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Coffeezilla,
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you have previously only made
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exceptional and
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well-researched videos,
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but now that you did one about me,
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that track record means nothing.
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Coffee, you are incredibly talented
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and remarkably handsome,
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but you're basically a cop.
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But, as opposed to telling you,
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I am going to show you
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the discrepancies I caught in your video
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about my scam.
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One: you did not disclose
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that I hired a bunch of criminals
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for this project.
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Are you trying to protect them?
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Or are you trying to protect me
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from something that arguably
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makes me look worse?
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Do you like me, is that why?
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Do you have a tiny little crush on me?
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'Cause if-- if you did,
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that wouldn't even be
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that big of a problem,
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I'd actually be kinda
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happy about tha--
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Two: you contacted my manager
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instead of me
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directly for comment.
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Do you think he's gonna
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get that message through to me?
(SCOFFS)
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That's not his job.
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I mean, unless it is.
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In which case...
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well, I don't really
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know what he does.
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Then, when you did
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get through to me,
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it was on Christmas Eve.
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Do you want to ruin
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this little guy's Christmas?
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I was drinkin' eggnog with the homies,
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roasting chestnuts by the fire.
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What is wrong with you?
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Now, let me reiterate:
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I did hire a bunch of criminals
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who scammed people.
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But the real victim of all of this...
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is my reputation,
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which I have spent so much time and money
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trying to rehabilitate
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ever since that incident,
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the thing-- w-we don't talk--
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we don't have to... we--
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we don't have to talk--
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Coffeezilla, look.
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You're a cutie,
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you're a little cutie pie,
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I'm not gonna deny that,
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and I love you like a dear friend.
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But you are a fraud,
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and I hate you,
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and I will see you in court.