-
Come in.
-
Trouble at mill.
-
Oh no. What sort of trouble?
-
Pardon?
-
I don't understand what you're saying.
-
One of the cross beams has gone out
askew on the treddle.
-
- Well what on earth does that mean?
- I don't know.
-
Mr Wentworth just told me to come in
here and say that there was trouble
at the mill, that's all.
-
I didn't expect
a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
-
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
-
Our chief weapon is surprise...
Surprise and fear, fear and surprise...
-
our two weapons are fear and surprise.
-
And ruthless efficiency...
-
Our three weapons are fear, surprise,
and ruthless efficiency...
-
and an almost fanatical
devotion to the Pope.
-
Our four... no...
-
amongst our weapons...
amongst our weaponry...
-
are such elements as fear, surprise...
-
I'll come in again.
-
I didn't expect
a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
-
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
-
Amongst our weaponry
are such diverse elements as
-
fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency,
-
and an almost fanatical devotion
to the Pope, and nice red uniforms
-
- Oh damn! I can't say it,
you'll have to say it. - What?
-
You'll have to say the bit about
'Our chief weapons are... '
-
I couldn't do that...
-
I didn't expect
a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
-
Nobody...
-
- Expects.
- Expects.
-
- Nobody expects the...
- Inquisition.
-
I know... I know!
-
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
In fact, those who do expect...
-
- Our chief weapons are...
- Our chief weapons are...
-
- Surprise...
- Surprise and...
-
Stop. Stop there! Stop there.
Whew!
-
Our chief weapon is surprise,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
-
Cardinal, read the charges.
-
You are hereby charged that you did on diverse
dates commit heresy against the Holy Church.
-
- My old man said...
- That's enough.
-
Now, how do you plead?
-
We're innocent.
-
We'll soon change your mind
about that!
-
Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless...
-
Now, Cardinal, the rack!
-
You...
Right!
-
Tie her down.
-
Right!
How do you plead?
-
- Innocent.
- Ha! Right!
-
Cardinal, give the rack
-
give the rack a turn.
-
I...
-
I know. I know you can't.
I didn't want to say anything.
-
I just wanted to try
and ignore your crass mistake.
-
- It makes it all seem so stupid.
- Shall I...?
-
Oh, go on, just pretend
for God's sake.
-
And this is the Spanish Inquisition
hiding behind the coal shed.
-
Oh! I didn't expect
a Spanish Inquisition.
-
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
-
Now, old woman!
-
You are accused of heresy on three counts.
-
Heresy by thought, heresy by word,
heresy by deed, and heresy by action.
-
Four counts.
-
Do you confess?
-
I don't understand what I'm accused of.
-
Ha! Then we shall make you understand.
-
Biggles!
-
Fetch... the cushions!
-
Here they are, lord.
-
Now, old lady, you have one last chance.
-
Confess the heinous sin of heresy,
reject the works of the ungodly
-
two last chances.
-
And you shall be free...
-
Three last chances.
-
You have three last chances,
the nature of which I have divulged
in my previous utterance.
-
I don't know what you're talking about.
-
Right! If that's the way you want it.
-
Cardinal! Poke her
with the soft cushions!
-
Confess! Confess! Confess!
-
It doesn't seem to be hurting her,
my lord.
-
- Have you got all the stuffing
up one end? - Yes, lord.
-
Hm! She is made of harder stuff!
-
Cardinal Fang!
-
Fetch... the comfy chair!
-
The comfy chair?
-
So you think you are strong because
you can survive the soft cushions.
-
Well, we shall see.
-
Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair!
-
Now. You will stay
in the Comfy Chair until lunch time,
-
with only a cup of coffee at eleven...
-
- Is that really all it is?
- Why, yes lord.
-
I see. I suppose we make it worse
by shouting a lot, do we?
-
Confess, woman.
-
Confess!
-
I confess!
-
Not you!
-
I confess.
-
Who was that?
-
Blimey! I didn't expect
the Spanish Inquisition.
-
Two, er, three to the Old Bailey
please.
-
- Look they've started the credits.
- Hurry. Hurry. Hurry.
-
There's the lighting credit,
only five left.
-
Hell, it's the producer - quick!
-
Nobody expects the Spa...
Oh bugger!
