Self-Harm! Kati Morton -- Self-Harm and Eating Disorder Videos
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0:04 - 0:13So this week's video has to do with self-harm and how everyone around us responds to that
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0:13 - 0:22[Kati Morton - MFTI]
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0:22 - 0:26Now what I mean by this and what I'm kind of hoping to do this week
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0:26 - 0:30is just normalise your experience.
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0:30 - 0:35Because I know all the time, for all different veins, whether it is on my twitter account or youtube
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0:35 - 0:41or tumblr or on my website, I hear from everybody that, someone or something has either
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0:41 - 0:47made you feel like you are the only one that has this problem. They make you feel like a freak.
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0:47 - 0:54Or a weirdo or what you are doing is just so disgusting, 'ugh' and that just makes us feel worse
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0:54 - 1:01Right? Because nothing is worse than feeling like we don't fit in, what I'm experiencing is really weird,
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1:01 - 1:03nobodys heard of it before, nobody knows what to do
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1:03 - 1:06Nobody likes to feel that way, right?
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1:06 - 1:11And I'm here to tell you that you are not weird, that you are not alone.
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1:11 - 1:14This is not something that's unheard of, and you know who is saying that?
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1:14 - 1:18People that are uneducated and they should be ashamed of themselves.
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1:18 - 1:25As part of the professional world and therapy, doctors and psychiatrists, LSWS if any of you
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1:25 - 1:33see a social worker, part of our licensing every year we have to gather, and it depends on the licensing
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1:33 - 1:40how many hours, but roughly about 30-40 hours of continuing education.
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1:40 - 1:46You know what that says to me? I need to broaden what I know, right?
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1:46 - 1:51So when somebody says to you, if you are self-harming, 'woah, I don't deal with that, I don't
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1:51 - 1:56really know, ugh', that means they haven't broadened their knowledge.
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1:56 - 1:58That doesn't make you weird.
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1:58 - 2:06That means that they haven't learned and they are ignorant as to what is going on, okay?
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2:06 - 2:11But the first thing and the most important type of person that I want to talk about is our family,
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2:11 - 2:16and I will even lump in friends with it because it is those people that are really close to us
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2:16 - 2:23and kind of know us for who we are or who we were before this or maybe what happened to cause this.
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2:23 - 2:26They have all the information.
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2:26 - 2:31And in my experience, and I've been reading, I have been doing a lot of research about this, because I
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2:31 - 2:37want to make sure I'm gathering all the information. But, it sounds like, my experience is kind of what's
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2:37 - 2:44happening and what other peoples experiences are, and that is that family's first response is fright.
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2:44 - 2:51"Oh my gosh, I don't know what to do, oh my gosh, my kid" and they freak out, right?
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2:51 - 2:57But instead of just letting that happen internally and "okay, what do I need to know" and you know,
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2:57 - 3:00gathering that information, a lot of time that turns into anger.
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3:00 - 3:03So, they're scared and then they react angrily.
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3:03 - 3:05A lot of people say things, like parents I have heard say to some of my clients, like
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3:05 - 3:11"How could you do that to yourself, who would be so stupid as to hurt themselves", right?
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3:11 - 3:18And that is not coming from a place of love and care. That is coming from a place of misunderstanding.
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3:18 - 3:23They don't know, they don't understand what is going on and the worst thing to parents
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3:23 - 3:29and the hardest thing for me to ever get them to understand or to accept, is that one of their children
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3:29 - 3:34is showing signs of a mental disorder, a mental illness.
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3:34 - 3:39And that's kinda of why I'm even creating what I'm creating here, is to try and break through the stigma
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3:39 - 3:43of mental illness. It is not something to be scared about or angry about.
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3:43 - 3:47It is just something that needs to be understood, right?
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3:47 - 3:50So, if you have had that experience, if your parents have said things like
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3:50 - 3:55"How dare you, I can't believe you do that" and then get angry, or they even become almost narcissistic
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3:55 - 3:59"Like, what is this your way of making me feel guilty because I didididi..."
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3:59 - 4:03They might go into that kind of stream. Know that that's normal.
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4:03 - 4:09I know that doesn't make it okay and I know that the hurt is still there.
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4:09 - 4:13But know that is most common.
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4:13 - 4:18And that's really why we have to work together. Why I need you to share this, why I need you to comment.
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4:18 - 4:24Because we need to get a larger voice so that we can break through the stigma
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4:24 - 4:28and we can minimize that for people in the future
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4:28 - 4:36Because something, if I look back in history to like the 70s, when eating disorders were just becoming
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4:36 - 4:41more prevalent, people responded that way to them.
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4:41 - 4:47Anger, fright, it's like 'their weird', we don't know how to deal and although we still have a long ways to go,
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4:47 - 4:53with eating disorders we have come a long way. In the States, there are treatment centres all over.
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4:53 - 4:59This was unheard of in the 70s in the United States, this was like hospital treatment, tube fed.
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4:59 - 5:04That was it. There was no mental health help. They were not actually giving you any therapy or
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5:04 - 5:08working on the problem, they were just trying to refeed you as if that was all the problem was.
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5:08 - 5:13So, let's work together. Let's kind of cut this time down, right?
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5:13 - 5:17Because not everybody has to get that response.
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5:17 - 5:23So the next thing I want to talk about, so we have family and friends, and then I want to talk a little bit
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5:23 - 5:29about therapists and other professionals and how they might respond.
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5:29 - 5:36And I've had many clients come to me and say "yeah, I was referred to you from so-and-so because they
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5:36 - 5:41told me that they can't deal with me. They're...not in their scope of practice"
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5:41 - 5:46Or they'll use some type of term that therapists use to refer patients out.
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5:46 - 5:51And to be honest, from a therapy side, I am glad that people refer people out if they don't
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5:51 - 5:54have the knowledge, because nothings worse than having someone working with us,
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5:54 - 5:57when they don't really know what they're working on, right?
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5:57 - 6:02It can be kind of hard, like we are guiding our own treatment versus the opposite, right?
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6:02 - 6:06But, how does that make us feel?
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6:06 - 6:11I go into see somebody I finally got up the courage to call-in and I make an appointment, I sit there,
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6:11 - 6:18and then she tells me "oh I'm sorry, I don't deal with self-harm or cutting, I just don't.
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6:18 - 6:20I'm going to have to refer to you somebody".
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6:20 - 6:26It makes us feel like we are weird, like somethings wrong with us, and people don't know how to
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6:26 - 6:32handle and treat us. It comes along with a lot of those emotions and that's okay.
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6:32 - 6:33I would hate to feel that way.
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6:33 - 6:41It is the same thing I was just talking about with family and how people 'treat' it or not treat it, right?
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6:41 - 6:45And that's kind of been the experience of people.
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6:45 - 6:52In the media, they dramatise self-harm. They show the worst case scenario. And they make it this big deal.
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6:52 - 7:02"So-and-so does this everyday" (shock). People recoil and get bad, nasty faces and ugh
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7:02 - 7:06and they act like it's so horrible. It's not.
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7:06 - 7:11We watch, I mean I watch, I'll speak for myself, I watch like CSI and stuff.
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7:11 - 7:17I'm addicted to crime, mystery, solving the case. I love that stuff. But I watch that.
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7:17 - 7:21But then people are going to recoil when they see a small scratch or burn.
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7:21 - 7:29If I fell when I was a child I'm sure my Mum bandaged my knee. She didn't recoil and freak out, right?
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7:29 - 7:35So why are people doing that and I don't really like that media is dramatizing it
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7:35 - 7:42and turning it into this nasty thing, because there is nothing nasty about it, right?
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7:42 - 7:49So that's just something I want to talk about because I feel that a lot of us feel alone and you're not.
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7:49 - 7:54And a lot of us think we are the only ones experiencing this, the only one whose parents,
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7:54 - 8:01or therapist or teacher or the media, that we're the only ones that feel that.
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8:01 - 8:05And I'm here today to tell you that you are not.
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8:05 - 8:06You are not alone.
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8:06 - 8:10You don't have to go at this alone, okay?
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8:10 - 8:16So just, be prepared. Things like this may come up.
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8:16 - 8:20When you decide to finally tell people about it, know that there may be a bad response.
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8:20 - 8:23But how do we prepare, right? I always talk about preparation.
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8:23 - 8:27If any of you read my questions and answers, I'm always preparing people.
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8:27 - 8:30So, what do we do?
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8:30 - 8:34We need to know how we are going to respond if someone doesn't respond well.
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8:34 - 8:39What do we say? How do we get help anyways? How do we persevere?
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8:39 - 8:45We reach out, right? This whole community is filled with people struggling with the same thing.
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8:45 - 8:48Let's talk to one another. Let's support one another.
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8:48 - 8:54That is the best thing we can do right now because we are going to work together so as the years pass,
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8:54 - 9:03and as we keep fighting, other people coming before or dealing with this later on, don't have to go through this
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9:03 - 9:07You and I can make a difference and that's really what I'm here for
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9:07 - 9:13because we are working together towards a Healthy Mind and a Healthy Body.
- Title:
- Self-Harm! Kati Morton -- Self-Harm and Eating Disorder Videos
- Description:
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http://www.katimorton.com
This video is about how people around us can respond to our self-harm. I know that many of us have had a bad response with this and I am here to normalize that and even help many of us prepare to tell those people in our lives.
When it comes to friends, family and self-harm, they often respond out of fear and anger. Many parents will yell at us and ask us why we could possibly do this to ourselves, mainly because they are scared and don't understand. Also, it is really hard for parents to accept that their child may be struggling with a mental illness. So because they have their own issues with this, they can lash out. They may even try to make it about themselves and say things like "are you trying to make me feel guilty for divorcing your dad?" or anything of that nature.
When it comes to professionals, many will not work with self-harmers, or will refer us to someone else. By doing this they can make us feel weird or like freaks. But we are NOT! They should be ashamed of themselves for not expanding their knowledge each year and taking courses on things they are not informed about.
Lastly, their is the media and the hype that they have put behind self-harming. Many stations have covered stories on this topic or have had sit down interviews with Demi Lovato. They dramatize it and make it out to be something frightful and crude, when it is really just a cry for help. We watch many gruesome TV shows and movies, why is it so hard to look at a cut or burn?
So I am here to tell you that you are NOT alone! You are NOT a freak or someone who cannot get better!! We can all get better and we all WILL get better! We just need to share this information, and help move self-harm awareness to the next level! Our voice is powerful and we can change the way people respond to our struggles! So please keep working with me, as we continue striving for a Healthy Mind and a Healthy Body!
Kati Morton, MFTI
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/katimortonSubscribe to my channel:
https://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=katimortonPlaylist
Complete "Healthy Mind, Healthy Body!":
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_loxoCVsWqzvKjM9HCbL1sWxsWJSRLNKTypes of Eating Disorders:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_loxoCVsWqz_CKEMjHx8o-umO1TzzaDrEating Disorders Explained:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAB41960D35357E06Dietitian series:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_loxoCVsWqx8b27IXCAQNcpfMtcwmiXDSelf-Harm:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_loxoCVsWqxUuzhjHu7Ra_UyKd4tEde2Live Broadcasts:
httsp://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_loxoCVsWqxDKOXuVu3Uho-409fNOEAlKind words from you:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_loxoCVsWqxJnRXSOBkq1bKm6S8vUE_MHelp Techniques:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL14F50E070238DF4EMy other sites:
Website: https://www.katimorton.com
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/katimorton
Tumblr: https://www.katimorton.tumblr.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1Self-harm (SH), also referred to as self-injury (SI), self-inflicted violence (SIV), Non-Suicidal Self Injury (NSSI) or self-injurious behavior (SIB), refers to a spectrum of behaviors where demonstrable injury is self-inflicted.
- Video Language:
- English
- Duration:
- 09:23