-
Hey, everybody. Happy Thursday. Now
-
today's video is on a topic that we
-
haven't discussed in years. And that topic
-
is hypersexuality as a result of
-
childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault.
-
And the question I got was, "Hey, Katie, I
-
was raped as a child and as a consequence
-
I'm hypersexual. You've discussed how
-
painful and hard it can be to have a
-
healthy sex life after being sexually
-
abused but you haven't talked about how
-
else one might react, such as, being
-
overly sexual. It would be interesting to
-
see what you think about it. I feel we're
-
a minority and it's not talked about much.
-
I may be wrong but since it's not
-
something widely discussed, I wouldn't
-
know. It's something that I struggle with
-
daily and has gotten me into many
-
dangerous situations, so I'm curious to
-
know." And the first thing that I want to
-
say is, that the truth about childhood
-
sexual abuse or sexual assault at any age.
-
The most common response is actually to be
-
hypersexual and so I just want to put that
-
out there, that you are not in the
-
minority, you're actually in the majority.
-
So, know that you're not alone. And I know
-
a lot of you out there watching this video
-
who haven't gone through this are
-
thinking doesn't that, isn't that like the
-
opposite. Isn't that counterintuitive? Why
-
would someone who was harmed sexually as
-
a child or at some point in their life,
-
then turn around and be hypersexual. Why
-
would they do that? Why would they hurt
-
themselves with the very thing that hurt
-
them in beginning? And there are many
-
reasons that we do it. The first, is that
-
it's a way to regain control, to take it
-
back. Many of my clients have told me
-
that they will be hypersexual, they'll
-
put themselves into dangerous sexual
-
situations because it's their way of
-
saying "It's my body, I decide. I do what
-
I want." And it's almost like they get to
-
reverse the role. Instead of feeling like
-
someone has control over them and can do
-
whatever they want to them and even
-
saying no isn't stopping it. They get to
-
choose and they get to have as much sex as
-
they want. The second reason many people
-
become hypersexualized, is validation.
-
Imagine if we were sexually abused as
-
children. We were raised in that
-
environment. Thorugh that time in our
-
formative years. We were shown that maybe
-
the only way we got one on one attention
-
was with sex. Maybe the only time we were
-
really told that we were loved was through
-
sex. Maybe that's how we knew we were
-
worthwhile and we were important. And all
-
of those things. Maybe that was something
-
we were told while we were being sexually
-
abused. So you can see, how if that's what
-
happening in our formative years, even
-
into our teens. We will associate love,
-
support, validation with sex. Therefore in
-
order to get what we all need, right, we
-
all need love, validation and support. We
-
will then turn to sex to fill that need.
-
And if you're new to my channel, don't
-
forget to subscribe and make sure you
-
click that bell icon on my homepage so
-
that you get notified. I've heard from a
-
lot of you, that you're being made aware
-
of the videos when I put them up. So
-
clicking that bell and turning on your
-
notifications should change that. But the
-
third reason that I know of, in my
-
experience is chemical dependency. And
-
that sounds like we're talking about
-
addiction and we kind of are. Sex can
-
release those feel good hormones. You know
-
how I've talked about different chemicals
-
in our brain, like dopamine and
-
norepinephrine. And all those things that
-
swirl around and make us feel really good.
-
Sex releases those. Therefore, if we've
-
been hypersexualized we're already maybe
-
used to being abused and being sexualized
-
for many night, maybe every night growing
-
up. When we get older we still seek out
-
that same feeling and that's why when you
-
talk about treatment for this, the next
-
stage then is, like, dual treatment. We
-
need to treat potentially the addiction
-
and that like yearning for that feel good,
-
that dopamine, that serotonin, that
-
norepinephrine that gets released. We may
-
seek that out, so we need to deal with the
-
addiction, the sex addiction. And
-
secondly we have to heal from our trauma
-
and you I did those videos with Alexa,
-
where we talked about trauma therapy and
-
EMDR. And all the different ways that you
-
can heal from a trauma. And as always
-
leave in the comments your own experience.
-
I'm just sharing what I know and those are
-
only three reasons that I'm aware of.
-
Maybe they're others that I'm forgetting.
-
Please let us know. And if you want more
-
videos about this and you like this kind
-
of content, like I said we haven't talked
-
about it in maybe years. Then give us a
-
thumbs up and let me know as well. And
-
I hope that you found this helpful, I hope
-
this is healing and lets you know that you
-
are not in the minority. You are instead
-
in the majority and things can and will
-
get better. And I will see you next time.
-
Bye!