< Return to Video

My Journey to Start a School for Girls in Kenya: Kakenya Ntaiya at TEDxMidAtlantic

  • 0:19 - 0:23
    There's a group of people in Kenya,
  • 0:23 - 0:27
    people cross oceans to go see them.
  • 0:27 - 0:35
    These people are tall, they jump high,
    they wear red and they kill lions.
  • 0:35 - 0:38
    You might be wondering,
    who are those people?
  • 0:38 - 0:41
    These are the Maasais.
  • 0:41 - 0:43
    And you know what's cool?
  • 0:43 - 0:47
    I'm actually one of them.
    (Laughter)
  • 0:47 - 0:51
    The Maasais, the boys are brought up
    to be warriors,
  • 0:51 - 0:55
    the girls are brought up to be mothers.
  • 0:55 - 1:00
    When I was five years old,
    I found out that I was engaged,
  • 1:00 - 1:03
    to be married as soon as I reach puberty.
  • 1:03 - 1:06
    My mother, my grandmother, my aunties,
  • 1:06 - 1:11
    they constantly reminded me
    that, "Your husband just passed by."
  • 1:11 - 1:15
    (Laughter)
    Cool, yeah?
  • 1:16 - 1:19
    And everything I had to do from that moment
  • 1:19 - 1:25
    was to prepare me to be
    a perfect woman at the age of 12.
  • 1:25 - 1:27
    My day started at five in the morning,
  • 1:27 - 1:30
    milking the cows, sweeping the house,
    cooking for my siblings,
  • 1:30 - 1:35
    collecting water, fire wood.
  • 1:35 - 1:42
    I did everything that I needed to do,
    to become a perfect wife
  • 1:42 - 1:48
    I went to school not because
    the Maasai women all go to school.
  • 1:48 - 1:51
    It's because my mother
    was denied an eduction
  • 1:51 - 1:55
    and she constantly reminded
    me and my siblings that,
  • 1:55 - 1:59
    she never wanted us
    to live the life she was living.
  • 1:59 - 2:01
    Why did she say that?
  • 2:01 - 2:06
    My father worked
    as a policemen in the city,
  • 2:06 - 2:11
    he came home once a year, we didn't see him
    for sometimes even 2 years.
  • 2:11 - 2:15
    And whenever he came home,
    it was a different case.
  • 2:15 - 2:20
    My mother worked hard in the farm
    to grow crop so that we can eat,
  • 2:20 - 2:24
    she read the cows and the goats
    so that she can care for us.
  • 2:24 - 2:27
    But when my father came,
    he would sell the cows,
  • 2:27 - 2:29
    he would sell the products we had
  • 2:29 - 2:33
    and he went and drank
    with his friends in the bars.
  • 2:33 - 2:38
    Becasue my mother a women,
    she was not allowed to own any property
  • 2:38 - 2:40
    and by default everything in my family,
  • 2:40 - 2:43
    anyway, belonged to my father
    so he had the right.
  • 2:43 - 2:48
    And if my mother ever questioned him,
    he'd beat her, abused her
  • 2:48 - 2:52
    and really, it was difficult.
  • 2:52 - 2:57
    When I went to school, I had a dream,
    I wanted to become a teacher.
  • 2:57 - 3:02
    Teachers looked nice, they wear
    nice dresses, high-heeled shoes --
  • 3:02 - 3:05
    I found later that they were
    uncomfortable, but I admired it.
  • 3:05 - 3:08
    (Laughter)
  • 3:08 - 3:12
    But most of all, the teacher
    was just writing on the board --
  • 3:12 - 3:15
    not hard work, that's what I thought,
  • 3:15 - 3:20
    compared to what I was doing at the farm,
    so I wanted to become a teacher.
  • 3:20 - 3:24
    I worked hard in school,
    but when I was an eight grader,
  • 3:24 - 3:26
    it was a determining factor.
  • 3:26 - 3:31
    In our tradition, there's a ceremony that girls
    have to undergo to become a woman.
  • 3:31 - 3:34
    And it's a right of passage to womanhood.
  • 3:34 - 3:37
    And then I was just finishing my eight grade
  • 3:37 - 3:40
    and that was a transition
    for me to go to higschool,
  • 3:40 - 3:41
    this was the crossroad.
  • 3:41 - 3:47
    Once I go through this tradtion
    I was going to become a wife.
  • 3:47 - 3:51
    Well, my dream of becoming a teacher
    will not come to pass.
  • 3:51 - 3:56
    So I had to come up with a plan
    to figure these things out.
  • 3:56 - 4:00
    I talked to my father, I did something
    that most girls have never done.
  • 4:00 - 4:06
    I told my father, I will only go through this
    ceremony if you'l let me go back to school.
  • 4:06 - 4:12
    The reason why, if I ran away, my father will
    have a stigma, people will be calling him,
  • 4:12 - 4:15
    "The father of that girl who
    didn't go through the ceremony."
  • 4:15 - 4:19
    It was a shameful thing for him
    to carry the rest of his life.
  • 4:19 - 4:21
    So he figured out - well, he said,
  • 4:21 - 4:25
    "OK, you'll go to school
    after the ceremony."
  • 4:25 - 4:32
    I did. The ceremony happenned,
    it's a whole week long of excitments.
  • 4:32 - 4:34
    It's a ceremony, people are enjoying.
  • 4:34 - 4:37
    And the day before
    the actual ceremony happens,
  • 4:37 - 4:40
    we were dancing, having exceitments
  • 4:40 - 4:43
    and through all the night,
    we did not sleep.
  • 4:43 - 4:46
    The actual day came
    and we walked out of the house
  • 4:46 - 4:48
    and we were dancing,
  • 4:48 - 4:51
    as we danced and danced
    and we walked out of the courtyard
  • 4:51 - 4:55
    and there were a bunch of people waiting,
    they were all in a circle.
  • 4:55 - 5:00
    And as we dance and dance,
    and we approach this circle of women -
  • 5:00 - 5:02
    men, women, children everybody was there.
  • 5:02 - 5:05
    There was a women
    sitting in the middle of it
  • 5:05 - 5:10
    and this women was waiting to hold us,
  • 5:10 - 5:14
    and I was the first, there were my sisters
    and a couple of other girls.
  • 5:14 - 5:23
    As I approach her, she looked at me
    and I sat down and I opened my legs.
  • 5:23 - 5:30
    As I opened my leg, another women came,
    and this women was carrying a knife.
  • 5:30 - 5:34
    And she carried the knife
    she walked towards me,
  • 5:34 - 5:37
    and she held my clitoris,
    and she cut it off.
  • 5:39 - 5:43
    As you can imagine, I bled. I bled.
  • 5:43 - 5:47
    After bleeding for a while,
    I fainted there after.
  • 5:48 - 5:54
    It's something that so many girls -
    I'm lucky I never died, but many die.
  • 5:55 - 5:59
    It's practice with no anaesthesia,
    it's a rusty old knife
  • 6:01 - 6:04
    and it was difficult.
  • 6:04 - 6:09
    I was lucky because my mom
    did something that most women don't do
  • 6:09 - 6:12
    three days later,
    after everybody has left the home
  • 6:12 - 6:14
    my mom went and brought a nurse.
  • 6:14 - 6:18
    We were taken care of,
    three weeks later I was healed
  • 6:18 - 6:20
    and I was back in high school.
  • 6:21 - 6:24
    I was so determined to be a teacher now
  • 6:24 - 6:28
    so that I can make a difference
    in my family.
  • 6:28 - 6:32
    Well, while I was in high school,
    something happened,
  • 6:32 - 6:35
    I met another young gentlemen
    from our village
  • 6:35 - 6:38
    who had been to the university of Oregon.
  • 6:38 - 6:44
    This man was wearing
    a white T-shirt, jeans, a camera,
  • 6:44 - 6:46
    white sneakers -
    and I'm talking about white sneakers.
  • 6:46 - 6:50
    There's something about clothes I think
    and shoes. (Laughter)
  • 6:50 - 6:55
    And this was in a village
    that didn't even have paved roads,
  • 6:55 - 6:58
    it was quite attractive.
    (Laughter)
  • 6:58 - 7:02
    I told him, "I want to go
    to where you are,"
  • 7:02 - 7:07
    because this man looked very happy
    and I admired that.
  • 7:07 - 7:08
    And he told me,
  • 7:08 - 7:13
    "Well, what do you mean you want to go,
    don't you have a husband waiting for you?"
  • 7:13 - 7:14
    And I told him,
  • 7:14 - 7:18
    "Don't worry about that part,
    just tell me how to get there."
  • 7:18 - 7:21
    This gentlemen, he helped me.
  • 7:21 - 7:25
    While I was in school also,
    my dad was sick, he got a stroke -
  • 7:25 - 7:31
    and he was really sick so he really
    couldn't tell me what to do next.
  • 7:31 - 7:34
    But the problem is my father
    is not the only father I have.
  • 7:34 - 7:39
    Everybody who is my dad's age, male,
    in the community, is my father by default.
  • 7:39 - 7:44
    My uncles, all of them,
    they dictate what my future is.
  • 7:44 - 7:47
    So the news came,
    and I applied to school
  • 7:47 - 7:52
    and I was accepted to Randolph-Macon
    Woman's College, In Lynchburg, Virginia
  • 7:52 - 7:55
    and I couldn't come
    without the support of the village
  • 7:55 - 7:58
    because I needed to raise money
    to buy the air ticket.
  • 7:58 - 8:01
    I got a scholarship,
    but I needed to get myself here.
  • 8:01 - 8:04
    But I needed the support of the village
  • 8:04 - 8:08
    and here again,
    when the men, the people heard
  • 8:08 - 8:11
    that a women had gotten
    an opportunity to go to school
  • 8:11 - 8:13
    they said, "What a lost opportunity,
  • 8:13 - 8:17
    this should have been given to a boy
    we can't do this."
  • 8:17 - 8:22
    So I went back,
    and I had to go back to the tradition.
  • 8:22 - 8:27
    There's a belief among our people
    that morning brings good news.
  • 8:27 - 8:30
    So, I had I to come up with something
    to do with the morning
  • 8:30 - 8:33
    because there's good news in the morning.
  • 8:33 - 8:38
    And in the village also there's one chief
    or person, male, an elder
  • 8:38 - 8:41
    if he says "Yes,"everybody
    will follow him.
  • 8:41 - 8:45
    So I went to him, very early
    in the morning, as the sun had rised,
  • 8:45 - 8:49
    the first thing that he sees
    when he opens his door is me.
  • 8:49 - 8:51
    "My child, what are you doing here?"
  • 8:51 - 8:56
    "Well Dad, I need help, can you support me
    to go to America?"
  • 8:56 - 8:59
    I promised him that I'll be the best girl,
    I will come back
  • 8:59 - 9:04
    anything they wanted after that,
    I will do it for them.
  • 9:04 - 9:06
    He said, "Well, but I can't do it alone."
  • 9:06 - 9:11
    He gave me a list of other 15 men
    that I went, 16 more men.
  • 9:11 - 9:14
    Every single morning
    I went and visited them.
  • 9:14 - 9:17
    They all came together - the village,
    the women, the men.
  • 9:17 - 9:22
    Everybody came together to support me
    to come, to get an education.
  • 9:22 - 9:26
    I arrived in America,
    as you can imagine, what did I find?
  • 9:26 - 9:30
    (Laughter)
    I found snow,
  • 9:30 - 9:32
    I found Walmart,
  • 9:32 - 9:36
    vacuum cleaners
    and lots of food in the cafeteria.
  • 9:36 - 9:42
    I was in a land of plenty.
    I enjoyed myself,
  • 9:42 - 9:47
    but during that moment while I was here,
    I discovered a lot of things
  • 9:47 - 9:53
    I learned that, that ceremony that I went
    through when I was 13 years old
  • 9:53 - 9:56
    was called female genital mutilation.
  • 9:56 - 9:59
    I learned that it was against the law
    in Kenya,
  • 9:59 - 10:04
    I learned that, I did not have to trade
    part of my body
  • 10:04 - 10:07
    to get and eduction, I had a right!
  • 10:07 - 10:11
    And as we speak right now,
    three million girls in Africa
  • 10:11 - 10:16
    are at risk of undergoing through
    this mutilation.
  • 10:16 - 10:19
    I learned that my mom
    had a right to own property,
  • 10:19 - 10:25
    I learned that did not have to abused
    because she was a women.
  • 10:25 - 10:28
    Those things made me angry.
  • 10:28 - 10:30
    I wanted to do something.
  • 10:30 - 10:34
    Every time I went back, I found
    that my neighbours' girls
  • 10:34 - 10:37
    were getting married,
    they were getting mutilated.
  • 10:37 - 10:42
    And after I graduated from here,
    I worked at the UN, I went back to school
  • 10:42 - 10:48
    to get my graduate work, the constant cry
    of these girls was on my face.
  • 10:48 - 10:50
    I had to do something.
  • 10:50 - 10:53
    As I went back, I started
    talking to the men,
  • 10:53 - 10:55
    to the village, and mothers and I said,
  • 10:55 - 10:57
    "I want to give back
    the way I had promised you
  • 10:57 - 10:59
    that I would come back and help you.
  • 10:59 - 11:00
    What do you need?"
  • 11:00 - 11:02
    As I spoke to the women, they told me,
  • 11:02 - 11:05
    "You know what we need?
    We really need a school for girls."
  • 11:05 - 11:07
    Because there had not been
    any schools for girls.
  • 11:07 - 11:10
    And the reason they wanted
    the school for girls
  • 11:10 - 11:12
    is because when a girl is raped
    when she's walking to school
  • 11:12 - 11:14
    the mother is blamed for that.
  • 11:14 - 11:18
    If she got pregnant
    before she got married,
  • 11:18 - 11:21
    the mother is blamed for that
    and she's punished, she's beaten.
  • 11:21 - 11:25
    They said, "We wanted to put our girls
    in a safe place."
  • 11:25 - 11:28
    As we moved,
    and I went to talk to the fathers,
  • 11:28 - 11:31
    he fathers of course,
    you can imagine what they said,
  • 11:31 - 11:33
    "We want a school for boys."
  • 11:33 - 11:37
    And I said, well, there are a couple
    of many men from my village
  • 11:37 - 11:39
    who had been out
    and they've got an education
  • 11:39 - 11:44
    why can't they build a school for boys
    and I'll build a school for girls?
  • 11:44 - 11:47
    That made sens and they agreed.
  • 11:47 - 11:52
    And I told them, I wanted them to show me
    a sign of commitment
  • 11:52 - 11:53
    and they did.
  • 11:53 - 11:58
    They donated land where we build
    the girls' school, we have.
  • 11:58 - 12:01
    I want you to meet
    one of the girls in that school.
  • 12:01 - 12:04
    Angelene came to apply for the school
  • 12:04 - 12:07
    and she did not meet
    any criterias that we had.
  • 12:07 - 12:10
    She's an orphan, yes.
    We could have taken her for that,
  • 12:10 - 12:14
    but she was 12 years old
    and we were taking in girls
  • 12:14 - 12:16
    who were in the fourth grade.
  • 12:16 - 12:19
    Everybody were telling us Angelene
    had been moving from one place,
  • 12:19 - 12:22
    because she's an orphan,
    she has no mother, she has no father,
  • 12:22 - 12:25
    moving from one grandmother's house
    to another one
  • 12:25 - 12:28
    from aunties to aunties,
    she had no stability in her life.
  • 12:28 - 12:31
    And people said, and I looked at her
    I remembered that day,
  • 12:31 - 12:36
    and I saw something beyond
    what I was seeing in Angelene
  • 12:36 - 12:38
    and yes she was older
    to be in fourth grade,
  • 12:38 - 12:41
    we gave her the opportunity
    to come the class.
  • 12:41 - 12:44
    Five months later, there is Angelene.
  • 12:44 - 12:47
    A transformation had begun in her life
  • 12:47 - 12:51
    Angelene wants to be a pilot
    so she can fly around the world
  • 12:51 - 12:52
    and [make] a difference.
  • 12:52 - 12:55
    She was not the top student
    when we took her,
  • 12:55 - 12:57
    now she's the best student
    not just in our school,
  • 12:57 - 13:00
    but in the entire division that we are in.
  • 13:00 - 13:04
    She's showing different, that's Sharon,
    that's five years later,
  • 13:04 - 13:10
    that's Avaleen, five months later,
    that's the difference that we are making
  • 13:10 - 13:13
    As a new dawn is happening in my school
  • 13:13 - 13:15
    A new beginning is happening,
  • 13:15 - 13:21
    as we speak right now
    125 girls will never be mutilated.
  • 13:21 - 13:27
    125 girls will not be married
    when they are 12 years old.
  • 13:27 - 13:33
    125 girls are creating
    and achieving their dreams.
  • 13:33 - 13:35
    This is the thing that we are doing -
  • 13:35 - 13:38
    giving them opportunities
    so they can rise.
  • 13:38 - 13:42
    As we speak right now,
    women are not being beaten
  • 13:42 - 13:45
    because of the revolutions
    we've started in our community.
  • 13:45 - 13:54
    (Applause)
  • 13:54 - 13:56
    I want to challenge you today
  • 13:56 - 14:01
    you're listening to me because
    you are here very optimistic.
  • 14:01 - 14:05
    You are somebody who is so passionate
  • 14:05 - 14:09
    You are somebody who wants
    to see a better world.
  • 14:09 - 14:12
    You are somebody who wants to
    see the war end.
  • 14:12 - 14:13
    No poverty.
  • 14:13 - 14:16
    You are somebody who wants to
    make a difference.
  • 14:16 - 14:19
    You are somebody who wants to
    make our tomorrow better.
  • 14:19 - 14:23
    I want to challenge today
    to be there first -
  • 14:23 - 14:26
    because people will follow you.
  • 14:26 - 14:28
    Be the first - people will follow you
  • 14:28 - 14:31
    Be bold - standup.
  • 14:31 - 14:32
    Be fearless.
  • 14:32 - 14:34
    Be confident.
  • 14:34 - 14:37
    Move out because
    as you change your world,
  • 14:37 - 14:39
    as you change your community,
  • 14:39 - 14:44
    as we believe we are impacting
    one girl, one family,
  • 14:44 - 14:47
    one village, one country at a time.
  • 14:47 - 14:49
    We are making a difference.
  • 14:49 - 14:52
    So if you change your world,
    you're going to change your community,
  • 14:52 - 14:54
    you're going to change your country.
  • 14:54 - 14:57
    And think about that,
    if you do that and I do that,
  • 14:57 - 14:59
    aren't we going to create a better future,
  • 14:59 - 15:03
    for our children, for your children,
    for our grandchildren,
  • 15:03 - 15:05
    and we will live in a very peaceful world.
  • 15:05 - 15:07
    Thank you very much.
  • 15:07 - 15:21
    (Applause)
Title:
My Journey to Start a School for Girls in Kenya: Kakenya Ntaiya at TEDxMidAtlantic
Description:

Kakenya Ntaiya was set to follow the traditional path of all girls born in the small village of Enoosaen, Kenya of marrying in a young age and being circumcised. In this talk, she describes how she decided to change that reality for other girls.

more » « less
Video Language:
English
Team:
closed TED
Project:
TEDxTalks
Duration:
15:42

English subtitles

Revisions Compare revisions