Should I Divorce My Husband For Adultery? - Ask Pastor Tim

This is from:
"anonymous - just humiliated."

"Can I get a divorce?

I am still raw with pain

with every desire..."

Now hear this: "Can I get a divorce?

I am still raw with pain..."

but she has every desire and prays

to forgive her husband

of twenty-plus years

for his adulterous affair

with a young, beautiful woman,

who he spent over $8,000 on

with traveling to at least five states

including six cities,

jewelry from Tiffany's, jackets,

a new iWatch when it first was introduced

to the market.

It has been a little over two years ago

since this young woman,

angered by their breakup..."

Her husband and this young lady broke up,

so the young lady called the wife

and introduced herself....

"...to me as his girlfriend."

And revealed all this information,

which her husband didn't deny.

He confirmed it as true

when she confronted him.

"Reconciliation has been
harder than anything,

testing my faith as I go to God regularly

to forgive him continually."

She says, "I face triggers."

What does she mean?

There are these triggers that set off

anger and bitterness.

What? New discoveries.

Things that her husband
didn't fully disclose.

She's finding out as time goes on

new information, new discoveries.

Inconsistencies in the things

that he has told her that reveal lies.

"And the discovery that
he referred to this girl

as his ex-girlfriend,

upgrading their foul,
adulterous relationship

as one as common as a courtship

instead of referring to
her as what she was,

a mistress.

I'm hurting badly

with feelings of not feeling good enough."

So she feels like a failure as a wife.

"Anger that I wrestle in the flesh

because I cherish my
relationship with Jesus Christ.

My journey actually has been smoother

since I've discovered
this two-plus years ago.

But we still argue.

He says he's repented, but I don't see how

because I still feel disrespected

in the way he views her.

Like how he mentioned her to someone

as his ex-girlfriend,

and how he tells me I'm crazy

for still wrestling with the problem.

And like how he says
he lives a sinless life

now that he's repented.

Like when he uses profanity

in response to me badgering him

about the past adulterous affair

as if it's my fault.

His lies he's told in the aftermath

to cover up things she told me

aren't recognized as sin by him

because now that he's
not committing adultery,

he claims he's sinless."

She says, "I'm born again,

and I'm always repenting,

always seeking the Lord to purge me

as He said He would.

'Every branch that abides in Him...'

I'm never so satisfied with where I am

that I call myself sinless.

Am I set free? Yes.

But now more than ever, I'm wrestling

with anger and unforgiveness

as they are triggered.

I have really great days.

I have good days, moderate days,

and really, really bad days.

I'm seeking the Lord

and pouring out to Him through all this."

Now she also sent a follow-up

where she said this:

"I'm so sorry

concerning the message I just sent.

Be it far from me to leave
out my own fault too.

I've been wrestling with both anger

and horrible profanity.

I'm repenting constantly
for my angry outbursts

about the affair

and the marital neglect I experienced.

And to be honest," she says,

"he has many times sat quietly

and listened to me.

He has not been a monster toward me

since about two months after the discovery

of his adulterous affair.

And I'm sorry I left those points out."

She felt convicted.

So her first question is

can I get a divorce?

Now you recognize, she follows it up

by saying "every desire in her prayer

is to forgive her husband."

So this is a woman that's torn.

This is a woman who's trying to heal,

but she says there's triggers.

Like she finds some new information

that he wasn't honest about.

Or he seems to downplay it -

say it's her sin, it's her fault.

Why does she keep carrying on with this?

What do you tell her?

She says, "he tells me I'm crazy

for still wrestling with the problem."

I would say to her you're not crazy.

I mean, clearly if you're a woman

and your husband has been unfaithful

and then in the aftermath of it,

new information keeps coming out,

lies get uncovered,

your husband basically acts like

now that he's repented it's over

and you ought to just get over it.

No, I would say that all those things

are exactly going to keep the wound

opening up afresh.

What do you tell her?

Let's start right there.
Can I get a divorce?

What do you tell her?

I don't even think that
she really wants one.

But she's asking the question.

(from the room)

I don't think that's
something that you give

strong response to right away

because of the nature of it.

She doesn't seem like she wants a divorce.

The guy has been unfaithful.

She's not going to just get over it.

She seems to want to get over it.

You don't have a quick
answer for something like that.

I can't think - even though I know

what Scripture says about divorce

and the grounds for divorce -

she doesn't seem that she really wants to.

What quick response can you give to that?

Tim: Well, she may want to know

that she biblically can

even though she doesn't want to

so that it's kind of a
weapon in her arsenal

to leverage over the guy.

I'm just saying that could be.

But I mean, just from a
purely biblical standpoint,

(incomplete thought)

Let me ask you this.

If she divorced her husband,

if she was in our church

and she divorced her husband,

should we say,

well, she had biblical grounds?

Would we say, well, we
counseled her against it,

but she did actually
have biblical grounds?

Would we say no? She can't?

And there would be
consequences if she did?

Maybe some kind of
disciplinary consequences.

Well, let me ask you this.

If a woman has a husband who's unfaithful,

he says he's repented.

He doesn't go on in his sin.

And she seems to really
desire to forgive him,

is there a cutoff point?

Would you say that she has a right

25 years down the road to say

you know what?

My husband was unfaithful 25 years ago

and I want out.

I just got sick of this relationship

and I've got a biblical out

and I'm going to take it and use it now.

Is that like a get out of jail free card?

Seriously, the exception points

that are made there in Matthew 5 and 19,

if there's sexual immorality -

except in the case of sexual immorality.

Is there, whether we put a distinct

amount of time on it or not,

is there a time?

When Jesus says except
for sexual immorality,

does He mean that well,
if you have a spouse

who's been sexually immoral,

and once they've done that,

you basically have a right
to divorce them at anytime?

Or is there a timeline?

Would we say there is a time

that if enough time goes by,

that it would be inappropriate?

What say you?

Scripture.

What Scripture has
to do with what's right?

What's loving? What's appropiate?

What's God-like? What's Christ-like?

(from the room)

Would 1 Corinthians 7:3-14

be applicable to this situation?

(unintelligible)

Tim: Which verse specifically

are you thinking is applicable?

(from the room)

It's 1 Corinthians 7:13.

"If any woman has a husband

who is an unbeliever

and consents to live with her,

she should not divorce him.

For the unbelieving husband

is made holy because of his wife."

Tim: But that situation
doesn't necessarily

bring in the sexual immorality.

Whereas the Matthew texts

do bring in that specific reality.

Let me ask you this.

Do you think that it's possible

to forgive the husband
and still divorce him?

I hear no. I hear yes.

Could you imagine a situation

where forgiving him - which is good,

appropriate,

letting go of the
bitterness that you feel,

where it still would be
necessary to divorce him?

(unintelligible)

I mean, what if your husband

actually was involved in
pedophilia or something

and you've got kids.

Is it possible to forgive him

and yet recognize I've
got to get out of this

perhaps for my own safety

or for the safety of the children?

Perhaps that could be.

That doesn't seem like this situation.

And clearly it's a different situation

when you have a spouse who's continuing

in their sexual immorality.

But when you have
somebody that's committed it

and then they're repentant...

Now, I recognize, we could wrestle with

well, is he sincere? Is he not sincere?

But do you think that a Christian

has an obligation to
remain in the marriage

if the spouse repents?

Is it an obligation?

Open your Bibles to Matthew 19.

You're already there.

Look at 19:1,

"Now when Jesus had finished these sayings

He went away from Galilee

and entered the region of
Judea beyond the Jordan.

Large crowds followed Him

and He healed them there.

And Pharisees came up
to Him and tested Him

by asking 'is it lawful to divorce

one's wife for any cause?'

He answered, 'have you not read

that He Who created them
from the beginning

made them male and female?'

And said, 'therefore a man shall

leave his father and his mother

and hold fast to his wife,

and the two shall become one flesh.

So they're no longer two, but one flesh.

What therefore God has joined together,

let not man separate.'

They said to Him, 'Why then did Moses

command one to give
a certificate of divorce

and to send her away?'

He said to them, 'Because
of your hardness of heart

Moses allowed you to divorce your wives.

But from the beginning, it was not so.

And I say to you,
whoever divorces his wife

except for sexual immorality

and marries another, commits adultery.'"

So there is an exception there.

So okay, with the exception -

now this is speaking of a man.

It was a very man-dominated society then.

But nevertheless, a woman

divorces a husband
because of sexual immorality.

It seems like there's an exception there.

There's an exception,

but there certainly isn't a mandate.

It's not commanded.

Do we not feel that a Christian

who forgives sin against themselves -

that's very Christ-like.

For her to forgive her husband -

very Christ-like.

Would we not agree with that?

He's claiming to have repented.

She says for the last two years -

that's 24 months - she says for 22 months,

things have actually gone fairly well.

Now there's these triggers
that keep opening it up,

but once he came clean, she says,

that things were pretty good.

What do you tell her?

She's got these triggers.

She's got these difficulties.

What could you tell her
that would really help her?

(from the room)

Do you think that telling her that love

does not keep a record of wrongdoing,

if she truly has forgiven him...

for example, like you said, if we tell her

that biblically she can divorce,

is there a time limit?

Well, let's say 25 years from now

she wants to divorce.

Tim: Here's the thing.

You can say that,

but here's the problem.

If you were married and your husband

was the one who was unfaithful,

and then as you're moving forward,

you keep finding
inconsistencies with his stories,

and instead of calling
the woman a "mistress,"

he's referring to her as an ex-girlfriend.

And his lies keep coming back

so that the wound keeps getting re-opened.

You wouldn't be impervious to that.

Your trust is destroyed.

And the thing is
inconsistencies in his stories

keep coming up.

And he keeps referring to the woman

in terms (incomplete thought).

What's that?

(from the room)

What keeps bringing that issue up though?

Tim: Well, it's going to come up.

I mean, it sounds like he's speaking

to other people about it

and it gets back to her ears

that he's referring to her in terms

that seem to lessen
the severity of his sin.

And then, can you imagine

if you're wanting to talk,

especially when there's inconsistencies

and you've got questions,

and when you ask about them

and you get upset,

he's telling you that you're
the one who's wrong.

You're just holding on to it.

You're crazy.

You're still wrestling with these things.

Get over it.

Listen, those things would be

incredibly hurtful and
wound opening events.

(from the room)

It kind of reminds me
of David in Psalm 55,

some of the things he said there,

that my companion stretched out his hand;

he violated his covenant.

And here this lady's
marriage has been violated.

And David felt like flying away

from the situation,

but ultimately cast his
burden on the Lord.

And I guess if she's determined

to love her husband,

all those reminders are a reminder

ultimately to go back to Christ,

to cast her burden on Him,

and just plead for mercy

and help from the Lord.

And He's going to give that.

And if it's getting better

in these last two years,

I would assume in five years,

it's even going to be more bearable,

better hopefully.

Hopefully God would save her husband.

If she's going to stay with him,

what other option does she have

but to rely on the Lord?

Tim: Yeah, one of the things I wrote down

is to encourage her to not forget

the power of prayer

and laying hold on the Lord

and asking for supernatural grace.

But here's the thing,

there are women who navigate

these kinds of situations

and they navigate it to the
honor and glory of the Lord.

But I think one of the things

that you need to navigate it

is you have to think right.

And you have to think truth.

And one of the things

is to surround yourself with people

who are going to bring
you back to the truth

all the time.

And I think that's being in a good church,

surrounding yourself with people

that truly help you.

There are people who don't help.

There are people who -
even professing Christians

and perhaps genuine Christians

who give wrong advice, bad advice,

and it's not helpful.

It's not healing.

You need to surround yourself with people

who really are going
to guide you into truth

that is helpful,

that will help you get
across these hurdles.

And they don't always
need to be living people.

One of the reasons I grabbed

"The Sympathy of Christ,"
by Octavius Winslow

off my shelf is the sympathy of Christ.

The reality is we have a
sympathetic High Priest.

This is one of the greatest books

that I have on my shelf
for suffering people.

Because what it does is
it takes you close to Christ.

And it shows you His
suffering and His sympathy

for the suffering.

Because the truth is that Jesus

has been in a place where
He suffered the rejection,

He suffered the hurt,

He's been there.

And I think that's critical,

but think right. Think right.

What we need to be called back to

especially when we're suffering -

(incomplete thought)

I especially think about the Apostle Paul

or the Apostle Peter.

When they're dealing with people

who are suffering, what did they do?

They didn't say just
get over it. You're crazy.

They brought truth to appeal to the mind.

That's what they did.

They came in and they said look,

we're not going to say

your suffering isn't suffering.

But, your suffering - it feels long,

it feels hard - it's momentary.

Fifty years from now,

this sister will be with the Lord.

She'll be in Paradise.

Every tear will be wiped away.

So we need to keep it in perspective.

Momentary, light affliction is all

that our suffering in this life is called.

And it's going to give way,

give place to an eternal weight of glory.

But you think - you think.

What truths does this woman [need?]

Obviously, the truths of the cross.

The truths of God's forgiveness of her.

That's got to be the foundation.

I'm forgiven.

After what I've done, I'm forgiven.

After what I've done to Him, I'm forgiven.

Another thing that is essential

is coming back to the truth,

God has promised

to never leave us or forsake us.

Because you know what the temptation

in trial is.

The devil's right there to say,

"Look, God's vacated.

You're on your own.

He's not helping you. He's silent.

You're praying to Him?

This isn't going away.

He's not hearing you."

And I know Charles Leiter has said

that the Gardener is never so close

as when He's pruning.

And I've come across it somewhere else,

maybe Matthew Henry,

that the Refiner is never
so close to the gold...

You could speak to that.

I mean, you put the silver and gold

in the kiln.

You're not far away

when the gold's cooking in the kiln,

and you're getting the impurities out.

And that's the reality.

What we have to be
brought back to is this,

that God is specifically
ordering my suffering.

We have to be confident in that.

Otherwise, we have no
foundation to stand on.

We have to be able to say

all things are indeed working
together for my good.

I have to believe in a God

that is entirely in control

of every nuance of my life,

and that He's guiding.

And that He is the God Who says

He does not willingly
afflict the sons of men.

What does that mean? It's the idea

that He doesn't from the heart.

He doesn't because He's cruel.

Now look, He's a God Who's just.

But there's sensitivity with God.

I mean, you definitely
get the idea in Scripture,

God does not need to have His arm twisted

to show mercy.

It seems more difficult for
Him to mete out justice.

But entirely consistent
with His character,

He must.

But just the idea that He's not willing

to afflict the sons of men.

It's this idea that God is going to bring

the suffering that's for our good.

I'd tell her you don't want to
use your mouth like that

with your husband.

You don't want any profanity to come out.

That's wrong.

No matter what he's done, that's wrong.

And she talks about the
repenting that she does,

but it really needs to be
the kind of repenting

where she eliminates
that from her life totally.

She needs that.

There needs to be a real holiness

being worked out there

in the fear of God.

There needs to be a cleansing.

The tongue needs to be set in order.

And she needs the grace.

Just because her husband may be

reopening the wound and triggers may come,

that is no excuse for her to do that.

I mean, we understand the circumstances

and that it's really difficult.

We're not saying it isn't difficult.

It is.

She's in an incredibly
difficult situation.

I mean, do you ladies have anything

that you would add
that you would tell her?

(from the room)

I was just going to ask

on a practical level.

Is there a time when godly counsel

is to go seek help from elders,

from people in your church,

to counsel the two of them together

if he saying that he has repented

and has turned from that,

but there are signs that
maybe that is not true.

Is there a time when it's not just dealt

with the two of them, they need to go out?

Like within their body?

Tim: Yes, I mean, definitely counseling.

Definitely whether that's
pastoral counseling

with the pastors

or whether there's some kind of counseling

with a counselor,

if both of them can be involved,

that's definitely a good place.

My assumption in this

is that you have a husband

that's professing to have repented

and he feels like now he's actually

even reached some state
of perfection or something.

The feeling I get is he probably

isn't a genuine Christian.

Now, that still doesn't mean

that there couldn't be some good things

achieved if you can get
them both into counseling.

But that would be good if
he's willing to do that.

But sometimes I guess we just

have to recognize

that a guy like this might not be willing.

Without knowing the real details there,

he might not be willing,

or even if he was
willing for a time to go,

if he's not genuinely converted,

difficult to know how
much fruit there may be.

Sometimes in these situations

if you've got one that's converted

and the other one it's
pretty obvious they're not,

you really have to focus
in on the one that's saved

to do the right thing.

Because if the lost member,

even if they're going to counseling,

they just lack the equipment

to handle this thing in a godly fashion.

And perhaps they even need to be

dealt with about their false profession.

And the thing is if the Lord's in it,

then yeah, you'll get wonderful fruit,

because if God saves him,

then the thing will really heal.

But if the Lord isn't in it,

dealing with him like that is probably

going to chase him away
from the counseling.

And he will all the more quickly

not want to be involved.

Somebody had a hand up just now.

(from the room)

I was just thinking that she might also

still be dwelling on it because

he did not confess - he got caught.

So that could be something

that she's still thinking about.

Tim: Yeah, she's going to play
it over and over in her mind.

And I'll guarantee, we view things

as elders in the church like that.

We take very much into consideration

when sin is exposed -

did they get caught?

Or did they come and confess?

So often when people get caught,

then they say, "Oh, I repent."

Well, now it's very questionable.

Now you got caught.

You were forced to now play the part.

So yes, I think any woman,

that would be a big issue.

That yeah, he didn't come
and confess this to me.

He got caught.

And then the thing that it seems like

she's bringing out -

because we've seen this.

We see this with sin.

A person gets caught.

Now they confess, but later

it becomes discovered

that they didn't confess everything.

And now you confront them with the more.

Well, now they confess it.

And now they apparently repent of that.

But you can understand if you're a wife,

and it seems like he's repented,

but new things keep coming up

that it's very convenient
he never mentioned.

The thing you're looking
for when somebody repents

is you just lay it all out on the table

so that there's nothing hidden,

nothing more that's going to come out.

It's just there it all is.

I'm not hiding anything.

Because yes, as soon
as you've got the idea,

he got caught and he's only

admitting what he got caught for

and we keep finding out

there's more stuff that's hidden.

That's one of the greatest indications

that there is no genuine aspect

to the repentance.

It's all a put on.

(from the room)

I also have a thought,

in the first letter she talked a lot about

his response and that at times

still referring to her as ex-girlfriend

and/or not disclosing everything,

but in the next letter, she was like,

it hasn't all been bad.

There have been times where I have had

him listen to my concerns.

So it just made me think of when

in 1 Peter it's talking about suffering

and her desire to actually walk

pleasing to the Lord in that manner.

And in knowing her weaknesses,

knowing that there's triggers,

knowing that the devil's
going to be right there

to tempt her in those weaknesses,

just what it says in 1 Peter 5:6,

"Humble yourselves therefore

under the mighty hand of God

so that at the proper time

He may exalt you,

casting all your anxieties on Him

because He cares for you."

And then this part where it says,

"be sober-minded,

be watchful.

Your adversary, the devil, prowls around

like a roaring lion

seeking someone to devour.

Resist him, firm in your faith,

knowing that the same kinds of sufferings

are being experienced

by your brotherhood throughout the world

and after you have
suffered a little while,

the God of all grace Who has called you

to His eternal glory in Christ

will Himself restore, confirm,

strengthen, and establish you.

To Him be the dominion
forever and ever, amen."

So it seems like she
wants to fight against it

and just trusting in those things

and God's enabled her to fight against it

and to humble herself before Him

and to cast her anxieties on Him

in this season.

It seems like she recognizes

that things are getting
a little bit better.

She's enduring and trusting more.

Tim: I'll tell you two
other aspects of this

that if she's rightly communicating it

that are pretty good indicators

that his repentance is

not a godly repentance.

He may have stepped away from this

and he wants to preserve his marriage,

but a good indication
it's not godly repentance -

two aspects that jump out at me

is one, if a man sins
against his wife that way,

and he knows that calling that girl

an ex-girlfriend just does not

sit well with her,

he should never do it again.

Another thing that jumps out

is that he would ever fault her

for not getting over it.

After what he's done,

his approach should be one of shame,

not fault-finding with her.

So you can understand

that those things would definitely

reopen the wounds and be hurtful.

But the thing is, you have to trust,

yes, the wound keeps getting reopened,

but the Lord's only
going to let that wound

be reopened as many times as is necessary.

Never so often that it's cruel.

Never so often as that it's harmful.

He's going to let it happen

as many times as it's useful.

And clearly, she's indicating

that there are some things that do need

to be dredged up out of her own life.

But it's very difficult.

(from the room)

If he continued to refer to the woman

as an ex-girlfriend

and continued in that disrespect to her

as his wife,

would we call her to continue

to endure the struggle?

Or do you think at that point,

like it's an intentional harm towards her

by her husband?

Tim: Well, I don't think it's grounds

to try to get out of the marriage.

I think she needs to
fight for this marriage.

And like I say, I think
all the more she's able

even with him reopening wounds,

all the more she's able to forgive him,

is all the more Christlike
she comes across.

And you know, the truth is

that 1 Peter 3 reality
of seeking to win him

by her conduct.

And I guarantee,

her throwing a blast of profanity at him

does not help.

It doesn't help anything.

It doesn't help her.

It doesn't help heal it.

It doesn't help him.

In no way does it help anything.

But if she navigates this thing

with the help of God,

with the grace of God -

and that's like, after what James said,

I have it here -

don't underestimate the power of prayer.

Don't underestimate the thing that seems

so impossible to let go of or to forgive

or to get over,

the Lord has helped His people

to get over and past every one
of those kinds of situations.

And there is grace sufficient.

And people who have experienced it

can say at times, there is a
supernatural help from God

to forgive or to be able to cover over

or to love.

I was just recently talking about

the Wurmbrand book that
was selling for a dollar,

"Tortured for Christ."

You know, when they were in

those Romanian prisons,

the more their captors beat them,

the more love they felt for the jailers.

It's the guy whipping them,

with every stroke of the whip,

they're feeling greater love

for the guy whipping them.

How is that?

It's just plain supernatural.

But God's in the business
of helping His people,

so you cast your cares on Him.

There's a place to come:

Lord, please, he keeps
reopening the wound.

You know that he is.

You know this hurts, Lord.

You don't expect it not to hurt.

I need help. Lord, I need help.

In my own strength, I cannot do this.

You just cast yourself on Him.

And the thing is He helps His people.

He really does.

There's help for her.

And I think she's experiencing
some of that help.

But I think there's areas

where there's still defilement

in her own life that needs to be cleansed.

She needs to control her tongue.

And that doesn't seem like it's in place,

not if she's letting loose

with a flurry of profanity.

Well, anything else?

(from the room)

I would say to her

to just exhaust every avenue

of overcoming it with love

and persistence in prayer with the Lord.

Because the Lord will give you peace

to left or right if you're
in prayer about it.

The fear of the Lord overcomes you

and will convict you of the things

spoken out of turn

or if you made a frown
when you're offended.

The Lord will convict them right there.

The sanctifying even in that suffering

is good for the offended or the spouse.

And also, in the care of the Lord,

He will direct when
the time is to move on.

Because it won't be the
Christian's desire to move on.

But it will be the Lord's will.

Tim: Yeah, on that note.

This is from the chapter,

"The Emotion of Love in Christ."

"How little do we know experimentally

of the love of Christ in our souls

dislodging slavish fear,

a bondage spirit, unbelieving doubt,

and so enlarging our hearts that we may

run the way of the Lord's commandments.

And the chiefest is to love.

Bring your heart with its
profoundest emptiness,

its most startling discovery of sin,

its lowest frame, its deepest sorrow,

and sink it into the depths

of the Savior's love.

That infinite sea will flow over all,

erase all, absorb all,

and your soul shall swim and sport

amid its gentle waves,

exclaiming in your joy and transport,

'O the depths...'

The Lord direct your heart

into the love of God.

Just as it is hard, cold, fickle,

sinful, sad, and sorrowful,

Christ's love touching your hard heart

will dissolve it.

Touching your cold heart will warm it.

Touching your sinful heart will purify it.

Touching your sorrowful
heart will soothe it.

Touching your wandering heart

will draw it back to Jesus.

Only bring your heart to Christ's love.

Believe in its existence, its reality,

its fullness, its freeness.

Believe that He loves you

and just as love begets love,

so the simple belief in the love of Jesus

will inspire you with a reflected

responsive affection

and your soul like the chrysalis

will burst from its captivity and gloom

and soaring in life, liberty, and beauty

will float in the sunbeams of God's full,

free, and eternal love.

And in a little while, will find itself

in Heaven where all is love."

And she should buy this book.

Seriously.

For people who are deeply suffering,

like I say, Octavius Winslow.

One of the greatest books -

balm for the suffering soul.

Well, let's pray.

Father, we pray that there might be help

for some folks in the things

that were said tonight.

Lord, we pray that You'd use this

in some people's lives for good,

for Your glory, for healing,

for salvation, for help.

Lord, we pray that Your kindness,

that this love that
Octavius Winslow speaks about,

oh, Lord, may we know more about it.

Help us to know it

and to swim in the depths of it.

Help this sister, who, Lord,

You've put her in the furnace.

We pray that she would know

the cleansing, purifying grace of God

in the midst of those flames.

Help her to endure.

Help her to persevere.

Help her to love her husband

with the love that only You can give.