Standing alone | Katherine De Jesus | TEDxDoralAcademyPrep

"​It isn't until we're alone that we grow up. That we learn just how strong we are. Just how capable we are. Just how comfortable we can get with the uncomfortable."

Katherine, a senior, is a STEM nerd-turned-aspiring-filmmaker who thrives off doing the impossible. A National Merit Scholar, Silver Knight nominee, and internationally awarded high school filmmaker, Katherine never fails to exceed the high expectations she sets for herself. Teachers and classmates alike can attest to her kind heart and willingness to help others. If there is anything that should be noted about Katherine, it is that she is always 100% herself.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

If you know me, you know my sister.

Many of you may actually be expecting her
to walk in at any moment

to give this speech alongside me.

Because we're twins, right?

We do everything together.

Womb to the tomb.

I hate to break it to you all,
but tonight, I stand here alone.

I know, surprising -

the twins are doing something separate,

but, yes, I stand here alone.

Now, with this, many of you
may be questioning why.

Why, Kat, have you decided
to be up here alone?

Well, as a twin,

uniqueness is something I can honestly say
I've always struggled with.

Many failed to identify

not only the physical differences
between my sister and I

but our personality differences as well.

Yeah, I know in my heart
that we are different.

And I stand here alone tonight
to prove that not only to you all

but to myself.

Because as much as I
can stand here and ramble on

about the idea that we're
two separate, unique individuals,

I still struggle to figure out
what exactly makes us so.

To much of my own surprise,

when people ask me,
"What's different about you guys?"

I have a hard time finding a valid answer.

We just like so many of the same things.

We talk about the same things,
hate the same things,

are passionate about the same things,
do the same things.

We just make sure
not to wear the same things.

And I can assure you
it's pure coincidence:

we don't strive to be the same.

It literally just happens.

So the least I can do
is cut my hair short.

Shorter than hers, that is.

My shorter hair makes me feel,
well, different, unique.

It reminds me that I am my own person,

that I'm the rebellious one,
the risk-taker,

the daredevil who tries
not to think too much,

the crybaby, the clumsy one,

the one that all too often
puts her foot in her mouth.

My shorter hair is a physical reminder
that I am indeed different,

that I am my own person,

that I am one-in-a-million,

not one in a pair, not a part of a unit,

but I am just Katherine De Jesus.

Just Kat, just me.

My sister and I are always being compared.

And as twins, I understand why that is.

But I still await the day

where my test scores and accomplishments
aren't compared to those of my sister.

I await the day where it's not always

"You got 2 points higher
than your sister" -

"two points less," "two points more."

I await the day where I am
compared to who I used to be.

Excuse me if I sound a little bit selfish,

but I await the day
where the weight of my achievements

aren't measured
according to those of my sister.

Competition is basically nonexistent
between my sister and I.

I am extremely proud of what she's done,

and I know she is proud of what I've done.

But I don't care whether
I'm better than my sister.

I want to know if I'm better
than the person who I was yesterday

because as an individual, which I am,
I aim to improve myself.

Nonetheless, I think I've always stood
by my sister because it's easier that way.

It's easier to have my best friend,
my womb mate, always there for me,

always there to help me make decisions,

there to help me pick out
what to wear, what to buy,

what to order at a restaurant.

It's even easier to start conversations;
we don't have to say anything.

People just go on up to us, be like,

"Oh my god, you're twins.
What's that like?"

And the conversation goes from there.

It's easier, far easier than being alone.

The fear of being alone: it's mortifying.

But it isn't until we're alone
that we grow up,

that we learn just how strong we are,
just how capable we are,

just how comfortable we can get
with the uncomfortable.

I have loved every single moment,
every memory, every award, every title,

every laugh, every cry

I've been given the privilege
to share with my sister.

But now I am ready to begin
a new chapter, a new book.

I am eager to start making a name
for myself, to distinguish myself.

I'm eager to see
that it is my story that I tell,

and I sure do pray it's a good one.

Of course, that begs the question,

what story does Katherine De Jesus -
not Kimberly and Katherine - want to tell?

What story do you - not your parents,
not your friends, not your teachers -

want to tell?

We will never have the answer
to this question until we stand alone,

until we listen to our own voices,
our own brains, our own hearts,

our own guts.

I hate to be cliche and cheesy and all,

but I couldn't think
of any other quote more fitting

to explain what I'm trying to say.

When writing the story of your life,
remember that it is you who holds the pen

or the pencil or the crayon
or the highlighter or the Sharpie -

whatever you prefer.

Because the one thing you'll always have
that nobody else does is you,

your heart, your soul, your essence.

Those things are yours and only yours.

They form who you are, your identity.

So, who are you? Who am I?

I didn't realize how difficult
this question would be

until I tried answering it myself.

So, who am I?

Yes, I am a twin,
but I am more than just that.

I am Katherine De Jesus.

I'm a Black Hispanic female,
first-generation American.

I'm an artist, a filmmaker.

I am a hardcore, BuzzFeed,
anything-superhero enthusiast.

I'm an absolute dork, a bookworm.

I'm many things,

but more than anything,
I'm really just me,

me being a girl
who just wants to be happy,

who wants to do what she loves.

I'm just a girl with the hunger
to excel, to learn, to grow.

I'm a girl who desires
something different, something good,

something my heart told me

I would start finding
in standing here alone.

Thank you.