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You may have heard some variation of the joke
"how do you know someone's vegan?
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Don't worry, they'll tell you!"
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Ironically, this joke captures one of the
reasons many—if not most—vegans actually
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won't tell you they're vegan.
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In this video we're not only going to look
into some of the reasons vegans hide their
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veganism, but also how this self-silencing—and
its causes—harms all of us—vegan or not.
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But the solution may not be what you expect.
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Essentially, we need to evolve towards a world
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without vegans.
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(I promise I’ll explain that…)
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Hi, it's Emily from BiteSizeVegan.org, where
you can find the article for this video with
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my sources and more information.
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While the first few sections of we'll cover
may sound like a commercial for why you should
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never consider moving away from eating animals,
there is evidence things may be changing.
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But before we can speak to the solutions and
signs of hope, we need to understand the fear
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that disclosure their veganism holds for many vegans.
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Research shows that negativity toward vegans
is not only widespread but also "largely accepted"
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and not seen as a societal problem, unlike other forms of bias.
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So, while vegans face bias and even outright
hate like other stigmatized groups, their
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experience is compounded by the fact that
hating on vegans is generally acceptable—even
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socially encouraged.
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Documentary filmmaker Kelly Guerin's experience
of "coming out vegan" was so jarring that
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she focused her Honors Thesis in Anthropology
on better understanding the source of the
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aggression she encountered:
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She said: “I expected my friends and family would
mock me as they had...when I became vegetarian.
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What I did not expect was the hostility I
faced and the almost daily confrontations
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in which I found myself forced to engage.
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I was called “freak”, “naïve”, and
was even told by one roommate
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“you should just do the world a favor and kill yourself”.
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Shockingly, an old friend who had recently
turned vegan confided that he found it much
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harder emotionally to tell people he was a
vegan than it was to come out as a homosexual
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in a conservative middle school."
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In my video and article "The Science of Why
People Hate Vegans," I explore what research—including
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Guerin's thesis—has to say about what motivates
these kinds of responses.
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I won't reiterate that entire video here,
but one of the key takeaways is that when
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we take the time to understand the defenses
behind such negativity toward vegans, we can
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see that they primarily arise from a place
of personal distress rather than intentional cruelty.
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At the same time, understanding the source
of negativity or aggression doesn't always
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make being on the receiving end of it any less distressing.
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Nor does it make that negativity acceptable.
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While it's helpful for us to lower our own
defenses in order to have more effective interactions
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with people, it's equally important that we
validate how painful, isolating, infuriating,
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and challenging it can be to be openly vegan in this world.
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In understanding all sides, we start to see
the common threads of humanity
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that run throughout our discord.
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As we’ve discussed, one of the most common
reasons vegans self-silence is to avoid stigma
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and stereotypes.
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Essentially, vegans desire what most of us
desire: to be judged for who we are rather
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than who people think we are.
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Studies show that the most prominent negative
perception of vegans is that they're judgmental,
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self-righteous, and arrogant.
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Some people have had interactions with vegans
where they felt judged or attacked—and,
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let’s be honest, they very well may have been.
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At the same time, research shows that even
the gentlest message from a vegan is often
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received as aggressive, and even just the
mention of a vegan can put people on guard.
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People often anticipate being judged by vegans,
which raises their defenses—and vegans anticipate
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being seen as judgemental, raising their defences as well.
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Essentially, vegans can be prejudged as judgmental
out of the fear of being judged.
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If they have to disclose their veganism, vegans
are put in the precarious position of trying
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to preemptively defend themselves from the
assumption they're judgmental while not coming
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across as judgmental in their defense.
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Vegans may “soften” their veganism to
avoid conflict, being stereotyped, and/or
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to make sure those around them don’t feel judged.
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As one study participant put it, "I have to
defend myself and protect them at the same
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time," speaking to the dual burden of “feel[ing]
responsible for making others feel comfortable
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around her while at the same time…protecting
herself from verbal attacks.”
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Many veg*ns feel they must also "balance the
tension between staying true to their...beliefs...and
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fitting in socially," emphasising that they
are proud of who they are and what they believe in.
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For some vegans, self-silencing is not so
much about fitting in socially as it is the
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exhaustive demands of explaining themselves,
which we'll explore soon in a dedicated
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(and, frankly, cathartic section).
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Understandably, many vegans just avoid opening
the door in the first place.
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Ironically, the self-silencing of vegans may
actually reinforce some of the very stigmas
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and stereotypes they are trying to avoid.
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After all, no one can experience a vegan positively
when they don't know they're vegan in the
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first place.
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You may have had many positively delightful
interactions with vegans and have absolutely no idea!
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This is why some vegans take the approach
of letting people get to know them first before
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disclosing that they're vegan.
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But this isn't always possible and—for some
of us—it's the people who know us best that
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have the most painful reactions.
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Another reason vegans self-silence is due to the fear of being
rejected, mocked, or dismissed.
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For many vegans, this fear comes from real-life painful experiences.
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Rejection is something we humans take extreme measures to avoid.
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The pain of rejection is significantly magnified
when it's in response to a core aspect of
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our identity or a firmly held core value.
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This adds an additional layer for vegans motivated
by ethical concerns for other animals,
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the environment, human rights, and/or societal health.
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Mockery and dismissal of their veganism feels
not only like a rejection of who they are,
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but also like mockery and dismissal of the
very real suffering and exploitation of other
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animals and humans alike, and of pressing
issues like the climate crisis.
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Perhaps the most devastating magnifier of
rejection is when it comes from a central
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figure in our life—especially from within our family of origin.
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Nothing hits us quite like family does.
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Disclosing veganism is often unavoidable with
family, and when that disclosure is met with negativity,
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it often leads vegans to be vigilant
about not disclosing their veganism to other
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people, or even returning to eating animals.
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Now that we've covered some of the complex
pressures behind vegan self-silencing with
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the sincerity and compassion they deserve,
let's take a moment to acknowledge a unifying
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thread running throughout them all:
the fact that frankly, being openly vegan is exhausting.
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This is a point that anyone can relate to on some level—vegan or not.
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One of the reasons people can be uncomfortable
around vegans is that they feel they have
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to defend themselves.
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Well, for anyone openly vegan, this is a default
expectation at all times—and, it's just
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the tip of the iceberg.
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Imagine having to:
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always be prepared to explain and defend every
aspect of veganism, and also
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answer for every action of every vegan as
if you are somehow responsible for whatever
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some vegan somewhere did, and also
have data and statistics for every potential
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question, and also make sure your responses don't come across
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as judgmental or combative—even if you were
approached with aggression, and even if you're
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being actively judged and preached to while
being accused of being judgmental and preachy,
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and also make sure that your responses are suited to
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the exact individual and situation you're in, and also
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preserve the relationship if with a friend,
family member, work colleague, or boss, and also
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try not to bring in any emotional intensity
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from your previous experiences of being rejected,
mocked, insulted, and disparaged for being
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vegan, and also make sure not to reflect badly on all other
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vegans and veganism itself, and also
try not to betray your own convictions, the
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animals, the planet, or all of society, and also
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do all of this with the knowledge that by
answering questions posed to you, you may
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be accused of "talking about veganism all the time."
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Being openly vegan can feel like having to
be a sociologist, psychologist, and walking
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encyclopedia with expert "skills in emotional
and social negotiation" and infinite patience
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and compassion.
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Honestly, sometimes you just want to be a
person around other people.
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Now again, this may sound like a commercial
for why you should never consider going vegan
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or moving away from eating animals, but there
is evidence that things may be changing.
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But before we get to that note of hope, let’s
look at how vegan self-silencing
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—and its causes—actually harm all of us.
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As I've hinted at throughout this video, the
pressures motivating vegans to self-silence—and
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the act of self-silencing itself—have a
larger-scale impact than just individual vegans.
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We as a society are becoming increasingly
concerned about climate change, workers' rights,
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dangers to our community's health, food insecurity,
and what happens to animals in our food system.
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The need for a societal evolution away from
eating animals is becoming more and more evident
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for the well-being of our planet, our communities,
and of course, the animals themselves.
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At the same time, we humans are social animals,
and we often look to what most other people
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are doing to aid in our decision-making.
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And most people are still eating animals.
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So even if we feel discomfort about what animals
go through to get to our plate or we're concerned
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about the climate, it doesn't look like other people are that worried.
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Researchers behind the delightfully named
study ""How do you know someone’s vegan?”
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They won’t always tell you” propose that
vegan self-silencing could reinforce this
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perception that not eating animals is some
"niche phenomenon" only adopted by a few people
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on the fringe of society.
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While it may seem like a small matter for
individual vegans to stay silent about their
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veganism, the study authors reference how
"[s]eemingly trivial differences in the number
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of people that hold a certain personal preference
within smaller groups can, in the long run,
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result in macro-level consequences for entire societies."
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From this viewpoint, "[t]he tendency to self-silence
among veg*ans may prevent the onset of momentum
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and[…]critical mass that is needed to achieve
a societal tipping point."
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At the same time, simply asking vegans to
be more vocal about their veganism places
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them in the Catch-22 of eliciting the very
stigma we’ve covered.
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The problem isn’t so much vegan self-silencing,
but rather the reasons driving that silence.
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As we've learned in this video, going against
social norms can have social consequences.
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Research shows that the fear of receiving
the same treatment as vegans prevents other
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people from taking steps to move away from
eating animals.
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Steps they’d be open to exploring were it
not for the potential social backlash.
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This may seem like an impossible gridlock
of necessary yet understandably resisted change.
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But there is evidence things may be shifting.
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Researchers, advocates, political leaders,
and organizations are becoming aware of the
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importance of institutional support for a
societal evolution away from farming animals.
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A shift in our collective relationship with
eating animals has to involve more than us
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as individuals, and there are organizations
working at a systemic level in an effort that
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none of us have to shoulder this alone.
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For example, some universities, hospitals,
schools, governmental bodies, businesses,
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and even fast-food chains serve plant-based
food as their default, with the option to
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"opt-in" to animal-based food.
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These programs have shown a significant decrease
in animal food consumption, and changing attitudes
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about plant-based foods.
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They’ve found that when not eating animals
is the norm rather than the deviation, people—including
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meat-eaters—are more likely to enjoy eating plant-based meals.
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In essence, rather than moving towards a world
where everyone is vegan, we need to move to
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a world without vegans at all—where not
eating animals is simply our default.
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Where we can all collectively act on our shared
values without fear of going it alone.
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On an individual level, the less we stigmatize
and stereotype vegans—or anyone's effort
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to move away from eating animals—the more
welcome people will feel to be open about
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their choices.
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And the more we see other people acting on
the things we also care about, the more welcome
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we can feel to make our own changes.
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I would love to hear your thoughts on this
topic in the comments.
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