Absolute Giganten (kompletter Film)

Absolute Giganten ist ein 1998 produzierter deutscher Spielfilm von Sebastian Schipper mit Antoine Monot, Jr., Frank Giering und Florian Lukas in den Hauptrollen.

Look here. Naomi.

Fucker!

You think you are a lover, a Valentino.
But the ladies think differently,

want the real thing, no light-version,
but rather a big boon!

From here to the moon!

Rico, that does not rhyme at all!

Friendships are like desires:
great, big, absolutely gigantic.

And when they get a hold of you,

they won't let you go.
Sometimes forever.

If he had a girlfriend, her name would be
Susanne! But he does... not!

I heard you don't want to
stay at the hospital?

Alright.

Good. In the execution of a sentence
against Johannes Floyd Klebeck,

Försterweg 143 in 20359 Hamburg,
currently employed as station assistant

at the district hospital Hamburg-Süd,
the district juvenile court Hamburg decides:

the convict
Johannes Floyd Klebeck

will be exempted from his punishment
from the verdict of 09/24/97 after the
expiration of his probation

of 26 months according to § 26a JGB
because of a successful probation.

At the same time the police remark
is declared eliminated.

Ok, you can go.

Just a little bit more! Yeah, cool!

Off! Off! Off!

Hey! Turn it off! Off!

Yes, Klaus...

Off!
It is off!

Say, Butty, are you about done?
I really got to get going.

I got the 2nd shift now. If I won't be there
on time, my boss is gonna force me to play sex games again.

Say, are you totally nuts?
I'm trying to talk on the phone!

I'm yelling from the top of my lungs!
In a minute Klaus is gonna get his thing...

... his, his...
Convertible?

And if not everything is spotless...
Where is that thing anyway?

Under the green covers.
Covers off, there you go.

Old rackabones, hey!

Let me see the nice piece.

What's up with the car?

Some tape still has to
come off and then...

I can't believe it.

Listen up for a second.

I said: black, yes?
Black! Black!

But it is black.
No!

No! It is... No!
Black, dopey! Black!

I meant without a bill.
[= under the table]
Black, you know?

You asked if black was possible.
Yes. Black.

Ok, now listen closely.

By Monday noon you will have
transformed this mortuary piece

of shit into a sinful dream in
anthracite-mint!

Just as we had arranged it. Alright?
Or else I am gonna rip your balls off!

Hello, yes?

Hey Walter, you dumbass, freeze!
Don't you think that you can go

and hang around with your gay friends.
There's work to be done here!

But you said when the car is ready...
I'm not gay!

I'm not interested in either of it.
You make sure this thing here will be

anthracite-mint, in fact yesterday!

Pussies, ladies, babes und sisters!
Come to me, I'll give you blisters!

I was with it today, tomorrow, yesterday!
All females cry: extra-fly!

Among the cars I am the limo.
James Brown - good god! -

calls me sex machine. Always ready!
I know the score! Am immune, liberated!

Got the copyright! On the lustiness,
delightfulness, moisture, wetness!

Twosome! Alright? That was a gewgaw.
Your lover is so soft I could puke.

Ladies, look at me!
I am like Charles Bronson!

Or mellow, uninhibited, steamless?
An endless, timeless love party?

Then the watch will melt like Salvador
Dali's! I am the maximo in gigolo!

With distinction!

So? How do you like it?

Floyd!

Super! Really good. I'd say,
that will probably have

a totally different impact on
women, but... respect!

Hey!

I am Rico! The maximo in gigolo!
With discinction! Rico!

Richard, Richard, Richard,
Richard, Richard.

Today you really made it.
Today you managed

to come in late twice in one day.

Bravo!

Fuck you!
[Asshole of the Month]

Or you do it with a Fish-Mac!

'cause you are wack!
Come and wipe away that speck!

You cannot even jerk off anyway!
Cannot sit and cannot stay!

Because you are just dumb as shit!
Don't even know my name, bro!

I'll say it to you loud and low!

7 Macs with, 9 without,
5 Maxis double without, 3 with!

Richard! Fast! Fast! Fast!
Richard! Faster!

My name's Rico! Rico!
And I am fast!

And I do stuff fast!
And this, dammit, is fast!

[Buy and Sell]

Hi, Telsa.

I dreamt that I fell off a
really high balcony.

It wasn't something like an estate balcony,
but rather like that of a mansion.

I was wearing a long black dress.
Baroque-like with a really long veil.

You know, I was rather watching more
than I was really experiencing it.

but... it had still been me though.

Do you know what I am thinking sometimes?
There should be music there always.

Whatever you are doing.
When it's really messed up,

then at least the music's still there.

And at the point when...
when it's like a perfect dream,

then the record should jump and you'd
always hear that one moment again and again.

Shit, man, I'll be ready
in a second. Come in!

Rico!

Rico, who is more dangerous?
Godzilla or Hitler?

What? Hitler!

Where is my football shirt?
Where is that shirt, dammit?

The one with the black and
white stripes!

How should I know where your stuff is?
Thanks!

You're a pain in the neck!
I'm trying to talk on the phone!

Rico!

Chantal, do you know where the black
and white shirt is, with the stars?

Mano has it.
Mano, you asshole! Take it off!

You pervert asshole! I'm on the phone!
How are you talking to each other?

My brother's on a roll right now.
Hold on.

Hey, did you two do it already?
Rad, huh? You can tell me.

Ey, if you touch my sister, I am
gonna rip your balls off! Understood?

Hey, you ass!

Not you. Yes.

Man, what does this smell like?

How do you think it smelled
before? That's Chanel.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Haha!

Yes.

So what, Butty, not dressed yet?

Hello!

Ah! Yummy!

Good evening, Mrs Piral.
That's a daring dress you're wearing.

Well, if anybody can wear it,
then you. What movie is this?

(italian) Walter, ask your friends,
if they want to eat something.

Rico, I think, you are the funniest
funster in the world.

Thanks. That's nice.

(italian) No, grandma, we gotta go.

(italian) Alright, what did he say?

(italian)
Poor Ricco heard from the doctor today

that he got an STD... really bad.

Mamma mia!

(italian) You rascal!

What did she just say?
That I'm the lady-stinger No. 1 ?

Nah. That you're gay.

What?
That's true, isn't it?

What's that? Dude, why are you
telling your grandma shit like that?

Say, how do you smell, anyway?

Many, many, many... women!

Women!

(italian)
Grandma, why don't you smell his shirt?

(italian) Yes!

Uh!

No! No!
That's from my sister!

Sistere, huh?

What's little sister in your
fucking dumb language, hey?

Froggio (eng. "faggot").

Froggio.

Froggio, huh?

"Boys from your neighborhood".

Ciao.

Let's go!

And here he is on the ball!
Someting magic is in the air!

The masses rise! Oh, friend!
Oh, fiend! The women are crying!

You cannot but love this man!
Because he loves the ball!
Because he returns the love to the ball!

Because he makes millions, billions
of soccer-fans in the whole world -
bah! the universe...

"Rico! Rico, the savior!" they shout.
Hey, what's up, you fags?

That's what you waited for!
Who against whom, hm?

I'd say, the heteros against the homos!
Great idea! So it's we against the rest!

I'm gonna have kick some in
your box again! .. In your butt!

Well, I'm playing with the gays.
Me too.

Ey, what's that shit?

You're shouting too much. I think
I like it better on this team.

Exactly! We'd rather be nice!

I'm gonna tell your dumb grandma, idiot.

Yeah? How are you gonna do that?

Hey!

Hey, pass it on!

Guys?

As of today, I'm not on
probation anymore.

I also don't have to go to
the hospital anymore.

Rad! And what's up now,
free man?

I'm gonna be gone tomorrow morning.

I'll take a freighter to Cape Town.

And from there on to Singapur and...

I probably won't come back.

You are going to leave Hamburg?

I have to go somewhere else.

I gotta go somewhere,
where I really belong.

I don't know yet where that's
gonna be, but I'll find it and...

that's where I'm going to stay.

You're gonna be gone for good
tomorrow and did not say a word.

Since I went on probation,
for 2.5 years,

I have just been waiting for this day.
When I can do anything I want.

I have to do, what I want.
And if I don't do that now...

What kind of an asshole are you?

Rico, you cannot be pissed at me
for that.

Pissed? Who is pissed?
Are you pissed?

No, I'm not pissed.
Well then. So what now?

Nothing, what should be?
Well, then everything's clear, right?

Everything's clear, right?

You are probably the biggest asshole
I've ever met!

What was I supposed to say? I've known
you since I had this apartment and the job

at the hospital and the stupid probation.
But I've been wanting to go even

before I knew you! What was I supposed
to say? Hello, it's me, Floyd!

Nice meeting you. By the way:
I gotta go in 2.5 years.

You are the best buddies I've
ever had. I had...

the greatest time in my life
with you, but...

Tomorrow morning at 10 I'll
be gone.

What are we going to do now?
What do you want to do?

Doesn't matter, something together.

What, together?

Should we go to Horst?

Dulle! Dulle! Dulle! Dulle!

Dulle! Dulle! Dulle!

Man, can you shut up for once, Dulle?
You half-able moron!

Maybe some people just want to sit
here for a while without having

to listen to your bullshit all
the time!

A little game?

By the way, you owe me a revenge.

Later I'd happily
get you once or twice.

Later won't work, by the way. Guess
who I am going to play with tonight.

With Snake. Snake and I as a team.

But we don't play for allowance,
only for large amounts!

Probably nothing for you.
A pity, really.

Then the girl residental school
went silent and had to go potty!

Snake and Dulle!

Snake. What kind of shit is that?

Have you ever played against him?
Seen him once.

What's up, men? Sad?

Can't you take a joke anymore?

Yes, Horst. We are sad!

Because we have to live in fuckin'
city like Hamburg! Everything sucks here!

Especially the people.
Hans Albers, for example...

when he had already been the big
blonde Hans, when he spent his eventide

somewhere at the Starnberg Lake
among all the rich and famous.

Incredibly miserable he sat there in
his mansion next to this bavarian puddle.

In quiet hours he listened to tapes with
sea noise and seagull cries.

He longed for Hamburg. Then he died
sick and totally isolated

in a strange land.
No, he lived there with his woman.

His partner.
She's a woman, right?

Antje was her name, Antje Burg.
She just had been gone shortly

during the war, because she was Jewish.
Hitler wanted that.

But Albers was mainly pissed at Hitler,
because he had more fans than him.

Hitler was lazy.
You can't say that. That is not true.

Oh yes, that's true. And after the war
she returned and...

Hitler was a totally lazy pig!
Hitler was a vegetarian!

Slept in all the time.
Non-smoker! Never ate raw meat.

And the whole thing, that wasn't Hitler.
That was the whole German people itself, yes!

Yes, Dieter, it's ok now...
Nothing is ok! Nobody here knows anything!

But, Dieter!
It's ok, we heard it!

Horst, could you please tell your
drunk dimwit customers

to calm down?

Nobody forces you to stay,
my friend!

Nobody! And if I
may remind you:

You started this talk here!
I didn't start anything!

You asked: Hello, men, how are you?
And I said: Shitty! Because there are
nothing but idiots here!

And then everybody starts talking
shit that nobody wants to listen to!
I said it sucks here.

Listen up, buddy, ok? I didn't say
Men, how are you? I said: Men, what's up?

Sooner or later they'll all end up here.
And those who think they are special,

or are able to do something really big,
those will be the worst eventually.

Sooner or later they'll all stand
at the counter! All of them!

Can't you suckers keep your trap shut?
Nobody is interested in your loser-shit!
Nobody!

And that your lives are nothing but a pile
of shit has nothing to do with us!

Nothing! Damn shit!

I think I'm gonna go home and go to bed.

Ok.

Walter?

Are you gonna do me one more favor?

(unintelligible)

Turn right! Right! Right!

Yes!

Cool.

A stuntshow!

Maybe they can do with a couple tough
helldriver-guys.

Dude, Rico!
What do you want from them?

Wow! A two-wheel-ramp!

Good evening, guys!

Elvis Presley?

Respect!

Well, really, your style really has...

Well, I gotta say:
Looks great!

Well, I wanted to ask about the...
about the ramp over there?

Well, if we could...
go up there real quick?

Say, were you sad when Elvis died?

Weren't we all?

Well, me for sure?
That was really a bad loss.

Well, Elvis Presley
could really sing well.

What do you want?

We are Elvis Presley fans!

When did the King die?

16th of August 1977

at the age of 42 from heart failure

in Graceland,
his mansion in Memphis, Tennessee.

Hey, Rico! Hey, come here!

Hey, would you please
get out of the car? Hey!

Could you please turn off the engine?
Rico! Hey! Hello!

Hey, Man! Man!

Yes, this baby has quite some power!

Yes!

Crap!

Respect!

[Elbe Tunnel - Tollway]

Hey, stop! Open up! Hey!

Did you see that, huh? I said,
did you see that, yes?

She is really addicted to me!
Totally addicted to my body!

I'm also addicted to your body.
Thanks.

Hey, guys?
Interested in a couple videos?

Hey. What's that?

Erotic stuff and history.

How much is that supposed to be?
Depends. Erotic stuff is 3 for 20.

and I'll give you "Hitler Private, the
Wolfsschanze - How the Führer really lived".

So, 3 erotic, 1 Hitler,
together: 20 marks.

This one is really cool!
For this one I gotta take 15.

Is that erotic?
Nah, history.

A bottle of Vodka, please.

70.

80.

Such a thing, yeah?

And he slides this needle in
really slowly

and it doesn't hurt just after a
couple moments, which is what

one would expect, but: No!
It hurts so bad from the start,

like nothing ever hurt in my
whole entire life!

And I got this probe in my
dick and I notice

how he slides it in deeper and
deeper and I cry like mad

and suddenly I notice,
that it gets to a point,

where it hurts infinitively
worse than everything

that had ever been before together!
And the doc tells me someting about:

That the needle is now at a
point,

where it has to slide into the
right channel. And that hurt so bad!

And I scream!

The nurse stares at me panically,
while I am screaming like mad...

and the doc sweats and pushes,,,

and suddenly I was in someting
like a giant container,

with slick walls and I tried
to get out...

and I slipped and slipped.

When I opened my eyes again,

the doc was drumming on my chest
with two fists like a madman.

I had a syringe in my arm with...

adrenaline or something.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Fuck!

Hey!

Dude, what is this shit?
Come out of there!

Dude, what's up with you?

What's up with him, dude?
Stay out! What the fuck is going on?

Pisser!
Careful! Watch your friend.

Piss off, you asshole!
Don't touch my woman!

It's ok! Hey, it's ok!

Hey, there!

Yes.

You know, Rico: If you want
to fuck, you gotta be nice.

What, nice?

Could you please help me across
the road?
You really like grandmas, huh?

But only his own. Say...

Floyd, what would you do?

What would you do or say
or do...

to get together with a woman?
I don't know.

Come on, Floyd!

I really don't know. Well, what
I did once at a date...

I just listened. Yeah.
And then we were

close to a staircase and
I just hurled myself down.

Yeah, sure!
Yeah. Then she got worried
and came after me.

And then she bent over me and
I just kissed her.

And that worked?
Yeah. The crucial element is the look!

Say, excuse me...

You are standing here all alone...
I am just asking, supposedly...

In case you would like a drink...

but I mean, since you're
thinking that anyway, right?

May I get you something to drink...
Do you want to?

I'm getting the feeling,
you are talking a little bit too much.

Well, I once saw a movie with
Robert Redford. He just leaned

on a door said to this woman:

"I am so lonely in this
big city."

I am in the city.
Yeah. Exactly like that!

Good morning.
Morning.

Three times everything.

Hey!

Hey Rico. Fries are like women.

Sometimes hot,

sometimes greasy,

sometimes cold, sometimes
rubbery,

crunchy. Doesn't matter!

Somehow always rad.
I think, everybody likes fries.

Everybody!

I once heard that Elvis,

the King,

croaked with a cheeseburger in his
hand on the toilet.

Well.

Maybe it was just one
cheeseburger too much.

Why does the last night have to
be the shittiest of all?

For heaven's sake!
What happened to the car?

Hey, Telsa!
Where are you coming from?

Hey, Floyd,
what's with your eye?

What's with the hat?

It's a full moon -
of course I'm wearing a hat!

Of course, Telsa.
What's up with you?

Nothin'.

Nothin' really. Nothin' at all.

Well, doesn't matter anyway.
You wanna go dance?

Hey!

Hey, Rico! Time for a revenge!

Snake's down in the basement!
How about it?

Fuck.

Fuck.

Do you have any dough at all?
Monetas.

Fuck. That's good.

The game has 11 balls.
If someone leads with 6 goals

the game is automatically over.
If we score a goal,

you get the ball.
So that you get it at least once!

By the way, Snake always plays red!

Hey, Snake!

Here are some more.
Wanna play against you badly.

What kinda shake is this?
Chocolate was out, I'm afraid.

Your name is Shake?

His name is Snake!

Ah. But he drinks shake?

What do you three idiots want?

Ok! let's go, girls!

Hey, give the money back, fucker!

420.

Ready, girls?

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah!

Hold on.

This is the key to a '74
Granada GLX Coupe by Ford.

The car has been equipped by me
with an australian V8-5-1 engine.

Therefore it is the fastest
accelerating machine that is

around Hamburg in a car.
It has a vinyl roof.

You bet the 840, be bet the car.
"We" means: we three play together.

And this time according to our rules.
By this I mean:

Possible player changes during the
whole game and keeper-goals count double.

Keeper-goals count double!

Dude, Rico! Let's get going!
We gotta get out of here!

Where is Telsa, anyway?

What?
Telsa!

Why did you drive off anyway?
We should have played again!

We would have defeated 'em again!
And again! And again!

Did you see them, huh?
Did you see my trick?

Snake? And Dulle?

Should we go back? Babies?
Should we go back?

Walter?
Would you let me drive the Granada?

That was big!

That was totally big!

Say, Butty, where from did you
know all that stuff about Elvis?

Common knowledge.

Excuse me.

The girl had life threatening alcohol
levels and was due to vomit in the lungs

up to 2 minutes without any
oxygen.

I don't know if you know what
that could have meant.

Go home and come back tomorrow.

Let lost.

What do you want?

What do you want from me, asshole!
What do you want?

Fuck!

I want some ice-cream.

The first thing that I can
remember is...

...when I got a sparkler from
my mother on New Year's Eve.

The sky was full of
rockets and fireworks

that exploded and sparked.
That was loud.

But I wasn't afraid.
I just held my sparkler up
to the dark sky...

... and shook it like crazy.
I shook it so hard,

so incredibly hard, as hard as I
could. And even harder.

Until I couldn't any more and on and
on. Senseless and harder and harder.

And I was small.
And so was the sparkler.

But I was part of the biggest
and most incredible thing...

I've ever seen.
The greatest and biggest ever,

and I was there. Without me knowing
it, without me knowing anything.

I think, I've never done anything
like that in my life again.

So hard and uncompromisingly
and totally.

I think, I never experienced
anything in my life again,

that was so big and so gigantic.

What time is it, by the way?

[translated by hymie]