Hi, I'm Samer. I've been in a few community groups through the years.
My experience in a couple of those groups was drastically different.
As crazy as it sounds it wasn't the leader nor the people that made the difference.
It was something I chose to do. Here's what I mean.
I signed up for my first group about 8 years ago.
Maybe some of you are in a group for the first time right now.
To be honest, it wasn't something I was excited about.
I showed up pretty regularly, but I didn't think about group in between meetings.
For me, being in a group was really about checking off that box.
It's what I was supposed to do. For me, it was just the bare minimum.
While I was in the group, I never really made an effort to be a part of the group.
I didn't talk to nor hang out with the other guys outside of Tuesday nights.
And I definitely wasn't praying for them.
I was usually unprepared for the study and just fake my way through the discussion.
Honestly, most weeks, I just showed up, ate the snacks,
and rolled my eyes when the same guy talked the whole time week after week.
It was fine, but I wouldn't say I experienced much spiritual growth.
It pretty much stayed like that until one night, our group leader got vulnerable.
He opened up and shared some things he'd been struggling with as a single guy.
I remember that he got emotional, which caught me off guard.
But something cool happened that night. We all rallied around and prayed for him.
Well, our leader opening up gave me the courage
to finally open up about my story and some things I'd been dealing with.
I'm so glad I did because they encouraged, prayed for, and supported me.
I started to see group a little differently.
In fact, the temperature of our group began to change in the best possible way.
We started connecting and hanging out outside of Tuesday nights.
I began to regularly check in with a few of the guys.
I was even a groomsman at one of their weddings.
I eventually came to realize that the problem was never my group. It was me.
So in each group I've been in since that one, I decided to do things differently.
I decided to give it more effort. I tried to get to know everyone.
I tried to remember what was going on and ask about it.
I sent a text to one of the guys when he had a big client presentation coming up.
We all helped when one of them injured his knee and couldn't get around.
I stopped viewing group as just something I did on Tuesday nights.
I spoke up during discussion because I actually studied this time.
And we talked about real stuff.
By walking alongside them, I saw firsthand what God was doing in their lives.
And you know what? That helped me see what God was doing in my own life.
It was a way more worthwhile group experience
because I started taking personal ownership.
It made all the difference for me. It'll do the same for you.
I'm not the only one who has learned this.
We've seen it happen repeatedly. Ownership is pivotal to a great group experience.
So, we want you to own your group experience and own your spiritual growth.
Owning your group experience includes all the things I got wrong the first time
and all the things I got right the second time.
It means making group a priority. Be engaged, take snacks, volunteer to host.
Get to know each other better, even outside of group.
Those seem like small things, but they create a space for life change to happen.
As Andy said in the first session, there are things that happen in a circle
that can never happen in a row on Sunday morning.
When great things happen like when someone gets a new job or has a baby,
or when hard times happen...
When someone gets a scary diagnosis or hits hard times financially.
Those things don't come up in a Sunday church service.
When you're in a circle, you have a chance to be there for each other.
To take dinner, send texts, and offer support
because you know what's happening in each other's lives.
Getting involved is what owning your group experience looks like.
It will take time and effort, and it may be awkward at first, but it's worth it.
If you make the effort, I think you'll find the same thing I did.
Your group experience will be so much more worthwhile.
The other piece of ownership is owning your spiritual growth.
Here's the bad news: no one can do this for you.
Here's the good news: no one can do this for you. You own your spiritual growth.
Your group members and leader will encourage and support you,
but the growth you experience doesn't depend solely on you,
on how well everything goes with everyone else,
how smart your leader is, or even the studies you use.
Remember, spiritual growth is a growing faith in God
validated by a growing love for God and others.
Spiritual growth will come from identifying and taking next steps
with the help of your group.
When I opened up to my group about what would've been more comfortable to hide,
they were able to step into it with me.
They gave me advice, held me accountable,
and pointed out that the circumstance really could grow my faith.
You know what? It did! The relationships in my group have helped me to grow.
And I've been able to help others, too.
I've watched guys admit and conquer something they've been struggling with.
I've listened as someone figured out how to be a Christian at a ruthless job.
I've even seen a couple celebrate an answered prayer
and welcome home a new baby.
The crazy thing is helping other people grow their faith grows yours, too.
I think that was part of God's design for us.
It's why we're so glad you have taken the step into community.
The relationships in your group may be new but they are intentional relationships.
You each chose to be a part of this group.
Make the most of that choice
by really owning your group experience and your spiritual growth.
I didn't realize it back then, but the spiritual growth I missed out on
in my first group experience wasn't my group's fault.
It had nothing to do with our leader. It was on me.
I was encouraged to show up, join in, and be real.
I showed up most of the time, but I never really joined in.
I never really risked being real.
Now that I've started doing those things, I see the benefits
and truly understood why life is really better connected.
Taking ownership can make all the difference for you.
Owning your group experience starts with some pretty small steps,
like taking snacks or hosting group at your house.
In today's discussion, you'll have the chance
to think about the specific ways you'd like to be involved.
Your group may even want to start dividing up some of these tasks.
Think about what you're good at or passionate about, then volunteer.
A piece of your discussion will also revolve around
what we like to call "The Group Agreement".
If you're going to own this group experience together,
it's important that you're all on the same page
about the purpose of the group, when you meet, and what happens at those meetings.
Clear expectations are key to starting your group well.
And "The Group Agreement" will help you do that.
In your group, you can expect to see the same people every week.
It's important not to add anyone to the group,
or take guests without everyone agreeing on it first.
If group is a revolving door of people you don't know, it's harder to be real.
We're not trying to be closed off to others joining the group,
but we are trying to build a community based on authentic relationships.
Another important aspect of the agreement is setting an end date for your group.
It's important to have an end date
so you all know how long you're committing to this group.
These are just a couple of examples of expectations you'll walk through together.
Since the whole point of your discussion is to get everyone on the same page,
your leader will walk the group through "The Group Agreement".
If you disagree with something, ask to discuss it more.
Listen to others' perspectives and offer your own.
Make sure that, by the time you finish the conversation,
you're all in agreement about the who, what, when, where, and why of your group.
Now that we've come to the end of this study,
we are so thankful that you have chosen to join this group.
We believe circles really are better than rows
because this circle and these people
have the potential to become a real community.
One that supports and encourages you as your relationship with Jesus grows.
Thank you for letting us help you to circle up.