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Gangaji - Still In Awareness

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    Still in Awareness
    Compilation of Talks 2004
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    The most sublime truth of all has never been
    stated or sung or written.
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    Not because it is far away and can't be reached but because it is so intimately close, because it is closer
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    than anything that can be spoken.
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    It is truly alive as the stillness in the
    core of your being, not my being or her being
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    or his being, your being, alive in the stillness
    that is the core of your being.
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    It is too close to be described, too close
    to be objectified, too close to be known in
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    the way that we think of knowing as knowledge,
    as objects.
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    But it is yours already. It's already present.
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    The only reason that I have appeared in your
    consciousness is to simply confirm that.
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    I truly have nothing to teach you. You probably know more than I do anyway.
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    There have been plenty of teachers who have
    taught exquisite and true and useful codes
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    of conduct, methods of meditation, ways of
    living in the world, ways of manifesting in
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    the world but what this appearance that is
    called “Gangaji” is, in your consciousness
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    is simply a pointing to the stillness that
    is alive in the core of your being,
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    and an invitation to turn your attention to that,
    to let that live your life, to give your questions
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    to that, to give your answers to that, your
    failures, your successes, your form, your
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    formlessness, your action, your inaction,
    your choice, your choicelessness, all,
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    to give it back where it came from, back before
    creation.
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    This is possible only because you are that
    stillness.
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    It would be impossible regardless of the intention
    or the effort, if you were who you think you are.
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    Who you think you are is by the very nature
    of thought limited.
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    So however grandiose that thought may be, it's
    still limited.
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    But who you are has never been spoken, is
    closer than you can know.
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    Who you are is where it all is.
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    ***
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    I’m far from being still.
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    You’re far from being still.
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    How do you know that?
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    Who told you that?
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    I feel that.
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    Okay, there is a feeling and the interpretation
    of that feeling, since a feeling is agitated,
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    is that what you mean?
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    The feeling is agitated so then there is a
    conclusion that therefore I am agitated.
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    And maybe there is a mental agitation that
    goes along with that so that’s further proof,
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    “I am agitated."
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    But I am here to tell you that you are still.
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    And this agitation is in your body perhaps,
    in your emotions perhaps, in your mind perhaps,
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    in the elements perhaps, but you are the awareness
    that recognizes the agitation.
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    You follow this?
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    There’s agitation.
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    Can there be recognition of that agitation
    without some awareness of that agitation?
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    No.
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    Right, It’s simple isn’t it?
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    Is the awareness of the agitation agitated?
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    (laughter)
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    Yes, it bears checking.
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    Just take a moment to check.
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    Is agitation…
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    I understand...a lot of agitation.
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    And there's awareness of that agitation.
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    Is awareness agitated?
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    No
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    That’s right. (laughter)
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    Awareness is still, Isn’t it?
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    Yes.
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    I say to you, you are that awareness.
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    Agitation comes and goes, calmness comes and
    goes, awareness is eternal.
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    It is eternally still.
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    You are that.
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    You can’t catch it with your mind.
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    Yes, because the mind just gets agitated further
    in trying to catch it.
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    Let the mind do its thing, it doesn’t matter.
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    You are the awareness of the mind’s agitation.
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    You are what is already still.
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    I just don't believe it.
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    It’s not a question of believing it.
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    Don’t believe it. Don't believe it.
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    I don’t want you to believe it.
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    I want you to investigate and see for yourself,
    is this true or is this just another belief.
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    In your life moments of agitation have appeared
    and disappeared.
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    Right?
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    You have not been agitated every second of
    your life.
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    Maybe a majority, I don’t know.
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    But that is the way it is with certain nervous
    systems.
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    They vary like plants vary, you know.
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    Patterns of weather vary in human beings.
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    Certain nervous systems experience or generate
    more agitations than others.
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    The awareness of that agitation that has never
    come and gone.
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    That's always been present.
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    And it has always been still.
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    The dilemma and the suffering comes out of
    misidentification of your Self as your body
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    which can be agitated or sick or in pain,
    or your mind which can be spinning or calm
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    or confused rather than the awareness of all
    of that.
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    Okay. What happens when I get almost overwhelmed
    with feelings?
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    Aha.
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    What gets almost overwhelmed with feelings?
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    My body
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    Your body, now, does the awareness of that
    get overwhelmed?
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    Check it out be sure
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    Okay
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    I’m willing to go on but I want us to stop
    along the way because if we can nip the misidentification
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    in the bud.
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    I get a feeling that it happens in my body
    and then I go Okay, I’m angry or upset and
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    it’s so overwhelming that I think my mind
    will just go…
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    Yes it’s overwhelming to the nervous system,
    right?
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    The awareness, just for now, just for checking
    it out- Has the awareness of that gone anywhere
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    or gotten agitated or been diminished
    or overwhelmed in the slightest? (pause)
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    It is very good you’re taking time
    to look.
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    Yes.Take time to see this.
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    Î don’t want you to accept it because I
    say so, don’t do that.
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    I feel like there is a little fight that goes
    on in my head...
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    A little fight, there is a big fight.
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    Yes there is a fight.
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    The mind is fragmented isn’t it?
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    Into the good guys and the bad guys and the
    mediators (laughs)
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    But the awareness of all that, is there any
    split there?
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    No
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    You are doing very very well, your are telling
    the truth.
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    So the very fact that you are willing to tell
    the truth even though you are experiencing
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    the suffering of this situation means that
    your interest is more in truth than in this
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    identification of yourself as this body.
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    This is excellent, excellent sign, you can believe
    that.
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    Now throughout time, conditioned existence
    has been taught, so you have to learn that
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    you are your body.
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    And that learning gets translated into thoughts
    and then you have to learn you are being a
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    bad body because you are in pain or you're agitated,
    “and stop that you bad girl, slap, slap”.
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    And then another part fragments off and says “I’ll
    stop it when I feel like stopping it.
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    Leave me alone bam, bam” And this is what
    goes on in your mind, right.
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    I am not a mind reader This is what goes on.
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    This is what goes on in individual minds and
    goes on in the collective mind.
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    In the collective mind we witness it as wars,
    religious wars, or political wars or genocidal
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    wars but it is the same mind at war with itself.
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    One side of the fragmentation of mind deciding
    the other side has to go.
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    No room for it here.
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    And the identification and the suffering in
    that or the self-righteousness in that.
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    But the point here is there is an awareness of
    this war that is not at war.
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    That is peace itself.
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    And that is your soul.
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    There is an opportunity at this moment in
    your lifetime to align yourself with your
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    soul rather than these warring factions of your
    mind.
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    I'm not saying the war will immediately end.
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    I'm saying if you align yourself with your
    soul, the war won’t be empowered.
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    They'll run out of provisions.
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    There may be clashes but the war’s steam
    will have finished because your central attention
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    has shifted to its source, which is awareness
    itself, vast limitless awareness.
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    Peace, stillness has shifted to who you are,
    not who you thought you were.
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    Who you thought or think you are is only a
    thought in your mind.
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    It comes and it goes.
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    It changes, it mutates, it likes, it says
    that you are a good one day and bad the next day.
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    The awareness doesn’t change, doesn’t
    move, radiates the presence of love, regardless
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    of the thought ” I am bad or I am good' irrelevant in the
    face of this awareness.
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    And somehow you know it.
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    Now, I understand the suffering.
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    And I don’t want to trivialize the suffering
    or dismiss the suffering as nonexistent.
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    I mean, it is but I don’t want to dismiss
    it as that. (laughter)
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    Yes, I want to wait until you do that.
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    Then we will laugh together.
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    Because there's a weight there and an identification
    there and am not asking that you now layer
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    on top of that identification another identification
    called “ I am awareness”.
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    'Cause then they are just stacked, you know, and
    you can walk around saying “I am awareness”,
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    and smiling and laughing and then four o’clock
    in the morning “oh yeah” comes up (laughter)
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    because it's just another belief.
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    But if it’s not a belief but in fact a direct
    experience then what ever arises in whatever
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    time of day or night, you can investigate
    the truth, “Has awareness been diminished by this?
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    What is the separation between me and awareness?
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    Do you find one, a separation between you
    and awareness.?
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    I do now
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    At the moment because you identify yourself
    as a body separate form awareness but awareness
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    is here always and this body comes and goes.
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    Even in a day, I’m not even speaking about
    deep sleep now, but in a day aren’t there moments
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    when you are not aware if your body?
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    Yeah, you're aware of other things, yes, or you're aware of spacing out, yes, aware of daydreaming,
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    aware of working intently focused, aware of dancing, aware of liking something, aware of not liking
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    Oh, then aware of the body, aware of the heartbeat,
    aware of the breath- back and forth- the constant
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    in that is awareness.
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    Yes, yes, this is it. You've caught it.
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    When you recognize this, then you can explore
    awareness with awareness, and then you see,
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    “does it have a boundary? Is it a thing?
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    Is it limited?”
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    Then you recognize “we’ what we call ourselves
    are all in awareness.
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    There is awareness here, aware of awareness
    here and differences in the form “here and here”
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    but the same radiant, simply, absolute
    awareness.
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    Yes, I see you catch it.
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    Its beautiful, your willingness to tell the
    truth, your willingness to be exposed, to
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    investigate, to be free.
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    Yes, and amazingly awareness, even though it doesn’t
    have attributes of beauty, is beauty.
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    Even though it's untouched by good or bad,
    it is radiantly good.
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    Is God itself.
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    Because in truth, God has never left the soul.
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    I'm very happy to see you see your Self.
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    There may be moments…
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    Expect moments to come where self-doubt or
    agitation will once more say, “No you're mine.
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    This life is mine.
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    That's all right, you just stop and tell the
    truth.
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    “Has awareness left?
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    Has awareness changed?
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    Is awareness at peace?
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    It's not forcing your mind to be at peace
    or forcing your body to stop suffering.
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    It is just telling the truth.
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    And then the mind naturally unwinds.
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    The body naturally comes to a place of equilibrium
    or not.
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    It doesn’t matter because the truth is being
    told.
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    and the truth is primary.
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    (instrumental music playing)
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    So there is a certain point where you tell
    the truth.
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    And this point is now, obviously.
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    And that’s why we meet.
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    We meet in the spirit of truth.
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    We meet to surrender to truth.
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    The mysterious force that has already appeared
    in your life and said,
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    “Come here, come home, rest, be still”.
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    That is what meditation is.
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    That's what practices are, what prayer is.
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    That is what rituals are.
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    But Papaji’s invitation is, not really a
    prayer, it is certainly not a ritual.
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    It is not a meditation.
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    It is not a practice.
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    It's the immediacy of right here, right now,
    stopping, looking for anything.
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    Being still, not working on being still, or
    working to keep stillness (soft laugh).
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    Being still is being who you are, not cultivating
    stillness or being bigger in your stillness.
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    Being who you are is being still.
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    Being who you think you are is your lack of
    surrender to being who you are.
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    “Well, this is just who I am.
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    You just have to love me as I am”.
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    That’s who you think you are and it is not
    lovable (laughter).
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    You have to face it.
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    And it never will be.
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    It may be cute or not cute but it is not lovable.
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    Who you are is lovable.
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    'Cause who you are is love.
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    Plain and simple, That's the truth.
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    All the rest is some resistance to that or
    denial of that or searching for that. It's all the same.
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    (instrumental music)
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    And where I’m at now is, there's been kind
    of awareness of the story.
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    And then going back into the story and the
    awareness of the story and then going back
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    into the story.
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    Does the awareness go back into the story?
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    No
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    What goes in and out of the story?
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    'Cause it's so great you can say “no”
    immediately.You know it is not the awareness.
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    You are aware of something. Yes.
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    Going in the story and going out of the
    story.
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    This is excellent, excellent.
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    What is it that goes in and out?
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    The awareness becomes aware of itself and
    I’m aware of the awareness
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    As awareness
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    And then I’m me again.
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    And where is awareness in that moment of “meness”?
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    Forgetting itself?
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    What’s aware of forgetting?
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    Oh yes.
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    Yes. You see what happens, is because the mind,
    as we have been speaking here in the last
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    few days, is so brilliant, so awesome, awareness
    itself becomes an object.
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    So I was speaking no form but you can then kind of have
    this amorphous “oh awareness”
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    and so of course that's subject to appearance and disappearance.
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    But the awareness of that awareness that comes
    and goes does not disappear.
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    “Me” appears in it, the sense of “meness”,
    the physical, emotional, mental sense of individual
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    nervous system taking in individual processing
    of information.
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    That appears and disappears as does that notion
    of awareness appear and disappear.
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    But there is pure awareness that cannot be
    notioned.
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    When you say forgetting, you are forgetting
    some 'thing'.
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    You know there's a problem with this phrase
    about self-remembering, as there's a problem
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    with any phrase that is spoken and then gets
    taken out of context and gets worshipped and then
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    people have to "self-remember”.
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    But you cannot remember your Self.
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    It is impossible, because you're not a thing
    that is an object that can be stored in a memory bank.
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    You can remember a notion of your self or
    an experience of your self or an idea of your self.
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    Just like you remember your name.
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    Every morning when you wake up, you have to
    remember your name again.
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    It’s quick because you’ve practiced it.
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    But there is an instant where you have no name
    and you remember it.
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    And so we assume we can do that with the
    truth of who we are.
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    You cannot.
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    If you recognize and are willing to recognize that you cannot remember your self, the truth of your self,
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    Then immediately you will see that you also can’t
    forget it.
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    It’s not subject to being remembered or
    forgotten, because it is not an object.
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    Did everybody here that?
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    Who you are is not subject to being remembered
    or forgotten.
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    So give up remembering your self.
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    This is worse than a useless activity.
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    It's the carrot again. It's an image of yourself.
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    It's like awareness, or bliss or emptiness.
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    But now this bliss, and awareness and emptiness
    has a boundary had a birth, subject to change
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    and a death.
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    Forget it.
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    Save yourself some trouble.
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    Forget it, then you can see what is out of
    the bounds of memory, what cannot be forgotten,
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    cannot be remembered, cannot be denied.
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    Cannot be found and cannot be escaped.
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    This idea “I will find it or I will remember
    it or I will keep it”
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    This is an idea of you as a thing, walking
    around like a little stick figure, going after "It".
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    This is all in your mind.
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    Forget it.
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    Forget it.
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    This is what Papaji means when he says, “Give
    up the search."
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    And we think, "Oh, he couldn't really mean 'give up the search'.
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    He means that metaphorically or poetically,
    not really give up the search “.
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    Yes, give it up.
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    Give up the search.
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    You give up the search, you give up the seeker.
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    You give up this little stick figure in your
    mind or this fleshy wonderful, godlike creature.
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    And see what is here.
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    It’s the same as dying.
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    Only it's dying consciously before the body
    dies.
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    (instrumental music)
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    A word that I hear often, when I suggest or
    demand that someone stop or be still or tell
  • 28:37 - 28:44
    the truth is “trying”, “I’m trying
    to. I’m trying to”.
  • 28:44 - 28:45
    Do you know this word?
  • 28:45 - 28:47
    Do you use this word sometimes?
  • 28:47 - 28:55
    “I’m trying to." And this is a big trap.
  • 28:55 - 29:05
    In using this word “trying”, what it usually
    means is “I’m trying to do that”.
  • 29:05 - 29:10
    And so the trying is the effort around doing.
  • 29:10 - 29:19
    But really telling the truth or being still
    or stopping is much simpler than doing anything.
  • 29:19 - 29:30
    And so once there's a trying involved there's tension, different from focus is tension.
  • 29:30 - 29:39
    Because you can’t quite find how to do it
    and many people ask me, “But how, but how?"
  • 29:39 - 29:46
    That’s really looking for some model, or some
    picture, or some image and it is much simpler,
  • 29:46 - 29:49
    It's much closer to home.
  • 29:49 - 29:54
    You may ask “how to be”
  • 29:55 - 29:59
    but you already are.
  • 29:59 - 30:10
    So if you'll stop trying to be, there's an expanse
    that opens up of beingness, or rather there
  • 30:10 - 30:14
    is an expanse of recognition of beingness.
  • 30:14 - 30:19
    But the trying is covering because of the
    tension and contraction of energy.
  • 30:19 - 30:23
    “I want it." I have to get it. "How do I do it?””
  • 30:23 - 30:27
    I’m trying to do it." Just stop. “Okay, how do I stop?'
  • 30:27 - 30:36
    So you can see the dilemma in speaking about
    this because language itself is already one
  • 30:36 - 30:43
    step out from what is closest in.
  • 30:43 - 30:51
    The simple fact of being, it takes no trying.
  • 30:51 - 30:59
    So I really want you to understand that I
    am not talking about changing your behavior.
  • 30:59 - 31:05
    There is a natural appropriateness of behavior
    that there is nothing wrong with.
  • 31:06 - 31:10
    The way you speak to your parents, the way
    you speak to your children, the way you speak
  • 31:10 - 31:13
    to your friends, the way you speak to the
    desk clerk, the way you drive your car.
  • 31:13 - 31:17
    This is just appropriate behavior that gets learned.
  • 31:17 - 31:27
    But deeper inside, there is often a tension in trying to be something that that behavior says you are.
  • 31:28 - 31:39
    Trying to be a good person, trying to be brilliant and the fear is if I don’t’ try to be I will be the reverse of that.
  • 31:39 - 31:49
    I will be a bad person. I will be a stupid person, trying to
    be of worth or I'll be a worthless person,
  • 31:49 - 31:54
    trying to be enlightened or I will live in hell and ignorance.
  • 31:55 - 32:02
    And so, of course, what has to be faced sooner
    or later and the suggestion of this message
  • 32:03 - 32:12
    from Ramana and from Papaji is that sooner is right
    now, is that which is being avoided.
  • 32:12 - 32:17
    Ramana gives us the example with facing death.
  • 32:17 - 32:21
    It’s all about facing death, all of it.
  • 32:21 - 32:27
    But our mind fragments death into lots of
    little mini deaths like being worthless or being
  • 32:27 - 32:35
    no good or being condemned to ignorance or
    hell.
  • 32:39 - 32:48
    So in this moment, if you aren't trying to be any thing or any body or any where or any way
  • 32:50 - 32:59
    Who are you? What are you? What is here?
  • 33:00 - 33:07
    If you aren't trying to be some place, where
    are you?
  • 33:09 - 33:15
    If you aren't trying to be, are you?
  • 33:20 - 33:33
    It's possible you can at least glimpse the
    extraneous energy and unnecessary suffering
  • 33:33 - 33:42
    which is the attention of your lifespan which
    may be over today or tomorrow or in a year
  • 33:42 - 33:53
    or ten years, who knows? But the attention of your lifespan is spent unnecessarily, extraneously.
  • 33:59 - 34:09
    So the question, “Where is your attention?”
    is the same as “What are you trying to be?”
  • 34:09 - 34:11
    "Who are you trying to be?”
  • 34:11 - 34:16
    "What are you trying to escape?”
  • 34:18 - 34:26
    Which is the same as, "Who are you, really?"
  • 34:26 - 34:34
    (instrumental music)
  • 34:34 - 34:36
    How do I stop the obsession?
  • 34:36 - 34:44
    Oh, this is beautiful, this is the question "How do I stop the obsession? Yes, this is a true question.
  • 34:50 - 35:00
    The real question behind that, the question,
    “How do I obsess?’ can be seen.
  • 35:00 - 35:11
    The how to stop the obsessing cannot be seen
    because stopping…Do you get this?
  • 35:11 - 35:18
    But what can be seen is how the refusal to
    stop and its justifications and it’s tangents
  • 35:18 - 35:26
    and it’s sophistication, and it’s cynicism,
    how it plays itself based on desires and hopes
  • 35:26 - 35:41
    and fears but what is already stopped within you?
  • 35:45 - 35:50
    Everything, it's...I don’t know. I don't know.
  • 35:50 - 36:01
    So when you make that statement, “I don’t
    know," there's awareness of that statement.
  • 36:01 - 36:05
    Is that awareness moving in any direction?
  • 36:05 - 36:07
    No.That’s right.
  • 36:10 - 36:18
    So the secret really is that
    when you stop, you stop identifying with the
  • 36:18 - 36:22
    movement and you identify with awareness.
  • 36:22 - 36:26
    I'm not speaking of observer and observed.
  • 36:26 - 36:33
    I’m speaking of the awareness of the observer
    and the observed, in which both the observer
  • 36:33 - 36:38
    and the observed appear.
  • 36:38 - 36:44
    So already you are stopped.
  • 36:44 - 36:49
    And so when I say “stop” you are already
    stopped.
  • 36:49 - 36:54
    You are already awareness.
  • 36:54 - 37:02
    Attention is gathered, stop to what already
    is at peace,
  • 37:03 - 37:08
    where fulfillment is already.
  • 37:11 - 37:23
    Yes, you see that. This is the beauty, how
    simply and really easily it can be seen.
  • 37:23 - 37:33
    With that beauty there is a tragedy, how easily
    it is turned from, how easily it is trivialized,
  • 37:33 - 37:50
    given up, dismissed, denied, ignored but the
    ease is not diminished by the turning.
  • 37:50 - 38:00
    So still within you, however many times your
    mind has turned from this, simple and radiant truth,
  • 38:00 - 38:23
    there is the welcome, there is the
    invitation, home, right now.
  • 38:33 - 38:35
    Thank you
  • 38:35 - 38:37
    You are very welcome.
  • 38:37 - 38:44
    You are very welcome.
  • 38:46 - 38:59
    This is an essential experience that is available
    to anyone who is even curious enough to investigate.
  • 39:00 - 39:07
    From this essential experience, there is choice.
  • 39:07 - 39:19
    There may appear to be lack of choice but
    you have an experience now of what is already at peace,
  • 39:19 - 39:31
    already stopped, already free, already who you are.
  • 39:32 - 39:53
    That's the gift my teacher sends to you,
    from me, via me. This is Papaji’s gift.
  • 40:08 - 40:11
    Did you have anything else you wanted to say?
  • 40:11 - 40:17
    No, I’m just enjoying this. (laughter)
  • 40:19 - 40:23
    That's the opening, that's the beginning.
  • 40:26 - 40:38
    There may come, expect, many, many challenges,
    but always there is this very simple truth:
  • 40:38 - 40:51
    what is free, what is conscience, what is at peace is the awareness that is present every moment.
  • 40:52 - 40:56
    That's who you are.
  • 40:56 - 41:02
    Who you think you are gets its power from
    that awareness.
  • 41:03 - 41:08
    Awareness has no problem with any thought.
  • 41:08 - 41:12
    Only thoughts battle each other.
  • 41:15 - 41:26
    That's why you can have a horrible history as a thought form acting it’s way out in the collective mind
  • 41:26 - 41:36
    and you can still return home, as a prodigal son.
  • 41:36 - 41:41
    (instrumental music)
  • 41:41 - 41:48
    The question is, is there ever a time when
    awareness is no longer overshadowed by emotion?
  • 41:48 - 41:55
    Actually all the time, all the time.
  • 41:55 - 42:06
    What happens is the mind, the individual awareness, the ray of universal awareness gets fixated in a loop of
  • 42:06 - 42:18
    emotional drama. But if at any moment in that loop,
    at any point that loop, the individual mind stops and
  • 42:18 - 42:26
    examines that moment, investigates that moment,
    all the way, whatever the emotion, instantly
  • 42:26 - 42:29
    there is full clarity in awareness.
  • 42:29 - 42:37
    So then every emotion is a vehicle, every
    moment of every emotion is a vehicle.
  • 42:37 - 42:45
    Awareness is not overshadowed by anything
    ever, ever.
  • 42:45 - 42:52
    You see, we use this word “awareness”
    but often what we're talking about is an
  • 42:52 - 43:00
    individual state of awareness that gets called mindfulness, or equanimity, or oceanic or Samadhi,
  • 43:00 - 43:05
    or clarity. Those are states of awareness.
  • 43:06 - 43:13
    And then we also have what we call the negative states,
    which you know, “lack of equanimity, confusion,
  • 43:13 - 43:17
    anger, negativity, fear.
  • 43:18 - 43:21
    Those are also states of awareness.
  • 43:21 - 43:27
    But you cannot have any of those states without
    awareness.
  • 43:27 - 43:28
    This is not illogical.
  • 43:28 - 43:33
    This is very logical.
  • 43:33 - 43:37
    You can have awareness without any state.
  • 43:37 - 43:42
    You don’t need any state for awareness as
    some people in here have discovered.
  • 43:42 - 43:47
    There can be a moment, an instant of nothing happening.
  • 43:48 - 43:54
    Just awareness as you just spoke of, no trees,
    no me, just awareness.
  • 43:54 - 43:57
    Then trees reappear. Does awareness disappear?
  • 43:57 - 44:03
    Well how would you know there are trees, if awareness disappeared?
  • 44:03 - 44:08
    How did you know there were no trees if awareness
    disappeared when there were no trees?
  • 44:08 - 44:16
    So what happens in certain spiritual conditioning
    is we start to elevate certain states that are elevated.
  • 44:17 - 44:20
    We don’t start to elevate them.They are elevated states
  • 44:20 - 44:26
    but we start to assign
    the elevated state as the truth of awareness,
  • 44:26 - 44:30
    rather than recognizing awareness is
    present in any state.
  • 44:30 - 44:33
    Awareness is omnipresent.
  • 44:33 - 44:37
    Awareness is God.
  • 44:38 - 44:44
    It is always here, omnipresent, omniscient,
    knows everything, is aware of everything.
  • 44:44 - 44:49
    That doesn’t mean some like powerful thing
    knowing what you're thinking, you're thinking
  • 44:49 - 44:51
    knowing that you blinked, you didn’t blink.
  • 44:51 - 45:00
    It means, in your mind, everything that occurs or doesn’t occur, occurs in the presence of awareness.
  • 45:00 - 45:07
    The shift, the break happens when you recognize,
    as was spoken of
  • 45:08 - 45:16
    here so beautifully this morning about the cars passing on the road but here you are.
  • 45:16 - 45:21
    Emotion as weather, so the winds came up this
    morning.
  • 45:21 - 45:26
    There were whitecaps on the lake, and rain
    came but here you are.
  • 45:26 - 45:28
    You didn’t change.
  • 45:28 - 45:30
    Life didn’t change.
  • 45:30 - 45:40
    So it’s dropping the individual awareness,
    deeper and deeper back into it’s source.
  • 45:40 - 45:46
    Not so you have to stay in the source, because
    you can’t be separate from the source.
  • 45:46 - 45:53
    If you stay in the source there's still some
    latent thought, 'If I don’t stay here
  • 45:53 - 46:04
    than I won’t be awareness." This is fluid, effortless being. Awareness is effortless.
  • 46:04 - 46:11
    Identification with particular states of awareness
    is perhaps part of the organism, perhaps part
  • 46:11 - 46:20
    of the evolution and is a source of suffering,
    because then there is identification with a sufferer.
  • 46:21 - 46:29
    And a sufferer is an image or a sensation that
    appears in suffering that is identified as me,
  • 46:29 - 46:35
    associated with the body and the sensory
    nerve endings of that body.
  • 46:35 - 46:46
    But deeper than that, there's awareness, aware of the suffering, aware of me, aware of identification and free.
  • 46:46 - 46:51
    It is already present.
  • 46:51 - 46:55
    The mystery is how it got overlooked.
  • 46:55 - 46:57
    But let’s leave that as a mystery.
  • 46:57 - 47:01
    We don’t have to solve that mystery.
  • 47:01 - 47:06
    Just stop overlooking it.
  • 47:06 - 47:19
    (instrumental music)
  • 47:19 - 47:29
    I have moments that I would say of stopping
    and waking up and then I have moments where
  • 47:29 - 47:34
    I would say I’m aware that I’m not awake.
  • 47:35 - 47:42
    So there’s kind of that being awake and
    being aware that I’m not awake.
  • 47:42 - 47:45
    And I don’t really know what the question
    is, just looking at that.
  • 47:45 - 47:48
    So let me ask you a question.
  • 47:48 - 47:56
    So when you say (this is so rich because everyone can relate to this, surely).
  • 47:56 - 48:06
    So I want to know what you mean by “I am
    awake or I am not awake.
  • 48:06 - 48:15
    What “I” is awake?
  • 48:16 - 48:29
    There is a moment of seeing like how I usually
    see myself then seeing it likes it’s
  • 48:29 - 48:32
    a horse, you know like a horse that I have.
  • 48:32 - 48:37
    That that personality is just this horse that
    I have but it’s not me, you know
  • 48:37 - 48:43
    Excellent, beautiful and then in the other
    moment?
  • 48:43 - 48:52
    Then I am the horse and it’s very real and
    sometimes it's like “oh, I'm being the
  • 48:52 - 48:59
    horse” and I remember that I’m not the
    horse but is seems really real right now.
  • 48:59 - 49:06
    So what is exactly the same in both of those
    experiences?
  • 49:06 - 49:08
    We understand what’s different
  • 49:09 - 49:10
    Yeah
  • 49:10 - 49:18
    One's light and one's dark or one is identified
    and one is free of identification.
  • 49:18 - 49:22
    But what’s the same?
  • 49:23 - 49:32
    What aspect of both of those experiences is
    unchangeable?
  • 49:35 - 49:37
    I don’t know.
  • 49:37 - 49:42
    I know it is so close, it is so close that it goes overlooked.
  • 49:42 - 49:47
    When you said, initially you said “and
    then I am aware.
  • 49:47 - 49:53
    I am aware that I’m awake and then I am
    aware that I’m identified as a horse.”
  • 49:53 - 50:00
    Are you aware that you are awareness?
  • 50:03 - 50:07
    I get the idea, you know
  • 50:07 - 50:14
    Impossible, you can't get the idea because
    it doesn’t make sense but you can,
  • 50:14 - 50:18
    you can catch the reverberation of it.
  • 50:18 - 50:24
    It’s like tuning, you know, (mmmm) and then
    we are on the same wavelength.
  • 50:24 - 50:29
    And then what happens is you try to get it
    as an idea and its flat.
  • 50:29 - 50:31
    You lose the tune.
  • 50:31 - 50:32
    Right?
  • 50:32 - 50:33
    Yeah
  • 50:33 - 50:44
    So in the experience of “I am aware, I am
    awake and I am aware I am not awake”.
  • 50:44 - 50:50
    What is unchanging is that “I am aware”.
  • 50:50 - 51:01
    The truth is I am awareness.
  • 51:01 - 51:12
    What happens is we identify with the experience
    of awakeness and we hate the experience of ignorance.
  • 51:13 - 51:20
    And that’s then this spiritual dharmic wheel
    'I’m awake, I’m asleep, I’m awake,
  • 51:20 - 51:25
    I’m asleep, I’m awake, I’m asleep,'
    which is the same wheel as the worldly wheel,
  • 51:25 - 51:30
    “I’m good, I’m bad, I’m rich, I’m
    poor, I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m beautiful,
  • 51:30 - 51:33
    I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m brilliant”
    Familiar?
  • 51:33 - 51:36
    I mean I must of gotten your version in.
  • 51:36 - 51:42
    We all have all parts of it, many spokes on
    this wheel.
  • 51:42 - 51:46
    But the spiritual one and that's what I’m
    speaking to many people is, 'I’m awake,
  • 51:46 - 51:50
    I’m asleep, I’m awake, I’m asleep, I’m
    awake, I'm asleep.
  • 51:50 - 51:54
    I want be awake all the time; I don’t want
    to be asleep anymore.'
  • 51:54 - 52:02
    All the time overlooking what is closer than
    awake or asleep.
  • 52:02 - 52:06
    What is free of both awake and asleep.
  • 52:06 - 52:13
    Now I believe it to be so, I am not sure about
    this, but I believe it to be so,
  • 52:13 - 52:21
    that in order to discover what's closer than awake
    or asleep, you have to first to have an experience of
  • 52:21 - 52:24
    “I am awake”.
  • 52:24 - 52:30
    Because there's this tilt to our experience
    of ignorance, sleep, sleep.
  • 52:30 - 52:36
    and then 'poof,' there's an essential experience,
    of awakeness, where you recognize,
  • 52:36 - 52:38
    I am not this personality.
  • 52:38 - 52:40
    I am not this set of this story.
  • 52:40 - 52:42
    I am not this story.
  • 52:42 - 52:46
    There is a recognition there and it is a beautiful
    recognition.
  • 52:46 - 52:52
    And it is filled with light and freedom and
    joy and laughter.
  • 52:52 - 53:00
    It's an essential experience because it's
    the counter point to the normal experience.
  • 53:00 - 53:04
    But it is not the final experience.
  • 53:04 - 53:07
    It’s the opening of the final experience.
  • 53:07 - 53:11
    It’s what Papaji would call “half-baked”.
  • 53:11 - 53:15
    Half-baked but half-baked is half-baked. Right?
  • 53:15 - 53:28
    Half baked, good, so back in the oven is
    to discover, 'Okay if I’m aware when I’m
  • 53:28 - 53:38
    awake and I’m aware when I’m asleep, who
    or what is it that is aware?
  • 53:38 - 53:45
    So when you say, “I am aware,” Who is
    aware?
  • 53:49 - 53:55
    Is it not awareness itself that is aware?
  • 53:55 - 54:00
    Let’s see, like right now.
  • 54:00 - 54:05
    Isn’t there an awareness of this exchange,
    an awareness of whatever maybe happening or
  • 54:05 - 54:09
    awareness of no awareness of what's happening.
  • 54:09 - 54:18
    But awareness is here so close- closer than
    any thought- closer than any heartbeat.
  • 54:18 - 54:25
    Closer than any awakening and closer than
    any sleep, closer than any identification.
  • 54:25 - 54:33
    And present in every identification as well
    as every awakening.
  • 54:38 - 54:43
    Now when I feel into it, it doesn’t fit,
    you know words.
  • 54:43 - 54:46
    It doesn’t fit a word, that’s right.
  • 54:46 - 54:48
    But a word fits into it.
  • 54:48 - 54:49
    Every word is in it.
  • 54:49 - 54:55
    You see, do you catch it, what I'm talking
    about here.
  • 54:55 - 54:58
    This is not just giving you another spiritual
    search.
  • 54:58 - 55:01
    It’s not giving you a religion or a set
    of beliefs.
  • 55:01 - 55:08
    It is first of all acknowledging that you
    have had an essential experience.
  • 55:08 - 55:12
    If you haven’t, you don’t know what I
    am talking about.
  • 55:12 - 55:13
    And you will have one.
  • 55:13 - 55:19
    You will get one because they are contagious.
  • 55:19 - 55:20
    And it’s what you want.
  • 55:20 - 55:21
    So you’ll have it.
  • 55:21 - 55:24
    You are mind is turned in that direction.
  • 55:24 - 55:31
    I would say that 90 to 99% of the people in here
    have had an essential experience.
  • 55:31 - 55:37
    Even if you don’t remember the exact experience,
    you have an echo of that experience resonating
  • 55:37 - 55:38
    in your being.
  • 55:38 - 55:46
    Even if that experience happened with some
    substance, even if that experience happened
  • 55:46 - 55:51
    in your sleep, it’s there. That's great.
  • 55:51 - 56:00
    Now, what was unchanged even by that experience,
    by that blessed, hoped for, prayed for
  • 56:00 - 56:06
    searched for, worshipped for, worked
    for experienced, experience.
  • 56:06 - 56:11
    What is unchanged by that?
  • 56:12 - 56:19
    When you find your Self, you find what is
    unchanged by any experience.
  • 56:19 - 56:27
    Blessedly delivered from hell but unchanged
    by that delivery.
  • 56:27 - 56:30
    You understand this?
  • 56:30 - 56:37
    Because otherwise, you will fear hell and
    you will resist hell and you will hate hell
  • 56:37 - 56:46
    and you will spend the rest of your attention
    in this life story avoiding hell.
  • 56:46 - 56:51
    And then that becomes the religion, the avoidance
    of hell, the avoidance of pain, the avoidance of
  • 56:51 - 56:59
    suffering and then the life once again, very superficial
    only now it is a spiritual superficial life.
  • 56:59 - 57:04
    Don’t settle for that.
  • 57:04 - 57:10
    The essential experience is the counter balance
    to the normal experience of plodding through
  • 57:10 - 57:20
    life miserably, neurotically, there is an
    essential experience that penetrates and cuts through.
  • 57:21 - 57:28
    How it came to you, I don’t know and I suggest,
    you don’t know.
  • 57:28 - 57:32
    It is very skillful to not know how it came
    to you.
  • 57:32 - 57:41
    By Grace, by luck, some mystery, there
    is an opening and there is a direct knowing
  • 57:41 - 57:55
    of oneself as free- free of the personality
    or free of the identification or freedom itself.
  • 57:55 - 58:05
    (Instrumental music)
  • 58:05 - 58:17
    This is the profound teaching of Ramana when
    he says to Be Still, to be the stillness that you are.
  • 58:20 - 58:26
    And this stillness is eternal.
  • 58:26 - 58:30
    And it is the sublime nectar of being.
  • 58:30 - 58:32
    It’s not a magic potion.
  • 58:32 - 58:45
    It won’t keep bad experiences away but it
    will keep the truth shining regardless of experience.
  • 58:45 - 58:53
    It won’t keep your body from aging or keep
    your body in perfect health always but it
  • 58:53 - 59:06
    will keep the radiance and the innocence and
    the purity of your own nature obvious regardless
  • 59:06 - 59:10
    of the state of the body or age.
  • 59:12 - 59:16
    It won’t bring you great riches.
  • 59:16 - 59:20
    It won’t help you win wars.
  • 59:20 - 59:30
    It won’t make you the queen of the world
    or the king of the universe but it will reveal
  • 59:30 - 59:42
    the source of power, which is the resting
    place, which no war can disrupt,
  • 59:42 - 59:52
    which no individual power can touch.
  • 59:52 - 60:03
    (instrumental music)
  • 60:03 - 60:12
    So in this moment, as we are gathered here
    with our attention on this if just in this
  • 60:12 - 60:20
    moment for just five seconds, thirty seconds
    you just put aside the whole story of who you
  • 60:20 - 60:28
    think you are, the story of your unenlightenment,
    the story of your enlightenment, the story
  • 60:28 - 60:34
    of you don’t have it, the story that somebody else
    has it, the story that you had a horrible
  • 60:34 - 60:39
    childhood, the story that you had a good childhood,
    the story that you’re beautiful, the story
  • 60:39 - 60:47
    that you’re ugly, the story that your superior,
    the story that you’re inferior, the story
  • 60:47 - 60:55
    that you’re brilliant, the story that you’re
    stupid, just this moment just put it aside.
  • 60:55 - 61:00
    Then where does you’re attention go?
  • 61:01 - 61:07
    If it doesn’t go anywhere, where does it go?
  • 61:07 - 61:13
    Where does it rest?
  • 61:16 - 61:23
    This is present always in everybody, in every
    moment.
  • 61:23 - 61:27
    That’s the glorious good news.
  • 61:27 - 61:42
    Let your attention rest in itself, in awareness
    and experience your Self.
  • 61:43 - 61:47
    Not to get something, because that is another story.
  • 61:47 - 61:52
    Not to keep it because that is a story, not
    to wake up because that's a story.
  • 61:52 - 61:57
    Awareness is awake, it's awake.
  • 61:57 - 62:08
    How else would you know you’re asleep if
    you weren’t awake?
  • 62:08 - 62:26
    (instrumental music)
Title:
Gangaji - Still In Awareness
Description:

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Video Language:
English
Duration:
01:03:23

English subtitles

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