Hey, everybody. Happy Thursday. Now
today's video is on a topic that we
haven't discussed in years. And that topic
is hypersexuality as a result of
childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault.
And the question I got was, "Hey, Katie, I
was raped as a child and as a consequence
I'm hypersexual. You've discussed how
painful and hard it can be to have a
healthy sex life after being sexually
abused but you haven't talked about how
else one might react, such as, being
overly sexual. It would be interesting to
see what you think about it. I feel we're
a minority and it's not talked about much.
I may be wrong but since it's not
something widely discussed, I wouldn't
know. It's something that I struggle with
daily and has gotten me into many
dangerous situations, so I'm curious to
know." And the first thing that I want to
say is, that the truth about childhood
sexual abuse or sexual assault at any age.
The most common response is actually to be
hypersexual and so I just want to put that
out there, that you are not in the
minority, you're actually in the majority.
So, know that you're not alone. And I know
a lot of you out there watching this video
who haven't gone through this are
thinking doesn't that, isn't that like the
opposite. Isn't that counterintuitive? Why
would someone who was harmed sexually as
a child or at some point in their life,
then turn around and be hypersexual. Why
would they do that? Why would they hurt
themselves with the very thing that hurt
them in beginning? And there are many
reasons that we do it. The first, is that
it's a way to regain control, to take it
back. Many of my clients have told me
that they will be hypersexual, they'll
put themselves into dangerous sexual
situations because it's their way of
saying "It's my body, I decide. I do what
I want." And it's almost like they get to
reverse the role. Instead of feeling like
someone has control over them and can do
whatever they want to them and even
saying no isn't stopping it. They get to
choose and they get to have as much sex as
they want. The second reason many people
become hypersexualized, is validation.
Imagine if we were sexually abused as
children. We were raised in that
environment. Thorugh that time in our
formative years. We were shown that maybe
the only way we got one on one attention
was with sex. Maybe the only time we were
really told that we were loved was through
sex. Maybe that's how we knew we were
worthwhile and we were important. And all
of those things. Maybe that was something
we were told while we were being sexually
abused. So you can see, how if that's what
happening in our formative years, even
into our teens. We will associate love,
support, validation with sex. Therefore in
order to get what we all need, right, we
all need love, validation and support. We
will then turn to sex to fill that need.
And if you're new to my channel, don't
forget to subscribe and make sure you
click that bell icon on my homepage so
that you get notified. I've heard from a
lot of you, that you're being made aware
of the videos when I put them up. So
clicking that bell and turning on your
notifications should change that. But the
third reason that I know of, in my
experience is chemical dependency. And
that sounds like we're talking about
addiction and we kind of are. Sex can
release those feel good hormones. You know
how I've talked about different chemicals
in our brain, like dopamine and
norepinephrine. And all those things that
swirl around and make us feel really good.
Sex releases those. Therefore, if we've
been hypersexualized we're already maybe
used to being abused and being sexualized
for many night, maybe every night growing
up. When we get older we still seek out
that same feeling and that's why when you
talk about treatment for this, the next
stage then is, like, dual treatment. We
need to treat potentially the addiction
and that like yearning for that feel good,
that dopamine, that serotonin, that
norepinephrine that gets released. We may
seek that out, so we need to deal with the
addiction, the sex addiction. And
secondly we have to heal from our trauma
and you I did those videos with Alexa,
where we talked about trauma therapy and
EMDR. And all the different ways that you
can heal from a trauma. And as always
leave in the comments your own experience.
I'm just sharing what I know and those are
only three reasons that I'm aware of.
Maybe they're others that I'm forgetting.
Please let us know. And if you want more
videos about this and you like this kind
of content, like I said we haven't talked
about it in maybe years. Then give us a
thumbs up and let me know as well. And
I hope that you found this helpful, I hope
this is healing and lets you know that you
are not in the minority. You are instead
in the majority and things can and will
get better. And I will see you next time.
Bye!