Taming The Tiger Within | Dharma Talk by Br Ngo Khong | 2020 05 10, Deer Park Monastery

[Music]

do you respect the tie dear brothers

here in the hall

dear Sangha today is Mother's Day and I

would like to send my love to my mother

for supporting me all the time in so

many ways to be here right now all the

conditions she had prepared and was

there for me and I want to also thank

her mother and the mother of my mother's

mother I want to thank the ancestral

stream of my blood ancestors going far

back and I also want to thank our

teacher ty for nourishing me for being

such a transformative and meaningful

also mother to me with a lot of love and

care teaching me how to handle life how

to take care of myself and I would also

like to say thank you to Ty's teacher

and the teacher of Ty's teacher and the

stream of our spiritual ancestors going

far back to the Buddha who is sitting

here behind me very peacefully and

having my back literally and I feel safe

and at ease knowing that both my blood

ancestors we have an altar here for our

blood ancestors and my spiritual

ancestors on the other side with the

Buddha having my back I know I can be

very grateful

I want to share my story with you

mmm a classic Zen story about a man and

a horse and you might know it there is a

horse and this horse is galloping very

fast racing and the man on the horse it

looks like he needs to go somewhere very

important maybe his wife is giving birth

or he has an urgent message for the king

to deliver their racing and there is a

man standing at the side of the road

seeing that and as they come racing by

this man shouts hey where are you going

and the man on the horse replies I don't

know ask the horse off he goes and this

man stands there asked the horse ask the

horse so the title of the talk today I

chose his taming the tiger within and

you might ask why taming the tiger with

him well I don't know ask the tiger in

in Buddhist teachings the horse stands

for habit energies and the same as the

horsemen it just carries us away and we

don't know where it is going

these strong habit energies they take

the choice from us they are running

running us away and we don't know where

we will get to and the tiger stands for

strong emotions within us and the tiger

is a dangerous animal and so can be

strong emotions they can threaten us and

threaten the people around us

and I believe in these times where we

are staying more at home that our habit

energies show up more often and awesome

more strong being with people around us

for a longer time being closer with

family and I remember my dad telling me

when when I was a little kid he said

people are habitual animals they get

used to everything habitual animals

that's a German word and it translates

into creature of habit in English but in

German you say governor I'd steer

habitual animal and I remember I was

confused when he said that people are

habitual animals as I was confused I was

a kid of five or six how can a human be

an animal and just didn't sit right with

me but now I see the Horace a tiger

maybe he was referring to that and also

he said they're getting used to

everything and I see nowadays we are

getting used to everything they say stay

at home save lives we stay at home and

we save lives and some of us I got used

to go out and they struggle a little bit

but if it takes longer we will get used

to that too we got used to not going to

baseball games anymore

we got used to not going to rock

concerts anymore so

this metaphor of the horse as a strong

habit energy I found this a little bit

outdated I mean nobody has an urgent

message for the king anymore we don't

ride horses so I want to offer maybe a

more modern or a more accurate version

of that which is a moving walkway

imagine in the airports so you come

there with your trolley and you can walk

like the hundred-yard so you see there's

this walkway and that makes it much

easier for me so you go with you Charlie

you step on that walkway and it does

everything for you you don't need to

think you don't need to do anything no

to move your legs but also you cannot do

anything it will just take you basically

like the horse now you find yourself on

that walkway and you slowly are walked

forward and then you think I haven't had

a coffee maybe I'd like to buy a coffee

and sure enough on the right side of the

walkway there is a coffee shop but not

for you you are on the walkway there is

no exit then you you walk or you get

walked a little bit further you think

wow this is a long flight maybe I want

to buy a magazine or a book and yes

there is the bookshop to your right

passing by not for you maybe later and

you need to see the restroom really

urgent and the restroom is right there

but you cannot access it I mean you can

like jump over the handle but we know

it's not legal and it's also dangerous

and you could turn around and run or

walk against the walkway but if you ever

tried to walk or saw a kid walking

against the walkway you know that you

don't move if you stay at the same place

so we have to wait until that walkway

unloads us somewhere in the future we

have to be patient and without

control and choice until the end of the

walkway and I find this makes more sense

to me so as you can imagine it's going

to be in the direction of habit energies

today and let us have a closer look what

kind of habit energies we have we often

look at other languages all the

languages if we want to describe things

in sutras or or teachings because they

often offer us the roots of the word or

the meaning of the word so we look into

Pali Sanskrit or Chinese and I looked up

habit in Chinese to see what what it

says and usually we have two characters

in Chinese different words that come

together as and build a new word and

from these two words you can see where

it came from so let me write down habit

in Chinese for you

I remember I don't write Chinese maybe I

should make the other habit but I know

someone who does

rather minion will you be so kind and

write habit in Chinese just here in the

upper middle please brother minion is my

roommate and he's excellent in Chinese

he's writing calligraphies and I see him

diligently studying studying amazing and

his name translated his brother kindness

and I find this is very kind of you to

help me out here in this situation

Wow this is habit huh okay that's good

enough for me

I wouldn't I wouldn't have seen the

difference thank you very much rather

minion so two characters what I do know

because I looked it up that the word

habit in Chinese consists of this

character here which means learning or

and receive training in that's pretty

clear and like goes into a certain

direction to learn something like a

habit we we learn something we receive

training and something practicing is

another translation the second word

means no I don't have too much space but

we will get around to be used to haha or

to be accustomed to accustomed to also

make sense for the world habit it's a

nice combination so we're learning to

get used to something we received

training in in to be accustomed to

something to learn a habit and to me it

sounds like little by little these

continuous drops where a stone little

strokes fell big Oaks right we learn

something and we get used to it so

we'll come back to that later

to that meaning what kind of habits do

we see or face in our daily lives and

when I look at my habits I see some of

them are like a ritual I'll make a

ritual out of it

dedicate a time and some are more

routine as we said to save time to save

energy like stepping on the walkway and

instead of walking I want to save energy

so we have ritual let's say versus

routine can you read that from over

there

and a ritual is something you practice

with awareness you're very awake let's

say awake versus asleep when you do a

routine and you do it just for the sake

of not wasting much thinking you don't

have to be really there so we can say

the first one is like mindfulness versus

forgetfulness from Ed fulness and to

give you an example like a ritual can be

like a tea ceremony and we all like to

drink tea and we know how much care and

these tiny little parts it demands and

having this wonderful roommate brother

kindness he doesn't only have Chinese

skills he also has Japanese skills

because he's a matrimony natural master

and it's amazing to watch him making tea

he takes only a little amount of this

green powder and he puts it there then a

little amount of water whisking not too

much and he really has to be there in

order not to do too much or too hard or

too

and and it becomes a ritual versus let

us say coffee tea and coffee everybody

knows I guess when you wake up in the

morning and you find your way to the

kitchen to where you assume the coffee

machine was yesterday half asleep and

you make your coffee and sometimes you

would feel the water into the bean

hopper or the coffee ground into the

container where the water goes because

you are still asleep the other day and

brother mignon was making matcha I

wanted to put the beans in my grinder

and I spilled it and they were

everywhere and I was like oh why is this

always happening before coffee you know

and the answer is because it is before

coffee after coffee these things

wouldn't happen you would be awake

mindful so this is a difference between

ritual and routine just to give you like

a example another kind of habit energy

there are good habit energies should I

continue just hear the word have it

already good habits versus bad habits

and because that sounds so bad let's say

we have helpful habits that contribute

to our well-being helpful habits versus

harmful they harm us and what do they

harm I mean we are talking in terms of

practice we are practitioners I guess

everybody who is watching Dhamma talk

has something to do with mindfulness and

is eager to develop its practice so

helpful whereas as harmful means to

establish a practice body more

mindfulness to go deeper

and what are good habits and bad habits

oops this God have it do you see then

God habit is surely a good habit so as

practitioners is the best habit as

practitioners let me get my energy cable

right here as practitioners for sure a

good habit to cultivate is to follow

your breathing first thing waking up you

know you wake up in the morning and if

you don't follow your breathing first

thing if my your mind might take over

like the horse and carry you somewhere

for example to the coffee maker saying

okay you know I have to get out of this

bed I have to go there make this right

turn left to the kitchen the coffee

maker I guess is somewhere there and if

this thinking kicks in you're basically

already lost from the very thing in the

morning so a good habit follow your

breathing follow your your belly rising

and falling your the air flowing in and

out naturally to your body and during

the day we can continue another good

habit during the day is what we do here

in practice centers is stopping to have

else of mindfulness to have reminders to

make a stop our thinking our actions

what we are doing what we're feeling

just to check in calm down and get in

touch with ourselves again seeing if

we've been carried away if we've been on

a horse on a walkway and if necessary to

get off the horse or get off the walkway

and how we do that we come later come to

that later

that's one good that's a good habit to

another one and this is a funny one in a

in a Sangha meeting in an online sangha

meeting I asked the Sangha members to

exactly do a change a habit change a

habit like with a coffee machine and say

put in the evening your coffee machine

in another place just to change

something so when you come to the

kitchen in the morning asleep forgetful

as a routine and you don't find your

coffee machine because you're not

thinking and then you will wake up and

you will think and then you are awake

and you can do your coffee as a ritual

so Jim let's call him Jim right Jim said

he did it and he he placed his almond

creamer somewhere else so when he came

the very next morning and as it happens

again he was asleep he was forgetful he

was in that I know how to make coffee

thing it's an automatism is a it's an

algorithm going on this-this-this it

comes to the creamer and his creamer is

not in the cabinet where it used to be

he was really confused he said I looked

again still not still not in there he

looked maybe next door it was nowhere

next door and then he remembered and

said ah and that was this moment of

awakening aha

now I remember now I wake up I'm from my

routine yesterday I put it somewhere

else in order to come to this state of

mind but where where did I put it and he

forgot where he put it so he had to look

a little bit around but finally he found

and could enjoy his coffee with his

creamer and we have bad habits on the

opposite we also have everybody has bad

habits

nobody's free from that we try to make

our lives more easy without much

thinking or engaging save energy

and huh strange enough often a habit

energy is to to not being able to stop

thinking and to actually engage all the

time

which is to me not saving energy but it

can be so - I called that radio NST we

listen to our radio NST all the time and

NST is a station that means non stop

thinking radio non-stop thinking we

don't give us a break to come back to

our breathing to be and to come alive to

be there to be awake to be mindful but

this thinking keeps us going and now I

can do this and then I can do that and

what happened here what happened there

look at this and we engage ourselves all

the time that's a bad habit that's why

we have that good habit of stopping

during the day another bad habit could

be that we are not capable of taking

care of feelings or thoughts that come

up which are not very pleasant or

difficult to handle or to accept and we

tend to fight them put them away nope or

we ignore them what is there a problem I

don't see a problem or we cover them up

saying oops sadness no no I need a

peanut butter cake that makes me happy

or I need this piece of music and we

cover up by filling it filling in

something else which is not the original

thing that's a bad habit too because it

is harmful it doesn't help us to get to

know us and to get to lover ourselves we

try to stay away because we find it

unpleasant or discomfort discomfort and

then there are other bad habits average

bad habits

everybody knows simply being late

or being always right and we all know

people in our lives who are always late

or always right and no I'm not talking

to anyone specific here but you probably

know someone okay and then we have

another set of habit energies but no

more space on the board so I'll make

some maybe we do I just need to go down

a little bit and this is also very

meaningful because now we come to the

ancestral habit energy so when I go down

to my knees I go down and kneel down in

front of my ancestors so we have

ancestral let's just make clear that

this doesn't belong to this ancestral

habits verses it's called them personal

habits ancestral and this ancestral

that's enough and we also all have them

every family has inherited habit

energies from their from their father's

from their mothers and from their

fathers from your grandparents and we

need also know them and when we are

young we say oh my dad is like that I

will never become like my dad only like

two forty years later I see myself doing

exact the same thing and sometimes I

open my mouth and my mom comes out

saying you should wear socks you'll get

a cold my dear say mom what are you

doing here right so that there can be

very strong be going because it goes a

long way it goes our parents our

grandparents great the stream of all our

ancestors so we have two parents we have

four four grandparents we have eight

grand grandparents we have sixteen

second grade

grandparents and I looked it up by the

time we come to our 18th

great-grandparents they are 1 million

ancestors having our back and that's a

very strong stream there's a very strong

current and this stream of ancestral

habits carries helpful seeds and carries

harmful seeds to helpful seats just

cultivated by experience and by volition

and harmful habits because we were not

able to see our ancestors were not able

to see it or they didn't have a practice

to stop it so there was no recognition

maybe there was there no kept of the

capability of dealing with this and we

just passed them on and it is difficult

to say where it all started we can blame

our parents we can blame our

grandparents for doing it to my parents

which did it to us but it's very

difficult when you have after 18th

generation you have 1 million people who

to blame and you rather you rather take

care of what is now instead of going

back in the past and looking what went

wrong and who did it

there's an Italian saying in our Italian

brother used to say it's not about the

sinner it's about the sin so we don't

want to point fingers to something but

we want to do something in transform

something so I have in my family also

helpful and harmful habits and not

really a harmful but kind of a bad funny

habit in my family is food it's all

around food my family lost food and why

this is another this is another story

probably but when we go shopping my mom

my dad or me or my sister or together

pest together we buy a lot we buy a lot

of food and we say show me show me

buying like one more cabbage

maybe we need it yeah sure or better to

take two packages of this sure go ahead

you know and then of course we store a

lot of food at home and we have a big

pantry and a big storage and the

basement in the kitchen everywhere and

because there's this wish or you know

always to have a lot or enough or you

never know maybe guests are coming so we

cook a lot you know in case somebody

brings their friend home or you never

know so you better cook more than two

less and because we cook a lot we also

eat a lot we'd like to eat and I learned

later when I went to friends or in my

monastic life to two different lay

friends to their houses nobody eats as

much as my family and I had to share

this one day with my family yes and we

are eating too much so I said what do

you mean were you eating too much I said

well nobody eats as much as we do and

they couldn't believe me and because we

eat so much but we of course we are no

you see we are not like my parents are

not very big or strong so we have

leftovers we have also a lot of

leftovers and these leftovers we have to

freeze and yeah cook another day or warm

them up another day and I have inherited

this this habit energy when I was the

shopper here Deer Park I was exactly

like my mom I opened my mouth and my mom

spoke now let's take one more box

brother because you never know you know

how many people will come for the day of

mindfulness and the mind can come up

with a lot of different reasons why and

you can ask my cooking team here I'm

always cooking too much because I'm

staying there and I'm pouring in things

into my pots and I think will this be

enough like in counting the brothers

seeing they're all young they're all

strong they had working meditation I

better better one more and I pour it in

and fair enough I'm also eating too much

I'm standing in front of the serving

line

and I'm doing my contemplations and I

vow to be moderate and not to eat too

much not to take too much on my bowl

until I stand there with my bowl in

front of the tray or pot and I do one

spoon and two spoons I think it's only

half-full

I'm really hungry and I don't know what

fear comes up there will I starve today

is this the my last day because I didn't

take a third spoon it's ridiculous but

this is what is going on in me so I'm

taking two more just to be sure and just

to find out while eating no I'm full

already there's still a half bowl in

here exactly the amount I was I was

starting to consider not to take any

more and when we are cooking because I'm

cooking so much we also have leftovers

so now in a you know monastery with

cooking or rotation you have another

cooking team cooking the next day and so

one excuse for me could be and that the

cooking team next day has to cook less

and some brothers are happy they're

saying that's great cook as much as you

want because they know me so I have less

work the next day but others would also

like to offer a dish like I'm I really

love cooking and I really like offering

dishes to to the brothers and I'm taking

the chance for these brothers to cook

their own dish because they have to warm

up my leftovers so that's uh I call it

funny but it's a bad habit and I'm still

working on it on the other side my

family has wonderful habits my family

loves people

very generous to help when people I need

my family's just and engaged we had a

lot of in my family we had a lot of

monks priests from the Catholic side we

had mayors we had politicians my dad is

engaged my mother in the community my

dad in politics so really just I'm a

Buddhist monk and that's a beautiful

habit energy that we hope we can pass on

if not to my children then I can pass it

on by my actions

my deeds and words and personal habits

so the ancestral have this strong

current and personal habits are

something I develop and cultivate my own

life based on experiences or hurts I

have experienced or just ideas

ideologies that I take on and cultivate

a habit that forms my identity too so a

bad habit of mine which I have is money

you don't want to give me money I cannot

handle money and maybe this is a reason

I became a monk because we don't have

money we have a little bit of pocket

money and I cannot keep money with me I

just don't value it enough I never did

my mom when when I was a teenager I

started going out and I asked her if she

has some money for me and for the

weekend and she says how much do you

need and I said whatever and she gave me

she said for the whole weekend

okay I'll give you 100 so she gave me

hundred and she said don't forget to

bring back the change I said sure so

Sunday night I come back home and she

said where's the change and I said no

change okay so next week I asked again

and she said how much and I said

whatever she says last time I gave you a

hundred this time I give you fifty now

bring back the change

Sunday evening she says is there any

changes there's no change the following

week so he gave me 20 and then no change

so my mother said I better give you

nothing because I give you ten or

hundred you spend it all like that's a

gift but but I when I had a hundred I

would treat my friends and if I had ten

my friends would treat me so that that's

the deal right but I you don't want to

make me the treasurer of the Sangha the

shopper was borderline already but I

also have good habits

I have good habits I wonder what are my

flowers I recently cultivated a habit

which I find is very sweet and helpful

here in the monks residence we have a

bathroom for them for the brothers and

we have slippers so when you go into the

bathroom they are waiting slippers and

you do what you have to do and when you

go out you leave them and leave the

bathroom so what I'm doing in the last

time I'm walking backwards out of the

bathroom like a scuba diver so that the

slippers would be in the right direction

if the next brother comes he sees the

slippers and he just slips in and

continues to go and and does whatever he

wants to do when he steps out like going

against the direction but the other day

I saw Fabio a we the two of us were in

the bathroom and he exited earlier I

came actually I was outside wanted to

enter the bathroom and he just exited

and turned around like a scuba diver and

went out and we looked at each other and

he gave me a big smile and it warned my

heart so much and I thought wow this is

so lovely I'm doing it to make the life

of the brother behind me a little bit

more beautiful and it was infecting

brother Hawaiian and sometimes I forget

sometimes the brothers do it sometimes

not and it doesn't matter it just gives

me joy when I step out of the bathroom

like a scuba diver opening the way for

the brother just to make his life a

little bit easier so this is what I

found

concerning habit energies doing a little

bit research within and without but I

think the most important thing is to to

look and to see if and how our habit

energies are contributing to our

well-being or

if they give us choice not like being on

the walkway or on the horse the Freedom

and choice or even joy like the slipper

thing really gives me joy and peace and

if not how to break a bad habit

maybe we can enjoy one sound of the Bell

now

[Music]

how to break bad habits YouTube is full

of it 10 best tips to break bad habits

slaughter your dragon fight your enemy

and I thought I'm in an action movie and

I thought that movies mirror life but it

seems like life mirrors movies in the

meantime and we build our literacy

around action movies so why should we

break habits now looking at what we have

discovered so far we can just like

change the course of the ancestral

stream for example divert it or we can

stop the horse or tame the tiger we

don't need to kill the tiger or the

horse slaughter or break it it's really

not needed and when I say tame taming

the tiger

I remember the book the little prince do

you know the book the little prince if

you don't know it you got to read it

it's a must read it's a very sweet

poetic manual for life and people you

meet in your life very beautiful so in

that book the little prince meets the

Fox and he wants to become the friends

the fox's friend but the Fox says if you

want to be my friend you need to tame me

you need to tame me and the little

prince doesn't know and ask how do I

tame you and he says you have to come

every day to the same place here at the

same time every day a little bit closer

so I get used to you I become accustomed

to you and then one day when this

happens a lot

learning receiving training studying

practicing

after repetition then we are friends and

the Fox also says one only understands

what one tames and that's also very

eye-opening like if we want to

understand something we need to tame it

and taming meaning coming closer to it

becoming accustomed to it learning about

it let's say becoming intimate close

which is a complete different approach

than breaking or slaughtering it's much

more gentle and I wonder how ty

approaches habit energies what would I

say

when habit energies arise and I found it

this is what I says to his habit

energies we know this is so typical time

dear habit I see you I see you I'm here

with you I'm here for you I'm your

friend we can tame each other I can tame

you you can tame me we become close I

see you there's this energy of

mindfulness in Thai in a magazine they

called him the father of mindfulness

it's like the mother and he's the father

of mindfulness he brings in and shines

the light of mindfulness concentration

and insight on that habit energy

recognizing it and dealing in it with it

very gently and kindly knowing that

these habit energies these strong

emotions or strong energies are nothing

outside of us which we can just kill and

then they are dead or we can cut them

off but no they're inside of us and we

have to attain them we have to transform

them accept them

and be with them in the right here and

right now

dear habit energy I see you so time when

he's speaking about transforming habit

energies changing the chorus or strong

emotions he always uses the image of a

mother taking care of her baby again the

mother comes today and why does he do

that taking the example of the mother

and her baby because that relationship

of the mother and her baby implies so

much implies the unconditional love

from the mother for her baby there is

not much thinking this unconditional

love there is compassion

there is this care of a mother for her

baby which in best case if we want to

cultivate helpful awake mindful habits

how to treat ourselves and how to be

with ourselves is the way to go

to go with compassion towards ourselves

let me erase this quickly and then we

will go through the process of the

mother taking care of her child

continuous drop cleans the Board

continues wipes make it shine you see

how resistant habit energies can be like

like hear these words you really have to

put yeah energy in it it's not like I

just wish them to be away and they are

away no I have to take care of them love

and scrub them here a little bit left

and right it's good enough thank you my

dear

I see you so ty uses the example of a

mother taking care of a baby mother and

let's say the mother is somewhere in the

house and the baby is somewhere else in

the house and it starts crying so the

mother being on another place here's the

baby crying and recognizes the suffering

hearing suffering recognizes the crying

of the baby hearing that it needs

attention so that's always our first

step right recognizing then we have more

space here I need a bit more space

mother

recognizing

recognizing so what the mother does is I

hear you I see you and I will be here

for you the mother will probably put

down whatever she was doing right now

and go to the other room and hold the

baby so the thing is hearing crying baby

recognizing the suffering putting down

what I'm doing going to the suffering

and I come to the room where the baby is

crying and the mother would immediately

take the baby in her arms and take care

of it saying my dear baby but would not

look right away as the first thing why

does the baby cries it like to bride is

it too dark is it took hold is the music

of the neighbors too loud that all has

time the most important thing is now the

suffering of the baby I want to be here

for the baby and she holds it and she

rocks it and maybe she hums a song mmm

it's it's fine it's gonna be fine baby

I'm here I'm here for you I see you so

that's embracing the baby embracing the

pain embracing our strong energy our

habit energy to be there with it may it

be difficult

may it be painful may be loud when a

baby cries and doesn't stop it can be

nerve killing like if it doesn't stop

for half an hour you might be good

rocking it for 5 minutes hoping that it

will fall asleep again but it does not

I'm really embracing it so the mother

would hold the baby

hold the baby and while the mother is

rocking the baby is there and taking

care of it and you see this tender image

of the mother and that's exactly what we

need to do with our habits with our

strong emotions with feelings when they

come up and they are not pleasant they

are painful that's exactly what we can

do being there and it is painful it is

loud but I'm gonna do it and while

mother is doing that she's looking

deeply and she says why is baby crying

and then she starts investigating around

seeing is it too bright here in the room

is it too dark was baby just alone or

maybe it is hungry are the diaper is

full and it's invested it's

investigating so looking deeply looking

deeply this marker is slowly not looking

deeply anymore okay that's better

and she's investigating investigating

baby suffering

babies suffering

and just as I investigated what is the

reason for these words not being so so

bold I got an insight

I got an insight that I'm may change the

marker and it will be better so the

mother gets an insight to investigating

also holding the baby in her arm

rocking it humming to it and then

looking deeply what could it be what

what is it what it is what baby needs

what it is what I am needing right now

you're automatically investigating

things within and without again and

you're checking the forehead as a

temperature giving it a little finger

and see if it sucks if it's hungry

you're tapping the the diapers and sure

enough looking deeply you will get an

insight you will get an insight of what

it is as a fruit of your investigation

there is insight

so the mother checking checking

different possibilities fields oh my god

yes the diapers are loaded right let's

write this down see it brings us joy

diapers loaded and with that insight the

mother sets herself free from the

suffering the mother has a choice you

know from all that stream here we are

looking deeply and now we have a choice

and that choice is our transformation

transformation and it's also liberating

liberating us from being caught in that

current in that stream of that emotion

of that suffering and what we do is in

this case we change the diapers and end

the baby suffering suffering

so from recognizing suffering happening

by hearing something feeling something

seeing something we go and take care of

it that's the first thing and the only

thing we want to do we don't want to

know why the house burned down there's

often we have this example of a burning

house when you come to you back to your

house and you see it in flames the first

thing you want to do is to find water

and and how do you say distinguish the

fire and not the first thing you want to

do is run around saying who put my house

on fire I want to see and talk to that

person what's happened here why is that

fire here you want to take action and

this is what the mother does and this is

what we shall do the first thing when we

experience suffering this being there

for the suffering for ourselves

rocking ourselves comforting us saying

I'm here I'm here for you I see you I

hear you we are here together and shine

as ty the light of mindfulness onto this

emotion Ty's inviting another seed to

that seed of of suffering he's inviting

the seed of mindfulness of compassion of

presence so that seed of sadness is not

alone and they are a Sangha they become

a Sangha and our sadness cannot be that

strong because the mindfulness is there

I am here my awareness is there and by

doing so we're then we then we have time

to let it sink in and see what is

happening here why is that happening and

we look deeply into our actions into our

thinking into the environment and we

become an insight and see yeah sure

because I did that I find myself here

now and then I am free then I'm free to

act and liberate myself from that stream

now how does that look like with habit

energies the topic we are here for how

do we translate it into habit let's take

my example of the food to have a

concrete example so let's say it's my

cooking day and I'm making spaghetti I'm

making great spaghetti and I'm carrying

spaghetti from the cabinet to the

counter and something feels wrong

I have a sense something is wrong like

the mother hearing something but I hear

it internally and then I think there's a

lot of spaghetti here in my hand so I

see I see something I see my suffering I

see let's say a lot of spaghetti a lot

spaghetti

well this markers they are definitely

not my family

is that going to not a nice dream oh

this one is good spaghetti a lot so now

I hear something within I feel a concern

something doesn't feel it's odd so I go

to the counter put them down and I start

I start stopping I start being there for

myself I'm not continuing and opening

all those packages something is odd and

I want to be with it so what I'm doing

is I will stop and start breathing start

breathing and being there for myself and

looking inside of me what is happening

rocking my baby and by rocking my baby I

also have the chance to look more deeply

and see what is it why is it so so much

spaghetti here in front of me

and then I might investigate and see

yesterday the brothers ate really a lot

so maybe this is why I'm intuitively

taking out more or I investigate is

there a lot of leftover from yesterday

or is there no leftover and I think I

have to make more or is it at the end

for coming from inside of me and it is

my my ancestral habit energy to always

cook too much ping and the same as for

the mother at one point it resonates

with you and you know what it is to get

an insight so looking deeply is

investigating - investigating of the

causes and the inside is my ancestral

habits the diapers are loaded I got them

so with this insight this insight is my

choice and now I have the choice to take

two or three packs of spaghetti back to

the cabinet or I can still cook them all

but I have a choice I'm not caught in

that stream in that current that pushes

me and gives me no choice so now I would

just say choice because now it's up to

me I can transform it at least I have

the power to do so and tie using

mindfulness concentration and insight

applied to this uses mindfulness to

recognize and embrace a suffering to be

there to be able to stop and be with it

now we say where there's mindfulness of

something

there's concentration because when I'm

mindful of my baby my mind concentrates

on that baby and not why it

Christ but my mind is concentrated on

the suffering of the baby so it already

starts here and goes into licking

looking deeply here we go

concentration and when you have

mindfulness and concentration you're

mindful of something you generate

presence and awareness your mind is

focus on that one thing you're able to

look deeply and to see the root of your

suffering

so there's inside arising and from that

insight you have the choice to liberate

yourself to be transformed so from

looking deeply we have the inside that

helps us to set us free and that's the

power of mindfulness that we don't have

to wait for anyone to save us from who

we are and by that the walkway and this

moving walkway becomes more a freeway

with this with the help of mindfulness

concentration and insight and a freeway

with many exits right we are on that

stream with other cars and as many exits

so each time an insight occurs an exit

occurs imagine you're on that moving

walkway and you have an insight and

there would a door appear at that move

and you could get out and get your

coffee or your newspapers or go to the

restaurant so each time we have an

insight we have an exit we have the

chance to get out of that cycle of that

stream that is carrying us somewhere

where we don't have a choice where we

maybe don't want to even be so to

conclude I want to summarize what we

have gathered here today so first habit

energies

habit energies can be strong our stream

don't give us choice but are not

necessarily bad secondly there's nothing

to kill or to cut off but rather to

divert or stop or tame transform or

liberate it's much more gentle and much

more resonating and so third we need to

learn how to be gentle and kind to

ourselves in this very moment and

cultivating mindfulness concentration

and insight to create exits to liberate

us and to set us free

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you