0:00:06.080,0:00:11.880 The 2016 film Passengers was advertised as a high concept science fiction blockbuster 0:00:12.540,0:00:14.540 about a romance in space. 0:00:15.869,0:00:18.049 Based on that, I was excited to see it. 0:00:23.520,0:00:27.229 Unfortunately, the central premise doesn't make for a very good love story. 0:00:27.300,0:00:31.840 In fact, it has much more in common with a horror film 0:00:34.080,0:00:39.020 Jim is a passenger aboard a starship making the long journey to another planet, 0:00:39.020,0:00:43.500 when a malfunction wakes him from hibernation too early 0:00:43.500,0:00:44.100 JIM: Where are we? 0:00:44.220,0:00:50.000 -We're in transit from Earth to Homestead II. We will arrive in approximately 90 years. 0:00:50.120,0:00:50.900 JIM: What? 0:00:51.020,0:00:56.880 It seems he's destined to live and die alone on the ship before anyone else wakes up 0:00:57.930,0:01:04.040 Trapped by his circumstances Jim starts obsessing over another sleeping passenger named Aurora 0:01:05.729,0:01:07.758 Intent on pursuing a romantic relationship 0:01:10.350,0:01:14.419 Jim sabotages her hibernation pod and makes it look like an accident 0:01:16.770,0:01:24.170 From Aurora's perspective, this is a story about a strange man who imprisons her alone with him in space forever 0:01:24.980,0:01:28.920 This stranger robs her of her life, her future 0:01:29.100,0:01:31.100 and her self-determination 0:01:31.100,0:01:33.100 JIM: Can I talk to you? 0:01:34.780,0:01:38.460 And yet because this movie is supposed to be a love story 0:01:38.899,0:01:43.629 Audiences are meant to feel sympathetic to Jim and root for the relationship to work out 0:01:47.090,0:01:54.250 The film's science fiction setting tends to obscure the fact that Passengers is an example of a very old and 0:01:54.500,0:01:56.500 deeply troubling media convention 0:01:57.800,0:01:59.800 Abduction as romance 0:02:04.160,0:02:08.740 Abduction as romance is a media trope where a man kidnaps or imprisons a woman 0:02:08.740,0:02:11.020 and then she eventually falls in love with him 0:02:12.110,0:02:16.329 Like a lot of storytelling conventions, abduction as a romance isn't new 0:02:16.700,0:02:22.880 It can be traced all the way back to ancient literature and it was a favorite plot device in classic Hollywood. 0:02:22.880,0:02:25.640 PATRICIA: Help! Get the police! 0:02:25.640,0:02:27.640 PATRICIA: Help! 0:02:29.760,0:02:31.813 WOMAN: My! They must be terribly in love. 0:02:31.820,0:02:33.720 JAMIE: I warn you don't make me angry 0:02:33.720,0:02:36.280 MARGARET: I always knew you were a nasty vulgar rogue! 0:02:37.389,0:02:42.059 In some versions of the trope men abduct women for the purpose of finding love 0:02:42.060,0:02:46.600 JAMIE: You make courtship a little more strenuous than I like it 0:02:46.600,0:02:52.560 But in most cases the woman is kidnapped for some other reason and the romance only blossoms 0:02:52.980,0:02:55.640 After she's forced to spend time with her abductor 0:02:55.720,0:02:57.640 JOE: If you try and move 0:02:57.640,0:02:59.640 JOE: Or climb off the bed 0:03:00.160,0:03:01.640 JOE: I'll know it, I'll feel it 0:03:02.840,0:03:04.440 JOE: And I promise you I'll hurt you 0:03:05.220,0:03:09.100 The kidnapping or hostage situation itself may be short-lived 0:03:10.389,0:03:13.588 and their romance may not have a happy ending 0:03:13.588,0:03:17.980 but the abductor is always framed as a decent guy in the end. 0:03:17.980,0:03:21.299 JACK: I can be a pretty likable guy when I'm not putting a gun at somebody 0:03:21.299,0:03:24.179 JACK: I know don't believe me, but it's true. You gotta trust me 0:03:26.520,0:03:29.560 The plot device is especially popular with screenwriters 0:03:29.580,0:03:30.250 JENNY: Go ahead 0:03:30.250,0:03:36.500 Because kidnapping scenarios provide a quick and easy way to bring two unlikely characters together 0:03:39.879,0:03:42.179 TRISTAN: May I just say in advance that I am sorry 0:03:43.180,0:03:45.180 YVAINE: Sorry for what? 0:03:45.189,0:03:48.547 You know, if I'm not mistaken, this means you have to come with me. 0:03:48.547,0:03:49.499 But make no mistake, 0:03:49.660,0:03:56.260 this are narratives in which men who violate women's rights and autonomy are then rewarded with a romantic relationship. 0:03:57.440,0:04:02.060 VIRGIL: There are some gals who don't like to be pushed and grabbed 0:04:02.060,0:04:06.260 VIRGIL: and lassoed and drug into buses in the middle of the night. 0:04:06.360,0:04:10.180 Abduction as romance can be found in all kinds of media 0:04:10.180,0:04:12.260 BEAU: How else was I gonna get her on the bus? 0:04:12.340,0:04:14.820 Including romance films and comedies 0:04:14.820,0:04:16.680 BEAU: Well, I'm asking you? 0:04:16.680,0:04:18.440 PAMELA: I can't believe this is happening to me. 0:04:18.440,0:04:20.538 PAMELA: This is not a joke anymore. I'm being kidnapped 0:04:20.579,0:04:23.380 JJ: Well call it kidnapping if you want to be rude. 0:04:23.380,0:04:26.300 And even in classic musicals like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 0:04:26.300,0:04:27.660 ADAM: ♫ But that ain't all! 0:04:27.680,0:04:30.840 ADAM: ♫ Oh, they acted angry and annoyed 0:04:30.840,0:04:33.160 GIDEON: ♫ But secretly they was overjoyed. 0:04:33.160,0:04:37.240 ADAM: ♫ You might recall that when corralin' your steers 0:04:37.800,0:04:39.900 ALL: ♫ Oh oh oh, them poor little dears. 0:04:39.960,0:04:43.280 But it's especially popular in action-adventure genres 0:04:45.330,0:04:49.237 Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis star in three separate movies each 0:04:49.240,0:04:53.100 where they have romantic relationships with the women they've kidnapped 0:04:55.100,0:04:58.280 We see this with Schwarzenegger characters in the Running Man 0:04:58.280,0:05:01.340 BEN: Now, remember I can break your neck like a chicken's. 0:05:01.860,0:05:02.640 JOHN: Don't move! 0:05:02.640,0:05:04.280 And then again in Commando 0:05:04.280,0:05:05.920 JOHN: Get in the car. 0:05:05.920,0:05:08.600 and then again to his own wife in True Lies 0:05:10.319,0:05:15.200 Bruce Willis's characters hold their love interests hostage in Bandits, 0:05:15.200,0:05:17.688 in the critically acclaimed film 12 monkeys 0:05:17.688,0:05:18.750 FRANK: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 0:05:18.750,0:05:20.800 And then more recently in Red 0:05:21.000,0:05:23.260 FRANK: Your eyes are so beautiful. 0:05:25.380,0:05:31.920 Audiences are meant to view the danger that these men pose has an essential part of what makes them exciting and attractive 0:05:34.480,0:05:39.100 These are men of action they take control and take what they want 0:05:39.580,0:05:40.540 ROY: Get in the car. Please. 0:05:40.720,0:05:41.620 JUNE: No. 0:05:41.700,0:05:42.660 ROY: Watch your head. 0:05:42.760,0:05:44.720 With violence if necessary. 0:05:46.120,0:05:51.120 You'll notice that with very few exceptions. These kidnappers are white men. 0:05:52.780,0:05:53.960 JACK: Come here! 0:05:54.080,0:05:55.960 JACK: Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it! 0:05:57.660,0:06:02.600 Mainstream Western audiences tend to give violent white guys the benefit of the doubt. 0:06:02.600,0:06:03.980 JACK: Keep your hands high, both of you ! 0:06:03.980,0:06:09.740 While rarely extending that same level of sympathy to men of color in similar situations 0:06:10.280,0:06:11.240 JACK: Okay, now everybody 0:06:12.520,0:06:13.700 JACK: On the floor! 0:06:13.980,0:06:15.020 NATALIE: Don't kill me! 0:06:15.220,0:06:16.600 NATALIE: I don't wanna die! 0:06:17.160,0:06:20.540 Like most media tropes there are variations on the theme 0:06:21.640,0:06:25.260 There's the accidental kidnapping that later becomes a real one 0:06:25.300,0:06:26.960 VINCENT: Keep your head on your legs... 0:06:26.960,0:06:29.040 VINCENT: all the time, understand? 0:06:29.320,0:06:32.500 There's the clueless criminal who doesn't know what he's doing 0:06:33.000,0:06:35.040 CELINE: You're the worst kidnapper I've ever met 0:06:35.040,0:06:37.400 ROBERT: Well, I'm trying to do my best here under really difficult circumstances! 0:06:38.080,0:06:41.500 And then there's the hit man who falls for his mark 0:06:43.920,0:06:50.200 But the underlying pattern in all of these abduction as romance narratives revolves around men 0:06:50.440,0:06:53.080 exercising complete control over women. 0:06:53.180,0:06:54.380 KATHY: You bully! 0:06:55.560,0:06:56.680 Kathy: Don't tie me up, come on! 0:06:56.880,0:06:57.380 Kathy: Please! 0:06:58.000,0:07:02.020 A theme that's reinforced by the inclusion of scenes where a man 0:07:02.280,0:07:06.400 forcibly puts an otherwise independent woman in her place. 0:07:06.520,0:07:08.300 DARDO: Under a long time ago, my lady... 0:07:08.300,0:07:11.360 DARDO: ...never trust a mountain cat when she stops snarling 0:07:12.140,0:07:14.060 DARDO: And never trust a woman when your back is turned. 0:07:14.440,0:07:19.080 Indeed the abducted women are rarely portrayed as passive damsels 0:07:19.900,0:07:21.620 EDWINA: Are you taking me for a ride? 0:07:21.620,0:07:25.000 GUY: Now listen, you're not gonna move and you're gonna keep your trap shut or I'll let you have it. 0:07:25.000,0:07:27.100 EDWINA: I'm not afraid of you, you cheap bully 0:07:27.100,0:07:30.920 EDWINA: I always thought criminals were gallant but you've got a stupid degenerate face. 0:07:31.440,0:07:33.560 Even though these women are written to be feisty 0:07:36.160,0:07:39.880 They're often framed as being a little too feisty for their own good 0:07:40.880,0:07:43.180 JACK: You might just be a little too feisty for your own good. 0:07:43.660,0:07:47.760 which provides our kidnapper the opportunity to assert his power and control 0:07:48.140,0:07:49.040 BEN: Don't make a sound, you understand? 0:07:49.120,0:07:51.120 by aggressively silencing her 0:07:57.220,0:07:59.670 Audiences are treated to scene after scene 0:08:00.460,0:08:03.239 fetishizing the domination and disempowerment of women 0:08:04.210,0:08:07.229 If she tries to turn the tables on her abductor 0:08:07.330,0:08:12.840 He remains unfazed and her attempts to intimidate him don't work 0:08:13.930,0:08:20.759 In some cases when he reassert his control by disarming her it's framed as an act of seduction 0:08:23.230,0:08:29.999 Now kidnapping and false imprisonment are almost universally understood to be reprehensible crimes 0:08:30.970,0:08:35.280 and because of that, abduction is widely regarded as an act of villainy. 0:08:36.640,0:08:38.970 And definitely not something the good guy would do 0:08:41.220,0:08:47.780 This means that screenwriters need to find some way to make the kidnapper into a sympathetic character. 0:08:47.840,0:08:49.200 MELVIN: Are you okay? 0:08:51.200,0:08:55.740 One way this is done is by giving the abductor a moment of basic human decency 0:08:56.580,0:09:01.060 It can be as simple as offering his hostage something to eat or drink 0:09:01.060,0:09:01.560 FRANK: Drink 0:09:01.940,0:09:04.620 Or maybe allowing her to go to the bathroom 0:09:04.740,0:09:05.360 KEIKO: Hey! 0:09:06.440,0:09:07.760 KEIKO: I need a little help. 0:09:08.300,0:09:11.200 Or not sexually assaulting her 0:09:11.960,0:09:12.860 JACK: Let me tell you somethin' 0:09:12.860,0:09:15.940 JACK: Even though I've been celibate lately, I'm not going to force myself on you. 0:09:15.940,0:09:16.880 JACK: I've never done that in my life. 0:09:16.880,0:09:18.020 ROBERT: Look, I'm not nervous 0:09:18.020,0:09:19.160 CELINE: okay, then calm down 0:09:19.160,0:09:23.800 ROBERT: I'm perfectly calm, I'm just trying to explain to you that there's no sexual motives for my actions. 0:09:23.920,0:09:28.660 That's an impressively low bar for men when it comes to being seen as a nice guy 0:09:29.460,0:09:33.440 KEIKO: Look, you seem like a nice guy. You're not like the others. You have to do what's right for you. 0:09:34.820,0:09:40.300 Another way the abductor is reframed as heroic is by juxtaposing his violence 0:09:40.700,0:09:43.220 Against the actions of even more violent men 0:09:43.480,0:09:45.220 JUNE: Are they bad guys? 0:09:45.280,0:09:47.580 ROY: Worse guys. 0:09:48.760,0:09:50.000 JUNE: Worse guys? 0:09:51.280,0:09:56.040 Writers also attempt to justify the kidnapping itself by framing it as necessary 0:09:56.380,0:09:57.840 JAMES: No, no, no! Come with me! 0:09:57.940,0:10:01.800 Either as something done for the greater good like saving the world 0:10:02.450,0:10:07.180 Or as something done for the victim's own good, usually saving her life in some way. 0:10:07.180,0:10:08.620 JULIE: Just let me go. 0:10:10.720,0:10:12.220 R: N-N-N-Not Safe. 0:10:12.400,0:10:13.860 JULIE: Not safe? 0:10:13.860,0:10:19.040 That variation is so common that there's a whole subcategory of movies in which a heroic rescue 0:10:19.180,0:10:21.420 doubles as a kidnapping 0:10:21.860,0:10:25.990 To illustrate how these rescues slash kidnapping scenarios work 0:10:26.150,0:10:30.970 Let's analyze the brief abduction from the original 1984 Terminator movie 0:10:31.730,0:10:37.089 Kyle Reese travels back in time and saved Sarah Connor from the Terminator 0:10:40.340,0:10:45.280 But during the getaway, he makes it aggressively clear that his help is not optional 0:10:45.280,0:10:47.280 KYLE: Do exactly what I say! 0:10:47.280,0:10:48.500 KYLE: Exactly! 0:10:48.500,0:10:50.000 KYLE: Don't move unless I say. 0:10:50.160,0:10:52.480 KYLE: Don't make a sound unless I say. 0:10:52.480,0:10:54.480 KYLE: Do you understand? 0:10:54.480,0:10:56.480 KYLE: DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! 0:10:56.480,0:10:58.480 SARAH: Yes! Please, don't hurt me! 0:10:58.540,0:11:02.800 Notice that in stories like this, the man typically holds all the cards 0:11:03.470,0:11:09.700 He alone understands the true danger that she's in and he alone knows how to survive 0:11:11.500,0:11:13.660 SARAH: Then you're from the future too, is that right? 0:11:14.840,0:11:15.660 KYLE: Right. 0:11:15.820,0:11:21.700 The insidious thing about scenes like this one is that they're written to twist a man's abusive behavior 0:11:22.100,0:11:24.100 into a heroic act of love 0:11:24.780,0:11:25.880 SARAH: Just let me go. 0:11:25.880,0:11:27.880 KYLE: Listen and understand! 0:11:28.880,0:11:30.860 KYLE: That terminator is out there. 0:11:31.640,0:11:34.020 KYLE: And it absolutely will not stop 0:11:34.460,0:11:35.100 KYLE: EVER! 0:11:36.000,0:11:37.300 KYLE: Until you are dead! 0:11:37.360,0:11:40.900 The narrative is specifically designed so that we as the audience 0:11:41.510,0:11:46.690 will view Kyle's aggression toward Sarah as both reasonable and necessary 0:11:47.480,0:11:48.890 SARAH: Can you stop it? 0:11:48.890,0:11:56.140 The storytelling trick here is to set up an elaborate scenario in which a woman's perfectly reasonable and rational 0:11:56.570,0:11:58.520 resistance to male violence 0:11:58.520,0:12:00.520 Seems like a naive mistake 0:12:00.819,0:12:02.819 And that framing is not accidental 0:12:03.199,0:12:09.368 It's a specific kind of male fantasy where a man taking away a woman's freedom and fundamental rights 0:12:09.739,0:12:12.939 is presented as something done for her own good 0:12:13.900,0:12:19.500 Which results in situations where she becomes dependent on her abductor for survival. 0:12:19.500,0:12:20.580 ROY: Just so you understand 0:12:21.220,0:12:25.200 ROY: Right now, out there on your own, your life expectancy is like here. 0:12:25.200,0:12:30.640 ROY: With me, it's here. Without me here. With me, without me; with me, without. 0:12:32.780,0:12:40.320 One of the worst examples of this abduction for her own good framing can be found in the movie version of V for Vendetta 0:12:40.560,0:12:41.500 MAN: Gotcha! 0:12:41.500,0:12:43.500 EVEY: No no! 0:12:43.840,0:12:45.840 Our hero kidnaps Evey 0:12:46.540,0:12:52.400 Makes her believe that she's been caught by the fascist government and proceeds to torture her mercilessly 0:12:53.860,0:12:56.640 MAN: It ends whenever he wants it to, just tell us where he is 0:12:56.640,0:12:58.220 EVEY: I don't know! 0:12:59.720,0:13:06.900 These abhorrent actions are framed as necessary because it's only through being tortured for days on end 0:13:07.369,0:13:09.399 That Evey learns how to be strong 0:13:12.379,0:13:17.108 Not only does she forgive him for torturing her she thanks him for it and 0:13:17.629,0:13:20.829 Then the two go on to share a series of romantic moments 0:13:23.160,0:13:26.280 JAMIE: I always sample a bottle of wine before I buy it 0:13:27.060,0:13:30.220 JAMIE: Let's have a sip, see if you're worth taking along? 0:13:30.440,0:13:32.120 Let's not mince words here 0:13:32.740,0:13:35.060 Abduction as romance is an abuse trope 0:13:36.320,0:13:39.496 All of the male characters that we've been discussing engage in 0:13:39.500,0:13:44.900 what domestic violence prevention organizations described as red flag behaviors 0:13:44.940,0:13:45.940 KATHRYN: Stop it! 0:13:48.040,0:13:51.500 So I think it's instructive to quickly go over a few of them in detail 0:13:57.250,0:14:03.659 Abusers will resort to the use of force strain complex. This can include restraining or holding down their partner 0:14:03.880,0:14:08.460 These actions are often accompanied by demands that the victim stay quiet. 0:14:08.900,0:14:11.660 BILLY: Shut your mouth! Shut your mouth! Shut your mouth! 0:14:14.320,0:14:19.040 Abusers will threaten their partners with violence as a means of coercion 0:14:19.120,0:14:22.520 MILES: Shut up or I'm gonna take this rock and bring it down on your head so hard... 0:14:22.680,0:14:26.000 MILES: ...that a substance resembling guacamole is gonna come out of your ears! 0:14:28.840,0:14:34.320 Abusers will attempt to control or restrict their partner's movements and to make decisions for them. 0:14:34.320,0:14:35.600 47: Let's go.[br]NIKA: What? 0:14:36.600,0:14:37.140 47: Now! 0:14:37.940,0:14:41.060 This is usually done under the guise of protection. 0:14:42.459,0:14:45.959 And finally the one that's most central to the abduction as romance trope 0:14:48.309,0:14:53.459 Abusers will try to isolate the victim from friends, family or even the outside world 0:14:53.620,0:14:56.789 This often includes restricting the use of communication devices 0:15:00.910,0:15:05.670 Each of these actions is considered a red flag for an abusive relationship 0:15:06.240,0:15:11.460 and most of the male characters in abduction as romance movies check off several of these boxes. 0:15:16.220,0:15:18.220 JIM: Yes I woke you up. 0:15:18.220,0:15:19.320 AURORA: (gasps) 0:15:19.320,0:15:26.460 Even the less explicitly violent abductors, like Jim from Passengers, still isolate and control their victims 0:15:29.260,0:15:31.260 AURORA: I'm gonna be sick 0:15:34.060,0:15:39.300 Regardless of the intentions of the writers, these narratives end up both excusing 0:15:39.580,0:15:43.100 and romanticizing the violent behavior of abusive men 0:15:45.640,0:15:50.640 No discussion of abduction as romance would be complete without mention of Beauty and the Beast 0:15:51.670,0:15:54.269 especially the two enormously popular Disney movies 0:15:54.940,0:15:57.480 Both of which include a version of this trope 0:15:58.210,0:16:01.680 The Beast holds the life of Belle's father in his hands 0:16:02.500,0:16:03.780 and in order to save him 0:16:03.780,0:16:05.180 BELLE: You have my word.[br]BEAST: Done! 0:16:05.260,0:16:10.140 Belle trades away her own freedom and agrees to be imprisoned forever in the Beast's castle 0:16:11.340,0:16:12.100 BELLE: Papa! 0:16:12.180,0:16:18.860 Now pop criticism of Beauty and the Beast often focuses on something called Stockholm Syndrome which is a psychological phenomenon 0:16:19.450,0:16:22.980 wherein a kidnapping victim comes to sympathize with their kidnapper 0:16:23.890,0:16:27.960 However, it's not part of how I'm defining the abduction is romance trope. 0:16:28.510,0:16:30.780 and that's because a focus on Stockholm Syndrome 0:16:31.060,0:16:34.480 tends to shift the blame away from the perpetrator 0:16:34.480,0:16:40.020 and onto the victim. Which then works to undermine the female character, by implying she's been brainwashed 0:16:43.510,0:16:49.770 As I mentioned before many of the abducted or imprisoned women in these movies are actually shown to be quite brave 0:16:50.440,0:16:52.530 especially given their perilous situations 0:16:53.170,0:16:55.889 Many of them try to escape and some succeed 0:16:56.740,0:17:01.770 But regardless the victim and her motivations are not the problem with this trope 0:17:02.740,0:17:07.020 The problem stems entirely from the abductor and his actions 0:17:08.220,0:17:11.200 After all, it's the Beast who imprisons Belle, 0:17:11.880,0:17:14.180 isolates her, verbally berate her 0:17:14.180,0:17:15.900 BEAST: I TOLD YOU TO JOIN ME FOR DINNER 0:17:15.940,0:17:18.240 And even forbids her from eating at all! 0:17:19.619,0:17:22.920 BEAST: If she doesn't eat with me, then she doesn't eat at all! 0:17:23.240,0:17:24.500 BELLE: I didn't mean any harm- 0:17:24.500,0:17:26.880 BEAST: DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE?! 0:17:28.480,0:17:29.220 BELLE: Stop. 0:17:29.220,0:17:36.660 Despite all of this abusive behavior, the Beast is still framed as a misunderstood nice guy and he still gets the girl in the end 0:17:38.020,0:17:43.020 Stories like this carry with them some insidious messages about men and masculinity 0:17:43.690,0:17:48.330 Chief among them is the idea that abusive men just need to meet the right woman 0:17:49.000,0:17:54.612 Someone so special that the promise of her love will magically cure him of his violent ways 0:17:54.920,0:17:57.200 and make him a better person 0:17:58.440,0:18:04.880 Now it is possible to read these stories as being about the forgiveness and redemption of troubled men 0:18:05.290,0:18:07.290 Which in some ways they are 0:18:08.830,0:18:16.439 Unfortunately, these redemption arcs play out in ways that end up reinforcing some very pernicious myths about domestic abuse 0:18:19.330,0:18:26.159 Abusive men don't suddenly change overnight, especially not after a lifetime of being a dick 0:18:28.660,0:18:34.140 Men with a history of violent behavior don't spare their loved ones. 0:18:34.140,0:18:34.640 On the contrary 0:18:34.870,0:18:41.130 Domestic violence statistics show that intimate partners and family members bear the brunt of their attacks 0:18:43.120,0:18:49.979 In the movies, we're usually expected to assume that these abduction romances will end happily ever after 0:18:51.520,0:18:53.520 But in the real world 0:18:55.179,0:18:59.399 Love affairs like this would likely lead to abusive relationships 0:19:00.280,0:19:05.579 This is because the strongest predictor of domestic violence is previous acts of abuse 0:19:05.740,0:19:10.260 In fact, men with the history of committing violence against women 0:19:10.680,0:19:14.360 are 13 times more likely to repeat that behavior in the future 0:19:16.020,0:19:20.840 Psychologists refer to these patterns of repeat behavior as the cycle of abuse 0:19:22.929,0:19:29.579 Once an abusive episode stops, it's often followed by a honeymoon phase where the abuser will show remorse, 0:19:30.190,0:19:34.620 promise not to do it again and then act in kind, even loving ways 0:19:35.890,0:19:37.890 For a while at least. 0:19:38.520,0:19:45.680 But inevitably, that will be followed by a tension building phase which then culminates in another abusive episode 0:19:46.520,0:19:48.720 TEMUJIN: I shall keep you, Bortai 0:19:48.720,0:19:54.440 TEMUJIN: I shall keep you, and responding to my passion, your hatred will kindle into love. 0:19:56.140,0:19:58.360 BORTAI: Before that day dawns mongrel, the vultures will have feasted on your heart. 0:20:03.210,0:20:05.210 And the cycle continues 0:20:05.880,0:20:12.169 The first step in breaking this cycle is often for the survivor to get away from the abuser 0:20:13.620,0:20:21.229 Now it is possible for violent men to change their pattern of behavior. Although it's an extremely difficult process 0:20:21.990,0:20:23.990 requiring years of therapy 0:20:24.810,0:20:26.960 But that's rarely how it happens in Hollywood 0:20:28.080,0:20:30.080 In the movies we've been talking about 0:20:30.480,0:20:35.329 abusive men are miraculously transformed by finding true love and 0:20:36.720,0:20:41.089 They gain forgiveness for their crimes through a single act of heroism 0:20:42.200,0:20:47.460 This means they're never really held accountable for the harm. They've inflicted on others 0:20:49.380,0:20:53.420 Real redemption requires taking responsibility for your actions 0:20:54.120,0:20:59.299 It requires doing the slow, often painful work, of self transformation 0:21:00.930,0:21:07.039 The bottom line is: it's not possible to fix violent men by loving them in exactly the right way 0:21:08.550,0:21:12.350 But that's the idea at the heart of the abduction as romance trope 0:21:13.620,0:21:19.880 It's the kind of twisted Hollywood logic that can lead people of all genders to remain in abusive relationships 0:21:21.980,0:21:25.240 The abduction as romance trope needs to be retired 0:21:25.910,0:21:31.269 On-screen relationships can bloom from any number of dramatic or exciting scenarios 0:21:31.730,0:21:37.030 There really is no reason for writers to continue romanticizing abusive male behavior 0:21:40.160,0:21:46.359 Thanks for watching. These long form video essays take an enormous amount of time to write research and produce 0:21:46.760,0:21:52.540 So if you'd like to see more of them, please consider going over to patreon and helping to fund this project there 0:21:52.730,0:21:58.449 There's also a link to PayPal in the description below. I'll see you all again very soon with another episode 0:21:59.210,0:22:02.800 examining the intersections of masculinity, politics and media