How mindfulness meditation redefines pain, happiness and satisfaction | Dr. Kasim Al-Mashat | TEDxSFU

Kasim teaches and presents on the use of mindfulness for creating healing, transformation, and peace. He is passionate about enhancing people’s sense of joy, authenticity, and presence. Kasim also teaches and speaks about the use of laughter and laughter yoga for improving wellness.

Dr. Kasim Al-Mashat is a therapist with interest in fostering positive change in mental health both inside and outside the therapy room. He recently returned from completing a challenging six-month meditation retreat in silence, in a forest monastery in Southeast Asia.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

I'm here to speak
about the elephant in the room.

I know, but it's there for all of us,
in one form or another.

It's this dissatisfaction and unhappiness
with what we have in our lives.

Maybe if you're here or watching this,
you have all the basics covered -

food, water, safety, shelter.

But somehow, we long for something more.

As a psychologist, I've really seen
how we all want to be happy,

but keep chasing it in the future.

And I know that myself, really well,

because I had everything in life.

I had loving support, education, career,

but it wasn't enough,

and that really frustrated me.

Eventually, I discovered
the real, obvious reason.

It's really obvious.

It's our mind.

It really gets distracted
and lost in negatives,

and has a difficult time being right here

in the present moment.

What helped me see that so clearly
was mindfulness meditation.

I came across it
in the research in my field,

and started using it with clients.

And that took me on a personal journey,

which eventually led me
to this ridiculous gut feeling

of what I had to do,

which was drop everything in my life

and go to a six-month meditation retreat

in Southeast Asia, in a forest monastery,

in silence.

I tell you, it was the most difficult,
unpleasant, painful six months of my life.

(Laughter)

But it really taught me profound lessons
that have inspired me to be here today.

So I'm here to really share with you
my personal insights

and professional understanding
of mindfulness meditation

with the hope that you give it a chance,
so you can see for yourself

how it can redefine the way
we approach happiness,

satisfaction,

and reduce the suffering in our lives

from the pain that's already there.

Okay, so back to some
not-so-good news about our mind:

it has the tendency for a negativity bias,

or evolutionary psychologists
refer to it as a survival mechanism.

So, if there's a bunny in the bushes,

and there are sounds,

our mind is ready with a stress response,
for a flight-or-fight response -

I did it backwards actually -

(Laughter)

fight-or-flight response.

Even if there's just a bunny,
we're getting ready for a tiger.

And neuro-psychologists refer to that

as our brain being
like Velcro to the negatives.

(Thoop)

Latches on to negatives.

Anyone familiar with that?
Just hang on.

And being like Teflon fabric
to the positives.

(Whoosh)

Letting them all slip away.

Okay, so it's not all bad news.

With the advances in neuroscience,

mindfulness meditation has been shown
to change the structure of our brain.

And you don't have to do a six-month
retreat in a [forest monastery].

That's the good news.

Even in eight weeks
in mindfulness programs,

practicing 40-45 minutes a day,

we can improve concentration,
decision-making, compassion,

and, life satisfaction.

So, what exactly
is mindfulness meditation?

It's one form of meditation,

and basically it's training
the brain to be present.

It's based on thousands of years
of wisdom tradition in Asia.

And how we do it, one way,
is we place our attention on the belly,

to watch our breath.

But we do that in a particular way,

or as Jon Kabat-Zinn,
who brought mindfulness to medicine,

which is quite big, actually,

he defines it in four words:

we pay attention on purpose,
so with an intention.

And in the present moment,

so, right now,

and the hardest part for all of us:

non-judgmentally.

Really tough.

So, let's say this is our attention.

We place it right on the belly.

Guess what's going
to happen with our mind?

(Whoo)

We're going to get distracted.

But, without pushing against the thoughts
or hating the thoughts,

or clinging onto them, good or bad,

[we bring it] right back.

Now, you can get
a sense of that if you like now,

if you'd like to join me,

by placing your hand on the belly,

and we're just going
to observe two breaths.

Natural inhale; natural exhale.

Even slightly.

Inhale...

exhale.

Inhale...

exhale.

Okay, now, when we do that,
and some of you maybe noticed that,

there will be thoughts,

emotions,

or sensations.

But we don't get lost in them.

We bring our attention back.

And every time we do that,
guess what we're doing to our brain?

We're strengthening the muscles
in the brain, every time.

It's a gym workout for the brain.

And in the process
of doing that, patiently -

I mean it takes a lot of patience -

and compassionately,

we learn to work with our mind,

and be present with whatever is here.

We don't have to like what's here.

When I first arrived
at the forest monastery,

I asked the monk, "Is it true there
are poisonous snakes on the compound?"

He said, "Yes, yes. Deadly. Deadly."

(Laughter)

"Just stay away from them.
Walk mindfully."

Great.

(Laughter)

"Use a flashlight at night."

And I love this one too:

"Check your meditation cushion
before you sit on it."

(Laughter)

I mean... I could have died.

That was, you know, a possibility.

But the best part, he said,

"Send them love."

(Laughter)

"They were here before us."

Okay, Mr. Monk,
I wasn't ready for that yet.

(Laughter)

But I did notice, even before
going to this long retreat,

I noticed some changes in my mind
and how I reacted,

just from daily meditation.

One day I was stuck in a traffic jam,
really early in the morning, 5:40,

on my way to the gym, and unexpected.

And, instead of the usual,
"Why aren't these people moving?",

get uptight, agitated,

and the mind going into

"This is going to be a horrible day.
I'm late for stuff,"

what surprised me is what I heard,
and I thought, "Oh, interesting."

The thought? "I hope no one's hurt."

Maybe there was an accident,

or maybe it's construction
and those workers were up all night,

and I started wishing them well.

"May they be safe today."

Now, I still was late,
so that didn't change,

but I didn't spiral
into the negativity of the mind.

And it really showed me,
"Wow, it was worth working that muscle,

and the daily practice."

So, let's put together
what I shared so far,

with a little illustration.

Imagine this is pain

It could be anything.

Let's just say, stomach pain.

Signals travel to the brain.

If you magine this is our brain,
our mind, relatively calm.

We have now a signal of pain.

But it doesn't stop there.

We're not usually loving to it.

We hate it, and we get agitated,
and wish it wasn't there.

And then what we do, we let negativity

leak into the rest of our mind.

"Why me?"

"Why is this happening?"

And then?

We stir it all up with negativity.

"What kind of horrible thing this is."

We worry.

And instead of being
present with the pain?

We get taken for a ride in our mind.

I know that really well,

because I experienced that deeply
at this forest retreat.

You see, the honeymoon phase
of "Ahh, following my dream,

meditating for so long,"

(Laughter)

that ended after the first night.

(Laughter)

You know, everything
that brought me happiness,

or I thought brought me happiness,

was pulled from under my legs.

The people I love, there's no technology,

no social media,

no Internet,

just seclusion and deprivation.

And there was a wake-up call
in the morning,

3 a.m. every day.

But, it wasn't this nice chime of (Ding),

(Laughter)

"Good morning, Kasim."

No, it wasn't that, it was,
(Boom, boom, boom)

every morning -

startling -

which would begin our 13-14 hours
of daily meditation.

In the heat with the lovely insects,

scorpions, yeah, scorpions.

Actually, someone got stung by one

as they sat on their cushion
when I was there, so...

(Laughter)

And sleeping on this lovely wooden bed
with just a little bit of foam.

Daily hunger.

Because last meal of the day? Guess what?

Lunch.

And when?

10:30 in the morning.

(Laughter)

That was the reality.

So whenever my mind
got stirred up in any of that pain,

it was crushing.

I felt trapped.

I actually woke up one night
screaming from it all.

I really saw how when we begin
to fight and resist our reality,

it gets worse.

Things began to change for me when

I just started to look at pain as pain,

and saw so clearly that it was my mind
that was creating the suffering,

which is optional.

Wow.

All I have to do is just
be in this moment.

And mindfulness showed me
we can be in the eye of the storm.

Watch it all pass, moment by moment.

And there is such freedom
in trusting impermanence in that way.

And then, really holding our pain
with great compassion.

Because it's painful already.

You don't need to hate it more;
just be with it.

You know, there's
a psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl,

and he said, "Choice
is the last human freedom."

Choice.

I learned that using
mindfulness is a choice.

And even when all my freedoms
felt like they were taken away,

I experienced freedom right here.

And my biggest, biggest epiphany,

is happiness and satisfaction
is not in the distant future,

or when I go back home,

it's actually available
for all of us in every moment.

It blooms naturally
from a state of mind that's calm,

not agitated,

and peaceful.

So I want to leave you with this... -

Oh, that was me there -

(Laughter)

I want to leave you with this acronym
that captures some of my learning,

and I hope you use it when you find
yourself lost in any kind of suffering.

And it's LOST.

The first letter: L.

Just know you are lost
in suffering and thoughts.

Come back to the present moment.

O: Offer loving kindness.

You don't have to like the pain;
just hold it with compassion.

See and smile.

See pain as pain,

or, joy as joy,

without the added agitation of the mind.

And smile knowing you just did that.

And T for take a deep breath,
knowing you are not alone;

we are all dealing
with the condition of the mind.

So I invite you to join me
in taking a deep breath into the nose.

(Inhales)

And exhale.

(Exhales)

So to sum up: if we don't retrain
the brain, it can cause added pain,

and the training can begin
with mindfulness meditation.

It's not a quick fix

with magical results,

nor is it going to make us immune
to the challenges in life.

But imagine, imagine if half of us
created a daily meditation practice

to be more present in life
with the good and the bad,

offer more compassion,

and feel more moments
of satisfaction and happiness,

and let that bloom naturally
from a state of mind that's more peaceful.

That's a recipe for positive change,

and it can start with you.

Thank you.

(Applause)