Social Media Isn't Real (Even if it Looks Like it is) | Samantha Cohen | TEDxYouth@SRDS

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[applause]

Social media is a drug,

and I, like so many people today,
am totally addicted.

I'm addicted to scrolling.

I'm addicted to making every account
on every social media site look perfect.

I'm addicted to liking, to commenting,

to seeing photos of random celebrities,
to seeing drama of random celebrities,

and to refreshing the same page
over and over again.

And with every drug comes a high--

a moment when one feels
they're on top of the world

and nothing can stop them...

until everything just comes
crashing down again.

For me, even if the picture I've posted
looks nothing like me or isn't real at all,

when the likes and the comments
start pouring in, that's the high.

I feel people MUST like me,
my self-esteem goes up,

and I feel this temporary happiness
and this temporary joy...

until a couple hours pass by

and the likes and the
comments slow down,

and me and my self-esteem
just kind of go crashing down again.

Social media can slash
down your confidence

and, in a fraction of a second, make you feel
like the loneliest person in the world.

And this is a problem that persists now
within our modern society.

With a couple of taps
on a smartphone,

anyone can make any account
on almost any social media site

and make up a whole life
that they don't even have.

And as our technology gets
better every single day,

it becomes easier and easier
for people to post a picture

where they look
20 pounds skinnier,

to Photoshop themselves
into a party they never went to,

or in more extreme cases,
do things like this,

where they put a toilet seat
up against a window

so it looks like they're going
on an exotic vacation,

even if they're actually not.

This phenomenon is
particularly prominent

in what is now known as
"influencers" on social media.

Influencers look like
they live the amazing life.

They are usually on any social media platform
(but specifically Instagram and YouTube)

and have millions of
followers or subscribers.

As I said before,
their life looks perfect

and even companies use them to
promote products for easy advertising.

Looking at a social
media influencer

can make the average person
feel pretty insecure at times.

An example of one of these
influencers is James Charles

[audience members cheer
and Sam chuckles]

a 19-year-old makeup artist
with over 15 million followers.

I'll admit it: He doesn't look bad
on any single photo on his Instagram.

HIs makeup is always flawless

and he never shows you the time or
the money it takes to put all that on,

so it looks quick and easy
and like he did it in a minute.

Another one,
Hailey Baldwin Bieber.

She has over 18.3 million followers
and she posts pictures of herself

on the most beautiful
beaches in the world.

Spoiler alert: Nobody
wakes up and looks like that.

It takes time, energy, money,
and so many different resources.

And I'm not a fancy influencer
but I'll admit, I do it myself.

I mean, I know this talk is probably gonna
be shared somewhere on the internet,

so I dressed up
better than I normally do.

In real life,
my hair is large and curly,

I wear glasses, and I prefer to wear
big sweatshirts over anything else,

but on every single
photo on my Instagram,

my hair has been straightened,
I have my contacts in, my makeup's done,

and I'm dressed up
far better than I do regularly.

Me, influencers,
and so many other people now

only put on Instagram what
we want other people to see.

When you're scrolling
through Instagram,

you only see what the Instagrammer
has specifically designed,

specific moments in their time

when they're looking happy
and they're dressed up

and no one has to see
any other part of their life.

According to sociologist Julia Albright
from University of Southern California,

"People's persona online may be
much more fabulous, much more exciting

than the everyday life
that they're leading."

And this isn't a problem
just for teenagers anymore.

I mean, my grandparents
have Facebook.

I was born in 2001 on this weird,
Generation Z/Millennial cusp,

and I'll find that I spend hours
on Instagram and Snapchat

and just end up
feeling sorry for myself.

I wonder why people I haven't
even spoken to in years

look like they have their
entire life together and I don't.

I wonder why it looks like
everyone's having the best time ever,

and with these photos quite
literally in my face all the time,

it's so easy to wonder:
"Why am I not that pretty?"

"Why am I not that skinny?" or
"Why am I not that popular or cool?"

I had a conversation with
a teacher of mine, as well,

a millennial, who says one of the worst parts
about social media is going onto Facebook

and seeing people she used to go to high
school with now raising their own families.

This makes her wonder:
Is she raising her family right?

And how can she make
her son just as good

or even better than every single
other kid she sees on Facebook?

And I've seen it in my
little sister too, Generation Z.

I see her swiping
through Snapchat,

wondering how it looks like every
other middle schooler in the world

is the most secure
person in the world.

(We all know that's
probably not true.)

Although social media
can make us so lonely,

it's so easy to feel alone when it looks
like every other person has it together

and you feel like you don't.

So it shouldn't take any big scientific
discovery to promote the claim

that social media has detrimental
effects on our mental health,

but scientists have done the study
and it has proven true.

Melissa G. Hunt from University
of Pennsylvania stated

that using less social media
than you normally do would lead

to significant decreases in
both depression and loneliness.

And George Aalbers from
University of Amsterdam stated:

"...passive media use...
co-occurred

with a loss of interest, concentration
problems, fatigue, and loneliness."

So what do we do?

We can't just avoid social media.
It's everywhere.

It's on our news, it's in our schools,
it's in our homes, it's in our workplaces.

It's impossible to just forget about it,

but it has given us a huge
advantage in some ways.

We have the ability to communicate
more than ever before, and that's amazing.

I'm about to go to college

and I've talked with people
from all around the world

that I'll be going to
school with next year,

and I've talked with my
roommate so many times.

When my parents went to college,

they had no idea who they'd
be living with for the next year.

And my TED Talks from the past two years
have been put on YouTube,

and my message about mental health has
spread to people who I will never know.

So in the words of Stan Lee and
his favorite comic book, "Spiderman,"

"With great power
comes great responsibility."

Social media has given
us an amazing advantage

to communicate, to share ideas, to bring
people from all around the word together;

but it has also made it easier for people
to fake their lives, fake a personality,

and for us to become more insecure.

And going back to the Instagram influencers,
it's hard sometimes to just remind ourselves

that not everyone is gonna
look like their favorite celebrity.

Jameela Jamil, an actress known
for the NBC show "The Good Place"

has now started a
campaign called "I Weigh."

The purpose of her campaign is
to call out and show celebrities

and point out to regular people

that celebrities and influencers have
amazing resources to some of the best food,

the best personal trainers, the best gyms,
and the best magazine editors in the world.

So no wonder they look better
than the average person.

Jamil has also called out celebrities who
are now using their fans' weight insecurities

to sell diet pills so everyone
can look just as good as they do.

Jamil has become the beginning
of an amazing campaign

to make us feel better
in our bodies

and NOT to compare ourselves with every
single person we see on the internet.

And sometimes, when
you're just at your worst,

it's better just to delete
the apps off your phone.

Sometimes, as I said,
when I'm feeling my worst,

I just delete the apps off my phone.

I don't delete the accounts necessarily,
but without the apps physically there,

there's nothing for me to be
just checking throughout the day.

And usually I can go
for weeks at a time

until I feel comfortable enough
that I can re-download it

and it won't affect my
mental health so much.

So I know it's hard,
but I ask all of you:

Take one day, just delete
the apps off your phone,

whatever it is (Instagram, Snapchat,
Facebook, Reddit, Tumblr, MySpace).

Whatever it is, delete it for one day,

and I promise that it'll be like a
huge weight taken off your chest.

And who knows, you may find

that you have more time
to do things you like,

like making music, dancing,
or volunteering with kids.

So if there's one message
that you take from this talk,

it's [that] I hope you know
that you are not defined

by the amount of likes and comments
on your posts on social media.

Social media is not real, and no way can
a single account on a social media website

encapsulate the entire brilliant personality
of a single human being. Thank you.

[cheers and applause]