God, that's brutal.
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    Could you stop saying it,
    please?
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    Stop it!
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    - Was he hammered?
    - You'd think so. No.
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    Everything was perfect.
    Really perfect.
  • 21:27 - 21:31
    You know, the music and the view.
  • 21:31 - 21:33
    Everything but his proposal.
  • 21:34 - 21:37
    Maybe he wrote down a beautiful speech
    on a small piece of paper...
  • 21:37 - 21:38
    and lost it.
  • 21:39 - 21:41
    Natalie.
  • 21:41 - 21:46
    This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing,
    and not just for me... for him too.
  • 21:46 - 21:48
    You know, all I wanted...
  • 21:49 - 21:52
    was for him to want to do it right,
    and he didn't.
  • 21:52 - 21:55
    And that says everything.
  • 21:57 - 21:58
    You get it.
  • 22:07 - 22:10
    Do you know
    that in the year 2020...
  • 22:10 - 22:13
    women are gonna outnumber men
    four to one?
  • 22:13 - 22:16
    And you will only have
    three childbearing years left.
  • 22:17 - 22:19
    Anne, talk to him.
  • 22:21 - 22:22
    Answer the phone.
  • 23:10 - 23:12
    Here, another dozen roses.
  • 23:12 - 23:15
    Gee, Jimmie,
    like old times again, huh?
  • 23:15 - 23:17
    Not quite.
  • 23:17 - 23:21
    Look at you, savoring all of those
    wild flings you had as a wolf.
  • 23:21 - 23:23
    - I'm not savoring.
    - At least he's romantic.
  • 23:23 - 23:25
    When's the last time
    you bought Rita flowers?
  • 23:25 - 23:27
    She's allergic.
  • 23:29 - 23:31
    Listen, instead of
    sending a dozen a day...
  • 23:31 - 23:34
    just send her
    a couple hundred thousand at once.
  • 23:34 - 23:36
    For all the good it'll do you.
  • 23:36 - 23:41
    Max, I have him to give me this shit.
    From you, I'd just like the flowers.
  • 23:41 - 23:42
    okay.
  • 23:42 - 23:44
    I'm just telling you,
    man to man...
  • 23:44 - 23:47
    what you said in the Starlight Room
    was really bad.
  • 23:47 - 23:50
    - If you wanna make up with someone...
    - Just one second.
  • 23:50 - 23:52
    Who told you?
  • 23:52 - 23:54
    What does it matter?
  • 23:54 - 23:58
    'Cause it's personal, and it's not
    a story I want a lot of people knowing.
  • 23:58 - 24:00
    Who told you
    about the Starlight Room?
  • 24:00 - 24:03
    What, the "shit or get off the pot"
    proposal?
  • 24:03 - 24:05
    - I heard about it from my dentist.
    - Excuse me?
  • 24:05 - 24:07
    My wife told me that story
    last night.
  • 24:07 - 24:11
    - Son of a bitch insulted Barry White.
    - That was a woman singing, you idiot.
  • 24:11 - 24:15
    My analyst couldn't stop mentioning it.
    It's a bunch of crap, if you ask me.
  • 24:15 - 24:16
    Who was there, you or me?
  • 24:17 - 24:18
    My best friend's
    stepsister's cousin...
  • 24:19 - 24:20
    was the maitre 'd.
  • 24:21 - 24:22
    You should know, Jimmie.
  • 24:23 - 24:26
    Your proposal, it's become
    an instant urban legend.
  • 24:29 - 24:33
    I'd hate to think what happens
    if this gets back to my grandfather.
  • 24:35 - 24:36
    Amen.
  • 24:36 - 24:40
    They said he had no pulse,
    no brain waves, nothing.
  • 24:41 - 24:43
    Then he opened his eyes...
  • 24:43 - 24:46
    sat straight up
    and called the doctor a scum-sucker.
  • 24:48 - 24:51
    After death?
    Is that possible?
  • 24:51 - 24:53
    They said it was a reflex.
  • 25:03 - 25:05
    How you holding up?
  • 25:06 - 25:08
    That's funny.
  • 25:08 - 25:12
    He was a difficult guy. I don't
    know anyone that actually liked him.
  • 25:12 - 25:15
    But he was the only family
    I had left.
  • 25:15 - 25:17
    Jimmie, can I see you a second?
  • 25:23 - 25:25
    Well...
  • 25:25 - 25:27
    he's with God now.
  • 25:30 - 25:33
    Any chance you could come
    to the office tomorrow morning?
  • 25:33 - 25:35
    - Yeah. Is anything wrong?
    - No, not at all.
  • 25:35 - 25:39
    As you know, I'm executor
    of your grandfather's will.
  • 25:39 - 25:43
    He videotaped it a few years back.
    Very hush-hush.
  • 25:43 - 25:45
    Guess we oughta take a look.
  • 25:45 - 25:47
    I'll be there.
  • 25:53 - 25:54
    Human condi...
  • 25:58 - 26:01
    Can I have a minute, please?
  • 26:01 - 26:03
    Alone?
  • 26:06 - 26:08
    Thank you.
  • 26:16 - 26:19
    I'm sorry about your granddad.
  • 26:21 - 26:23
    These are beautiful.
  • 26:39 - 26:43
    okay. I just wanted
    to tell you I was sorry.
  • 26:44 - 26:45
    Where are you going?
  • 26:45 - 26:46
    Gonna go...
  • 26:47 - 26:48
    water my apartment.
  • 26:48 - 26:51
    So, where does that leave us?
  • 26:53 - 26:56
    Let's just say
    the door's not closed.
  • 26:56 - 26:58
    So it's open.
  • 26:58 - 26:59
    No.
  • 27:00 - 27:01
    It's ajar.
  • 27:01 - 27:04
    okay, so I'm at
    this mystery door.
  • 27:04 - 27:05
    What if I push it open?
  • 27:07 - 27:08
    Can't be pushed.
  • 27:08 - 27:10
    How about if I knock?
  • 27:11 - 27:14
    If it's a nice knock,
    I might answer.
  • 27:18 - 27:20
    You can close that door
    behind you.
  • 27:23 - 27:26
    Before I read
    my last will and testament...
  • 27:26 - 27:29
    I just want to make
    one or two observations...
  • 27:29 - 27:33
    to them who whatsoever
    should be listening.
  • 27:34 - 27:36
    I'm now old...
  • 27:36 - 27:39
    and one day you too
    are gonna be old...
  • 27:39 - 27:43
    and you'll spend
    half your time sleepin'...
  • 27:43 - 27:46
    and the other half eatin'.
  • 27:46 - 27:48
    That was delicious.
  • 27:48 - 27:50
    And then you'll die.
  • 27:52 - 27:53
    Ever the gentleman.
  • 27:53 - 27:55
    Don't shush me.
  • 27:55 - 27:57
    - Guys.
    - l, James Shannon the first...
  • 27:58 - 28:01
    What the hell are you doin'?
  • 28:01 - 28:03
    Who told you to zoom in?
  • 28:03 - 28:05
    Back off!
  • 28:07 - 28:08
    oh, for Pete's sake.
  • 28:08 - 28:11
    I hereby bequeath
    my entire estate...
  • 28:11 - 28:13
    - "Estate".
    - to my grandson...
  • 28:13 - 28:15
    James Shannon the third.
  • 28:17 - 28:19
    That's a few thousand shares...
  • 28:19 - 28:22
    and quite a large stake...
  • 28:22 - 28:25
    in USDA cows.
  • 28:25 - 28:27
    Stake.
    Yeah, well, that's...
  • 28:27 - 28:29
    No pun intended.
  • 28:30 - 28:34
    Thanks to the exemplary eating habits
    of my fellow Americans...
  • 28:36 - 28:39
    my entire net worth today...
  • 28:39 - 28:42
    is just over...
  • 28:42 - 28:45
    a hundred million dollars.
  • 28:46 - 28:50
    That is a pretty hefty piece...
  • 28:50 - 28:52
    of "boof borgeegnon".
  • 28:55 - 28:56
    Yeah.
  • 29:00 - 29:02
    Breathe, fellas.
  • 29:04 - 29:06
    You want me to rewind?
  • 29:06 - 29:09
    Do you want me to pause?
    okay.
  • 29:09 - 29:12
    A hundred million dollars.
  • 29:12 - 29:16
    No? Then we'll talk
    about the conditions.
  • 29:16 - 29:19
    What is this, Brewster's Millions?
  • 29:19 - 29:21
    - Throw 'em at us!
    - You and me both!
  • 29:21 - 29:22
    Keep it down!
  • 29:22 - 29:26
    Now, you moron.
    Now's the time you can come in on me.
  • 29:26 - 29:28
    Come on!
  • 29:28 - 29:30
    The conditions are...
  • 29:30 - 29:32
    that he gets married...
  • 29:33 - 29:36
    that, to guarantee that the union...
  • 29:36 - 29:38
    isn't some shabby scam...
  • 29:38 - 29:42
    he and his wife remain married
    for at least ten years...
  • 29:43 - 29:46
    - Ten years?
    - one, zero...
  • 29:46 - 29:51
    spending no more than
    one night apart each month...
  • 29:51 - 29:54
    and that within five years...
  • 29:54 - 29:59
    they produce
    genetically verifiable offspring!
  • 30:01 - 30:03
    - I'd like to leave my grandson...
    - No way.
  • 30:03 - 30:05
    with one final thought.
  • 30:05 - 30:07
    Jimmie boy...
  • 30:08 - 30:10
    if you don't get married...
  • 30:10 - 30:14
    before 6:05 p.m....
  • 30:14 - 30:17
    on your 30th birthday...
  • 30:17 - 30:21
    that was the time
    you came into this world...
  • 30:21 - 30:24
    you're gonna get cut off...
  • 30:24 - 30:27
    without a goddamn cent and f...
  • 30:30 - 30:32
    I think we get the gist.
  • 30:32 - 30:34
    So when is the wedding?
  • 30:36 - 30:38
    oh, no.
  • 30:38 - 30:40
    The night we saw you
    at the showroom...
  • 30:40 - 30:43
    you were on your way to...
  • 30:43 - 30:46
    The Starlight Room?
    That was you?
  • 30:46 - 30:50
    Yep. That's right.
    I defiled the Starlight Room.
  • 30:50 - 30:53
    And you know what?
    I'm glad.
  • 30:53 - 30:54
    Forget the Starlight Room!
  • 30:54 - 30:58
    Besides, I am gonna marry Anne.
  • 30:58 - 31:01
    I just have to reconcile myself
    to the idea of marriage, that's all.
  • 31:01 - 31:06
    Well, you'd better start reconciling.
    Your birthday is soon, right? Next week?
  • 31:06 - 31:08
    No, it's not next week.
  • 31:08 - 31:09
    Thank God.
  • 31:09 - 31:11
    It's tomorrow.
  • 31:13 - 31:18
    It's set. Gluckman got us the licenses
    and my Uncle Gus lent me a limo.
  • 31:18 - 31:20
    Let's get the lady next door.
    She can play the organ.
  • 31:20 - 31:23
    You think it's easy settin' up a wedding
    in an hour and a half?
  • 31:23 - 31:27
    You're lucky the priest at
    my grandmother's nursing home was free.
  • 31:29 - 31:31
    Yeah, well, there are limits.
  • 31:38 - 31:41
    What kind of dumb bitch
    lets Leonardo DiCaprio drown?
  • 31:42 - 31:44
    What are you babbling about?
  • 31:44 - 31:47
    She gets a great guy like that
    and lets him slip through her fingers.
  • 31:47 - 31:50
    Natalie, mind your own business.
  • 31:50 - 31:52
    I'm just thinking out loud.
  • 31:52 - 31:56
    He probably just tossed her up on
    that piece of wood and said, "You win".
  • 31:56 - 31:57
    There's the priest.
  • 31:57 - 32:00
    - What do you feel right now?
    - Well...
  • 32:00 - 32:01
    Get over it!
  • 32:01 - 32:04
    You're marrying the woman you love
    and inheriting a fortune.
  • 32:04 - 32:07
    It's not like you're meeting
    the Grim Reaper.
  • 32:09 - 32:11
    Jimmie Shannon?
  • 32:11 - 32:13
    I've come for you.
  • 32:14 - 32:17
    - Bye.
    - Hey, what's that smell?
  • 32:18 - 32:20
    You're wearing his aftershave,
    aren't you?
  • 32:20 - 32:24
    No. It's probably some just left
    on the sweater or something.
  • 32:24 - 32:26
    Right. Yeah.
  • 32:26 - 32:28
    Have fun at Mom and Dad's.
  • 32:28 - 32:32
    I'm really sorry that I can't be there
    for all the anniversary stuff.
  • 32:32 - 32:35
    Yeah, I can see
    how heartbroken you are.
  • 32:35 - 32:37
    Bye.
  • 32:38 - 32:40
    So, how's my grandmother?
  • 32:44 - 32:46
    Should I tell her
    about the money?
  • 32:46 - 32:49
    Are you kidding me?
    You're thinking of not?
  • 32:49 - 32:52
    Do you really want to
    start your marriage off with a lie?
  • 32:52 - 32:55
    No, but she's gonna kill me
    if I tell her.
  • 32:55 - 32:56
    Anybody would.
  • 32:57 - 32:58
    Your call, man.
  • 33:01 - 33:03
    Give me one of those mints.
  • 33:04 - 33:08
    You think she's gonna say, "I'm not
    marrying you till you brush your teeth?"
  • 33:31 - 33:33
    It would be a very great honor
    to have your hand...
  • 33:33 - 33:37
    Yes. I will. I do. Whatever.
    Is this thing real?
  • 33:37 - 33:38
    Yeah.
    Think she'll say yes?
  • 33:38 - 33:41
    I don't know. Suddenly
    she's gotten really particular.
  • 33:41 - 33:42
    I can't think why.
  • 33:43 - 33:45
    Good thing you'll have three weeks
    to rehearse.
  • 33:45 - 33:46
    Three weeks?
  • 33:46 - 33:50
    Hot assignment in Athens.
    She left a half hour ago.
  • 33:50 - 33:52
    Heliport.
  • 33:52 - 33:56
    Hey.
    Running looks desperate.
  • 33:59 - 34:03
    - The heliport!
    - Jimmie! You might need the ring.
  • 34:35 - 34:37
    I'm outta here.
  • 34:44 - 34:45
    Anne!
  • 34:49 - 34:52
    What are you doing?
    I tried to call you at the office, but...
  • 34:53 - 34:55
    Do you have a minute?
  • 34:55 - 34:57
    Yeah, I've got a minute.
    What...
  • 34:59 - 35:00
    What are you doing?
  • 35:01 - 35:05
    Anne, would you do me
    the great honor of marrying me?
  • 35:05 - 35:06
    What?
  • 35:06 - 35:10
    - Would you do me the great honor...
    - I heard you. But why now?
  • 35:10 - 35:13
    Just say yes, all right?
    Please.
  • 35:13 - 35:16
    I really, really want you to.
  • 35:16 - 35:18
    Well, that's definitely
    an improvement.
  • 35:18 - 35:20
    Is that a yes?
  • 35:39 - 35:41
    What's going on?
  • 35:41 - 35:44
    Nothing's going on.
    I love you.
  • 35:44 - 35:49
    Yeah, I know that, but what's with
    the traveling wedding party?
  • 35:49 - 35:52
    What's the point of waiting?
    Let's just do it. Today. Now.
  • 35:53 - 35:54
    Right now now?
  • 35:54 - 35:57
    Trust me.
    We gotta seize the moment.
  • 35:57 - 36:01
    What's important is that I love you
    and I want to spend my life with you.
  • 36:02 - 36:04
    - You're sure?
    - Yes.
  • 36:04 - 36:07
    You're sure
    you want to tie the knot?
  • 36:07 - 36:09
    You're really sure?
  • 36:09 - 36:11
    You wanna get hitched?
  • 36:11 - 36:16
    You wanna strap on
    the old ball and chain?
  • 36:21 - 36:25
    Mm-hmm. See, now, there's
    the Jimmie Shannon that I know.
  • 36:26 - 36:29
    Where are you going?
  • 36:29 - 36:31
    You should've seen
    what I just saw.
  • 36:31 - 36:33
    What did you just see?
  • 36:34 - 36:35
    A bachelor.
  • 36:36 - 36:39
    - What are you talking about?
    - You're not ready.
  • 36:39 - 36:42
    of course I'm ready!
    I'm standing at a helipad in my tuxedo!
  • 36:42 - 36:44
    No, you're not ready.
  • 36:44 - 36:47
    Don't you understand?
  • 36:47 - 36:49
    I don't know
    if you'll ever be ready.
  • 36:51 - 36:53
    You've won.
  • 37:19 - 37:20
    What the hell happened?
  • 37:20 - 37:23
    oh, Jimmie got a look.
  • 37:23 - 37:25
    A look?
    I don't understand.
  • 37:25 - 37:28
    He was wallowing
    in bachelor memories again.
  • 37:28 - 37:29
    I still don't understand.
  • 37:29 - 37:32
    It's over. She took
    an assignment in Athens.
  • 37:32 - 37:34
    - I tried to persuade her, but...
    - This is bad.
  • 37:34 - 37:35
    Very bad.
  • 37:36 - 37:38
    A hundred million dollars bad.
  • 37:38 - 37:42
    The Shannon legend continues.
    The Starlight Room, now the helipad.
  • 37:42 - 37:45
    Can you show me the look?
    Was it...
  • 37:46 - 37:47
    or...
  • 37:47 - 37:50
    I don't know,
    'cause I didn't see it.
  • 37:50 - 37:54
    I'm sorry about the money, but
    the woman I love just walked out on me.
  • 37:54 - 37:56
    Maybe forever.
  • 37:56 - 37:58
    You can't walk away from that money.
  • 37:58 - 38:00
    You saw that video.
  • 38:00 - 38:04
    If you don't get married, you're cut off
    without a goddamn cent and f...
  • 38:06 - 38:09
    So I won't get the money.
    I've been fine without it so far.
  • 38:09 - 38:10
    You don't understand.
  • 38:10 - 38:15
    The will provides that all assets
    are to be sold for cash...
  • 38:15 - 38:17
    including Shannon Billiards.
  • 38:21 - 38:23
    Can't wait till we're alone.
  • 38:23 - 38:28
    Welcome onboard Virgin Atlantic Airways
    nonstop service to London...
  • 38:28 - 38:29
    - I love you.
    - continuing on to Athens.
  • 38:29 - 38:33
    our flying time will be
    approximately 18 hours.
  • 38:33 - 38:37
    Will all ground crew
    please leave the plane.
  • 38:37 - 38:40
    Are you saying oden Sports
    could buy the company?
  • 38:40 - 38:44
    I'm telling you
    oden Sports will buy the company.
  • 38:44 - 38:46
    These guys are like locusts.
  • 38:46 - 38:49
    They buy you out, lay people off
    and strip the place clean.
  • 38:49 - 38:52
    - The plant will be gone within a week.
    - We're screwed.
  • 38:52 - 38:53
    Not necessarily.
  • 38:55 - 38:57
    You have until just after 6:00
    tomorrow night.
  • 38:57 - 38:59
    That makes, what...
  • 39:00 - 39:02
    27 hours and change.
  • 39:03 - 39:05
    Find someone to marry.
  • 39:06 - 39:08
    Fine. I'll get married
    just for you.
  • 39:08 - 39:12
    Well, I'd be happy to entertain
    any better ideas.
  • 39:12 - 39:14
    Anyone?
  • 39:17 - 39:19
    I'm not hearing anything.
  • 39:19 - 39:22
    Hear this.
    I found someone to marry.
  • 39:22 - 39:25
    Not to be callous, Jimmie...
  • 39:25 - 39:27
    but Anne already
    told you "no" twice.
  • 39:28 - 39:29
    They're right, Jim.
  • 39:30 - 39:33
    You made the decision
    not to tell Anne about the money.
  • 39:33 - 39:35
    over is over.
  • 39:37 - 39:41
    Sid and I are seeing
    one of your ex's tonight.
  • 39:41 - 39:44
    She's organizing the fund-raising ball
    at the Steinard.
  • 39:45 - 39:47
    - Buckley?
    - Not Buckley.
  • 39:48 - 39:50
    So it won't be Buckley.
    Find someone else.
  • 39:50 - 39:52
    I'm sorry.
    Jobs come and go. Businesses too.
  • 39:52 - 39:55
    But Anne is...
    There's only one Anne.
  • 39:55 - 40:00
    It's real easy for you three to tell me
    to walk away from the woman I love...
  • 40:00 - 40:03
    but this is my life
    we're talking about.
  • 40:03 - 40:05
    My life.
  • 40:06 - 40:08
    Surprise!
  • 40:08 - 40:10
    For he's a jolly good fellow
  • 40:10 - 40:13
    For he's a jolly good fellow
  • 40:13 - 40:16
    For he's a jolly good fellow
  • 40:16 - 40:18
    Which nobody can deny
  • 40:21 - 40:23
    What about their lives?
  • 40:23 - 40:25
    This time next week
    they'll be out of jobs.
  • 40:25 - 40:28
    over 200 families
    without providers.
  • 40:29 - 40:31
    Women thrown out
    in the freezing cold.
  • 40:32 - 40:35
    Children going to bed
    on empty stomachs.
  • 40:35 - 40:38
    Well, if you're really
    gonna close down the plant...
  • 40:40 - 40:43
    now's the time to do it.
  • 40:43 - 40:47
    For he's a jolly good fellow
  • 40:47 - 40:50
    Which nobody can deny
  • 40:50 - 40:52
    Big 3-0 tomorrow!
  • 40:56 - 40:58
    Let's go have some cake!
  • 41:01 - 41:03
    As I recall...
  • 41:03 - 41:07
    the first ten years of marriage
    fly by like no time at all.
  • 41:08 - 41:09
    Really?
  • 41:09 - 41:10
    No.
  • 41:17 - 41:19
    I don't want to talk about it.
  • 41:19 - 41:21
    okay.
  • 41:36 - 41:39
    - What are you doing?
    - Cooking.
  • 41:39 - 41:41
    What are you making?
  • 41:45 - 41:47
    Is it me?
  • 41:47 - 41:53
    I mean, am I just really bad
    at being proposed to?
  • 41:58 - 42:01
    It couldn't have been worse
    than "you win".
  • 42:01 - 42:03
    Don't underestimate the guy.
  • 42:03 - 42:05
    That shithead!
  • 42:05 - 42:08
    He can't commit.
    He can't commit. It's over.
  • 42:08 - 42:12
    What do you mean, he can't commit?
    He's constantly asking you to marry him.
  • 42:12 - 42:15
    But you're not there when he does it.
    You don't see what happens to him.
  • 42:15 - 42:17
    He completely goes to pieces.
  • 42:17 - 42:20
    His jaw locks, his eyes get all big,
    he starts fidgeting...
  • 42:20 - 42:22
    and he completely goes
    to this other place.
  • 42:22 - 42:26
    It's like he's not even there!
    He's not even there!
  • 42:28 - 42:29
    I know what you need.
  • 42:34 - 42:37
    - I'm not going home with you.
    - Come on. Please?
  • 42:37 - 42:39
    It'll be good for you.
  • 42:40 - 42:44
    Being with them will make whatever
    you're going through feel like nothing.
  • 42:46 - 42:51
    okay. But if they start,
    you're taking me out drinking.
  • 42:51 - 42:52
    Deal.
  • 42:54 - 42:57
    Come on, gorilla.
    We in Manila.
  • 42:57 - 43:00
    Come on, gorilla!
    This is the thrilla!
  • 43:27 - 43:30
    Well, well.
  • 43:31 - 43:34
    Well, this is quite a collection.
  • 43:34 - 43:37
    Let's land you a trophy wife.
  • 43:41 - 43:43
    - How about Monique?
    - No. Dull.
  • 43:45 - 43:47
    It's between Stacey and Zoe.
  • 43:49 - 43:51
    Stacey was terrific, but...
  • 43:51 - 43:54
    Zoe was always there for me.
  • 43:54 - 43:56
    Clingy, I think you said.
  • 43:56 - 43:59
    Forget about "there for you".
    Who do you want to spend your life with?
  • 43:59 - 44:01
    Anne.
  • 44:04 - 44:05
    Choose.
  • 44:08 - 44:09
    Stacey.
  • 44:46 - 44:49
    Jimmie Shannon!
    Long time no see.
  • 44:49 - 44:52
    Too long.
    You look beautiful.
  • 44:52 - 44:55
    The hair.
    That's new, isn't it?
  • 44:55 - 44:57
    Said like a true guy.
  • 44:57 - 44:59
    So, pull up a chair.
  • 45:01 - 45:05
    - Quiet in your pit today, huh?
    - It's the oPEC conference, so we wait.
  • 45:05 - 45:08
    It's not a great day
    for a tour of the exchange.
  • 45:10 - 45:12
    That's not exactly why I'm here.
  • 45:13 - 45:15
    This is gonna seem sudden...
  • 45:15 - 45:19
    but something completely unexpected
    came up and I thought about you...
  • 45:19 - 45:21
    because of...
  • 45:22 - 45:24
    I've always had great memories
    of when we dated.
  • 45:26 - 45:28
    Me too.
  • 45:28 - 45:30
    The thing is, my grandfather
    passed away last week...
  • 45:30 - 45:33
    I'm so sorry.
  • 45:33 - 45:34
    Kuwait walked out!
  • 45:36 - 45:39
    Buy! Buy!
    Fourteen contracts!
  • 45:39 - 45:41
    Fourteen contracts, right here!
  • 45:44 - 45:46
    Nineteen bought! Done!
  • 45:46 - 45:48
    You were saying
    about your grandfather.
  • 45:48 - 45:51
    He left me some money.
    A lot, actually.
  • 45:51 - 45:53
    Five!
  • 45:53 - 45:54
    A hundred million dollars.
  • 45:54 - 45:56
    Sell it!
  • 45:56 - 45:58
    But there's a condition.
  • 45:58 - 45:59
    Size! Size!
  • 45:59 - 46:01
    Six! Five! Five!
  • 46:01 - 46:03
    - Up five...
    - Here's the deal.
  • 46:03 - 46:05
    To get the inheritance,
    I gotta be married tomorrow.
  • 46:05 - 46:08
    I know it's sudden,
    but are you interested?
  • 46:17 - 46:19
    She's engaged.
  • 46:19 - 46:20
    Engaged or married?
  • 46:20 - 46:23
    - 'Cause if she's only engaged...
    - Forget about it.
  • 46:23 - 46:25
    It ain't happening.
  • 46:25 - 46:27
    So you'll marry Zoe.
  • 46:27 - 46:29
    She was always there for you
    anyway.
  • 46:31 - 46:33
    Zoe!
  • 46:33 - 46:35
    Can't breathe.
  • 46:35 - 46:37
    Me either!
  • 46:37 - 46:40
    oh, I'm so excited.
    I can't believe this is happening.
  • 46:40 - 46:42
    I've waited so long.
  • 46:44 - 46:46
    What about what's-her-face?
  • 46:48 - 46:49
    Anne.
  • 47:00 - 47:01
    She said no.
  • 47:01 - 47:05
    oh, I am just so thrilled
    that you would think of me next.
  • 47:09 - 47:11
    oh, my God.
  • 47:11 - 47:13
    How far down the list am I?
  • 47:14 - 47:16
    Third.
    But what does that matter?
  • 47:16 - 47:19
    I'm here because of
    all the wonderful times we had together.
  • 47:21 - 47:23
    We did have
    some pretty magical times.
  • 47:25 - 47:28
    In between you leaving me every
    now and then, saying I was too clingy.
  • 47:28 - 47:31
    Zoe, I'm sorry.
    I just...
  • 47:31 - 47:37
    If you forgive me now and marry me,
    I promise I will never leave you again.
  • 47:37 - 47:41
    Swear to God that you will
    stay by my side always?
  • 47:41 - 47:44
    It'll just be you and me forever?
  • 47:44 - 47:47
    Come on, Natalie.
    We'll miss the train.
  • 47:48 - 47:49
    Anne?
  • 48:14 - 48:16
    I thought you were Anne.
    I'm sorry.
  • 48:17 - 48:18
    Zoe!
  • 48:20 - 48:23
    Clingy!
    He calls me clingy!
  • 48:25 - 48:27
    Must be a fire sale.
  • 48:38 - 48:41
    I can't believe you.
    Zoe was a lock. A lock!
  • 48:41 - 48:46
    only one man would tell a broad she's
    third on his list while he's proposing...
  • 48:46 - 48:47
    Jimmie Shannon!
  • 48:47 - 48:49
    She burned me in effigy.
  • 48:49 - 48:52
    Rita bites her nails.
    You adjust.
  • 48:58 - 48:59
    What's this one's name?
  • 49:00 - 49:01
    llana?
  • 49:02 - 49:03
    Love llana!
  • 49:03 - 49:07
    Cute, funny.
    A bit theatrical, but she'll do.
  • 49:07 - 49:11
    Hey, if you happen to see Anne again,
    just remember...
  • 49:11 - 49:13
    she's on a plane to Athens.
  • 49:13 - 49:17
    Hey, not your shade of green, jerk-off?
    Come on! What am I doin' here?
  • 49:18 - 49:21
    The Napa Express
    is in the station...
  • 49:21 - 49:24
    and continuing on to Redding
    and Portland, oregon.
  • 49:25 - 49:29
    The Napa Express is departing
    immediately at 7:23.
  • 49:29 - 49:31
    All aboard!
  • 49:45 - 49:47
    Anne?
  • 50:06 - 50:07
    What are you doing?
  • 50:07 - 50:10
    I'm documenting my first day
    of being single.
  • 50:10 - 50:14
    - Great, because we just missed our cab.
    - You know, I'm really lucky.
  • 50:14 - 50:18
    I came that close to making
    the biggest mistake of my life.
  • 50:18 - 50:20
    That close.
  • 50:21 - 50:23
    That close.
  • 50:23 - 50:26
    Come on and tell
    the nice cab man.
  • 50:36 - 50:39
    - I thought you said she was dying.
    - She is dying.
  • 51:10 - 51:12
    Perfect.
  • 51:21 - 51:23
    Encore! Encore!
  • 51:27 - 51:29
    - Keep the change.
    - From a 20?
  • 51:29 - 51:32
    - Wasn't that a four-dollar cab ride?
    - The poor guy had to listen to you.
  • 51:32 - 51:37
    You think he went to work thinking, "l
    hope I find out about Anne and Jimmie".
  • 51:37 - 51:40
    I'm sorry.
    I'm stopping. I'm stopping!
  • 51:40 - 51:43
    Not another word out of me
    about Jimmie.
  • 51:44 - 51:47
    But let's not talk about this
    with them.
  • 51:47 - 51:50
    - 'Cause I just...
    - Please, God, make it stop.
  • 51:55 - 51:57
    - Happy anniversary!
    - Thank you.
  • 51:57 - 51:59
    I'll get the bags.
  • 51:59 - 52:02
    Dale, missing you already.
  • 52:08 - 52:11
    okay, how can I say this
    politely?
  • 52:11 - 52:15
    If you hadn't walked in here just now,
    I'd have forgotten you even existed.
  • 52:16 - 52:19
    I mean, Joey,
    you strut onto my stage...
  • 52:19 - 52:24
    and dangle money in front of my face
    like I'm gonna swoon...
  • 52:24 - 52:27
    when all I even remember about you
    is we screwed a couple of times.
  • 52:27 - 52:31
    And I recall thinking
    you look nice with your shirt off.
  • 52:32 - 52:34
    But then again, so do I.
  • 52:34 - 52:36
    These are completely bent.
    These suck.
  • 52:36 - 52:40
    - She didn't remember you, huh?
    - She did. Vaguely.
  • 52:40 - 52:42
    oh, vaguely, that's good.
  • 52:42 - 52:46
    I tell you, man,
    what goes around, comes around.
  • 52:46 - 52:49
    - I have no idea what you mean by that.
    - Yeah, right.
  • 52:49 - 52:52
    oh, it's my fault some girl
    I hooked up with a few years back...
  • 52:52 - 52:55
    isn't chomping at the bit
    to marry me.
  • 52:55 - 52:57
    What goes around, comes around.
  • 52:57 - 53:01
    All right, man, come on.
    We need a name and a number.
  • 53:01 - 53:02
    Carolyn.
  • 53:03 - 53:05
    oh, yeah,
    the eternal student.
  • 53:05 - 53:09
    The kids'll be bright. They'll have
    no friends, but they'll be bright.
  • 53:18 - 53:23
    I bet you've never even considered
    the symbolism of a traditional wedding.
  • 53:23 - 53:26
    Give me a break, Carolyn.
    I was an Econ major.
  • 53:26 - 53:29
    Then it's right up your alley,
    because that's what it is.
  • 53:29 - 53:32
    It is a ritualized
    property transfer.
  • 53:32 - 53:36
    Father-slash-seller arrives
    with daughter-slash-property...
  • 53:36 - 53:42
    who's wearing a white dress to guarantee
    the merchandise is, you know, unspoiled.
  • 53:42 - 53:44
    A religious figure
    sanctifies the sale...
  • 53:44 - 53:46
    and daughter-property
    becomes wife-property.
  • 53:46 - 53:48
    It's beautiful, really.
  • 53:48 - 53:49
    It's precious.
  • 53:49 - 53:54
    Look, this man-slash-potential groom
    doesn't have the time-slash-energy...
  • 53:54 - 53:58
    to put up with this feminist-slash-
    pseudopsychological bullshit.
  • 53:58 - 54:00
    Yes or no?
  • 54:02 - 54:04
    Glad to see you still got balls.
  • 54:04 - 54:06
    I don't believe in marriage.
  • 54:06 - 54:09
    Neither do I.
    That's the beauty of this offer.
  • 54:09 - 54:12
    It's a marriage for people
    who don't believe in marriage.
  • 54:12 - 54:15
    Your outlook, Jimmie,
    is so totally patriarchal...
  • 54:15 - 54:19
    right down to these roses, which are
    the classic male overture to seduction.
  • 54:19 - 54:22
    I always thought of them as flowers.
    They certainly smell like flowers.
  • 54:22 - 54:26
    No, it's symbolism. They just
    happen to be the plant's vagina.
  • 54:28 - 54:30
    - Come on!
    - It's true!
  • 54:30 - 54:33
    That symbolism
    is the reason men give flowers.
  • 54:34 - 54:37
    Why would a man
    give a woman a symbolic vagina?
  • 54:37 - 54:39
    Why wouldn't he?
  • 54:39 - 54:42
    It just happens to signal
    that his intentions go beyond platonic.
  • 54:42 - 54:44
    It lets her know
    what he ultimately wants.
  • 54:45 - 54:48
    Carolyn, I'm not interested
    in your goddamn vagina, all right?
  • 54:48 - 54:50
    I just wanna marry you!
  • 55:18 - 55:22
    So, thinking ahead,
    if Daphne says no, who do we go for?
  • 55:23 - 55:25
    Be serious. We need Daphne.
  • 55:25 - 55:28
    I mean, who's left, Monique?
  • 55:28 - 55:30
    We need Daphne, all right?
  • 55:30 - 55:32
    Monique is dull.
  • 55:32 - 55:37
    Her life is eggplants
    and bean sprouts...
  • 55:37 - 55:41
    lettuce, Brussels sprouts,
    broccoli.
  • 55:53 - 55:56
    This is so exciting.
  • 55:58 - 56:00
    - No peeking!
    - oh, well, all right.
  • 56:00 - 56:02
    No peeking?
  • 56:02 - 56:05
    All right, there. okay.
  • 56:10 - 56:11
    Go ahead. open the box.
  • 56:13 - 56:15
    - I can't!
    - Yes, you can!
  • 56:15 - 56:18
    - open the box.
    - open it!
  • 56:18 - 56:20
    All right.
  • 56:21 - 56:25
    It's so beautiful!
  • 56:25 - 56:27
    You're so beautiful.
  • 56:39 - 56:40
    Mom!
  • 56:40 - 56:42
    That's why people
    don't go out with you.
  • 56:43 - 56:47
    Wait. I have to go
    to the bathroom.
  • 56:47 - 56:48
    Don't be too long.
  • 56:50 - 56:52
    I'll be back as quick as I can.
  • 57:01 - 57:03
    Missing you already!
  • 57:04 - 57:07
    Natalie and I were talking about
    going to get a drink, if that's okay.
  • 57:07 - 57:09
    okay? You kidding?
  • 57:11 - 57:14
    Your mother and I have got plenty
    to keep ourselves amused.
  • 57:14 - 57:15
    - Drink?
    - Drink.
  • 57:38 - 57:40
    Move aside.
  • 57:43 - 57:44
    Through here.
  • 57:45 - 57:47
    Come on.
  • 57:47 - 57:49
    I got him from here.
  • 57:49 - 57:52
    Get him the hell into cell six,
    and nobody talks to him but me.
  • 57:52 - 57:54
    You got it.
  • 57:54 - 57:56
    Hey, hey, hey! You think I'm playing
    some kind of game with you?
  • 57:57 - 57:59
    I don't play good cop-bad cop.
    It requires too much patience.
  • 57:59 - 58:01
    I go straight to bad cop, worse cop.
  • 58:01 - 58:04
    - Now behave!
    - You heard the lady. Move it!
  • 58:08 - 58:10
    - I see you're still enjoying your job.
    - Yeah.
  • 58:10 - 58:13
    You look great.
  • 58:13 - 58:15
    - You lose some weight?
    - Get that guy!
  • 58:19 - 58:23
    Stay down, ya stinkin' mope, before
    I hammer your nuts up to your tonsils!
  • 58:27 - 58:29
    Twelve pounds. Can ya tell?
  • 58:32 - 58:36
    - Would you relax?
    - Relax? Let me get this straight.
  • 58:36 - 58:38
    You're saying,
    take this money...
  • 58:38 - 58:41
    and give up any chance of ever
    finding true and meaningful love?
  • 58:41 - 58:44
    I'm only kind of saying that.
  • 58:46 - 58:47
    What is wrong with you?
  • 58:47 - 58:50
    What is wrong with me?
    What is wrong with you?
  • 58:52 - 58:54
    Don't you want to marry
    someone you love?
  • 58:54 - 58:58
    Unfortunately, for me, at this point,
    that is not an option.
  • 58:58 - 59:01
    Well, fortunately,
    for me, it is.
  • 59:03 - 59:08
    I've always had this dream that I'd open
    up my own restaurant and have this...
  • 59:10 - 59:11
    You don't want to hear about this.
  • 59:13 - 59:17
    I'd definitely like
    to hear about this.
  • 59:17 - 59:19
    It'd be more than a restaurant.
  • 59:19 - 59:21
    It'd be more like
    a new approach to food.
  • 59:21 - 59:24
    Take salad. People hear "salad,"
    and they think lettuce, right?
  • 59:24 - 59:27
    And usually iceberg lettuce,
    especially Americans.
  • 59:27 - 59:32
    They don't realize all the different
    varieties and kinds of lettuce...
  • 59:32 - 59:34
    and all the things
    that can be done...
  • 59:35 - 59:36
    Brussels sprouts.
  • 59:36 - 59:39
    People go through their day
    kind of blah.
  • 59:40 - 59:42
    But if they really
    stopped and looked...
  • 59:42 - 59:47
    they'd realize that the Brussels sprout
    is more than another green vegetable.
  • 59:47 - 59:49
    What it really is...
  • 59:53 - 59:54
    Cabbage.
  • 59:56 - 59:58
    How could you strike out six times?
  • 59:58 - 60:01
    It hasn't been pretty.
    on the last one he says he blanked.
  • 60:02 - 60:03
    You mentioned the money?
  • 60:03 - 60:05
    That's what happened, all right?
  • 60:05 - 60:09
    I just lost my ability
    to carry on a conversation.
  • 60:10 - 60:11
    You used to date her!
  • 60:11 - 60:13
    So what do you want me to do,
    mime the proposal?
  • 60:14 - 60:16
    - Yes!
    - And you mentioned the money?
  • 60:16 - 60:19
    What in hell kind of women
    are these?
  • 60:19 - 60:21
    Enough! All right?
    Where is she?
  • 60:24 - 60:26
    Buckley.
  • 60:26 - 60:30
    okay, crunch time.
    Seventh game of the World Series.
  • 60:30 - 60:33
    Bottom of the ninth,
    two outs, full count.
  • 60:33 - 60:36
    This is our last chance.
    There's no tomorrow. Got it?
  • 60:36 - 60:38
    Four clichés ago.
  • 60:38 - 60:41
    237 jobs, man, huh?
  • 60:41 - 60:43
    Just give me
    the damn symbolic vaginas.
  • 60:45 - 60:47
    You are sick!
  • 60:50 - 60:52
    Nice to see you, Buckley.
  • 60:54 - 60:56
    - You didn't have to.
    - Well, I wanted to.
  • 60:56 - 61:00
    Truth is, ever since
    we stopped dating...
  • 61:00 - 61:04
    well, I've thought
    about you a lot.
  • 61:04 - 61:07
    And what have you been thinking?
  • 61:07 - 61:11
    Well, I've been thinking that
    of all the women I've dated...
  • 61:11 - 61:15
    you are without question...
  • 61:15 - 61:16
    the...
  • 61:18 - 61:20
    most poised.
  • 61:20 - 61:22
    I'm sure you're right.
  • 61:22 - 61:25
    Yeah, and lately I've...
  • 61:25 - 61:28
    realized I could use
    more poise in my life.
  • 61:30 - 61:32
    What are you doing?
  • 61:32 - 61:33
    You must wonder
    what we're doing here.
  • 61:36 - 61:39
    Roy o'Dell told me
    all about your grandfather's will.
  • 61:40 - 61:43
    - I'll marry you.
    - You will?
  • 61:43 - 61:46
    Just like that?
  • 61:46 - 61:49
    The Hale-Winter
    family situation is eroding.
  • 61:49 - 61:51
    We could use an infusion.
  • 61:51 - 61:54
    Sacrifices must be made.
  • 61:58 - 61:59
    Get up.
  • 62:26 - 62:28
    okay. oh, my goodness.
  • 62:34 - 62:36
    This is fun!
  • 62:38 - 62:41
    I'd forgotten how much fun
    this can be!
  • 62:41 - 62:44
    It took you 22 San Miguels
    to realize that?
  • 62:45 - 62:47
    Really nice guys, huh?
  • 62:47 - 62:49
    Viable choices.
  • 63:09 - 63:13
    - Can I cut in?
    - Yeah, cut in. Hi.
  • 63:13 - 63:15
    oh, God.
  • 63:20 - 63:22
    How come Mom and Dad
    like each other so much?
  • 63:22 - 63:24
    I know.
  • 63:26 - 63:29
    It's hard to take,
    but it would be really...
  • 63:29 - 63:32
    - It would be really nice to have.
    - Yeah.
  • 63:33 - 63:36
    For those of us
    who don't already have it.
  • 63:39 - 63:44
    - Where's Marco?
    - He went to pick up Buckley's dress.
  • 63:45 - 63:51
    It's been on standby since the family
    Picassos went up for auction.
  • 63:51 - 63:55
    one hundred million dollars.
  • 63:55 - 63:56
    one hundred million dollars.
  • 63:58 - 64:01
    one, zero, zero, million dollars.
  • 64:02 - 64:05
    Ten times ten million dollars.
  • 64:05 - 64:11
    one hundred million dollars.
  • 64:12 - 64:14
    Now, kid, just remember...
  • 64:14 - 64:17
    Buckley can be very loving.
  • 64:20 - 64:24
    Father, would you zip me, please?
  • 64:41 - 64:43
    okay. I'm ready.
  • 64:48 - 64:52
    - Assembled mourners...
    - Wrong service, Father.
  • 64:52 - 64:54
    Is it?
  • 64:58 - 65:01
    one hundred million dollars.
  • 65:02 - 65:04
    Dearest, any chance
    you could say that silently?
  • 65:04 - 65:06
    one hundred...
    Why don't we skip the pet names?
  • 65:07 - 65:09
    This is a business arrangement,
    pure and simple.
  • 65:09 - 65:12
    It's a little more than that. We'll
    be spending a lot of time together.
  • 65:12 - 65:16
    I don't see why. You'll keep your place
    in the city. I'll stay in Marin.
  • 65:16 - 65:18
    We'll see each other
    when we absolutely need to.
  • 65:18 - 65:21
    Dearly beloved,
    we are gathered here today...
  • 65:21 - 65:24
    I'm sorry, Father. Roy, what did you
    tell her about the will's provisions?
  • 65:24 - 65:29
    I don't recall my exact words.
  • 65:29 - 65:32
    We can only spend
    one night apart a month.
  • 65:33 - 65:35
    one night together a month.
  • 65:39 - 65:42
    - Pardon me.
    - Nice job.
  • 65:49 - 65:52
    Does the will require
    that we sleep in the same bed...
  • 65:52 - 65:55
    or would, say,
    twin beds create a problem?
  • 65:55 - 65:57
    None at all.
  • 65:57 - 66:00
    opposite wings
    in an enormous manor?
  • 66:00 - 66:03
    As long as you're
    under the same roof.
  • 66:13 - 66:15
    Continue, please, Father.
  • 66:15 - 66:16
    Don't worry. We'll adjust.
  • 66:17 - 66:20
    That will hardly be necessary. Three
    years will be over before we know it.
  • 66:20 - 66:22
    - Go ahead.
    - oh, Lord.
  • 66:22 - 66:23
    - Three?
    - Go on.
  • 66:23 - 66:27
    - To join these people in matrimony.
    - Excuse me, Father.
  • 66:30 - 66:33
    I may have misspoken.
  • 66:33 - 66:36
    The marriage has to last longer.
  • 66:37 - 66:39
    - Ten years.
    - A decade?
  • 66:42 - 66:43
    Pardon me.
  • 66:51 - 66:53
    And in ten years, I go free?
  • 66:53 - 66:55
    Free as a bird.
  • 66:56 - 66:59
    - With my half of the estate?
    - Yes.
  • 67:08 - 67:11
    And I can live anywhere
    and with anyone I want?
  • 67:11 - 67:16
    If you choose, you can leave
    the children and move to Afghanistan.
  • 67:16 - 67:18
    - Do you, Jimmie...
    - Children?
  • 67:18 - 67:20
    Don't worry.
    You have five years.
  • 67:20 - 67:22
    Take this Buckley...
  • 67:44 - 67:45
    one hundred million dollars.
  • 67:47 - 67:49
    Children within five years.
  • 67:53 - 67:55
    one hundred million dollars.
  • 67:55 - 67:57
    Children within five years.
  • 67:57 - 67:59
    one kid! That's all!
  • 67:59 - 68:03
    Do like the English! As soon as he can
    crawl, ship him off to boarding school.
  • 68:03 - 68:05
    You can have an epidural!
  • 68:07 - 68:10
    Roy, let's go!
  • 68:10 - 68:12
    I've got to fill out
    some paperwork.
  • 68:13 - 68:17
    What paperwork?
    What are you talking about?
  • 68:17 - 68:20
    Freeze the company's accounts
    to prepare it for sale.
  • 68:20 - 68:23
    You're cuttin' us off
    without a goddamn dime!
  • 68:23 - 68:25
    You think I want to?
  • 68:25 - 68:28
    We won't get paid without that money.
    I'll lose my home.
  • 68:28 - 68:31
    So if I act illegally,
    I'll lose mine!
  • 68:31 - 68:34
    You have three homes!
  • 68:34 - 68:36
    I'm a lawyer.
  • 68:36 - 68:39
    There's still 17 hours, all right?
    Let's not panic.
  • 68:39 - 68:41
    I'll think of someone.
  • 68:41 - 68:43
    You better. We've got
    our backs to the wall.
  • 68:43 - 68:46
    Time for desperate measures.
    What about my daughter?
  • 68:46 - 68:49
    - Absolutely not.
    - Why not?
  • 68:49 - 68:53
    - She isn't good enough for you?
    - She's 15!
  • 68:53 - 68:56
    It's pretty late in the game
    for you to be Mr. Choosy.
  • 68:57 - 68:59
    Give me a lift home.
  • 69:00 - 69:03
    I'm too disgusted to drive.
  • 69:25 - 69:29
    From now on,
    we're only dating divorcés.
  • 69:29 - 69:31
    Why?
  • 69:31 - 69:34
    'Cause we'll know
    they're already ready.
  • 69:34 - 69:38
    Right. or widowers then.
    Can't forget the widowers.
  • 69:39 - 69:42
    If only Jimmie had
    one dead wife, right?
  • 69:42 - 69:45
    - Then he'd be ready.
    - or two.
  • 69:45 - 69:49
    - Imagine if he had two, boy.
    - Yeah, then you guys would be married.
  • 69:54 - 69:56
    Do you think he'll call?
  • 69:56 - 69:59
    He doesn't even know
    you're here.
  • 70:00 - 70:02
    Yeah, that's right.
  • 70:02 - 70:07
    Can you imagine Jimmie
    at that salsa club tonight?
  • 70:09 - 70:14
    oh, my God. Trying to do
    that Rico Suave dip move.
  • 70:14 - 70:17
    oh, my gosh.
    The Riverdancer he's not.
  • 70:17 - 70:22
    Always kicks me in the shins
    and he scrunches my toes.
  • 70:23 - 70:27
    That would have been hysterical
    to watch him try.
  • 70:27 - 70:31
    - Call him.
    - What do you mean, "call him"?
  • 70:34 - 70:37
    okay, what do I say?
  • 70:39 - 70:44
    That you love him and
    you'll keep seeing each other...
  • 70:44 - 70:46
    as long as he doesn't propose.
  • 71:01 - 71:03
    That's it! That is it!
  • 71:03 - 71:05
    - Calm down.
    - The sun!
  • 71:05 - 71:07
    The sun! It's rising!
  • 71:07 - 71:10
    Just sit down, all right? The
    important thing is to find me a bride.
  • 71:10 - 71:12
    - I'm thinking here.
    - You're thinkin'?
  • 71:12 - 71:16
    Well, zippity-doo-dah!
    Hey, he's thinkin'!
  • 71:16 - 71:18
    I hear the flowers
    bursting into song.
  • 71:20 - 71:24
    Hey, listen. one moment, sir.
    The wheels are turning.
  • 71:24 - 71:28
    Ah, yes, proof positive
    indeed that there is a God.
  • 71:28 - 71:33
    You know why? Because my friend has
    finally experienced brain activity!
  • 71:33 - 71:37
    Hey, let's hear
    what he has to say.
  • 71:37 - 71:41
    - Pray, do tell.
    - It's not them. It's me.
  • 71:41 - 71:45
    They can see it in my face,
    just like Anne.
  • 71:45 - 71:48
    They know I don't
    want to get married.
  • 71:50 - 71:52
    That's it.
  • 71:52 - 71:55
    - Where you goin'?
    - To get you a wife.
  • 71:56 - 71:57
    Alone!
  • 71:58 - 72:00
    You think I'm gonna sit back
    and let you pick my wife?
  • 72:00 - 72:03
    - It's our only hope!
    - What is that supposed to mean?
  • 72:03 - 72:06
    You know how many times
    you've proposed now? Ten!
  • 72:07 - 72:09
    No, nine,
    and that includes Anne.
  • 72:09 - 72:12
    Excuse me! Ten!
  • 72:12 - 72:15
    What am I supposed to do,
    just wait here?
  • 72:15 - 72:19
    Just be at Saint Peter and Paul Church
    at 5:00. I'll have someone.
  • 72:19 - 72:22
    Don't forget the priest,
    and happy birthday.
  • 72:24 - 72:26
    He's still not there!
  • 72:26 - 72:30
    - Leave a message on the answer machine.
    - It's not picking up!
  • 72:30 - 72:32
    The next train doesn't
    leave until 1:15.
  • 72:32 - 72:35
    You're kidding!
    Well, let's go anyway.
  • 72:41 - 72:44
    So much for sleeping.
  • 72:44 - 72:46
    What time did you say
    we can get into that church?
  • 72:46 - 72:47
    2:30.
  • 72:49 - 72:51
    That gives us hours.
  • 72:51 - 72:53
    You got any ideas?
  • 73:22 - 73:24
    They all make it look so easy.
  • 73:25 - 73:28
    - Been a long night, huh?
    - No kidding.
  • 73:28 - 73:30
    It's grueling out there.
  • 73:30 - 73:35
    You definitely made the right decision
    as far as the whole celibacy thing.
  • 73:35 - 73:40
    I believe we were put here
    to love and cherish one another.
  • 73:40 - 73:43
    Sharing your life with someone
    you love is a blessing.
  • 73:43 - 73:46
    Somebody very wise
    taught me that.
  • 73:46 - 73:49
    - Jesus?
    - My wife.
  • 73:49 - 73:51
    You're married?
  • 73:51 - 73:55
    I was happily married
    for 26 years.
  • 73:55 - 73:58
    I only put on this collar
    when my wife died.
  • 73:58 - 74:02
    I'm the father of four
    and the grandfather of ten.
  • 74:02 - 74:05
    A priest with grandchildren.
  • 74:05 - 74:06
    That's the youngest.
  • 74:07 - 74:11
    Took his first steps last Tuesday.
  • 74:11 - 74:15
    Getting married was
    one of the best things I ever did.
  • 74:16 - 74:20
    It's a wonderful thing
    as time goes by...
  • 74:20 - 74:23
    to be with someone who looks
    into your face when you've gotten old...
  • 74:23 - 74:26
    and still sees what you think
    you look like.
  • 74:27 - 74:30
    The first time
  • 74:32 - 74:36
    Ever I saw your face
  • 74:42 - 74:45
    I thought the sun
  • 74:47 - 74:52
    Rose in your eye
  • 75:02 - 75:04
    Welcome to the other side?
  • 75:08 - 75:10
    Best thing you ever did, huh?
  • 75:20 - 75:23
    - Hello?
    - Who's this?
  • 75:23 - 75:25
    - Who's this?
    - It's Anne.
  • 75:25 - 75:27
    oh, Anne, it's Rita.
  • 75:27 - 75:31
    Hey, Mr. All-nighter,
    it's Anne looking for Jimmie.
  • 75:36 - 75:37
    How's Greece?
  • 75:37 - 75:40
    oh, hi, Marco.
    Where's Jimmie?
  • 75:40 - 75:44
    He's not home?
    We were out, you know, boy stuff.
  • 75:44 - 75:47
    And you ended up with his phone?
    What did you do to him?
  • 75:47 - 75:51
    Take it easy. You goin' to Athens
    nearly cost me my job...
  • 75:51 - 75:53
    not to mention, breakin' his heart.
  • 75:55 - 75:58
    Well, I didn't go.
  • 75:58 - 76:01
    I didn't go. I never went.
    I'm here in Mendocino with...
  • 76:01 - 76:05
    Yeah, okay. With Natalie.
    We're taking the 1:15 home.
  • 76:05 - 76:09
    So can you find Jimmie
    and will you...
  • 76:09 - 76:12
    Well, find Jimmie
    and just tell him...
  • 76:12 - 76:15
    that I really, really
    want to see him for dinner, okay?
  • 76:15 - 76:17
    - Yeah.
    - okay, thanks.
  • 76:18 - 76:20
    Hurry!
  • 76:22 - 76:25
    So this is where
    I'm going to tie the knot.
  • 76:25 - 76:28
    Me and Marco's mystery bride.
  • 76:30 - 76:33
    Why don't you try
    to get some sleep?
  • 76:34 - 76:37
    If I shut my eyes,
    I'll want to sleep forever.
  • 76:37 - 76:40
    You got about three hours.
  • 76:43 - 76:45
    Here. Hold on. Here.
  • 76:48 - 76:51
    Maybe when you wake up...
  • 76:53 - 76:55
    the world will look
    a lot different.
  • 77:02 - 77:05
    So, they get in at 5:50.
  • 77:05 - 77:09
    Which leaves us only 15 minutes to get
    to the church and get them married.
  • 77:09 - 77:12
    Tight, but doable.
    Does she know about last night?
  • 77:12 - 77:14
    Like I'm gonna tell her.
    That's Jimmie's problem.
  • 77:14 - 77:17
    If he had had more balls
    in the first place...
  • 77:18 - 77:20
    The thing is, he's not home
    and I have his cell phone.
  • 77:20 - 77:23
    - Have you heard from him?
    - Not a word.
  • 77:24 - 77:27
    Good news, darlin'.
    You're off the hook.
  • 77:28 - 77:31
    I guess the only thing
    is to get to the church.
  • 77:31 - 77:33
    There will be some disappointed brides
    there, but they'll get over it.
  • 77:33 - 77:36
    - "Some"?
    - Half a dozen, a dozen tops.
  • 77:36 - 77:38
    I put an ad in the classifieds.
  • 77:39 - 77:41
    Very good thinkin'.
  • 77:41 - 77:45
    Thanks. It cost me some bucks.
    Plus I had to send them a picture.
  • 77:45 - 77:47
    For the classified?
  • 78:00 - 78:05
    "Would you marry this man for 100..."
    What? What is this?
  • 78:05 - 78:07
    - Read it!
    - Did you see this?
  • 78:07 - 78:09
    No way! Come on!
  • 79:00 - 79:01
    Yes!
  • 79:32 - 79:34
    What time is it?
  • 79:34 - 79:36
    I got ten to 5:00.
  • 79:36 - 79:39
    Who said you could speak, asshole?
  • 79:39 - 79:43
    This is not my fault!
    I only put an ad in the classifieds.
  • 79:43 - 79:45
    Maybe we could sue.
  • 79:45 - 79:51
    Shut up! Shut up! I swear I'll break
    your scrawny neck with my bare hands!
  • 79:51 - 79:54
    According to him,
    who better remain silent...
  • 79:54 - 79:57
    Anne will be here by 6:00
    at the latest.
  • 79:57 - 79:59
    We got five minutes
    for a wedding service.
  • 79:59 - 80:03
    If we keep the church,
    we're golden.
  • 80:03 - 80:05
    What the hell?
  • 80:06 - 80:09
    oh, poor Jimmie.
  • 80:21 - 80:23
    Get off my train!
  • 80:26 - 80:28
    Hello, handsome.
  • 80:30 - 80:32
    Well, hello there!
  • 80:33 - 80:35
    Let's get the hell out of here, huh?
    I got my bike outside.
  • 80:35 - 80:36
    Don't even think about it.
  • 80:36 - 80:38
    - Let go, freak!
    - "Freak"?
  • 80:38 - 80:40
    - He's mine, you hippo!
    - In your dreams!
  • 80:40 - 80:41
    Take it easy!
  • 80:41 - 80:46
    oh, damn! Johnnie, pick me!
    I'll make you so happy!
  • 80:46 - 80:48
    - It was like you were dead in heaven.
    - It's Jimmie!
  • 80:48 - 80:53
    You're my last chance,
    my last chance.
  • 80:53 - 80:56
    Princeton University,
    the same college as Brooke Shields.
  • 80:56 - 81:00
    He didn't say nothin' in the paper
    about education. Is that important?
  • 81:00 - 81:02
    Yes, you have to tell us
    how you're choosing.
  • 81:02 - 81:05
    Yeah, we need criteria.
  • 81:05 - 81:08
    Fair is fair, honey! Come on!
    Give us criteria.
  • 81:08 - 81:11
    Criteria! Criteria!
  • 81:16 - 81:18
    Calm down! Calm down!
  • 81:18 - 81:21
    Please, calm down! Look!
  • 81:22 - 81:25
    My criteria are...
  • 81:25 - 81:27
    you know, the same as any man's.
  • 81:27 - 81:30
    Answer the damn question!
  • 81:30 - 81:32
    This is a difficult situation.
  • 81:32 - 81:35
    I'm not gonna rush through it
    and risk hurting people's feelings.
  • 81:35 - 81:38
    He was firm!
    I love that in a man!
  • 81:38 - 81:42
    - And yet somehow, still sensitive.
    - oh, shut up.
  • 81:42 - 81:46
    - Is religion a criteria?
    - Absolutely not.
  • 81:46 - 81:48
    How about education?
    Is that a criterion?
  • 81:48 - 81:52
    I suppose some college
    would be a plus.
  • 81:52 - 81:55
    - College?
    - A plus, but not a requirement.
  • 81:55 - 81:58
    How about English?
  • 81:58 - 81:59
    She has to speak English.
  • 82:02 - 82:05
    I'm sorry.
    I gotta draw the line somewhere.
  • 82:13 - 82:15
    How's about looks?
  • 82:15 - 82:17
    Looks?
  • 82:17 - 82:19
    Yeah, looks!
  • 82:20 - 82:22
    That's a hard question...
  • 82:22 - 82:27
    because, as you know,
    physical attraction is...
  • 82:27 - 82:29
    It's a chemistry thing, really.
  • 82:29 - 82:33
    What she means is, should we clear out
    and leave you with the skinny blonds?
  • 82:33 - 82:35
    I didn't say that.
  • 82:35 - 82:37
    But we are talking about
    weight limit, aren't we?
  • 82:37 - 82:39
    - Well...
    - How much?
  • 82:39 - 82:42
    What's the weight criteria?
  • 82:42 - 82:43
    Right on, sister.
  • 82:43 - 82:46
    - I don't know.
    - What's your cutoff?
  • 82:46 - 82:49
    - 150?
    - 150!
  • 82:50 - 82:53
    You don't get a set like these
    at 150!
  • 82:53 - 82:57
    Why don't you just say
    skinny blonds and get it over with?
  • 82:57 - 82:59
    Skinny blonds with big jugs!
  • 82:59 - 83:01
    Don't put that cliché on me.
  • 83:01 - 83:04
    You just said the criteria
    were the same as most other men.
  • 83:04 - 83:07
    Most other men like blonds.
    It's a simple syllogism.
  • 83:07 - 83:09
    - But even so...
    - Hey!
  • 83:09 - 83:13
    Do you like blonds?
  • 83:13 - 83:17
    I'm not gonna say
    I don't like blonds!
  • 83:17 - 83:19
    Excuse me. Excuse me.
  • 83:20 - 83:22
    Ladies!
  • 83:22 - 83:26
    Ladies and ladies.
  • 83:26 - 83:31
    As the priest of this church, I feel
    it is my holy duty to inform you...
  • 83:31 - 83:36
    that this man has no money and has
    no intention of marrying any of you.
  • 83:38 - 83:40
    The whole thing was a prank.
  • 83:40 - 83:42
    It went a little too far.
  • 83:42 - 83:46
    Anyway, if we could clear out
    the church as quickly as possible...
  • 83:46 - 83:48
    we have to make way
    for a real wedding.
  • 83:48 - 83:50
    Go in peace.
  • 83:50 - 83:54
    Not true!
    He's lying, all right?
  • 83:54 - 83:58
    Who are we supposed to believe,
    you or a priest?
  • 83:58 - 84:00
    Yeah, what you think? You think
    you're some kind of comedian?
  • 84:01 - 84:05
    Gettin' us all excited and dressed up
    just so you can slap us in the face?
  • 84:05 - 84:07
    I don't think so.
    Excuse me, baby.
  • 84:07 - 84:11
    I don't want to get rowdy
    up in this church, but I will.
  • 84:11 - 84:17
    Now, somebody gettin' married
    up in here today, and it better be me.
  • 84:17 - 84:19
    You're all alike.
    You lead us on, then won't commit.
  • 84:19 - 84:21
    Is that how you get your kicks,
    playing with women's hopes and dreams?
  • 84:22 - 84:24
    Thank God I'm bisexual.
  • 84:27 - 84:28
    Here comes the bride!
  • 84:28 - 84:31
    Take it easy! Geez!
  • 84:35 - 84:36
    Come here!
  • 84:36 - 84:40
    I'm wondering, since I wake up
    in a church full of brides...
  • 84:40 - 84:42
    what is my face doing
    on the front page of the paper?
  • 84:42 - 84:45
    - Answer?
    - Anne's here, or will be!
  • 84:45 - 84:47
    Get back, you animals!
  • 84:50 - 84:53
    - Her train arrives in 40 minutes!
    - Cut the crap!
  • 84:53 - 84:56
    There's no direct trains
    from Athens to San Francisco.
  • 84:56 - 84:59
    - It's true.
    - She wants to have dinner with you.
  • 85:00 - 85:01
    Dinner?
  • 85:03 - 85:05
    From now on we do it
    my way, all right? Agreed?
  • 85:05 - 85:07
    - Agreed!
    - All right!
  • 85:07 - 85:12
    All right. I'm too excited to think!
    What do we do?
  • 85:12 - 85:18
    We obviously can't have a wedding
    in a church infested with brides.
  • 85:18 - 85:20
    Exactly!
    Can you get to the station?
  • 85:20 - 85:23
    - In 40 minutes?
    - Yes! Thank you.
  • 85:23 - 85:26
    Guys, I'm leaving you to take care
    of this mob. Don't let me down.
  • 85:26 - 85:27
    Crazy broads!
  • 85:38 - 85:40
    That will be $400.
  • 85:40 - 85:43
    I'll give you double if you can
    have it at the station in half an hour.
  • 85:43 - 85:46
    A customer gets
    what a customer wants.
  • 86:14 - 86:18
    Hey! Drop back!
  • 86:20 - 86:23
    - Ladies!
    - Let's get him!
  • 86:36 - 86:39
    There he is!
  • 86:46 - 86:48
    Stop!
  • 86:48 - 86:50
    I'll squash you
    with my bare hands!
  • 86:52 - 86:54
    Take me to the station
    as fast as you can!
  • 86:58 - 87:01
    You'll be delighted to hear
    we're arriving five minutes early.
  • 87:03 - 87:05
    oh, my God.
  • 87:06 - 87:08
    You're not gonna like this.
  • 87:11 - 87:16
    The northbound City of Seattle is
    ready for boarding on track number 16.
  • 87:16 - 87:20
    Ladies and gentlemen, train 623...
  • 87:20 - 87:23
    has arrived at 5:49
    on track number two.
  • 87:23 - 87:28
    The express in the station at 5:49,
    track number two.
  • 87:53 - 87:58
    Do you have a second?
    I just gotta say something to you.
  • 87:58 - 88:01
    You're not going to
    propose again, are you?
  • 88:01 - 88:04
    You just really wouldn't want to let
    a girl down for a third time.
  • 88:04 - 88:08
    I know, but today I was at
    the Palace of Fine Arts, all right?
  • 88:08 - 88:11
    I was on the lake with this priest.
    It was really romantic.
  • 88:11 - 88:13
    We were there a couple
    of years ago, remember?
  • 88:15 - 88:18
    Suddenly I had this image of your hair
    going into your eye...
  • 88:18 - 88:22
    and I remember I pulled it back
    and there was this freckle.
  • 88:27 - 88:28
    Have you been crying?
  • 88:35 - 88:36
    Damn it!
  • 88:38 - 88:41
    This has been the worst day
    of my life.
  • 88:41 - 88:45
    You obviously know about the money. What
    you don't know is that I had to do it.
  • 88:45 - 88:49
    I would have been responsible
    for closing down the whole company.
  • 88:49 - 88:52
    I don't even know if you know
    I'm not married, which I'm not...
  • 88:52 - 88:55
    but I want to be.
  • 88:56 - 88:59
    - Would you please say something?
    - Why didn't you tell me?
  • 88:59 - 89:04
    I guess I didn't trust you
    to believe me...
  • 89:04 - 89:07
    that I wanted to marry you first...
  • 89:07 - 89:10
    and that the money was like
    a really big wedding gift.
  • 89:10 - 89:14
    I've spent the whole night asking
    every woman in the world to marry me.
  • 89:14 - 89:16
    "Every woman"?
  • 89:17 - 89:18
    You asked Buckley?
  • 89:18 - 89:22
    Every one but the one I want.
  • 89:29 - 89:33
    What was that that you were
    saying about my freckle?
  • 89:34 - 89:36
    It's still there.
  • 89:37 - 89:39
    If you want to walk away,
    I understand...
  • 89:39 - 89:41
    but I really got to tell you this.
  • 89:41 - 89:46
    Today I realized that the only thing
    really special about me is you.
  • 89:48 - 89:50
    I can spend my whole life,
    scared and alone...
  • 89:50 - 89:53
    rowing around with some priest...
  • 89:53 - 89:55
    or I could tell you
    how much I love you...
  • 89:56 - 89:58
    that you make me so happy...
  • 89:59 - 90:03
    and if it takes our whole married life
    to make it up to you...
  • 90:03 - 90:06
    I would be so honored
    just to have that chance.
  • 90:08 - 90:11
    I just want to be with you.
  • 90:11 - 90:12
    oh, my God.
  • 90:12 - 90:15
    Now that was a proposal.
  • 90:22 - 90:25
    We gotta go. We gotta go.
  • 90:26 - 90:30
    Father! Stay with him!
  • 90:30 - 90:32
    We'll get Anne! Come on, Roy!
  • 90:32 - 90:35
    Yeah, leave it
    to Abbott and Costello!
  • 90:36 - 90:37
    Where'd you get this?
  • 90:37 - 90:41
    Some preppy girl threw it over the
    staircase and ran off with another girl.
  • 90:53 - 90:55
    Eleven minutes to spare.
    Not bad, huh?
  • 90:55 - 90:57
    What do you mean?
    Where's Anne?
  • 90:57 - 90:59
    With Natalie, changing.
  • 91:13 - 91:15
    You look stunning.
  • 91:15 - 91:16
    I do?
  • 91:18 - 91:21
    Yeah, okay,
    maybe you're right. I do.
  • 91:21 - 91:23
    Missing you already.
  • 91:47 - 91:48
    Come on!
  • 91:51 - 91:52
    Where's Jimmie?
  • 92:01 - 92:04
    Get back here!
    Take it like a man!
  • 92:11 - 92:14
    Come on!
    Jiminy Christmas!
  • 92:27 - 92:29
    - Where's the priest?
    - You lost the priest?
  • 92:29 - 92:32
    Move it, fat boy!
  • 92:37 - 92:40
    Move away from the vehicle.
  • 92:42 - 92:44
    Excuse me.
  • 92:46 - 92:49
    Dearly beloved,
    we are gathered today...
  • 92:49 - 92:52
    to join two people
    in holy matrimony.
  • 92:52 - 92:55
    If you can hear this,
    give us a nod.
  • 92:55 - 92:56
    Good.
  • 92:58 - 93:01
    Anne.
    Is Anne out there?
  • 93:01 - 93:03
    I can't see her!
  • 93:07 - 93:10
    I'm right here, Father!
  • 93:13 - 93:17
    We are gathered here in the sight of
    God and the presence of this company...
  • 93:18 - 93:21
    to join Jimmie and Anne
    in holy matrimony.
  • 93:27 - 93:33
    The union of husband and...
    Never mind.
  • 93:34 - 93:36
    Do you take this Anne
    to have and to hold?
  • 93:37 - 93:38
    For richer, for poorer?
  • 93:38 - 93:41
    In sickness and in health,
    forsaking all others...
  • 93:41 - 93:42
    as long as you both shall live?
  • 93:48 - 93:50
    I do.
  • 93:50 - 93:51
    I do!
  • 93:52 - 93:55
    I thought you would.
  • 93:55 - 93:57
    Do you take this Jimmie
    to have and to hold?
  • 93:57 - 93:59
    For better or for worse?
  • 93:59 - 94:01
    For richer, for poorer?
  • 94:01 - 94:04
    In sickness and in health,
    forsaking all others...
  • 94:04 - 94:06
    - Excuse me.
    - for as long as you both shall live?
  • 94:06 - 94:08
    I do!
  • 94:15 - 94:17
    I do.
  • 94:17 - 94:20
    - Anne, I can't hear you!
    - I do!
  • 94:22 - 94:24
    Shut up!
  • 94:35 - 94:39
    oh, my gosh.
    How beautiful.
  • 94:39 - 94:41
    oh, how beautiful.
  • 94:42 - 94:47
    Listen, can I talk to you
    for just a second?
  • 94:49 - 94:55
    I've been proposed to
    really badly a lot...
  • 94:55 - 94:58
    and then proposed to...
  • 94:58 - 95:01
    pretty great, actually.
  • 95:02 - 95:04
    And, well, Jimmie...
  • 95:05 - 95:06
    he's not perfect...
  • 95:07 - 95:10
    but I love him.
  • 95:10 - 95:12
    And, well, he loves me.
  • 95:13 - 95:17
    So I think that
    he should be my husband.
  • 95:23 - 95:25
    There's my cake.
  • 95:29 - 95:32
    So could this...
  • 95:32 - 95:35
    Could this please be my day?
  • 95:46 - 95:51
    And now, by the power
    vested in me by God...
  • 95:51 - 95:54
    I pronounce you husband and wife.
  • 96:07 - 96:09
    Cake for everybody!
    Who wants cake?
  • 96:09 - 96:11
    Here you go, sweetheart.
    Have some cake.
  • 96:11 - 96:13
    There we go. Here we go.
  • 96:13 - 96:15
    Here you go, sweetheart.
    Have some cake.
  • 96:23 - 96:26
    Throw the bouquet!
    Throw the bouquet!
  • 96:26 - 96:28
    Throw it!
Title:
The Bachelor Full Movie Romantic Comedy Chris O'Donnell Renée Zellweger
Description:

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A committment-phobic man goes in search of a bride including his fed up girlfriend, to inherit his grandfather's $100 million inheritance.

Tags:
27 Dresses Full Movie
27 Dresses part 1 2 3 4 5
High School Musical 17 Again A Cinderella Story Fame (2009) Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure Bandslam (2009) Hannah Montana: The Movie Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam Look Who's Talking (1989) Overboard (1987) Bachelor Party (1984) Pretty Woman (1990) Cocktail (1988) You've Got Mail (1998) Meet the Parents (2000) Hitch I (2005) Notting Hill (1999) There's Something About Mary (1998) French Kiss (1995) My Best Friend's Wedding
more » « less
Video Language:
English, British
Duration:
01:36:49

English, British subtitles

Revisions

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