Abduction As Romance

[[Content warning for movies scenes containing domestic abuse]]

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Abduction as Romance is a media trope where a man kidnaps or imprisons a woman and she eventually falls in love with him. Abduction as Romance is one of a series of popular media tropes where violence against women and abusive male behavior is presented as necessary, exciting, or romantic.

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TEXT TRANSCRIPT
http://popculturedetective.agency/2018/1980s-movies-that-shaped-our-humanity

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CREDITS
Writer/Producer: Jonathan McIntosh
Motion Graphics: Jonathan McIntosh
Logo Design: Justin McIntosh
Outro music: Jonathan Mann
https://www.patreon.com/jonathanmann

The 2016 film Passengers was advertised as a high concept science fiction blockbuster

about a romance in space.

Based on that, I was excited to see it.

Unfortunately, the central premise doesn't make for a very good love story.

In fact, it has much more in common with a horror film

Jim is a passenger aboard a starship making the long journey to another planet,

when a malfunction wakes him from hibernation too early

JIM: Where are we?

-We're in transit from Earth to Homestead II. We will arrive in approximately 90 years.

JIM: What?

It seems he's destined to live and die alone on the ship before anyone else wakes up

Trapped by his circumstances Jim starts obsessing over another sleeping passenger named Aurora

Intent on pursuing a romantic relationship

Jim sabotages her hibernation pod and makes it look like an accident

From Aurora's perspective, this is a story about a strange man who imprisons her alone with him in space forever

This stranger robs her of her life, her future

and her self-determination

JIM: Can I talk to you?

And yet because this movie is supposed to be a love story

Audiences are meant to feel sympathetic to Jim and root for the relationship to work out

The film's science fiction setting tends to obscure the fact that Passengers is an example of a very old and

deeply troubling media convention

Abduction as romance

Abduction as romance is a media trope where a man kidnaps or imprisons a woman

and then she eventually falls in love with him

Like a lot of storytelling conventions, abduction as a romance isn't new

It can be traced all the way back to ancient literature and it was a favorite plot device in classic Hollywood.

PATRICIA: Help! Get the police!

PATRICIA: Help!

WOMAN: My! They must be terribly in love.

JAMIE: I warn you don't make me angry

MARGARET: I always knew you were a nasty vulgar rogue!

In some versions of the trope men abduct women for the purpose of finding love

JAMIE: You make courtship a little more strenuous than I like it

But in most cases the woman is kidnapped for some other reason and the romance only blossoms

After she's forced to spend time with her abductor

JOE: If you try and move

JOE: Or climb off the bed

JOE: I'll know it, I'll feel it

JOE: And I promise you I'll hurt you

The kidnapping or hostage situation itself may be short-lived

and their romance may not have a happy ending

but the abductor is always framed as a decent guy in the end.

JACK: I can be a pretty likable guy when I'm not putting a gun at somebody

JACK: I know don't believe me, but it's true. You gotta trust me

The plot device is especially popular with screenwriters

JENNY: Go ahead

Because kidnapping scenarios provide a quick and easy way to bring two unlikely characters together

TRISTAN: May I just say in advance that I am sorry

YVAINE: Sorry for what?

You know, if I'm not mistaken, this means you have to come with me.

But make no mistake,

this are narratives in which men who violate women's rights and autonomy are then rewarded with a romantic relationship.

VIRGIL: There are some gals who don't like to be pushed and grabbed

VIRGIL: and lassoed and drug into buses in the middle of the night.

Abduction as romance can be found in all kinds of media

BEAU: How else was I gonna get her on the bus?

Including romance films and comedies

BEAU: Well, I'm asking you?

PAMELA: I can't believe this is happening to me.

PAMELA: This is not a joke anymore. I'm being kidnapped

JJ: Well call it kidnapping if you want to be rude.

And even in classic musicals like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

ADAM: ♫ But that ain't all!

ADAM: ♫ Oh, they acted angry and annoyed

GIDEON: ♫ But secretly they was overjoyed.

ADAM: ♫ You might recall that when corralin' your steers

ALL: ♫ Oh oh oh, them poor little dears.

But it's especially popular in action-adventure genres

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis star in three separate movies each

where they have romantic relationships with the women they've kidnapped

We see this with Schwarzenegger characters in the Running Man

BEN: Now, remember I can break your neck like a chicken's.

JOHN: Don't move!

And then again in Commando

JOHN: Get in the car.

and then again to his own wife in True Lies

Bruce Willis's characters hold their love interests hostage in Bandits,

in the critically acclaimed film 12 monkeys

FRANK: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

And then more recently in Red

FRANK: Your eyes are so beautiful.

Audiences are meant to view the danger that these men pose has an essential part of what makes them exciting and attractive

These are men of action they take control and take what they want

ROY: Get in the car. Please.

JUNE: No.

ROY: Watch your head.

With violence if necessary.

You'll notice that with very few exceptions. These kidnappers are white men.

JACK: Come here!

JACK: Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it!

Mainstream Western audiences tend to give violent white guys the benefit of the doubt.

JACK: Keep your hands high, both of you !

While rarely extending that same level of sympathy to men of color in similar situations

JACK: Okay, now everybody

JACK: On the floor!

NATALIE: Don't kill me!

NATALIE: I don't wanna die!

Like most media tropes there are variations on the theme

There's the accidental kidnapping that later becomes a real one

VINCENT: Keep your head on your legs...

VINCENT: all the time, understand?

There's the clueless criminal who doesn't know what he's doing

CELINE: You're the worst kidnapper I've ever met

ROBERT: Well, I'm trying to do my best here under really difficult circumstances!

And then there's the hit man who falls for his mark

But the underlying pattern in all of these abduction as romance narratives revolves around men

exercising complete control over women.

KATHY: You bully!

Kathy: Don't tie me up, come on!

Kathy: Please!

A theme that's reinforced by the inclusion of scenes where a man

forcibly puts an otherwise independent woman in her place.

DARDO: Under a long time ago, my lady...

DARDO: ...never trust a mountain cat when she stops snarling

DARDO: And never trust a woman when your back is turned.

Indeed the abducted women are rarely portrayed as passive damsels

EDWINA: Are you taking me for a ride?

GUY: Now listen, you're not gonna move and you're gonna keep your trap shut or I'll let you have it.

EDWINA: I'm not afraid of you, you cheap bully

EDWINA: I always thought criminals were gallant but you've got a stupid degenerate face.

Even though these women are written to be feisty

They're often framed as being a little too feisty for their own good

JACK: You might just be a little too feisty for your own good.

which provides our kidnapper the opportunity to assert his power and control

BEN: Don't make a sound, you understand?

by aggressively silencing her

Audiences are treated to scene after scene

fetishizing the domination and disempowerment of women

If she tries to turn the tables on her abductor

He remains unfazed and her attempts to intimidate him don't work

In some cases when he reassert his control by disarming her it's framed as an act of seduction

Now kidnapping and false imprisonment are almost universally understood to be reprehensible crimes

and because of that, abduction is widely regarded as an act of villainy.

And definitely not something the good guy would do

This means that screenwriters need to find some way to make the kidnapper into a sympathetic character.

MELVIN: Are you okay?

One way this is done is by giving the abductor a moment of basic human decency

It can be as simple as offering his hostage something to eat or drink

FRANK: Drink

Or maybe allowing her to go to the bathroom

KEIKO: Hey!

KEIKO: I need a little help.

Or not sexually assaulting her

JACK: Let me tell you somethin'

JACK: Even though I've been celibate lately, I'm not going to force myself on you.

JACK: I've never done that in my life.

ROBERT: Look, I'm not nervous

CELINE: okay, then calm down

ROBERT: I'm perfectly calm, I'm just trying to explain to you that there's no sexual motives for my actions.

That's an impressively low bar for men when it comes to being seen as a nice guy

KEIKO: Look, you seem like a nice guy. You're not like the others. You have to do what's right for you.

Another way the abductor is reframed as heroic is by juxtaposing his violence

Against the actions of even more violent men

JUNE: Are they bad guys?

ROY: Worse guys.

JUNE: Worse guys?

Writers also attempt to justify the kidnapping itself by framing it as necessary

JAMES: No, no, no! Come with me!

Either as something done for the greater good like saving the world

Or as something done for the victim's own good, usually saving her life in some way.

JULIE: Just let me go.

R: N-N-N-Not Safe.

JULIE: Not safe?

That variation is so common that there's a whole subcategory of movies in which a heroic rescue

doubles as a kidnapping

To illustrate how these rescues slash kidnapping scenarios work

Let's analyze the brief abduction from the original 1984 Terminator movie

Kyle Reese travels back in time and saved Sarah Connor from the Terminator

But during the getaway, he makes it aggressively clear that his help is not optional

KYLE: Do exactly what I say!

KYLE: Exactly!

KYLE: Don't move unless I say.

KYLE: Don't make a sound unless I say.

KYLE: Do you understand?

KYLE: DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!

SARAH: Yes! Please, don't hurt me!

Notice that in stories like this, the man typically holds all the cards

He alone understands the true danger that she's in and he alone knows how to survive

SARAH: Then you're from the future too, is that right?

KYLE: Right.

The insidious thing about scenes like this one is that they're written to twist a man's abusive behavior

into a heroic act of love

SARAH: Just let me go.

KYLE: Listen and understand!

KYLE: That terminator is out there.

KYLE: And it absolutely will not stop

KYLE: EVER!

KYLE: Until you are dead!

The narrative is specifically designed so that we as the audience

will view Kyle's aggression toward Sarah as both reasonable and necessary

SARAH: Can you stop it?

The storytelling trick here is to set up an elaborate scenario in which a woman's perfectly reasonable and rational

resistance to male violence

Seems like a naive mistake

And that framing is not accidental

It's a specific kind of male fantasy where a man taking away a woman's freedom and fundamental rights

is presented as something done for her own good

Which results in situations where she becomes dependent on her abductor for survival.

ROY: Just so you understand

ROY: Right now, out there on your own, your life expectancy is like here.

ROY: With me, it's here. Without me here. With me, without me; with me, without.

One of the worst examples of this abduction for her own good framing can be found in the movie version of V for Vendetta

MAN: Gotcha!

EVEY: No no!

Our hero kidnaps Evey

Makes her believe that she's been caught by the fascist government and proceeds to torture her mercilessly

MAN: It ends whenever he wants it to, just tell us where he is

EVEY: I don't know!

These abhorrent actions are framed as necessary because it's only through being tortured for days on end

That Evey learns how to be strong

Not only does she forgive him for torturing her she thanks him for it and

Then the two go on to share a series of romantic moments

JAMIE: I always sample a bottle of wine before I buy it

JAMIE: Let's have a sip, see if you're worth taking along?

Let's not mince words here

Abduction as romance is an abuse trope

All of the male characters that we've been discussing engage in

what domestic violence prevention organizations described as red flag behaviors

KATHRYN: Stop it!

So I think it's instructive to quickly go over a few of them in detail

Abusers will resort to the use of force strain complex. This can include restraining or holding down their partner

These actions are often accompanied by demands that the victim stay quiet.

BILLY: Shut your mouth! Shut your mouth! Shut your mouth!

Abusers will threaten their partners with violence as a means of coercion

MILES: Shut up or I'm gonna take this rock and bring it down on your head so hard...

MILES: ...that a substance resembling guacamole is gonna come out of your ears!

Abusers will attempt to control or restrict their partner's movements and to make decisions for them.

47: Let's go.
NIKA: What?

47: Now!

This is usually done under the guise of protection.

And finally the one that's most central to the abduction as romance trope

Abusers will try to isolate the victim from friends, family or even the outside world

This often includes restricting the use of communication devices

Each of these actions is considered a red flag for an abusive relationship

and most of the male characters in abduction as romance movies check off several of these boxes.

JIM: Yes I woke you up.

AURORA: (gasps)

Even the less explicitly violent abductors, like Jim from Passengers, still isolate and control their victims

AURORA: I'm gonna be sick

Regardless of the intentions of the writers, these narratives end up both excusing

and romanticizing the violent behavior of abusive men

No discussion of abduction as romance would be complete without mention of Beauty and the Beast

especially the two enormously popular Disney movies

Both of which include a version of this trope

The Beast holds the life of Belle's father in his hands

and in order to save him

BELLE: You have my word.
BEAST: Done!

Belle trades away her own freedom and agrees to be imprisoned forever in the Beast's castle

BELLE: Papa!

Now pop criticism of Beauty and the Beast often focuses on something called Stockholm Syndrome which is a psychological phenomenon

wherein a kidnapping victim comes to sympathize with their kidnapper

However, it's not part of how I'm defining the abduction is romance trope.

and that's because a focus on Stockholm Syndrome

tends to shift the blame away from the perpetrator

and onto the victim. Which then works to undermine the female character, by implying she's been brainwashed

As I mentioned before many of the abducted or imprisoned women in these movies are actually shown to be quite brave

especially given their perilous situations

Many of them try to escape and some succeed

But regardless the victim and her motivations are not the problem with this trope

The problem stems entirely from the abductor and his actions

After all, it's the Beast who imprisons Belle,

isolates her, verbally berate her

BEAST: I TOLD YOU TO JOIN ME FOR DINNER

And even forbids her from eating at all!

BEAST: If she doesn't eat with me, then she doesn't eat at all!

BELLE: I didn't mean any harm-

BEAST: DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE?!

BELLE: Stop.

Despite all of this abusive behavior, the Beast is still framed as a misunderstood nice guy and he still gets the girl in the end

Stories like this carry with them some insidious messages about men and masculinity

Chief among them is the idea that abusive men just need to meet the right woman

Someone so special that the promise of her love will magically cure him of his violent ways

and make him a better person

Now it is possible to read these stories as being about the forgiveness and redemption of troubled men

Which in some ways they are

Unfortunately, these redemption arcs play out in ways that end up reinforcing some very pernicious myths about domestic abuse

Abusive men don't suddenly change overnight, especially not after a lifetime of being a dick

Men with a history of violent behavior don't spare their loved ones.

On the contrary

Domestic violence statistics show that intimate partners and family members bear the brunt of their attacks

In the movies, we're usually expected to assume that these abduction romances will end happily ever after

But in the real world

Love affairs like this would likely lead to abusive relationships

This is because the strongest predictor of domestic violence is previous acts of abuse

In fact, men with the history of committing violence against women

are 13 times more likely to repeat that behavior in the future

Psychologists refer to these patterns of repeat behavior as the cycle of abuse

Once an abusive episode stops, it's often followed by a honeymoon phase where the abuser will show remorse,

promise not to do it again and then act in kind, even loving ways

For a while at least.

But inevitably, that will be followed by a tension building phase which then culminates in another abusive episode

TEMUJIN: I shall keep you, Bortai

TEMUJIN: I shall keep you, and responding to my passion, your hatred will kindle into love.

BORTAI: Before that day dawns mongrel, the vultures will have feasted on your heart.

And the cycle continues

The first step in breaking this cycle is often for the survivor to get away from the abuser

Now it is possible for violent men to change their pattern of behavior. Although it's an extremely difficult process

requiring years of therapy

But that's rarely how it happens in Hollywood

In the movies we've been talking about

abusive men are miraculously transformed by finding true love and

They gain forgiveness for their crimes through a single act of heroism

This means they're never really held accountable for the harm. They've inflicted on others

Real redemption requires taking responsibility for your actions

It requires doing the slow, often painful work, of self transformation

The bottom line is: it's not possible to fix violent men by loving them in exactly the right way

But that's the idea at the heart of the abduction as romance trope

It's the kind of twisted Hollywood logic that can lead people of all genders to remain in abusive relationships

The abduction as romance trope needs to be retired

On-screen relationships can bloom from any number of dramatic or exciting scenarios

There really is no reason for writers to continue romanticizing abusive male behavior

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