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(piano music)
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- [Lisa] We're gonna start
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with the Secure Attachment Style.
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If you look at the graphic here,
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remember that the Secure Attachment Style
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has a low level of anxiety
and a low level of avoidance.
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People who are securely attached
believe that they are good
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and that other people are also good.
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In the Secure Attachment
Style, the parental behavior,
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so we're gonna go back
to Mary Ainsworth study,
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looking at how children reacted
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when their parents were in the room
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and how they react when
their parents leave the room,
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when the stranger comes in
and when the parent returns.
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So parental behaviors that
develop Secure Attachment are,
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the parents played more
with their children,
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they positively attune to the child,
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so as to provide a save
haven, a secure base,
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positive attention and affection.
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They react more quickly to child's need,
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and they are more responsive
to the child's needs.
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This results in a child who,
when they separate temporarily
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from the parent, they do
not have fear or anxiety,
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they seek comfort from the
parent when frightened,
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and they respond with positive emotions
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when the parent returns.
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They prefer the parent to the stranger.
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The next Attachment Style
is Anxious Attachment,
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and if you'll notice on the chart,
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the Anxious Attached person
has a higher level of anxiety
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in relationship, they have
a low level of avoidance
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of relationship.
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They believe that they are
bad and that others are good.
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The parental behaviors that promote
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Anxious-Insecure
Attachment is when a parent
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or parental figure tends to
their child inconsistently.
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They attune to their child inconsistently.
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They create an experience of
emotional see-saw for the child
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meeting the child's needs sometimes
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and not meeting the
child's needs other times.
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As a result, the child
starts to distrust strangers
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even when the parent is nearby.
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They get anxious, they become distressed
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when the parent leaves, and
they continue to be distressed
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not experiencing comfort
even when the parent returns.
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They can't trust that the
parent will be a secure base
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and a safe haven.
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The third Attachment Style
is Avoidant Attachment Style.
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This is where there is low anxiety,
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there's high avoidance of relationship.
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They believe that they are
good but that others are bad.
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Parental behaviors that foster
an Avoidant Attachment Style
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are when the parent or parental figure
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is emotionally unavailable to the child.
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When the parent is insensitive
to the child's needs,
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and the parent can sometimes
become even hostile
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to the child's needs, frustrated
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and irritable when the
child needs something.
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This results in the child
distancing themselves
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from the parental figures emotionally
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and even physically at times.
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The child does not ask or seek comfort
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even from the parent,
the child shows little
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or no preference between
the parent and the stranger,
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and the child begins to want
to do everything themselves.
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The fourth Attachment
Style is the Disorganized
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Attachment Style.
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This is where there's high
anxiety and high avoidance.
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The person believes that they are bad
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and that others are also bad.
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Parental behaviors that lead
to Disorganized Attachment
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are, they give both fear
and reassurance to the child
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often at the same time.
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The child feels both comfort and fear,
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resulting in confusion, and the parent
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gives an impossible to resolve situation.
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For instance, the parent
will ask the child
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to sweep the floor, but
when the child does so,
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the parent is overly critical,
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and may even put the child down
for not doing a better job.
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This is a no-win situation.
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Disorganized Attachment
Style often develops
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where there is trauma in a child's life.
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The result of the parental behaviors
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is a child who has mixed
behaviors, simultaneously desiring
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and avoiding closeness to the parent.
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They greatly distrust others,
even their own parents,
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and they worry that others,
even my own parents will hurt me
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(piano music)
