How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan -
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0:00 - 0:04I've said it before and
I'm gonna say it again, -
0:04 - 0:07Everyone on this earth has needs.
-
0:07 - 0:10It doesn't matter whether you
want to have needs or not, -
0:10 - 0:11you have them.
-
0:11 - 0:14A need is something that
is required in order to live, -
0:14 - 0:16succeed or be happy.
-
0:16 - 0:18And here's the thing about needs:
-
0:18 - 0:20you can't unneed them.
-
0:20 - 0:24You can't decide that something
you need is not required. -
0:24 - 0:26You can't talk yourself out of it.
-
0:26 - 0:29Your one option, when it
comes to having a need, -
0:29 - 0:31is to meet it.
-
0:49 - 0:53How to Meet an Unmet Need
-
0:54 - 0:56But this is easier said than done.
-
0:56 - 0:58Why is it easier said than done?
-
0:58 - 1:00Because we so often
have aspects of us -
1:00 - 1:02that are standing in a way
of having the need met. -
1:02 - 1:04This is not natural.
-
1:04 - 1:07You are born understanding
that your need will be met -
1:07 - 1:08and that it will be easy.
-
1:08 - 1:11A baby is not born panicking
that it will not get milk, -
1:11 - 1:13or worrying about having
its diaper change. -
1:13 - 1:16To a baby, being cuddled is
not an impossible dream. -
1:16 - 1:18We learn through our trauma
in our life experience, -
1:18 - 1:20that our need will not be met,
-
1:20 - 1:22and worse than that,
that our needs are not OK. -
1:22 - 1:24A common pattern that we have
-
1:24 - 1:27is we go to the places where
our needs can't be met, -
1:27 - 1:29in order to get our needs met.
-
1:29 - 1:32It's a little bit like going
to an auto-repair shop -
1:32 - 1:34when you wanna shop for food.
-
1:34 - 1:36Or it's the person who wants desperately
-
1:36 - 1:39to have a loving connective partnership
-
1:39 - 1:42and yet directly opts for partners
-
1:42 - 1:45who are unavailable,
who are avoidant in nature. -
1:45 - 1:48The primary need in all beings
-
1:48 - 1:51is the need for love.
-
1:51 - 1:53But what's standing in the way
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1:53 - 1:55of us being able to get this need met?
-
1:55 - 1:57Oftentimes, it's thoughts like:
-
1:57 - 2:01"Love is not actually ever
going to come to me." -
2:01 - 2:02It's thoughts like:
-
2:02 - 2:04"Love is dangerous."
-
2:04 - 2:05If, in our life experience,
-
2:05 - 2:09we experience love in a
context of ulterior motives, -
2:09 - 2:11we develop a belief,
-
2:11 - 2:14that's embedded in our bodies,
-
2:14 - 2:18that says, that love cannot
ever happen without a catch. -
2:18 - 2:21Because of these types of barriers to love,
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2:21 - 2:25we do not allow in the very thing
we need and want so desperately. -
2:25 - 2:27From this state, so often,
-
2:27 - 2:29we are the person who's
starving for food, -
2:29 - 2:31in a grocery store, convinced
there's nothing to eat. -
2:31 - 2:33The people in our
life can see that -
2:33 - 2:36they are giving us the very
thing we need and want, -
2:36 - 2:37but we can't take it in.
-
2:37 - 2:40We have to become
aware of what we need. -
2:40 - 2:44To do this, we have to
be able to recognize, -
2:44 - 2:46the feeling of dissatisfaction,
-
2:46 - 2:53craving, wanting, emptiness, desperation.
-
2:53 - 2:55For this very reason,
-
2:55 - 2:57if you're having a difficult time feeling,
-
2:57 - 2:59you obviously won't be able to feel
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2:59 - 3:01when you feel those feelings.
-
3:01 - 3:04So the first step is to watch
my video on YouTube titled: -
3:04 - 3:06How to Feel
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3:06 - 3:08Once you watch that video,
-
3:08 - 3:10and you start practicing how to feel,
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3:10 - 3:13and you start to notice those sensations
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3:13 - 3:18of craving, of wanting,
of emptiness, of lack, -
3:18 - 3:21you look to the opposite side of that
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3:21 - 3:23for what it is that you're lacking,
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3:23 - 3:25what it is that you're craving,
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3:25 - 3:28what it is that you're wanting.
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3:28 - 3:30Some of our needs are
quite simple to meet. -
3:30 - 3:32For most of us in the Western world,
-
3:32 - 3:36we don't fly into a frenzy
when we feel hunger. -
3:36 - 3:38Why? Because we know
it's just as simple -
3:38 - 3:41as going to a grocery store,
or going to our own fridge. -
3:41 - 3:44However, if you're raised
in a Third World country, -
3:44 - 3:46where it was difficult to find food,
-
3:46 - 3:51you can bet, that when you feel
that feeling of craving for food, -
3:51 - 3:53it comes with a lot of resistance.
-
3:53 - 3:55Resistance because you don't believe
-
3:55 - 3:59that need will actually be met.
-
3:59 - 4:02Now, this is in the Western World,
-
4:02 - 4:05much different, when it
comes to emotional needs. -
4:05 - 4:07We live in a day and age
-
4:07 - 4:11where most of our emotional
needs simply are not met. -
4:11 - 4:13And so, when we feel
an emotional need, -
4:13 - 4:15we have the same reaction
-
4:15 - 4:17as somebody who would
be starving for food. -
4:17 - 4:19We are completely convinced
-
4:19 - 4:21that there's no way to
get that need met. -
4:21 - 4:23So we start to panic,
-
4:23 - 4:24we start to go into lack,
-
4:24 - 4:27we start to feel as if there is no way
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4:27 - 4:29that we're going to be able to satisfy
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4:29 - 4:31those negative feelings within us.
-
4:31 - 4:35We are not going to be able to go
in the direction of what we need. -
4:35 - 4:36We don't even know how.
-
4:36 - 4:39I want you to understand that trauma,
-
4:39 - 4:40at its fundamental level,
-
4:40 - 4:42is the experience of
lacking something -
4:42 - 4:45that we need and want.
-
4:45 - 4:48Particularly when it applies
to emotional needs. -
4:48 - 4:53So, once you have identified
what your unmet need is, -
4:53 - 4:56that need you feel
is difficult to fulfill, -
4:56 - 5:00I want you to ask yourself
the following question: -
5:00 - 5:04"What would I have to
give up in order to have ...?" -
5:04 - 5:06fill in the blank with what you need.
-
5:06 - 5:08For example, for me
to be able to feel love -
5:08 - 5:10when I'm sitting in the
room with someone, -
5:10 - 5:13I would have to give up my
belief that love is dangerous. -
5:13 - 5:15I would have to give up
my constant thinking, -
5:15 - 5:17because my mind brings
me out of my body, -
5:17 - 5:21so I can't feel connection to people
as real people in the room. -
5:21 - 5:24I would have to give up the story
that I always lose what I love. -
5:24 - 5:26I would have to give up
sending text messages -
5:26 - 5:28to that person who
never sends any back. -
5:28 - 5:31Keep in mind that, anywhere
we have an identification, -
5:31 - 5:34anywhere our identity is
wrapped up in a state -
5:34 - 5:36of being, or behaviour, or thought
-
5:36 - 5:39that causes one of our
needs to not be met, -
5:39 - 5:41we will have to come up against
-
5:41 - 5:44and let go of, our
own sense of identity, -
5:44 - 5:46which feels like a life
and death choice, -
5:46 - 5:48in order to meet that need.
-
5:48 - 5:50For example,
-
5:50 - 5:52let's say that you are
the family scapegoat. -
5:52 - 5:54If you are a family scapegoat,
-
5:54 - 5:57you grew up developing an identity
-
5:57 - 5:59that you are bad and wrong.
-
5:59 - 6:01You didn't want to be that way,
-
6:01 - 6:03but the ego (the ID),
-
6:03 - 6:07became attached to the concept
of being bad and wrong. -
6:07 - 6:08So let's say that you want love,
-
6:08 - 6:11love is a direct contradiction to shame,
-
6:11 - 6:14which is feeling like something
about you is bad and wrong. -
6:14 - 6:16So, when you go to get love,
-
6:16 - 6:19instantly your very ego is going
to fight against that love, -
6:19 - 6:23because it will perceive that
love as a death of itself. -
6:23 - 6:26The mental understanding of
what you have to give up -
6:26 - 6:30in order to get needs met
and actions you can take, -
6:30 - 6:32is absolutely no comparison,
-
6:32 - 6:36to the actual physical experience,
-
6:36 - 6:40of being able to feel
that need being met. -
6:40 - 6:42And you can actually do this.
-
6:42 - 6:44I'm gonna teach you how.
-
6:44 - 6:46For example,
-
6:46 - 6:48let's say that you want connection.
-
6:48 - 6:51Obviously, my best bet of
getting this need met, -
6:51 - 6:53is to find someone who
also wants connection. -
6:53 - 6:55So let's say I find that person,
-
6:55 - 6:58I sit down across them in a room.
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6:58 - 7:01What I do is I focus all of my attention
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7:01 - 7:04on them and only them.
-
7:04 - 7:07I feel myself open up to them
on an energetic level. -
7:07 - 7:12I may open up even verbally
by talking to them, -
7:12 - 7:15(If talking doesn't take
me out of connection). -
7:15 - 7:19And what I do is I watch the
resistance that I have to that. -
7:19 - 7:21I watch how my mind
wants to take me away. -
7:21 - 7:23I watch the thoughts
that come in like: -
7:23 - 7:25"This is not OK,
-
7:25 - 7:27the only reason that this
person is here right now, -
7:27 - 7:30is because of...
some ulterior motive." -
7:30 - 7:33You want to watch the
ways that your own being -
7:33 - 7:35resists the very thing you want.
-
7:35 - 7:38Stay with that resistance long enough
-
7:38 - 7:40that the resistance
itself begins to settle, -
7:40 - 7:44and you start to feel yourself go
into more of a vulnerable state. -
7:44 - 7:48Once you notice where in your
body you can't feel connection, -
7:48 - 7:53switch your focus to where in
your body you can feel connection. -
7:53 - 7:54Pay attention to your heart.
-
7:54 - 7:56Can you feel it there?
-
7:56 - 7:58If not, can you feel in your skin?
-
7:58 - 8:01If not, is there a part of your
body like even your knee, -
8:01 - 8:04where you can actually
feel that connection? -
8:04 - 8:05From there,
-
8:05 - 8:08you wanna bring that
sensation of the connection, -
8:08 - 8:11as far and deep into your body
and through your whole body, -
8:11 - 8:13as you possibly can.
-
8:13 - 8:16Or let's say that what
you want is abundance. -
8:16 - 8:18Go to a place that's super fancy,
-
8:18 - 8:21something that symbolizes
wealth, for you. -
8:21 - 8:23Sit there and try to feel like a king,
-
8:23 - 8:25try to feel like you own it,
-
8:25 - 8:28try to feel that sensation that
you have so much money -
8:28 - 8:32that you literally can't find
enough stuff to spend it on. -
8:32 - 8:35When you do this, I want you to watch
-
8:35 - 8:38the resistance that comes
up in your body. -
8:38 - 8:40What kind of thoughts
are trying to tell you: -
8:40 - 8:41"That this is not the case."
-
8:41 - 8:44"This is not what you deserve."
"This is not the reality." -
8:44 - 8:48Anything that is getting in the way
of you actually having access -
8:48 - 8:50to that feeling within your body.
-
8:50 - 8:53Stay with that as long as you can,
-
8:53 - 8:57until those thoughts and that
resistance starts to settle. -
8:57 - 9:01And you feel yourself sort of opening
towards that feeling of abundance. -
9:01 - 9:04Once you notice where in your body
-
9:04 - 9:06you can't feel abundance,
-
9:06 - 9:09switch your focus to where
you can feel abundance. -
9:09 - 9:11So maybe you can't
feel it in your chest, -
9:11 - 9:14maybe it's closed off to
that sensation of having -
9:14 - 9:16lots and lots and lots of money.
-
9:16 - 9:19But maybe in your arms,
you do actually feel -
9:19 - 9:21that feeling of expansion,
that feeling of abundance, -
9:21 - 9:23that feeling of wealth.
-
9:23 - 9:25Put all your focus there,
-
9:25 - 9:28and spread that through
your entire body if you can. -
9:28 - 9:32I did a video a while back
called: "Feeling Signatures". -
9:32 - 9:35If you haven't watched that video,
I highly suggest you watch it. -
9:35 - 9:38Or even if you have,
go watch it again. -
9:38 - 9:42Because I explained how people
can use feeling signatures -
9:42 - 9:44to make themselves feel better.
-
9:44 - 9:47But as it applies to meeting
the unmet needs, -
9:47 - 9:49it is so valuable.
-
9:49 - 9:52So for example, let's say that
what I want is belonging. -
9:52 - 9:55But I haven't really had a
direct access with belonging. -
9:55 - 9:58And so how do I know
what that feels like? -
9:58 - 10:01What I do, is I look for some
experience I've had in the past, -
10:01 - 10:03that was the closest
-
10:03 - 10:06to what I think belonging
might have felt like. -
10:06 - 10:08So let's say, for me,
-
10:08 - 10:10the closest I got to belonging
-
10:10 - 10:13was this memory I have of
roasting marshmallows -
10:13 - 10:14over a campfire.
-
10:14 - 10:17What I do is I take my
attention and I place it -
10:17 - 10:21fully and totally
(like in a meditation), -
10:21 - 10:24on that memory,
on that experience, -
10:24 - 10:27on the feeling of marshmallows.
-
10:27 - 10:29When I feel that in my body,
-
10:29 - 10:30I spread that sensation
-
10:30 - 10:33through every cell,
into my bone marrow -
10:33 - 10:35around every single organ.
-
10:35 - 10:40I use that sensation as a
resource for belonging. -
10:41 - 10:43The reality of this universe
-
10:43 - 10:45is that it's governed by
the Law of Attraction. -
10:45 - 10:48Things of like frequency
match and coalesce. -
10:48 - 10:51This is the real reason that
people who are born wealthy -
10:51 - 10:52have no problem creating wealth.
-
10:52 - 10:55They do not often have
many thoughts or actions, -
10:55 - 10:58or life experiences that contradict
the frequency of wealth. -
10:58 - 11:00In the absence of the contradiction
-
11:00 - 11:03nothing is preventing them
from manifesting that need -
11:03 - 11:04immediately.
-
11:04 - 11:06When you release resistance
-
11:06 - 11:09to the things that are preventing
you from having what you need, -
11:09 - 11:12when you give up what you have to
give up, in order to get a need met, -
11:12 - 11:16you can allow yourself to feel the
opposite vibration of that lack. -
11:16 - 11:19When you feel the opposite
thing, the thing you need, -
11:19 - 11:20and even more than that,
-
11:20 - 11:22when you recognize that
you are feeling it, -
11:22 - 11:25so it becomes real to your embodiment,
-
11:25 - 11:27the need is being met.
-
11:27 - 11:30Now, in a Law of
Attraction-based universe, -
11:30 - 11:32when that need starts getting
met on that very deep, -
11:32 - 11:35visceral, emotional and embodied level,
-
11:35 - 11:37the Law of Attraction must respond to it.
-
11:37 - 11:40It responds by bringing
this need to you -
11:40 - 11:42in ever increasing ways.
-
11:42 - 11:44It lines you up with the people
-
11:44 - 11:46who can meet those needs.
-
11:46 - 11:48It lines you up with ways
-
11:48 - 11:50that you can meet
your own needs. -
11:50 - 11:52It makes you coalesce
-
11:52 - 11:55with the circumstances,
to bring about the goals, -
11:55 - 11:57that you want to achieve.
-
11:57 - 12:00It's almost like the Universe
lays the path out -
12:00 - 12:02for you to get those needs met.
-
12:02 - 12:03And it's no longer a question,
-
12:03 - 12:07because the "how" is done for you.
-
12:07 - 12:09Once you start this practise
-
12:09 - 12:11of meeting your unmet needs,
-
12:11 - 12:14especially those that you
feel are out of your reach, -
12:14 - 12:17there will no longer be
a lack within your being. -
12:17 - 12:21You will be restored to
a state of wholeness. -
12:21 - 12:23Have a good week.
-
12:36 - 12:39Subtitles by: Krzysztof Piotrowski
& Tanya Duarte
- Title:
- How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan -
- Description:
-
Do you have unmet needs? This Ask Teal Episode is about How to Meet your needs and get what you want. What's the difference between needs and wants? The difference between needs and wants is sometimes merely a difference between subconscious and conscious.
Teal Swan is an International Spiritual Leader. She offers perspective on a wide range of topics including relationships, anxiety, meditation, shadow work, the law of attraction, The Completion Process, healing, PTSD, emotions and spirituality.
Subscribe to Teal’s newsletters here: http://thespiritualcatalyst.us6.list-manage2.com/subscribe?u=a0c9fbd5534138eb374993029&id=bebf0eebc3
Teal's Web page: http://tealswan.com/
Teal's Meditations: http://www.jointeallive.com/meditations/
Teal's e-shop: https://gumroad.com/tealswanhttp://www.askteal.com
Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel - Video Language:
- English
- Duration:
- 12:39
Tanya Duarte edited English subtitles for How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan - | ||
Tanya Duarte edited English subtitles for How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan - | ||
Tanya Duarte edited English subtitles for How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan - | ||
Tanya Duarte edited English subtitles for How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan - | ||
Tanya Duarte edited English subtitles for How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan - | ||
Krzysztof Piotrowski edited English subtitles for How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan - | ||
Krzysztof Piotrowski edited English subtitles for How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan - | ||
Krzysztof Piotrowski edited English subtitles for How To Meet Your Unmet Needs - Teal Swan - |