CIRCLE UP PART 4

Part 4 encourages group members to be contributors to (not consumers of) community.

Hi, I'm Samer. I've been in a few
community groups through the years.

My experience in a couple of those groups
was drastically different.

As crazy as it sounds it wasn't the leader
nor the people that made the difference.

It was something I chose to do.
Here's what I mean.

I signed up for my first group
about 8 years ago.

Maybe some of you are in a group
for the first time right now.

To be honest, it wasn't something
I was excited about.

I showed up pretty regularly, but I didn't
think about group in between meetings.

For me, being in a group
was really about checking off that box.

It's what I was supposed to do.
For me, it was just the bare minimum.

While I was in the group, I never really
made an effort to be a part of the group.

I didn't talk to nor hang out with
the other guys outside of Tuesday nights.

And I definitely wasn't praying for them.

I was usually unprepared for the study and
just fake my way through the discussion.

Honestly, most weeks,
I just showed up, ate the snacks,

and rolled my eyes when the same guy
talked the whole time week after week.

It was fine, but I wouldn't say
I experienced much spiritual growth.

It pretty much stayed like that until one
night, our group leader got vulnerable.

He opened up and shared some things
he'd been struggling with as a single guy.

I remember that he got emotional,
which caught me off guard.

But something cool happened that night.
We all rallied around and prayed for him.

Well, our leader opening up
gave me the courage

to finally open up about my story
and some things I'd been dealing with.

I'm so glad I did because they encouraged,
prayed for, and supported me.

I started to see group
a little differently.

In fact, the temperature of our group
began to change in the best possible way.

We started connecting
and hanging out outside of Tuesday nights.

I began to regularly check in
with a few of the guys.

I was even a groomsman
at one of their weddings.

I eventually came to realize that
the problem was never my group. It was me.

So in each group I've been in since that
one, I decided to do things differently.

I decided to give it more effort.
I tried to get to know everyone.

I tried to remember
what was going on and ask about it.

I sent a text to one of the guys when he
had a big client presentation coming up.

We all helped when one of them
injured his knee and couldn't get around.

I stopped viewing group
as just something I did on Tuesday nights.

I spoke up during discussion
because I actually studied this time.

And we talked about real stuff.

By walking alongside them, I saw firsthand
what God was doing in their lives.

And you know what? That helped me
see what God was doing in my own life.

It was a way more
worthwhile group experience

because I started
taking personal ownership.

It made all the difference for me.
It'll do the same for you.

I'm not the only one
who has learned this.

We've seen it happen repeatedly. Ownership
is pivotal to a great group experience.

So, we want you to own your group
experience and own your spiritual growth.

Owning your group experience includes
all the things I got wrong the first time

and all the things
I got right the second time.

It means making group a priority. Be
engaged, take snacks, volunteer to host.

Get to know each other better,
even outside of group.

Those seem like small things, but they
create a space for life change to happen.

As Andy said in the first session,
there are things that happen in a circle

that can never happen
in a row on Sunday morning.

When great things happen like when
someone gets a new job or has a baby,

or when hard times happen...

When someone gets a scary diagnosis
or hits hard times financially.

Those things don't come up
in a Sunday church service.

When you're in a circle, you have
a chance to be there for each other.

To take dinner, send texts,
and offer support

because you know
what's happening in each other's lives.

Getting involved is what
owning your group experience looks like.

It will take time and effort, and it may
be awkward at first, but it's worth it.

If you make the effort,
I think you'll find the same thing I did.

Your group experience
will be so much more worthwhile.

The other piece of ownership
is owning your spiritual growth.

Here's the bad news:
no one can do this for you.

Here's the good news: no one can do this
for you. You own your spiritual growth.

Your group members and leader
will encourage and support you,

but the growth you experience
doesn't depend solely on you,

on how well
everything goes with everyone else,

how smart your leader is,
or even the studies you use.

Remember, spiritual growth
is a growing faith in God

validated by a growing love
for God and others.

Spiritual growth will come from
identifying and taking next steps

with the help of your group.

When I opened up to my group about what
would've been more comfortable to hide,

they were able to step into it with me.

They gave me advice,
held me accountable,

and pointed out that the circumstance
really could grow my faith.

You know what? It did! The relationships
in my group have helped me to grow.

And I've been able to help others, too.

I've watched guys admit and conquer
something they've been struggling with.

I've listened as someone figured out
how to be a Christian at a ruthless job.

I've even seen a couple
celebrate an answered prayer

and welcome home a new baby.

The crazy thing is helping other people
grow their faith grows yours, too.

I think that was
part of God's design for us.

It's why we're so glad
you have taken the step into community.

The relationships in your group may be new
but they are intentional relationships.

You each chose to be a part of this group.

Make the most of that choice

by really owning your group experience
and your spiritual growth.

I didn't realize it back then,
but the spiritual growth I missed out on

in my first group experience
wasn't my group's fault.

It had nothing to do with our leader.
It was on me.

I was encouraged to show up,
join in, and be real.

I showed up most of the time,
but I never really joined in.

I never really risked being real.

Now that I've started doing those things,
I see the benefits

and truly understood why
life is really better connected.

Taking ownership can make
all the difference for you.

Owning your group experience
starts with some pretty small steps,

like taking snacks
or hosting group at your house.

In today's discussion,
you'll have the chance

to think about the specific ways
you'd like to be involved.

Your group may even want
to start dividing up some of these tasks.

Think about what you're good at
or passionate about, then volunteer.

A piece of your discussion
will also revolve around

what we like to call
"The Group Agreement".

If you're going to own
this group experience together,

it's important that you're
all on the same page

about the purpose of the group, when you
meet, and what happens at those meetings.

Clear expectations are key
to starting your group well.

And "The Group Agreement"
will help you do that.

In your group, you can expect
to see the same people every week.

It's important
not to add anyone to the group,

or take guests
without everyone agreeing on it first.

If group is a revolving door of people
you don't know, it's harder to be real.

We're not trying to be closed off
to others joining the group,

but we are trying to build a community
based on authentic relationships.

Another important aspect of the agreement
is setting an end date for your group.

It's important to have an end date

so you all know how long
you're committing to this group.

These are just a couple of examples of
expectations you'll walk through together.

Since the whole point of your discussion
is to get everyone on the same page,

your leader will walk the group
through "The Group Agreement".

If you disagree with something,
ask to discuss it more.

Listen to others' perspectives
and offer your own.

Make sure that, by the time
you finish the conversation,

you're all in agreement about the who,
what, when, where, and why of your group.

Now that we've come
to the end of this study,

we are so thankful that
you have chosen to join this group.

We believe circles
really are better than rows

because this circle
and these people

have the potential
to become a real community.

One that supports and encourages you
as your relationship with Jesus grows.

Thank you for letting us
help you to circle up.