10 Things People Get Wrong About Asexual People

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- [Instructor] Hey Psych2Goers,

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Do you know what asexuality means?

According to the asexuality Visibility

and Education Network, or AVEN,

a person who identifies as asexual

does not experience sexual attraction

or an intrinsic desire to
have sexual relationships

with another.

It's important to know what it means

because there's a lot of stereotypes

and false misinformation
about the asexual community,

whether it's because of the assumptions

that are constantly made
about asexual people

or the misinformation

about how people experience asexuality.

There are many people who don't
fully understand what it is

and what it means.

So to help clear things
up here are 10 things

people get wrong about asexual people.

Misconception number one.

People assume that they just haven't found

the right one yet.

Sometimes when a person
identifies as asexual

and openly tells others about it,

they may be met with phrases such as,

"Don't worry, you just haven't
found the right one yet,

or give it time, you'll find somebody

who is the one for you.

This is a downright denial

of their feelings and orientation.

Finding or not finding the right person

has nothing to do with
someone's sexual orientation.

In cases like this, it's important

that you avoid making assumptions

and trust that they are the expert

of their own feelings and identity.

Misconception number two.

People who are asexual are
not attracted to anybody.

Just because somebody is asexual,

does not necessarily mean
that they're not attracted

to other people.

Being asexual means different
things to different people.

And although some asexual people

do not experience sexual
attraction towards others,

that doesn't mean that they
can't experience other forms

of attraction, such as
emotional, platonic,

sensual or even romantic
attraction to others.

Misconception number three.

People who are asexual hate
sex and do not have sex.

Not having sexual
attraction and hating sex

are two different concepts.

The asexual community isn't anti-sex,

but rather they do not feel
sexually attracted to anyone.

Some of them have sex, some masturbate,

while others might choose
to not have sex at all,

as they are repulsed
or uncomfortable by it.

Some may also express their intimacies

in other ways with each other.

Misconception number four.

Asexual people are celibate or abstinent.

Many people falsely think that
asexuality is the same thing

as celibacy or abstinence.

So let's be clear on definitions.

Abstinence is the
decision to not have sex.

This is usually temporary or changeable.

For example, you might abstain
from sex until marriage

or abstain during a
difficult period in your life

until you feel better.

Celibacy on the other hand
is about deciding to abstain

from sex possibly for religious, cultural,

or personal reasons and it's
often a lifelong commitment.

Abstinence and celibacy are choices,

whereas asexuality isn't.

What's more, asexual people
might not actually abstain

from sex at all.

As mentioned earlier, some
asexual people do have sex.

Misconception number five.

Asexual women do not get
periods or do not have a uterus.

Women who identify as asexual

are often asked dehumanizing questions

such as do you have a vagina
or do you have a uterus?

Regardless of whether a
woman is asexual or not,

these questions are extremely personal

and are not questions that should be asked

under basic courtesy.

The fact is asexuality is
only one type of identity

that has nothing to do
with a person's biology.

Misconception number six.

Asexuality is a medical concern.

Do you assume that if a
person identifies as asexual

than it means that there is
something wrong with them?

Like many others, you might
believe that biology dictates

that everybody must
experience sexual attraction

and that if they don't, then
something is wrong with them.

This is simply not the case.

Asexuality isn't a medical concern

and it is not something
that needs to be fixed.

Misconception number five.

People who are asexual
will never get married.

Are you someone who thinks

that because someone
identifies as asexual,

it means that they will be single forever?

Asexual people are often told

that they will never get married

or will stay single for
the rest of their lives.

But being asexual has nothing to do

with the desire to get married.

If they have a connection
with another person,

then there is no reason why they would not

or should not be allowed to get married.

Misconception number eight.

There is a reason why people are asexual.

Do you think that there is a
specific cause for asexuality?

A common misconception shared
with other orientations,

such as homosexuality and bisexuality

is that there is a reason
or underlying cause

for someone's sexuality.

But asexuality isn't
genetic, the result of trauma

or caused by anything else.

Misconception number nine.

Asexual people tend to
dress a certain way.

Like with other sexual orientations,

there are stereotypes that exist

that suggest asexual people
dress in a certain way.

Statements such as prudish,

ugly according to beauty
standards or shy nerds

are often used to belittle
and mock asexual people.

But the fact of the matter is,

that being asexual has
nothing to do with your attire,

the jokes you crack or how you behave.

And misconception number 10,

all asexuals experience no
sexual attraction at all.

Not everything is black or white.

Like how people view
sexuality is a spectrum,

asexuality can be seen
as a spectrum as well.

Some in the asexual community

can experience no sexual attraction,

a little sexual attraction

or even a lot of sexual attraction.

Everyone can experience different levels

of sexual attraction and still be part

of the asexual community.

But interestingly enough, one
that is seen as a midpoint

between asexuality and
sexuality is grey-sexuality.

Grey sexual people rarely
experienced sexual attraction

at all or they experience
it with very low intensity.

Did you learn something
new about asexuality?

Let us know in the comments below.

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