Loving to be alone | Ep. 51

Ahh so nice...

Do you feel the sun Nanook?

This is wonderful.

Even though it's still to early for the sun to give any warmth

But, it's still the light, you know.

If you are really thirsty and you haven't had any water in a long time

and suddenly you have that first sip of water

This is almost the same feeling.

It's like your body really needs this so much.

You just want to take in every single sun ray.

Do you hear the birds?

*Swedish swearing*

(Trying to frame a painting with a slightly to small frame)

Oops

-Nope

So I just got some food for the deers.

Because we have...

...I think we have 5 deers in this village.

And since it's a really cold and hard winter

They struggle a lot to get food.

So I thought I would give them a little help.

I just read that during a really hard winter

About 40% of the deer population can die

because they starve to death.

And that is so terrible.

Mm the smell of this is so good!

So I have made 5 piles over there

And the rest I'm just going to save here.

*Searching for the right english translation*

I'm going to put a cover over this

So that I every day can go and take some more out.

When it's really cold outside it's like your lips freeze

And it becomes harder to talk.

All right I'm going to put some plastic over this.

(The deers made some beautiful patterns in the snow)

(Paint out of ash from the wood stove)

It is Saturday.

I was thinking I would go out and ski.

It's pretty warm outside today.

And it's snowing

And I feel like I need some exercise.

I want to get the blood rushing.

Oh, the camera...

The camera, the camera, the camera...

- Oh no!

Ok...I just feel like this day is a little bit uncomfortable.

Thats all...

I'm just trying to force myself to do something good out of it but...

I feel a little bit grumpy or something. I don't know.

Anyway, now I'm going to go out skiing.

And skiing is something that I'm still very new to.

So I don't know how it's going to go.

But it's really fun when it's good surface.

When it's not too heavy.

And Nanook is gone.

So I have to see if I can find him.

What a beautiful day!

I hope my camera is ok...

All right, see you in a bit.

This is nice.

I'm skiing on the tracks from a snow mobile.

That's really good actually.

I'm following Nanook's tracks.

Oh shit...

Ok now it starts to feel really good.

I'm getting into it, so to say.

This is a really nice track for skiing

Because it's very flat...

And there is perfect little downhills that are not too steep for me.

Nanook!

Nanook has escaped!

He went to the other side of the lake.

To another village.

But I think somebody is coming with a snow mobile to catch him in.

Now I see Nanook coming there.

There was someone who took a snow mobile to get him in the right direction.

I don't know who it is but if you see this: Thank you so much!

Nanook...

What are you doing?!

You can't run away from me like this!

Where have you been?

There is definitely some tracks here that he is very interested in.

Now I just want to go home!

We are on our way home now.

I'm exhausted.

You are making it so hard for me sometimes Nanook...

When you run away like that.

But he has always done that, ever since he was a puppy.

He has a lot of instinct.

I really wish I could just let him go free.

But he is always going to run away, now and then.

It's really beautiful in the forest.

And it's still so quiet.

Ya almost...

What's wrong now?

I think Nanook is having a grumpy day as well.

So now I think I'm just going back to the studio

And I'm going to make something to eat.

And just spend the rest of the day and the evening in the studio and paint.

He gets these snowballs in his fur.

It's heavy to carry around with these heavy snowballs.

(I have this strong curiosity/fear/fascination for extreme mountaineering and I watch all kinds of documentaries about it)

Are you tired now?

Are you super tired?

They are eating!

Oh I'm so happy!

(Nanook loves when I sing, dance or play an instrument)

What are you doing?

You are so weird!

Hello my loves!

How are you doing today?

If I look very tired today

Thats because I am very tired today.

I am so sleepy...

And I've felt so sleepy all day.

Nothing has helped. Not even coffee.

It's just one of these days when I just want to sleep.

I don't want to do anything else. I just want to sleep.

And I actually fell asleep on the floor here in my studio earlier.

because I was so sleepy that I just had to take a nap.

So I just took a pillow and a blanket...

And just slept for a few minutes.

And that was so nice.

I guess I'll just have to try my best to stay awake today.

And I really look forward to get some really good sleep tonight.

so I hopefully will feel more energized tomorrow.

Because tomorrow I got to get some shit done.

There is a new and exciting project that I'm going to start with.

That I will share with you in my next video I think.

But honestly it's been such a messy time in my life lately.

It's been so many things to deal with in my life and in my business.

So many new things and changes and decisions to take.

It's really been exhausting.

But I'm definitely on the other side of it now.

So things are getting better now.

And there is a lot of good things that will happen in the future.

But ya it's been quite a messy time

And I am sure that has to do with me feeling so tired today.

Because ya, it's just been a lot.

I don't really know how this video is going to turn out either.

I've just spent a few days now in my studio, working a lot during the days

With meetings and stuff...

And then I've just been painting

To try to relax a little bit and that has been really nice.

And of course I've been out in nature as much as I can.

But I thought that...

I wanted to end this video by just connecting with you a little bit.

And answer some questions.

I think that's a really good way to end my videos.

to answer some questions from the previous videos.

Because I always try my best to read all your comments

And I always see a lot of questions...

That I think is better to answer in a video than just to answer you in the comments.

Ok I have...

*Phone noise*

The first question is about an instrument

that I showed in an early video.

I think it was in a video from November.

There was a scene of me and Johan playing on this beautiful instrument

that we have in our living room.

And there were so many people that asked "What's the name of that instrument?"

And the thing is that...

Back then I had no idea because...

I got that instrument as a gift from someone.

They sent a package to me with this instrument.

I guess that the letter that was suppose to be with this package

had fallen out when the customs had opened the package.

Thats my only theory.

So I got this beautiful instrument sent to me

and I had no idea who had sent it to me.

But I was so thankful because it was such a beautiful instrument.

That's why we hanged it up in our living room, because we want to play on it every day.

But after I shared a scene with that instrument in my video

I got an email from the person who sent it to me.

And the person who actually made it/created it.

So his name is Michael and he lives in Ukraine.

And he makes a lot of special and beautiful instruments by hand.

And...

The instrument he sent to me is called "Daiva"

I'm not sure if I pronounce it right

But...Daiva...

It's a "Sound healing metallophone".

And I was so happy to finally get to know the name of the instrument.

And of course to know who sent it to me.

And Michael has his own Etsy shop.

Where you can buy his instruments.

So if you want to have a similar one or something else of his amazing instruments

You can find the link down below in this video.

If you have followed me here for a while you know that I love Etsy.

Because it's such a beautiful way of supporting small businesses.

And artists, and people who do their own crafts

And selling them online.

And it's from all over the world.

I love to buy my clothes on Etsy.

Because you can find these handmade linen clothing that I love.

And stuff like this.

Next question!

Or actually there are many questions but they are all the same.

On my previous video I got tons of questions about

If I'm not afraid of sleeping alone in my car

or traveling all by myself

You know when I go on my road trips, which I do quite often.

There is just a lot of questions regarding that subject of being alone

By myself on a roadtrip

And if I'm afraid of other people or wild animals.

First of all, Sweden is a very safe country compared to other countries in the world.

And since I've been living here my whole life

I see from my perspective, of course.

And I just can't see any danger in going on a road trip by myself.

There is nothing strange about that in our country.

But I do understand that in many other countries that is not something you would recommend

To go all by yourself somewhere in the car

But of course, even if Sweden is a very safe country

compared to other countries

That doesn't mean that there is never a risk to go all by yourself

I mean, it's always more safe to be two people or more.

But I also really love to be by myself.

I've never been afraid of being alone/by myself.

I'm a "lone wolf" as you call it.

And of course that helps alot.

Because I know a lot of people would maybe feel a bit unsecure being all by themself in a new place or something.

Which I totally understand.

But since I don't feel that...

I feel more happy and free when I'm all by myself.

That really helps a lot.

And also, I live in the North of Sweden.

And I always go more North if I'm going on a road trip.

I never go to the South of Sweden.

And if I were going to the South of Sweden and more to the cities where it's more people

I would not feel as safe...

If I was going to the city and sleep in my car

I would be afraid.

But going to nature...to places in the mountains

I just don't see any risk with that at all.

The more people the more dangerous.

And the less people the less dangerous.

At least that's how I feel.

And we don't really have the same problems with wild animals here in Sweden.

I mean, we have a lot of wild animals.

We have bears, wolfs, moose...

And ya, many different animals.

But they are not a problem.

My mom is calling. Sorry!

*Phone conversation*

Sorry about that!

So where were we?

And also I was going to say that

Here in Sweden we don't have the same problem with wild animals

That for example I know United States has with bears.

We have a lot of bears here in Sweden but they never seek the humans.

They never come to the villages for food or...

They are never a problem.

But I know that it's different in USA.

Because I've been in Yosemite National Park a few years ago.

And there the bears were a really big problem

because if you left any food in your car they would break in.

Ya there was just big problems with that.

So if I sleep alone in my car or in a tent here in Sweden

I would not even think about that a bear could come and search for food in my tent or in my car.

That would just never happen.

We don't have that problems here, which I am very thankful for.

Otherwise it would be a bigger risk to be all by yourself.

But I also want you to know that I am always as prepared as I can be

when I'm traveling by myself.

I always try my best to think about

what could happen and how I can prepare for that in the best way.

If something would happen, if I would hurt myself

Or if I would get lost or my car would break. I don't know.

I always try to prepare as much as I can

Because if I feel prepared for what could happen

Then I can feel more free and relax more.

My dog Nanook is snoring in the background.

I don't know if you can hear that?

Let's listen to him snore.

Nanook is actually sleeping on one of my little paintings.

That's so cute.

So I hope that you feel like you got a good answer to why I am traveling alone

And why I don't feel so afraid of sleeping alone in my car.

I really wish that all of you, wherever in the world you live

would feel safe being by yourself anywhere.

It breaks my heart to know that so many of you would never even think about going out/traveling by yourself

Because it would be too dangerous.

It just robs people of their freedom

Their rights to move freely and be a human and experience this world.

I mean...that freedom that I feel when I'm out all by myself

I just go anywhere I want and stop anywhere I want

And I don't think so much about if it's dangerous or not.

I wish everybody would feel that freedom.

Because that is truly happiness for me.

To be able to do that.

But I know that we are still far away from having a world where everyone feel free.

That's for sure...

Now it's 4 in the afternoon

So I think I'm going to go back home now and make some dinner with Johan.

I'm getting hungry.

And then tonight I'm going to start edit this video.

So thank you everybody for watching this messy video!

And also thank you for all your comments on my videos.

I can never thank you enough for that

for taking your time to write and share.

That's so beautiful.

Thank you.

Take care, and I see you soon.

And I love you!

Bye bye!