Handling Strong Emotions | Thich Nhat Hanh 2000.06.09

Emotion is a very strong feeling.

And many people do not know
how to handle their feelings, their emotions.

They suffer so much they attempt to
commit suicide.

Because they believe that to die is
the only way to end the suffering.

So, a meditator is someone
who knows

how to handle
his or her feelings and emotions.

When the energy of the emotion
emerges,

they know right away what to do
in order to take care.

They don't have to fight
the emotion or the feeling.

They just invite
the energy of mindfulness

in order to
come and take care of the feelings.

Because they know mindfulness
is the Buddha, in the form of energy.

Mindfulness carries
concentration and insight,

having the power to relieve, to comfort,
to understand, to liberate.

The Buddha is within every cell.

And that is why
when the energy of suffering arises,

we should know
how to invite

the energy of the Buddha
to come and take care.

Breathing in,
I know the feeling of despair is in me.

Breathing out,
I know this is only one feeling.

And I'm much more than one feeling.

It's very important.

And every feeling is born,
stays for some time, and will go away.

Why do I have to die because of
one feeling?

Each one has to succeed in this practice.

It's very important.

We have to survive
our emotions, our feelings.

We have to go through the storm.

You should be equipped with the practice.

You should master the art of
mindful breathing, mindful sitting, mindful walking,

so that we can encounter
our strong emotions with ease.

We don't fight,

we are capable of embracing,
recognizing, and smiling to them.

This is possible.

Many generations of practitioners
have been able to do so.

We should be able to do so ourselves.

Whether in the sitting position,
or a walking position, or a lying position,

We should be able to handle
our emotions.

We cultivate our capacity of mindful breathing,
mindful smiling, and mindful embracing

our emotions and our feelings.

If you succeed, then you can
help many people,

especially the young people.

Too many young people kill themselves

because they don't know how to handle
their emotions.

The rate of suicide of young people in our time
is very high.

And you should be able to help them.

They are around you, all the time,
tempted to kill themselves.

Every time, they feel that they cannot
handle their emotions.

So every moment
that is given to us to live,

we can use it in order to practice

cultivating the energy of mindfulness,

the capacity of being
in the here and the now,

the capacity of recognizing,
embracing, and smiling

to whatever happens to us.

And within a sangha, it's very easy,

because everyone is supporting you
to do so.

Allow the sangha to embrace your despair.

[Bell]

You have pain in your heart.

You have suffering and ill-being
in your heart.

You come and sit close to the Buddha.

And after some time sitting
with the Buddha in silence,

you may say, "Dear Buddha,
I suffer."

That's what you should say.

You should tell him,
"Dear Buddha, I suffer."

Because the Buddha
may not be another person,

not having anything to do with you.

The Buddha may be just in yourself.

And talking to the Buddha
is very important.

Every one of us has the Buddha within.

And the Buddha, I can locate him,
he is in every cell of your body.

"Dear Buddha, I suffer."

And if you are attentive,
you'll hear him say,

"I know, show me your suffering,
so that I can see and embrace it."

And you show him your suffering,
your despair, your anguish.

And he will embrace.

You don't rely on you alone to
embrace your suffering.

You rely on the Buddha to embrace.

And the Buddha is there in every member
of your Sangha.

You have to behave like that
with your Sangha.

"Dear Sangha, I suffer."

You should be able to communicate
like that.

And your Sangha will say
with the same amount of compassion,

"Dear brother, dear sister,
show us your pain.

"Allow us to embrace your pain."

This is very comforting, very healing

when you have the Buddha to rely on,

when you have the Sangha to rely on.

Because they are Gems, they are Jewels,
the Three Jewels.

And with the practice,
you'll realize that

you are much stronger
than you have thought.

When you observe a tree,
standing in the storm,

or when you focus your attention on
the top of the tree,

you have the feeling that the tree
is going to be blown away.

The wind makes little branches and leaves
swing back and forth like that, with violence.

And you are afraid that the three
will be broken, blown away.

But if you direct your attention
to the trunk of the tree,

and if you are aware that the tree is
deeply-rooted in the soil,

you'll have another feeling.

You know that the tree
is going to stand.

Each of us is like a tree.

If we stay on the level of our brain,
or our heart,

we may feel that we are vulnerable,
breakable at any moment,

especially when the strong emotion
has come up like that.

We feel that we cannot handle.

But the Buddha advised us
in this critical moment,

don't stay on that level
of your tree.

Go down to the trunk.

And the trunk is here,
somehow a little bit lower than the navel.

The Chinese call it Dan Tien.

Focus your attention on this spot,

and begin to breath in and out,

and invest 100% of your attention

on the rise and fall of your abdomen.

Sit in a stable position,

because the stability of the body
helps with the stability of the mind.

Don't stay here, go down.

Enjoy breathing in and out,
with the awareness,

"This is only a storm, among many other storms,
that can go through my life.

"I have survived other storms,
this time, also, I can survive.

"A storm that is something that comes,
stays for some time, and will have to go.

"Why do I have to die because of that?"

It may be helpful if you write down these words
in a small sheet of paper,

and slide it into your wallet.

And when the storm comes,
just take it out, and breathe, and read.

And you'll know what to do.

That is a bell of mindfulness.

You can hear the voice of the Buddha,

you can hear the voice of your teacher,

just by reading this small piece of paper.

And you know how to sit down,

smile to your pain, your sorrow, your fear,
your despair, your strong emotions.

And after having succeeded
going through the difficult moment,

you have confidence,
(smiling, fist pumps)

you have confidence in the Dharma.

And you are no longer afraid.

Next time when it comes,
you'll know what to do,

how to do, and what not to do.
(smiling)

And then you are in the position
of helping the young people

because they don't know yet,

they don't know how to handle
their pain, and their emotion yet.

My recommendation is that
we shouldn't wait

until the strong emotion come
in order to begin the practice.

Because naturally, we will forget
the practice.

We have to practice right now
when the storm is not yet there.

And if we make it into a habit,

practicing something like three weeks,
and continue.

And then when the emotions come,
you suddenly remember to practice.

(It) should be made into a tradition,
a good habit.