-
So, I don't like to boast,
-
but I am very good at finding things
to be annoyed about.
-
It is a real specialty of mine.
-
I can hear 100 compliments
and a single insult,
-
and what do I remember?
-
The insult.
-
And according to
the research, I'm not alone.
-
Unfortunately, the human brain
is wired to focus on the negative.
-
Now, this might have been helpful
when we were cave people,
-
trying to avoid predators,
-
but now it's a terrible way
to go through life.
-
It is a real major component
of anxiety and depression.
-
So how can we fight
the brain's negative bias?
-
According to a lot of research,
one of the best weapons is gratitude.
-
So knowing this, I started a new tradition
in our house a couple of years ago.
-
Before a meal with my wife and kids,
-
I would say a prayer of thanksgiving.
-
Prayer is not quite the right word.
-
I'm agnostic, so instead of thanking God,
-
I would thank some of the people
who helped make my food a reality.
-
I'd say, "I'd like to thank the farmer
who grew these tomatoes,
-
and the trucker who drove
these tomatoes to the store,
-
and the cashier
who rang these tomatoes up."
-
And I thought it was going
pretty well, this tradition.
-
Then one day, my 10-year-old son said,
-
"You know, Dad, those people
aren't in our apartment.
-
They can't hear you.
-
If you really cared, you would go
and thank them in person."
-
And I thought, "Hmm.
That's an interesting idea."
-
(Laughter)
-
Now I'm a writer, and for my books
I like to go on adventures.
-
Go on quests.
-
So I decided I'm going to take
my son up on his challenge.
-
It seemed simple enough.
-
And to make it even simpler,
-
I decided to focus on just one item.
-
An item I can't live without:
-
my morning cup of coffee.
-
Well, it turned out
to be not so simple at all.
-
(Laughter)
-
This quest took me months.
-
It took me around the world.
-
Because I discovered
that my coffee would not be possible
-
without hundreds of people
I take for granted.
-
So I would thank the trucker
-
who drove the coffee beans
to the coffee shop.
-
But he couldn't have done his job
without the road.
-
So I would thank the people
who paved the road.
-
(Laughter)
-
And then I would thank the people
who made the asphalt for the pavement.
-
And I came to realize that my coffee,
-
like so much else in the world,
-
requires the combined work
-
of a shocking number of people
from all walks of life.
-
Architects, biologists,
designers, miners, goat herds,
-
you name it.
-
I decided to call my project
-
"Thanks a Thousand."
-
Because I ended up
thanking over a thousand people.
-
And it was overwhelming,
but it was also wonderful.
-
Because it allowed me to focus
-
on the hundreds of things
that go right every day,
-
as opposed to the three
or four that go wrong.
-
And it reminded me of the astounding
interconnectedness or our world.
-
I learned dozens of lessons
during this project,
-
but let me just focus on five today.
-
The first is: look up.
-
I started my trail of gratitude
-
by thanking the barista
at my local coffee shop,
-
Joe Coffee in New York.
-
Her name is Chung,
-
and Chung is one of the most
upbeat people you will ever meet.
-
Big smiler, enthusiastic hugger.
-
But even for Chung,
being a barista is hard.
-
And that's because you are encountering
people in a very dangerous state.
-
(Laughter)
-
You know what it is -- precaffeination.
-
(Laughter)
-
So, Chung has had people
yell at her until she cried,
-
including a nine-year-old girl,
-
who didn't like the whipped cream design
that Chung did on her hot chocolate.
-
So I thanked Chung,
-
and she thanked me for thanking her.
-
I cut it off there.
-
I didn't want to go
into an infinite thanking loop.
-
(Laughter)
-
But Chung said that the hardest part
-
is when people don't even treat her
like a human being.
-
They treat her like a vending machine.
-
So, they'll hand her their credit card
-
without even looking up from their phone.
-
And while she's saying this,
I'm realizing I've done that.
-
I've been that a-hole.
-
And at that moment, I pledged:
-
when dealing with people,
I'm going to take those two seconds
-
and look at them, make eye contact.
-
Because it reminds you,
you're dealing with a human being
-
who has family and aspirations
-
and embarrassing high school memories.
-
And that little moment of connection
-
is so important to both people's
humanity and happiness.
-
Alright, second lesson was:
-
smell the roses. And the dirt.
And the fertilizer.
-
After Chung, I thanked this man.
-
This is Ed Kaufmann.
-
And Ed is the one who chooses which coffee
they serve at my local coffee shop.
-
He goes around the world,
to South America, to Africa,
-
finding the best coffee beans.
-
So I thanked Ed.
-
And in return, Ed showed me
how to taste coffee like a pro.
-
And it is quite a ritual.
-
You take your spoon
and you dip it in the coffee
-
and then you take a big, loud slurp.
-
Almost cartoonishly loud.
-
This is because you want
to spray the coffee all over your mouth.
-
You have taste buds
in the side of your cheeks,
-
in the roof of your mouth,
-
you've got to get them all.
-
So Ed would do this
-
and he would --
-
his face would light up and he would say,
-
"This coffee tastes of honey-crisp apple
-
and notes of soil and maple syrup."
-
And I would take a sip and I'd say,
-
"I'm picking up coffee.
-
(Laughter)
-
It tastes to me like coffee."
-
(Laughter)
-
But inspired by Ed, I decided to really
-
let the coffee sit on my tongue
for five seconds --
-
we're all busy,
but I could spare five seconds,
-
and really think about the texture
and the acidity and the sweetness.
-
And I started to do it with other foods.
-
And this idea of savoring
is so important to gratitude.
-
Psychologists talk about how gratitude
-
is about taking a moment
and holding on to it as long as possible.
-
And slowing down time.
-
So that life doesn't go by
in one big blur, as it often does.
-
Number three is:
-
find the hidden masterpieces
all around you.
-
Now, one of my favorite
conversations during this year
-
was with the guy who invented
my coffee cup lid.
-
And until this point,
-
I had given approximately
zero thought to coffee cup lids.
-
But I loved talking
to this inventor, Doug Fleming,
-
because he was so passionate.
-
And the blood and sweat and tears
he put into this lid,
-
and that I had never even considered.
-
He says a bad lid can ruin your coffee.
-
That it can block the aroma,
-
which is so important to the experience.
-
So he -- he's very innovative.
-
He's like the Elon Musk of coffee lids.
-
(Laughter)
-
So he designed this lid
that's got an upside-down hexagon
-
so you can get your nose right in there
and get maximum aroma.
-
And so I was delighted talking to him,
-
and it made me realize there are
hundreds of masterpieces all around us
-
that we totally take for granted.
-
Like the on-off switch on my desk lamp
has a little indentation for my thumb
-
that perfectly fits my thumb.
-
And when something is done well,
-
the process behind it
is largely invisible.
-
But paying attention to it
-
can tap into that sense of wonder
and enrich our lives.
-
Number four is: fake it till you feel it.
-
By the end of the project,
I was just in a thanking frenzy.
-
So I was -- I would get up
and spend a couple hours,
-
I'd write emails, send notes,
-
make phone calls, visit people
-
to thank them for their role in my coffee.
-
And some of them, quite honestly --
-
not that into it.
-
They would be like, "What is this?
-
Is this a pyramid scheme,
what do you want, what are you selling?"
-
But most people were surprisingly moved.
-
I remember, I called the woman
who does the pest control
-
for the warehouse
where my coffee is served --
-
I'm sorry -- where my coffee is stored.
-
And I said,
-
"This may sound strange,
-
but I want to thank you
for keeping the bugs out of my coffee."
-
And she said, "Well,
that does sound strange,
-
but you just made my day."
-
And it was like an anti-crank phone call.
-
And it didn't just affect her,
it affected me.
-
Because I would wake up every morning
in my default mood, which is grumpiness,
-
but I would force myself
to write a thank-you note
-
and then another and then another.
-
And what I found was
that if you act as if you're grateful,
-
you eventually become grateful for real.
-
The power of our actions
to change our mind is astounding.
-
So, often we think
that thought changes behavior,
-
but behavior very often
changes our thought.
-
And finally, the last lesson
I want to tell you about is:
-
practice six degrees of gratitude.
-
And every place, every stop
on this gratitude trail
-
would give birth to 100 other people
that I could thank.
-
So I went down to Colombia to thank
the farmers who grow my coffee beans.
-
And it was in a small mountain town,
-
and I was driven there
along these curvy, cliff-side roads.
-
And every time
we went around a hairpin turn
-
the driver would do the sign of the cross.
-
And I was like, "Thank you for that.
-
(Laughter)
-
But can you do that
while keeping your hands on the wheel?
-
Because I am terrified."
-
But we made it.
-
And I met the farmers,
the Guarnizo brothers.
-
It's a small farm, they make great coffee,
-
they're paid above
fair-trade prices for it.
-
And they showed me
how the coffee is grown.
-
The bean is actually inside
this fruit called the coffee cherry.
-
And I thanked them.
-
And they said,
"Well, we couldn't do our job
-
without 100 other people."
-
The machine that depulps the fruit
is made in Brazil,
-
and the pickup truck
they drive around the farm,
-
that is made from parts
from all over the world.
-
In fact, the US exports steel to Colombia.
-
So I went to Indiana,
and I thanked the steel makers.
-
And it just drove home
-
that it doesn't take a village
to make a cup of coffee.
-
It takes the world
to make a cup of coffee.
-
And this global economy,
this globalization,
-
it does have downsides.
-
But I believe the long-term
upsides are far greater,
-
that progress is real.
-
We have made improvements
in the last 50 years,
-
poverty worldwide has gone down.
-
And that we should resist the temptation
-
to retreat into our silos.
-
And we should resist this upsurge
-
in isolationism and jingoism.
-
Which brings me to my final point.
-
Which is my hope that we use gratitude
as a spark to action.
-
Some people worry
that gratitude has a downside.
-
That we'll be so grateful,
that we'll be complacent.
-
We'll be so, "Oh, everything's
wonderful, I'm so grateful."
-
Well, it turns out, the opposite is true.
-
The research shows
-
that the more grateful you are,
the more likely you are to help others.
-
When you're in a bad state,
-
you're often more focused
on your own needs.
-
But gratitude makes you
want to pay it forward.
-
And I experienced this personally.
-
I mean, I'm not Mother Teresa,
-
I'm still a selfish bastard
a huge amount of the time.
-
But I'm better than I was
before this project.
-
And that's because it made me aware
-
of the exploitation on the supply chain.
-
It reminded me
that what I take for granted
-
is not available to millions
of people around the world.
-
Like water.
-
Coffee is 98.8 percent water.
-
So I figured I should go and thank
the people at the New York reservoir,
-
hundreds of them, who provide me water,
-
and this miracle that I can
turn a lever and get safe water.
-
And that millions of people
around the world don't have this luxury
-
and have to walk hours to get safe water.
-
It inspired me to see what I could do
to help people get more access,
-
and I did research
and found a wonderful group
-
called Dispensers for Safe Water.
-
And I got involved.
-
And I'm not expecting
the Nobel Prize committee
-
to knock down my door,
-
but it's a baby step,
it's a little something.
-
And it's all because of gratitude.
-
And it's why I encourage
people, friends, family,
-
to follow gratitude trails of their own.
-
Because it's a
life-transforming experience.
-
And it doesn't have to be coffee.
-
It could be anything.
-
It could be a pair of socks,
it could be a light bulb.
-
And you don't have to go around the world,
you can just do a little gesture,
-
like make eye contact or send a note
to the designer of a logo you love.
-
It's more about a mindset.
-
Being aware of the thousands of people
involved in every little thing we do.
-
Remembering that
there's someone in a factory
-
who made the fabric for the chairs
you're sitting in right now.
-
That someone went into a mine
and got the copper for this microphone
-
so that I could say my final thank you,
-
which is to thank you.
-
Thank you a thousand
for listening to my story.
-
(Applause)
-
(Cheering)