0:00:39.920,0:00:45.920
Still in Awareness[br]Compilation of Talks 2004

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The most sublime truth of all has never been[br]stated or sung or written.

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Not because it is far away and can't be reached but because it is so intimately close, because it is closer

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than anything that can be spoken.

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It is truly alive as the stillness in the[br]core of your being, not my being or her being

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or his being, your being, alive in the stillness[br]that is the core of your being.

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It is too close to be described, too close[br]to be objectified, too close to be known in

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the way that we think of knowing as knowledge,[br]as objects.

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But it is yours already. It's already present.

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The only reason that I have appeared in your[br]consciousness is to simply confirm that.

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I truly have nothing to teach you. You probably know more than I do anyway.

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There have been plenty of teachers who have[br]taught exquisite and true and useful codes

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of conduct, methods of meditation, ways of[br]living in the world, ways of manifesting in

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the world but what this appearance that is[br]called “Gangaji” is, in your consciousness

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is simply a pointing to the stillness that[br]is alive in the core of your being,

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and an invitation to turn your attention to that,[br]to let that live your life, to give your questions

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to that, to give your answers to that, your[br]failures, your successes, your form, your

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formlessness, your action, your inaction,[br]your choice, your choicelessness, all,

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to give it back where it came from, back before[br]creation.

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This is possible only because you are that[br]stillness.

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It would be impossible regardless of the intention[br]or the effort, if you were who you think you are.

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Who you think you are is by the very nature[br]of thought limited.

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So however grandiose that thought may be, it's[br]still limited.

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But who you are has never been spoken, is[br]closer than you can know.

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Who you are is where it all is.

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***

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I’m far from being still.

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You’re far from being still.

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How do you know that?

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Who told you that?

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I feel that.

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Okay, there is a feeling and the interpretation[br]of that feeling, since a feeling is agitated,

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is that what you mean?

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The feeling is agitated so then there is a[br]conclusion that therefore I am agitated.

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And maybe there is a mental agitation that[br]goes along with that so that’s further proof,

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“I am agitated."

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But I am here to tell you that you are still.

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And this agitation is in your body perhaps,[br]in your emotions perhaps, in your mind perhaps,

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in the elements perhaps, but you are the awareness[br]that recognizes the agitation.

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You follow this?

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There’s agitation.

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Can there be recognition of that agitation[br]without some awareness of that agitation?

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No.

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Right, It’s simple isn’t it?

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Is the awareness of the agitation agitated?

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(laughter)

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Yes, it bears checking.

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Just take a moment to check.

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Is agitation…

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I understand...a lot of agitation.

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And there's awareness of that agitation.

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Is awareness agitated?

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No

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That’s right. (laughter)

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Awareness is still, Isn’t it?

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Yes.

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I say to you, you are that awareness.

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Agitation comes and goes, calmness comes and[br]goes, awareness is eternal.

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It is eternally still.

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You are that.

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You can’t catch it with your mind.

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Yes, because the mind just gets agitated further[br]in trying to catch it.

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Let the mind do its thing, it doesn’t matter.

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You are the awareness of the mind’s agitation.

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You are what is already still.

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I just don't believe it.

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It’s not a question of believing it.

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Don’t believe it. Don't believe it.

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I don’t want you to believe it.

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I want you to investigate and see for yourself,[br]is this true or is this just another belief.

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In your life moments of agitation have appeared[br]and disappeared.

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Right?

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You have not been agitated every second of[br]your life.

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Maybe a majority, I don’t know.

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But that is the way it is with certain nervous[br]systems.

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They vary like plants vary, you know.

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Patterns of weather vary in human beings.

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Certain nervous systems experience or generate[br]more agitations than others.

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The awareness of that agitation that has never[br]come and gone.

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That's always been present.

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And it has always been still.

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The dilemma and the suffering comes out of[br]misidentification of your Self as your body

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which can be agitated or sick or in pain,[br]or your mind which can be spinning or calm

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or confused rather than the awareness of all[br]of that.

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Okay. What happens when I get almost overwhelmed[br]with feelings?

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Aha.

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What gets almost overwhelmed with feelings?

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My body

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Your body, now, does the awareness of that[br]get overwhelmed?

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Check it out be sure

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Okay

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I’m willing to go on but I want us to stop[br]along the way because if we can nip the misidentification

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in the bud.

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I get a feeling that it happens in my body[br]and then I go Okay, I’m angry or upset and

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it’s so overwhelming that I think my mind[br]will just go…

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Yes it’s overwhelming to the nervous system,[br]right?

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The awareness, just for now, just for checking[br]it out- Has the awareness of that gone anywhere

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or gotten agitated or been diminished[br]or overwhelmed in the slightest? (pause)

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It is very good you’re taking time[br]to look.

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Yes.Take time to see this.

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Î don’t want you to accept it because I[br]say so, don’t do that.

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I feel like there is a little fight that goes[br]on in my head...

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A little fight, there is a big fight.

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Yes there is a fight.

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The mind is fragmented isn’t it?

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Into the good guys and the bad guys and the[br]mediators (laughs)

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But the awareness of all that, is there any[br]split there?

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No

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You are doing very very well, your are telling[br]the truth.

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So the very fact that you are willing to tell[br]the truth even though you are experiencing

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the suffering of this situation means that[br]your interest is more in truth than in this

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identification of yourself as this body.

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This is excellent, excellent sign, you can believe[br]that.

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Now throughout time, conditioned existence[br]has been taught, so you have to learn that

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you are your body.

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And that learning gets translated into thoughts[br]and then you have to learn you are being a

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bad body because you are in pain or you're agitated,[br]“and stop that you bad girl, slap, slap”.

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And then another part fragments off and says “I’ll[br]stop it when I feel like stopping it.

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Leave me alone bam, bam” And this is what[br]goes on in your mind, right.

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I am not a mind reader This is what goes on.

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This is what goes on in individual minds and[br]goes on in the collective mind.

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In the collective mind we witness it as wars,[br]religious wars, or political wars or genocidal

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wars but it is the same mind at war with itself.

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One side of the fragmentation of mind deciding[br]the other side has to go.

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No room for it here.

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And the identification and the suffering in[br]that or the self-righteousness in that.

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But the point here is there is an awareness of[br]this war that is not at war.

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That is peace itself.

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And that is your soul.

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There is an opportunity at this moment in[br]your lifetime to align yourself with your

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soul rather than these warring factions of your[br]mind.

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I'm not saying the war will immediately end.

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I'm saying if you align yourself with your[br]soul, the war won’t be empowered.

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They'll run out of provisions.

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There may be clashes but the war’s steam[br]will have finished because your central attention

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has shifted to its source, which is awareness[br]itself, vast limitless awareness.

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Peace, stillness has shifted to who you are,[br]not who you thought you were.

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Who you thought or think you are is only a[br]thought in your mind.

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It comes and it goes.

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It changes, it mutates, it likes, it says[br]that you are a good one day and bad the next day.

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The awareness doesn’t change, doesn’t[br]move, radiates the presence of love, regardless

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of the thought ” I am bad or I am good' irrelevant in the[br]face of this awareness.

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And somehow you know it.

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Now, I understand the suffering.

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And I don’t want to trivialize the suffering[br]or dismiss the suffering as nonexistent.

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I mean, it is but I don’t want to dismiss[br]it as that. (laughter)

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Yes, I want to wait until you do that.

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Then we will laugh together.

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Because there's a weight there and an identification[br]there and am not asking that you now layer

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on top of that identification another identification[br]called “ I am awareness”.

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'Cause then they are just stacked, you know, and[br]you can walk around saying “I am awareness”,

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and smiling and laughing and then four o’clock[br]in the morning “oh yeah” comes up (laughter)

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because it's just another belief.

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But if it’s not a belief but in fact a direct[br]experience then what ever arises in whatever

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time of day or night, you can investigate[br]the truth, “Has awareness been diminished by this?

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What is the separation between me and awareness?

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Do you find one, a separation between you[br]and awareness.?

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I do now

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At the moment because you identify yourself[br]as a body separate form awareness but awareness

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is here always and this body comes and goes.

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Even in a day, I’m not even speaking about[br]deep sleep now, but in a day aren’t there moments

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when you are not aware if your body?

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Yeah, you're aware of other things, yes, or you're aware of spacing out, yes, aware of daydreaming,

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aware of working intently focused, aware of dancing, aware of liking something, aware of not liking

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Oh, then aware of the body, aware of the heartbeat,[br]aware of the breath- back and forth- the constant

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in that is awareness.

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Yes, yes, this is it. You've caught it.

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When you recognize this, then you can explore[br]awareness with awareness, and then you see,

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“does it have a boundary? Is it a thing?

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Is it limited?”

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Then you recognize “we’ what we call ourselves[br]are all in awareness.

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There is awareness here, aware of awareness[br]here and differences in the form “here and here”

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but the same radiant, simply, absolute[br]awareness.

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Yes, I see you catch it.

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Its beautiful, your willingness to tell the[br]truth, your willingness to be exposed, to

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investigate, to be free.

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Yes, and amazingly awareness, even though it doesn’t[br]have attributes of beauty, is beauty.

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Even though it's untouched by good or bad,[br]it is radiantly good.

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Is God itself.

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Because in truth, God has never left the soul.

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I'm very happy to see you see your Self.

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There may be moments…

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Expect moments to come where self-doubt or[br]agitation will once more say, “No you're mine.

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This life is mine.

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That's all right, you just stop and tell the[br]truth.

0:18:59.330,0:19:03.310
“Has awareness left?

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Has awareness changed?

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Is awareness at peace?

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It's not forcing your mind to be at peace[br]or forcing your body to stop suffering.

0:19:12.900,0:19:14.780
It is just telling the truth.

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And then the mind naturally unwinds.

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The body naturally comes to a place of equilibrium[br]or not.

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It doesn’t matter because the truth is being[br]told.

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and the truth is primary.

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(instrumental music playing)

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So there is a certain point where you tell[br]the truth.

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And this point is now, obviously.

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And that’s why we meet.

0:19:54.370,0:19:58.289
We meet in the spirit of truth.

0:19:58.289,0:20:01.889
We meet to surrender to truth.

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The mysterious force that has already appeared[br]in your life and said,

0:20:10.669,0:20:19.059
“Come here, come home, rest, be still”.

0:20:19.059,0:20:22.539
That is what meditation is.

0:20:22.539,0:20:25.970
That's what practices are, what prayer is.

0:20:25.970,0:20:28.029
That is what rituals are.

0:20:28.029,0:20:37.299
But Papaji’s invitation is, not really a[br]prayer, it is certainly not a ritual.

0:20:37.299,0:20:39.320
It is not a meditation.

0:20:39.320,0:20:41.500
It is not a practice.

0:20:42.040,0:20:52.180
It's the immediacy of right here, right now,[br]stopping, looking for anything.

0:20:53.300,0:21:06.620
Being still, not working on being still, or[br]working to keep stillness (soft laugh).

0:21:06.820,0:21:18.039
Being still is being who you are, not cultivating[br]stillness or being bigger in your stillness.

0:21:18.039,0:21:23.679
Being who you are is being still.

0:21:24.620,0:21:31.799
Being who you think you are is your lack of[br]surrender to being who you are.

0:21:31.799,0:21:34.409
“Well, this is just who I am.

0:21:34.409,0:21:38.190
You just have to love me as I am”.

0:21:38.190,0:21:43.149
That’s who you think you are and it is not[br]lovable (laughter).

0:21:43.169,0:21:45.659
You have to face it.

0:21:45.659,0:21:48.149
And it never will be.

0:21:48.149,0:21:51.330
It may be cute or not cute but it is not lovable.

0:21:51.330,0:21:53.260
Who you are is lovable.

0:21:53.260,0:21:55.840
'Cause who you are is love.

0:21:55.840,0:21:59.370
Plain and simple, That's the truth.

0:21:59.370,0:22:10.419
All the rest is some resistance to that or[br]denial of that or searching for that. It's all the same.

0:22:10.860,0:22:19.940
(instrumental music)

0:22:21.020,0:22:33.340
And where I’m at now is, there's been kind[br]of awareness of the story.

0:22:33.350,0:22:39.820
And then going back into the story and the[br]awareness of the story and then going back

0:22:39.820,0:22:40.830
into the story.

0:22:40.830,0:22:43.769
Does the awareness go back into the story?

0:22:43.769,0:22:44.769
No

0:22:44.769,0:22:48.059
What goes in and out of the story?

0:22:48.059,0:22:52.019
'Cause it's so great you can say “no”[br]immediately.You know it is not the awareness.

0:22:52.179,0:22:55.179
You are aware of something. Yes.

0:22:55.260,0:22:57.260
Going in the story and going out of the[br]story.

0:22:57.260,0:22:59.610
This is excellent, excellent.

0:22:59.610,0:23:03.070
What is it that goes in and out?

0:23:03.260,0:23:08.240
The awareness becomes aware of itself and[br]I’m aware of the awareness

0:23:08.250,0:23:10.250
As awareness

0:23:10.250,0:23:14.059
And then I’m me again.

0:23:14.060,0:23:18.620
And where is awareness in that moment of “meness”?

0:23:18.820,0:23:20.460
Forgetting itself?

0:23:20.460,0:23:24.139
What’s aware of forgetting?

0:23:26.100,0:23:27.900
Oh yes.

0:23:28.040,0:23:35.260
Yes. You see what happens, is because the mind,[br]as we have been speaking here in the last

0:23:35.269,0:23:41.829
few days, is so brilliant, so awesome, awareness[br]itself becomes an object.

0:23:42.100,0:23:52.180
So I was speaking no form but you can then kind of have[br]this amorphous “oh awareness”

0:23:52.380,0:23:56.340
and so of course that's subject to appearance and disappearance.

0:23:56.520,0:24:05.440
But the awareness of that awareness that comes[br]and goes does not disappear.

0:24:05.440,0:24:13.269
“Me” appears in it, the sense of “meness”,[br]the physical, emotional, mental sense of individual

0:24:13.269,0:24:20.109
nervous system taking in individual processing[br]of information.

0:24:20.380,0:24:28.120
That appears and disappears as does that notion[br]of awareness appear and disappear.

0:24:28.340,0:24:36.660
But there is pure awareness that cannot be[br]notioned.

0:24:38.860,0:24:44.920
When you say forgetting, you are forgetting[br]some 'thing'.

0:24:45.140,0:24:52.679
You know there's a problem with this phrase[br]about self-remembering, as there's a problem

0:24:52.679,0:24:58.170
with any phrase that is spoken and then gets[br]taken out of context and gets worshipped and then

0:24:58.170,0:25:00.470
people have to "self-remember”.

0:25:00.540,0:25:02.840
But you cannot remember your Self.

0:25:02.840,0:25:11.340
It is impossible, because you're not a thing[br]that is an object that can be stored in a memory bank.

0:25:11.880,0:25:21.140
You can remember a notion of your self or[br]an experience of your self or an idea of your self.

0:25:21.140,0:25:22.940
Just like you remember your name.

0:25:23.200,0:25:27.059
Every morning when you wake up, you have to[br]remember your name again.

0:25:27.059,0:25:30.119
It’s quick because you’ve practiced it.

0:25:30.300,0:25:37.280
But there is an instant where you have no name[br]and you remember it.

0:25:37.289,0:25:40.790
And so we assume we can do that with the[br]truth of who we are.

0:25:40.790,0:25:42.830
You cannot.

0:25:43.140,0:25:50.660
If you recognize and are willing to recognize that you cannot remember your self, the truth of your self,

0:25:51.400,0:25:56.940
Then immediately you will see that you also can’t[br]forget it.

0:25:56.950,0:26:06.100
It’s not subject to being remembered or[br]forgotten, because it is not an object.

0:26:06.100,0:26:11.460
Did everybody here that?

0:26:11.640,0:26:17.360
Who you are is not subject to being remembered[br]or forgotten.

0:26:17.370,0:26:22.120
So give up remembering your self.

0:26:22.120,0:26:25.490
This is worse than a useless activity.

0:26:25.490,0:26:31.760
It's the carrot again. It's an image of yourself.

0:26:31.760,0:26:37.720
It's like awareness, or bliss or emptiness.

0:26:37.720,0:26:45.419
But now this bliss, and awareness and emptiness[br]has a boundary had a birth, subject to change

0:26:45.419,0:26:47.309
and a death.

0:26:47.309,0:26:48.990
Forget it.

0:26:48.990,0:26:50.779
Save yourself some trouble.

0:26:50.779,0:26:59.519
Forget it, then you can see what is out of[br]the bounds of memory, what cannot be forgotten,

0:26:59.519,0:27:03.819
cannot be remembered, cannot be denied.

0:27:04.060,0:27:11.180
Cannot be found and cannot be escaped.

0:27:11.380,0:27:16.580
This idea “I will find it or I will remember[br]it or I will keep it”

0:27:16.700,0:27:26.240
This is an idea of you as a thing, walking[br]around like a little stick figure, going after "It".

0:27:26.420,0:27:27.940
This is all in your mind.

0:27:27.940,0:27:29.290
Forget it.

0:27:29.290,0:27:30.630
Forget it.

0:27:30.630,0:27:34.509
This is what Papaji means when he says, “Give[br]up the search."

0:27:34.509,0:27:39.880
And we think, "Oh, he couldn't really mean 'give up the search'.

0:27:39.880,0:27:44.000
He means that metaphorically or poetically,[br]not really give up the search “.

0:27:44.000,0:27:45.571
Yes, give it up.

0:27:45.571,0:27:48.000
Give up the search.

0:27:48.000,0:27:52.840
You give up the search, you give up the seeker.

0:27:52.840,0:28:03.180
You give up this little stick figure in your[br]mind or this fleshy wonderful, godlike creature.

0:28:03.380,0:28:06.460
And see what is here.

0:28:06.460,0:28:09.259
It’s the same as dying.

0:28:09.259,0:28:15.799
Only it's dying consciously before the body[br]dies.

0:28:15.940,0:28:26.040
(instrumental music)

0:28:26.300,0:28:37.340
A word that I hear often, when I suggest or[br]demand that someone stop or be still or tell

0:28:37.350,0:28:43.929
the truth is “trying”, “I’m trying[br]to. I’m trying to”.

0:28:43.929,0:28:44.940
Do you know this word?

0:28:44.940,0:28:46.679
Do you use this word sometimes?

0:28:46.679,0:28:55.319
“I’m trying to." And this is a big trap.

0:28:55.320,0:29:04.740
In using this word “trying”, what it usually[br]means is “I’m trying to do that”.

0:29:05.200,0:29:10.419
And so the trying is the effort around doing.

0:29:10.419,0:29:18.879
But really telling the truth or being still[br]or stopping is much simpler than doing anything.

0:29:19.080,0:29:29.500
And so once there's a trying involved there's tension, different from focus is tension.

0:29:29.720,0:29:38.539
Because you can’t quite find how to do it[br]and many people ask me, “But how, but how?"

0:29:38.539,0:29:45.639
That’s really looking for some model, or some[br]picture, or some image and it is much simpler,

0:29:45.820,0:29:48.920
It's much closer to home.

0:29:49.140,0:29:54.000
You may ask “how to be”

0:29:55.280,0:29:58.600
but you already are.

0:29:58.610,0:30:10.289
So if you'll stop trying to be, there's an expanse[br]that opens up of beingness, or rather there

0:30:10.289,0:30:13.669
is an expanse of recognition of beingness.

0:30:13.669,0:30:19.389
But the trying is covering because of the[br]tension and contraction of energy.

0:30:19.389,0:30:22.849
“I want it." I have to get it. "How do I do it?””

0:30:23.070,0:30:26.670
I’m trying to do it." Just stop. “Okay, how do I stop?'

0:30:26.840,0:30:35.680
So you can see the dilemma in speaking about[br]this because language itself is already one

0:30:35.690,0:30:42.590
step out from what is closest in.

0:30:42.780,0:30:50.720
The simple fact of being, it takes no trying.

0:30:50.720,0:30:58.639
So I really want you to understand that I[br]am not talking about changing your behavior.

0:30:58.639,0:31:05.439
There is a natural appropriateness of behavior[br]that there is nothing wrong with.

0:31:05.680,0:31:09.900
The way you speak to your parents, the way[br]you speak to your children, the way you speak

0:31:09.909,0:31:12.950
to your friends, the way you speak to the[br]desk clerk, the way you drive your car.

0:31:12.950,0:31:16.870
This is just appropriate behavior that gets learned.

0:31:16.870,0:31:26.710
But deeper inside, there is often a tension in trying to be something that that behavior says you are.

0:31:27.660,0:31:39.200
Trying to be a good person, trying to be brilliant and the fear is if I don’t’ try to be I will be the reverse of that.

0:31:39.440,0:31:48.560
I will be a bad person. I will be a stupid person, trying to [br]be of worth or I'll be a worthless person,

0:31:48.720,0:31:54.500
trying to be enlightened or I will live in hell and ignorance.

0:31:54.509,0:32:02.409
And so, of course, what has to be faced sooner[br]or later and the suggestion of this message

0:32:02.580,0:32:12.260
from Ramana and from Papaji is that sooner is right[br]now, is that which is being avoided.

0:32:12.500,0:32:16.800
Ramana gives us the example with facing death.

0:32:16.809,0:32:20.830
It’s all about facing death, all of it.

0:32:20.830,0:32:26.770
But our mind fragments death into lots of[br]little mini deaths like being worthless or being

0:32:26.960,0:32:34.660
no good or being condemned to ignorance or[br]hell.

0:32:38.920,0:32:48.160
So in this moment, if you aren't trying to be any thing or any body or any where or any way

0:32:49.920,0:32:58.660
Who are you? What are you? What is here?

0:33:00.400,0:33:06.740
If you aren't trying to be some place, where[br]are you?

0:33:09.020,0:33:15.380
If you aren't trying to be, are you?

0:33:20.260,0:33:33.020
It's possible you can at least glimpse the[br]extraneous energy and unnecessary suffering

0:33:33.029,0:33:42.139
which is the attention of your lifespan which[br]may be over today or tomorrow or in a year

0:33:42.140,0:33:52.920
or ten years, who knows? But the attention of your lifespan is spent unnecessarily, extraneously.

0:33:58.600,0:34:09.440
So the question, “Where is your attention?”[br]is the same as “What are you trying to be?”

0:34:09.450,0:34:10.940
"Who are you trying to be?”

0:34:10.940,0:34:15.980
"What are you trying to escape?”

0:34:18.160,0:34:25.640
Which is the same as, "Who are you, really?"

0:34:25.760,0:34:33.500
(instrumental music)

0:34:33.500,0:34:36.240
How do I stop the obsession?

0:34:36.429,0:34:44.209
Oh, this is beautiful, this is the question "How do I stop the obsession? Yes, this is a true question.

0:34:49.920,0:35:00.040
The real question behind that, the question,[br]“How do I obsess?’ can be seen.

0:35:00.080,0:35:11.200
The how to stop the obsessing cannot be seen[br]because stopping…Do you get this?

0:35:11.200,0:35:17.770
But what can be seen is how the refusal to[br]stop and its justifications and it’s tangents

0:35:17.770,0:35:25.950
and it’s sophistication, and it’s cynicism,[br]how it plays itself based on desires and hopes

0:35:25.950,0:35:41.270
and fears but what is already stopped within you?

0:35:45.020,0:35:49.920
Everything, it's...I don’t know. I don't know.

0:35:50.200,0:36:00.940
So when you make that statement, “I don’t[br]know," there's awareness of that statement.

0:36:01.260,0:36:05.080
Is that awareness moving in any direction?

0:36:05.280,0:36:07.160
No.That’s right.

0:36:10.440,0:36:17.760
So the secret really is that[br]when you stop, you stop identifying with the

0:36:17.760,0:36:21.910
movement and you identify with awareness.

0:36:21.910,0:36:25.790
I'm not speaking of observer and observed.

0:36:25.980,0:36:32.559
I’m speaking of the awareness of the observer[br]and the observed, in which both the observer

0:36:32.559,0:36:37.680
and the observed appear.

0:36:38.160,0:36:43.980
So already you are stopped.

0:36:43.990,0:36:49.470
And so when I say “stop” you are already[br]stopped.

0:36:49.470,0:36:54.330
You are already awareness.

0:36:54.480,0:37:01.760
Attention is gathered, stop to what already[br]is at peace,

0:37:03.220,0:37:07.800
where fulfillment is already.

0:37:10.640,0:37:22.720
Yes, you see that. This is the beauty, how[br]simply and really easily it can be seen.

0:37:22.920,0:37:33.400
With that beauty there is a tragedy, how easily[br]it is turned from, how easily it is trivialized,

0:37:33.410,0:37:50.270
given up, dismissed, denied, ignored but the[br]ease is not diminished by the turning.

0:37:50.270,0:38:00.450
So still within you, however many times your[br]mind has turned from this, simple and radiant truth,

0:38:00.450,0:38:23.090
there is the welcome, there is the[br]invitation, home, right now.

0:38:33.000,0:38:34.800
Thank you

0:38:34.920,0:38:37.480
You are very welcome.

0:38:37.490,0:38:43.750
You are very welcome.

0:38:45.540,0:38:59.260
This is an essential experience that is available[br]to anyone who is even curious enough to investigate.

0:39:00.120,0:39:07.180
From this essential experience, there is choice.

0:39:07.460,0:39:18.580
There may appear to be lack of choice but[br]you have an experience now of what is already at peace,

0:39:18.860,0:39:30.800
already stopped, already free, already who you are.

0:39:32.460,0:39:53.000
That's the gift my teacher sends to you,[br]from me, via me. This is Papaji’s gift.

0:40:07.540,0:40:11.340
Did you have anything else you wanted to say?

0:40:11.340,0:40:17.100
No, I’m just enjoying this. (laughter)

0:40:18.640,0:40:23.140
That's the opening, that's the beginning.

0:40:26.080,0:40:38.240
There may come, expect, many, many challenges,[br]but always there is this very simple truth:

0:40:38.240,0:40:50.620
what is free, what is conscience, what is at peace is the awareness that is present every moment.

0:40:52.100,0:40:56.280
That's who you are.

0:40:56.460,0:41:02.460
Who you think you are gets its power from[br]that awareness.

0:41:02.900,0:41:08.240
Awareness has no problem with any thought.

0:41:08.420,0:41:11.880
Only thoughts battle each other.

0:41:14.580,0:41:25.600
That's why you can have a horrible history as a thought form acting it’s way out in the collective mind

0:41:26.360,0:41:35.640
and you can still return home, as a prodigal son.

0:41:35.640,0:41:40.560
(instrumental music)

0:41:40.780,0:41:48.180
The question is, is there ever a time when[br]awareness is no longer overshadowed by emotion?

0:41:48.180,0:41:54.520
Actually all the time, all the time.

0:41:54.940,0:42:06.040
What happens is the mind, the individual awareness, the ray of universal awareness gets fixated in a loop of

0:42:06.120,0:42:17.700
emotional drama. But if at any moment in that loop, [br]at any point that loop, the individual mind stops and

0:42:17.710,0:42:26.079
examines that moment, investigates that moment,[br]all the way, whatever the emotion, instantly

0:42:26.079,0:42:29.079
there is full clarity in awareness.

0:42:29.079,0:42:37.159
So then every emotion is a vehicle, every[br]moment of every emotion is a vehicle.

0:42:37.260,0:42:44.900
Awareness is not overshadowed by anything[br]ever, ever.

0:42:45.140,0:42:51.960
You see, we use this word “awareness”[br]but often what we're talking about is an

0:42:51.960,0:42:59.530
individual state of awareness that gets called mindfulness, or equanimity, or oceanic or Samadhi,

0:42:59.530,0:43:04.890
or clarity. Those are states of awareness.

0:43:06.140,0:43:12.880
And then we also have what we call the negative states,[br]which you know, “lack of equanimity, confusion,

0:43:12.890,0:43:17.390
anger, negativity, fear.

0:43:17.620,0:43:21.000
Those are also states of awareness.

0:43:21.000,0:43:26.630
But you cannot have any of those states without[br]awareness.

0:43:26.630,0:43:28.290
This is not illogical.

0:43:28.290,0:43:33.290
This is very logical.

0:43:33.290,0:43:36.960
You can have awareness without any state.

0:43:37.240,0:43:42.200
You don’t need any state for awareness as[br]some people in here have discovered.

0:43:42.200,0:43:47.320
There can be a moment, an instant of nothing happening.

0:43:47.540,0:43:53.600
Just awareness as you just spoke of, no trees,[br]no me, just awareness.

0:43:53.600,0:43:57.060
Then trees reappear. Does awareness disappear?

0:43:57.280,0:44:02.860
Well how would you know there are trees, if awareness disappeared?

0:44:03.020,0:44:08.500
How did you know there were no trees if awareness[br]disappeared when there were no trees?

0:44:08.500,0:44:16.340
So what happens in certain spiritual conditioning[br]is we start to elevate certain states that are elevated.

0:44:16.580,0:44:19.860
We don’t start to elevate them.They are elevated states

0:44:20.040,0:44:25.579
but we start to assign[br]the elevated state as the truth of awareness,

0:44:25.579,0:44:30.490
rather than recognizing awareness is[br]present in any state.

0:44:30.490,0:44:33.330
Awareness is omnipresent.

0:44:33.360,0:44:37.320
Awareness is God.

0:44:38.220,0:44:44.420
It is always here, omnipresent, omniscient,[br]knows everything, is aware of everything.

0:44:44.430,0:44:49.109
That doesn’t mean some like powerful thing[br]knowing what you're thinking, you're thinking

0:44:49.109,0:44:51.099
knowing that you blinked, you didn’t blink.

0:44:51.099,0:44:59.919
It means, in your mind, everything that occurs or doesn’t occur, occurs in the presence of awareness.

0:45:00.180,0:45:07.420
The shift, the break happens when you recognize,[br]as was spoken of

0:45:07.620,0:45:15.960
here so beautifully this morning about the cars passing on the road but here you are.

0:45:16.120,0:45:20.540
Emotion as weather, so the winds came up this[br]morning.

0:45:20.540,0:45:25.869
There were whitecaps on the lake, and rain[br]came but here you are.

0:45:25.869,0:45:27.690
You didn’t change.

0:45:27.690,0:45:30.000
Life didn’t change.

0:45:30.000,0:45:39.600
So it’s dropping the individual awareness,[br]deeper and deeper back into it’s source.

0:45:39.600,0:45:46.099
Not so you have to stay in the source, because[br]you can’t be separate from the source.

0:45:46.099,0:45:52.760
If you stay in the source there's still some[br]latent thought, 'If I don’t stay here

0:45:52.760,0:46:03.720
than I won’t be awareness." This is fluid, effortless being. Awareness is effortless.

0:46:03.900,0:46:10.580
Identification with particular states of awareness[br]is perhaps part of the organism, perhaps part

0:46:10.580,0:46:20.460
of the evolution and is a source of suffering,[br]because then there is identification with a sufferer.

0:46:20.560,0:46:28.880
And a sufferer is an image or a sensation that[br]appears in suffering that is identified as me,

0:46:29.100,0:46:35.420
associated with the body and the sensory[br]nerve endings of that body.

0:46:35.420,0:46:45.520
But deeper than that, there's awareness, aware of the suffering, aware of me, aware of identification and free.

0:46:45.680,0:46:51.320
It is already present.

0:46:51.320,0:46:54.589
The mystery is how it got overlooked.

0:46:54.589,0:46:56.869
But let’s leave that as a mystery.

0:46:56.869,0:47:00.660
We don’t have to solve that mystery.

0:47:00.660,0:47:05.520
Just stop overlooking it.

0:47:05.780,0:47:19.180
(instrumental music)

0:47:19.240,0:47:28.839
I have moments that I would say of stopping[br]and waking up and then I have moments where

0:47:28.839,0:47:34.379
I would say I’m aware that I’m not awake.

0:47:34.560,0:47:41.720
So there’s kind of that being awake and[br]being aware that I’m not awake.

0:47:41.880,0:47:45.060
And I don’t really know what the question[br]is, just looking at that.

0:47:45.340,0:47:48.180
So let me ask you a question.

0:47:48.190,0:47:55.880
So when you say (this is so rich because everyone can relate to this, surely).

0:47:55.880,0:48:05.609
So I want to know what you mean by “I am[br]awake or I am not awake.

0:48:05.609,0:48:15.429
What “I” is awake?

0:48:15.600,0:48:29.280
There is a moment of seeing like how I usually[br]see myself then seeing it likes it’s

0:48:29.280,0:48:31.740
a horse, you know like a horse that I have.

0:48:31.740,0:48:37.110
That that personality is just this horse that[br]I have but it’s not me, you know

0:48:37.110,0:48:43.329
Excellent, beautiful and then in the other[br]moment?

0:48:43.329,0:48:52.170
Then I am the horse and it’s very real and[br]sometimes it's like “oh, I'm being the

0:48:52.170,0:48:58.579
horse” and I remember that I’m not the[br]horse but is seems really real right now.

0:48:58.579,0:49:05.759
So what is exactly the same in both of those[br]experiences?

0:49:06.160,0:49:08.320
We understand what’s different

0:49:08.589,0:49:09.589
Yeah

0:49:09.589,0:49:17.969
One's light and one's dark or one is identified[br]and one is free of identification.

0:49:18.120,0:49:22.180
But what’s the same?

0:49:22.920,0:49:31.520
What aspect of both of those experiences is[br]unchangeable?

0:49:35.260,0:49:37.240
I don’t know.

0:49:37.360,0:49:42.320
I know it is so close, it is so close that it goes overlooked.

0:49:42.320,0:49:47.190
When you said, initially you said “and[br]then I am aware.

0:49:47.190,0:49:53.220
I am aware that I’m awake and then I am[br]aware that I’m identified as a horse.”

0:49:53.220,0:50:00.040
Are you aware that you are awareness?

0:50:03.220,0:50:06.940
I get the idea, you know

0:50:06.950,0:50:13.750
Impossible, you can't get the idea because[br]it doesn’t make sense but you can,

0:50:13.960,0:50:17.640
you can catch the reverberation of it.

0:50:17.650,0:50:24.250
It’s like tuning, you know, (mmmm) and then[br]we are on the same wavelength.

0:50:24.250,0:50:29.040
And then what happens is you try to get it[br]as an idea and its flat.

0:50:29.040,0:50:30.800
You lose the tune.

0:50:31.060,0:50:32.180
Right?

0:50:32.380,0:50:33.280
Yeah

0:50:33.440,0:50:43.520
So in the experience of “I am aware, I am[br]awake and I am aware I am not awake”.

0:50:43.530,0:50:50.470
What is unchanging is that “I am aware”.

0:50:50.470,0:51:00.730
The truth is I am awareness.

0:51:00.880,0:51:12.140
What happens is we identify with the experience[br]of awakeness and we hate the experience of ignorance.

0:51:12.539,0:51:19.829
And that’s then this spiritual dharmic wheel[br]'I’m awake, I’m asleep, I’m awake,

0:51:19.829,0:51:24.880
I’m asleep, I’m awake, I’m asleep,'[br]which is the same wheel as the worldly wheel,

0:51:24.880,0:51:30.000
“I’m good, I’m bad, I’m rich, I’m[br]poor, I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m beautiful,

0:51:30.000,0:51:32.570
I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m brilliant”[br]Familiar?

0:51:32.570,0:51:36.300
I mean I must of gotten your version in.

0:51:36.300,0:51:41.970
We all have all parts of it, many spokes on[br]this wheel.

0:51:41.970,0:51:46.200
But the spiritual one and that's what I’m[br]speaking to many people is, 'I’m awake,

0:51:46.200,0:51:49.869
I’m asleep, I’m awake, I’m asleep, I’m[br]awake, I'm asleep.

0:51:49.869,0:51:53.769
I want be awake all the time; I don’t want[br]to be asleep anymore.'

0:51:53.940,0:52:01.960
All the time overlooking what is closer than[br]awake or asleep.

0:52:01.970,0:52:06.190
What is free of both awake and asleep.

0:52:06.460,0:52:12.760
Now I believe it to be so, I am not sure about[br]this, but I believe it to be so,

0:52:12.960,0:52:21.299
that in order to discover what's closer than awake [br]or asleep, you have to first to have an experience of

0:52:21.299,0:52:23.500
“I am awake”.

0:52:23.500,0:52:30.099
Because there's this tilt to our experience[br]of ignorance, sleep, sleep.

0:52:30.099,0:52:36.130
and then 'poof,' there's an essential experience,[br]of awakeness, where you recognize,

0:52:36.130,0:52:38.089
I am not this personality.

0:52:38.089,0:52:40.220
I am not this set of this story.

0:52:40.220,0:52:42.240
I am not this story.

0:52:42.240,0:52:45.770
There is a recognition there and it is a beautiful[br]recognition.

0:52:45.770,0:52:51.910
And it is filled with light and freedom and[br]joy and laughter.

0:52:52.240,0:52:59.539
It's an essential experience because it's[br]the counter point to the normal experience.

0:52:59.539,0:53:03.510
But it is not the final experience.

0:53:03.510,0:53:07.039
It’s the opening of the final experience.

0:53:07.049,0:53:10.949
It’s what Papaji would call “half-baked”.

0:53:11.240,0:53:15.140
Half-baked but half-baked is half-baked. Right?

0:53:15.150,0:53:28.020
Half baked, good, so back in the oven is[br]to discover, 'Okay if I’m aware when I’m

0:53:28.020,0:53:37.780
awake and I’m aware when I’m asleep, who[br]or what is it that is aware?

0:53:37.980,0:53:45.040
So when you say, “I am aware,” Who is[br]aware?

0:53:49.040,0:53:54.580
Is it not awareness itself that is aware?

0:53:54.589,0:53:59.630
Let’s see, like right now.

0:53:59.630,0:54:05.059
Isn’t there an awareness of this exchange,[br]an awareness of whatever maybe happening or

0:54:05.059,0:54:08.609
awareness of no awareness of what's happening.

0:54:08.609,0:54:18.119
But awareness is here so close- closer than[br]any thought- closer than any heartbeat.

0:54:18.119,0:54:24.789
Closer than any awakening and closer than[br]any sleep, closer than any identification.

0:54:24.789,0:54:33.200
And present in every identification as well[br]as every awakening.

0:54:38.260,0:54:43.040
Now when I feel into it, it doesn’t fit,[br]you know words.

0:54:43.049,0:54:45.710
It doesn’t fit a word, that’s right.

0:54:45.710,0:54:47.760
But a word fits into it.

0:54:47.760,0:54:48.859
Every word is in it.

0:54:48.859,0:54:54.539
You see, do you catch it, what I'm talking[br]about here.

0:54:54.539,0:54:58.039
This is not just giving you another spiritual[br]search.

0:54:58.039,0:55:01.270
It’s not giving you a religion or a set[br]of beliefs.

0:55:01.270,0:55:08.270
It is first of all acknowledging that you[br]have had an essential experience.

0:55:08.270,0:55:11.640
If you haven’t, you don’t know what I[br]am talking about.

0:55:11.640,0:55:12.920
And you will have one.

0:55:12.920,0:55:18.849
You will get one because they are contagious.

0:55:18.849,0:55:19.849
And it’s what you want.

0:55:19.849,0:55:20.849
So you’ll have it.

0:55:20.849,0:55:23.980
You are mind is turned in that direction.

0:55:23.980,0:55:30.670
I would say that 90 to 99% of the people in here[br]have had an essential experience.

0:55:30.670,0:55:36.750
Even if you don’t remember the exact experience,[br]you have an echo of that experience resonating

0:55:36.750,0:55:38.220
in your being.

0:55:38.220,0:55:45.680
Even if that experience happened with some[br]substance, even if that experience happened

0:55:45.680,0:55:51.040
in your sleep, it’s there. That's great.

0:55:51.340,0:55:59.600
Now, what was unchanged even by that experience,[br]by that blessed, hoped for, prayed for

0:55:59.609,0:56:06.059
searched for, worshipped for, worked[br]for experienced, experience.

0:56:06.059,0:56:10.930
What is unchanged by that?

0:56:11.900,0:56:19.080
When you find your Self, you find what is[br]unchanged by any experience.

0:56:19.089,0:56:26.609
Blessedly delivered from hell but unchanged[br]by that delivery.

0:56:26.880,0:56:29.500
You understand this?

0:56:29.500,0:56:36.940
Because otherwise, you will fear hell and[br]you will resist hell and you will hate hell

0:56:36.940,0:56:46.340
and you will spend the rest of your attention[br]in this life story avoiding hell.

0:56:46.500,0:56:51.060
And then that becomes the religion, the avoidance[br]of hell, the avoidance of pain, the avoidance of

0:56:51.180,0:56:58.589
suffering and then the life once again, very superficial[br]only now it is a spiritual superficial life.

0:56:58.589,0:57:03.539
Don’t settle for that.

0:57:03.539,0:57:09.900
The essential experience is the counter balance[br]to the normal experience of plodding through

0:57:09.900,0:57:20.120
life miserably, neurotically, there is an[br]essential experience that penetrates and cuts through.

0:57:20.540,0:57:28.099
How it came to you, I don’t know and I suggest,[br]you don’t know.

0:57:28.099,0:57:31.710
It is very skillful to not know how it came[br]to you.

0:57:31.710,0:57:41.230
By Grace, by luck, some mystery, there[br]is an opening and there is a direct knowing

0:57:41.230,0:57:54.990
of oneself as free- free of the personality[br]or free of the identification or freedom itself.

0:57:55.260,0:58:04.940
(Instrumental music)

0:58:05.040,0:58:17.100
This is the profound teaching of Ramana when[br]he says to Be Still, to be the stillness that you are.

0:58:20.060,0:58:25.700
And this stillness is eternal.

0:58:25.760,0:58:30.059
And it is the sublime nectar of being.

0:58:30.059,0:58:32.359
It’s not a magic potion.

0:58:32.359,0:58:44.639
It won’t keep bad experiences away but it[br]will keep the truth shining regardless of experience.

0:58:44.960,0:58:53.300
It won’t keep your body from aging or keep[br]your body in perfect health always but it

0:58:53.310,0:59:05.859
will keep the radiance and the innocence and[br]the purity of your own nature obvious regardless

0:59:05.860,0:59:10.100
of the state of the body or age.

0:59:11.880,0:59:15.580
It won’t bring you great riches.

0:59:15.589,0:59:20.109
It won’t help you win wars.

0:59:20.260,0:59:30.079
It won’t make you the queen of the world[br]or the king of the universe but it will reveal

0:59:30.079,0:59:41.679
the source of power, which is the resting[br]place, which no war can disrupt,

0:59:41.900,0:59:51.580
which no individual power can touch.

0:59:51.720,1:00:02.600
(instrumental music)

1:00:03.400,1:00:11.599
So in this moment, as we are gathered here[br]with our attention on this if just in this

1:00:11.599,1:00:19.990
moment for just five seconds, thirty seconds[br]you just put aside the whole story of who you

1:00:19.990,1:00:28.430
think you are, the story of your unenlightenment,[br]the story of your enlightenment, the story

1:00:28.430,1:00:33.730
of you don’t have it, the story that somebody else[br]has it, the story that you had a horrible

1:00:33.730,1:00:38.789
childhood, the story that you had a good childhood,[br]the story that you’re beautiful, the story

1:00:38.789,1:00:47.119
that you’re ugly, the story that your superior,[br]the story that you’re inferior, the story

1:00:47.119,1:00:55.079
that you’re brilliant, the story that you’re[br]stupid, just this moment just put it aside.

1:00:55.400,1:00:59.600
Then where does you’re attention go?

1:01:01.100,1:01:06.560
If it doesn’t go anywhere, where does it go?

1:01:07.140,1:01:13.240
Where does it rest?

1:01:15.700,1:01:23.099
This is present always in everybody, in every[br]moment.

1:01:23.099,1:01:27.099
That’s the glorious good news.

1:01:27.099,1:01:42.299
Let your attention rest in itself, in awareness[br]and experience your Self.

1:01:42.520,1:01:46.859
Not to get something, because that is another story.

1:01:46.859,1:01:52.079
Not to keep it because that is a story, not[br]to wake up because that's a story.

1:01:52.280,1:01:57.460
Awareness is awake, it's awake.

1:01:57.470,1:02:08.290
How else would you know you’re asleep if[br]you weren’t awake?

1:02:08.290,1:02:26.230
(instrumental music)