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I wanted to share with you how my Autism helps me connect with animals...
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It's happening right now...
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There's s squirrel outside the window and he's upset...
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about...
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..an acorn.
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Okay, it's not THAT kind of connection....
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(Music, scribbling noises, animal calls, bird song, bees buzzing)
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Hi, it's Emily from BiteSizeVegan.org, where you can find free
resources, eCourses, kids' content,
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and a Guided Search to help you find just what you need,
even if you don't know what to ask!
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I've wanted to speak on this topic for some time now,
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but I'm honestly worried I won't be able to do it justice.
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I know I won't be able to convey everything I want to convey,
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but I wanted to try, best I can.
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I do want to be clear that I do not speak for all Autistics.
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I am sharing my own personal experience.
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Every Autistic person is different.
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I didn't know I was Autistic until my thirties.
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Looking back, I believe my Autism has been an integral
factor in my connecting with non-human animals.
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I’m far from the first Autistic person to draw this association.
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Perhaps the most prominent voice on this topic
is animal behaviorist Temple Grandin,
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who has spent decades designing slaughterhouse equipment.
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Grandin has written extensively on how being
Autistic allows her to put herself in the place of animals;
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how she can understand how they think, what scares
them, what makes them feel safe.
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And, how she uses that profound connection to design
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“better” and “friendlier” ways to systematically slaughter them.
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I, on the other hand, arrived at a different conclusion.
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It never once occurred to me that non-human
animals don't have thoughts, emotions, desires,
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and rich interior lives all their own.
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While I didn't know it at the time, looking
back, I believe this was due to my own Autistic experience.
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My entire life, I've felt like everyone had some manual that I’d failed to receive.
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Human interaction and communication is utterly baffling to me.
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Growing up, out of necessity, I became something of a child anthropologist—
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observing the behavior of the people around me and
doing my best to approximate what I thought was expected.
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Navigating everyday interactions was—and is—exhausting.
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This was made all the more distressing by
the fact that I felt everything so intensely.
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There was so much I was experiencing and wanted
to communicate—yet it was impossible to
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translate it out to those around me.
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But, just because I couldn't express everything
in a way others could understand, didn't mean
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I wasn't going through it.
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I assumed this was the same for others—
human and non-human alike.
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That just because non-human animals couldn't
speak in a way humans could fully understand,
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didn't mean they weren't capable of thought,
emotion, or communication.
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In fact, I was certain they were communicating.
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Just as I was.
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It was only that humans couldn't understand
their language at the level they could,
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just as people around me couldn't understand mine.
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I knew how profoundly frustrating, isolating
and demoralizing it was to be unable to convey
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what I wanted to convey.
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I knew how it felt to never be truly understood.
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And it broke my heart thinking of what non-human
animals were experiencing at the hands of humans;
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that, no matter how desperately and
clearly they communicated their terror and pain,
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they were ignored and discounted.
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Honestly, I think most people do connect with
non-human animals in their childhood.
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If you put a piglet or chicken in front of
a child, they will want to play with them.
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But we're taught to conditionally sever this connection.
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This animal is okay to love, this animal is okay to eat.
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Love Babe the pig, but eat bacon.
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Watch Finding Nemo, but eat fish.
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Love dogs, eat cows.
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Over time we separate ourselves from the most
fundamental truth we knew inherently as kids:
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that it's not okay to hurt others.
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For me, this separation never seemed to fully take.
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One of the most troubling—and, frankly offensive—theories about Autism
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is that Autistic people are deficient or totally lacking in empathy.
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More recent theories of Autism propose that the exact opposite is true:
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that "rather than being oblivious, autistic people take in too much and learn too fast.
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[That] they are actually overwhelmed not only by their own emotions,
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but by the emotions of others."
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This is certainly the case for me.
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As odd as it may sound, I empathize to a debilitating degree.
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I can't help but put myself in the place of others, including non-human animals.
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Growing up, I assumed that others did this
as well, which made cruel or even simply inconsiderate
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behavior seem all the more menacing.
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I couldn't understand how people could knowingly
harm one another and other sentient beings.
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I couldn’t understand how they could be so seemingly disconnected.
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How could they not recognize the piercing
screams of pigs being lowered into a gas chamber
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as an expression of pain.
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How could they not recognize the cries of a mother cow in the dairy industry
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after her calf has been ripped from her side as an expression of grief and anguish.
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I couldn't understand why so many people didn't
appear to see what seemed so clear to me.
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And honestly, it hardened me some to humanity,
because I assumed it was intentional blindness
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You see, my brain doesn't filter things the way most peoples' brains do.
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Once I become aware of something, I have no way of turning it off.
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I essentially take in everything all at once, all the time.
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I feel everything all at once, all the time.
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For me, everyday life is often neurologically traumatic.
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While certainly exhausting and challenging,
I believe this aspect of my neurology eventually
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led me to a better understanding of the disconnect
many people have when it comes to non-human animals.
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As well as the resistance many people have to going vegan.
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Truly confronting what sentient being are subjected to
for our dietary choices is itself traumatic.
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It's ripping off the blinders and seeing what you can never unsee.
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As someone who has no ability to filter,
I understand how extremely painful it is to
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suddenly be overwhelmed by the suffering all around you
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—in every glass of milk, cut of meat, and carton of eggs.
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And I understand why someone would resist that pain of awareness.
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So, eventually, rather than viewing non-vegan resistance as
willful blindness, ignorance or uncaring,
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I began to see the majority as springing from understandable self-preservation.
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Now, recognizing the obvious emotionality of non-human
animals is often criticized as anthropomorphizing
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— meaning attributing human emotions and intentions to non-human animals.
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But there is a stark difference between personifying
animals and striving to see from their perspective.
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We humans have a tendency to define everything
through our own lens of reference.
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This is understandable in many ways given
it's the only lens we've ever seen through.
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However, it's a highly problematic approach that
invalidates the experiences of everyone unlike ourselves.
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An example of this within our own species
is the history of our understanding of Autism.
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Autistics were—and often still are—ranked by levels of functioning,
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with non-verbal Autistics generally labeled as "low-functioning."
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This is a perfect illustration of assessing
the Autistic person through a non-Autistic lens:
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just because someone is non-verbal doesn't
mean they cannot or are not communicating.
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Of course, if a non-verbal Autistic puts things
into an accepted format, like the written word,
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suddenly their level of functioning
and validity of experience is reconsidered.
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In a similar manner, we are consistently astounded
by non-human animals’ emotional capacities.
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Every now and again there’s a new article
or study expounding upon the amazing possibility
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that animals experience complex emotions,
or are far more intelligent than we once thought.
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Yet somehow, despite this happening time and again,
we don’t take these revelations to their ultimate conclusion:
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that animals obviously possess multifaceted inner lives that we are not privy to.
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They have been thinking and feeling long before we were able to "prove" it
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within our own framework of understanding.
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The same, unfortunately, holds true for pain perception.
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Humans have long carried out horrific experiments
to determine if animals feel pain.
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For the centuries that humans have been hurting
animals to prove for ourselves that they could feel,
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they were feeling.
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So, why not assume that they do feel?
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Why not assume that they do emote?
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Why should they have to suffer to prove to us within our own limited understanding
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that they are sentient beings?
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I've really struggled with putting this video together.
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There is so very much I wanted to convey that I'm simply unable to.
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While I am verbal, the process it takes for
me to put things into words is extremely difficult.
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And honestly, words can't help but fail to
fully capture what I'm meaning to express.
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While I think my experience of feeling more at ease and
connected with non-human animals is hardly unique,
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I do believe that animals—in many ways—have
helped me survive being Autistic in a non-Autistic world.
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And I cannot help but try to advocate for them.
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Not to be their voice, nor speak for them.
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They have voices all their own.
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They communicate quite effectively.
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We... just don't listen.
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While this video isn't everything I wanted it to be,
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I hope at the very least that sharing how I see the world differently
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may help others begin to think differently.
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Now go live vegan, and I'll see you soon.