(piano music)
- [Lisa] We're gonna start
with the Secure Attachment Style.
If you look at the graphic here,
remember that the Secure Attachment Style
has a low level of anxiety and a low level of avoidance.
People who are securely attached believe that they are good
and that other people are also good.
In the Secure Attachment Style, the parental behavior,
so we're gonna go back to Mary Ainsworth study,
looking at how children reacted
when their parents were in the room
and how they react when their parents leave the room,
when the stranger comes in and when the parent returns.
So parental behaviors that develop Secure Attachment are,
the parents played more with their children,
they positively attune to the child,
so as to provide a save haven, a secure base,
positive attention and affection.
They react more quickly to child's need,
and they are more responsive to the child's needs.
This results in a child who, when they separate temporarily
from the parent, they do not have fear or anxiety,
they seek comfort from the parent when frightened,
and they respond with positive emotions
when the parent returns.
They prefer the parent to the stranger.
The next Attachment Style is Anxious Attachment,
and if you'll notice on the chart,
the Anxious Attached person has a higher level of anxiety
in relationship, they have a low level of avoidance
of relationship.
They believe that they are bad and that others are good.
The parental behaviors that promote
Anxious-Insecure Attachment is when a parent
or parental figure tends to their child inconsistently.
They attune to their child inconsistently.
They create an experience of emotional see-saw for the child
meeting the child's needs sometimes
and not meeting the child's needs other times.
As a result, the child starts to distrust strangers
even when the parent is nearby.
They get anxious, they become distressed
when the parent leaves, and they continue to be distressed
not experiencing comfort even when the parent returns.
They can't trust that the parent will be a secure base
and a safe haven.
The third Attachment Style is Avoidant Attachment Style.
This is where there is low anxiety,
there's high avoidance of relationship.
They believe that they are good but that others are bad.
Parental behaviors that foster an Avoidant Attachment Style
are when the parent or parental figure
is emotionally unavailable to the child.
When the parent is insensitive to the child's needs,
and the parent can sometimes become even hostile
to the child's needs, frustrated
and irritable when the child needs something.
This results in the child distancing themselves
from the parental figures emotionally
and even physically at times.
The child does not ask or seek comfort
even from the parent, the child shows little
or no preference between the parent and the stranger,
and the child begins to want to do everything themselves.
The fourth Attachment Style is the Disorganized
Attachment Style.
This is where there's high anxiety and high avoidance.
The person believes that they are bad
and that others are also bad.
Parental behaviors that lead to Disorganized Attachment
are, they give both fear and reassurance to the child
often at the same time.
The child feels both comfort and fear,
resulting in confusion, and the parent
gives an impossible to resolve situation.
For instance, the parent will ask the child
to sweep the floor, but when the child does so,
the parent is overly critical,
and may even put the child down for not doing a better job.
This is a no-win situation.
Disorganized Attachment Style often develops
where there is trauma in a child's life.
The result of the parental behaviors
is a child who has mixed behaviors, simultaneously desiring
and avoiding closeness to the parent.
They greatly distrust others, even their own parents,
and they worry that others, even my own parents will hurt me
(piano music)