Coffeezilla,
you have previously only made
exceptional and
well-researched videos,
but now that you did one about me,
that track record means nothing.
Coffee, you are incredibly talented
and remarkably handsome,
but you're basically a cop.
But, as opposed to telling you,
I am going to show you
the discrepancies I caught in your video
about my scam.
One: you did not disclose
that I hired a bunch of criminals
for this project.
Are you trying to protect them?
Or are you trying to protect me
from something that arguably
makes me look worse?
Do you like me, is that why?
Do you have a tiny little crush on me?
'Cause if-- if you did,
that wouldn't even be
that big of a problem,
I'd actually be kinda
happy about tha--
Two: you contacted my manager
instead of me
directly for comment.
Do you think he's gonna
get that message through to me? (SCOFFS)
That's not his job.
I mean, unless it is.
In which case...
well, I don't really
know what he does.
Then, when you did
get through to me,
it was on Christmas Eve.
Do you want to ruin
this little guy's Christmas?
I was drinkin' eggnog with the homies,
roasting chestnuts by the fire.
What is wrong with you?
Now, let me reiterate:
I did hire a bunch of criminals
who scammed people.
But the real victim of all of this...
is my reputation,
which I have spent so much time and money
trying to rehabilitate
ever since that incident,
the thing-- w-we don't talk--
we don't have to... we--
we don't have to talk--
Coffeezilla, look.
You're a cutie,
you're a little cutie pie,
I'm not gonna deny that,
and I love you like a dear friend.
But you are a fraud,
and I hate you,
and I will see you in court.