Everybody includes you | Starr Lake | TEDxWashingtonCorrectionsCenterforWomen

Starr identifies giving as a way to touch a life and lend a hand, no matter where you are in the world. Just imagine!

Starr is actively working toward her associate degree through the Freedom Education Project Puget Sound. She works in the Braille Program and is involved in many other activities. To Starr, life is about living the best life you can and being the best you can possibly be regardless of where you are and what the circumstances. Life is not just about you, but about the connections you make with others.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

When I was about 5 years old,

I had a life-changing conversation.

Now I should probably tell you that my

nickname when I was a kid was chatterbox

and if you ask my friends today,

they'll probably tell you

that not too much has changed.

So as you can imagine,

I had lots of conversations.

But this one conversation I had

forever changed my life.

My family was walking though Balboa Park

in San Diego, California,

and I saw a man sleeping on a bench.

His clothes were dirty and tattered,

and even though it was warm,

he was wearing many layers of clothing.

Against a backdrop of tourists, wearing

brightly colored clothes and flipflops,

the sleeping man didn't make sense to me.

So I turned and asked,

"Papa, why doesn't that man

go home and go to sleep?"

He told me that the man was sleeping there

because he was homeless.

Now, homeless didn't quite compute to me.

Sure, I'd heard things about "the homeless."

Things I picked up

from adult conversations,

the way that kids do.

Things like they were lazy,

they're drunks,

why don't they just get a job?

But I didn't really have a grasp

on the concept of homelessness.

Seeing the puzzled look on my face,

my papa went on to explain.

He told me that not everyone had a home

or a bed to sleep in.

And even though we had a house

and we never had to worry

about food or clothes,

he wanted me to understand that

everyone was one step away

from being where that man was

whether it was a lost job,

a bad investment, or even medical bills.

Everyone was one step away

from being in that man's shoes.

That's why it was important to help others

and I grew up understanding that

helping other people was what you did.

Sometimes, circumstances

can lead us to believe

that we have nothing left to give.

In 1998, when I was 16 years old,

I came to the Washington Corrections

Center for Women.

I didn't come on a tour

with my senior class

that I had so proudly started school with

just 8 months before.

I came as an inmate

beginning a 40-year prison sentence.

I had been cast off from society.

All but one or two of my family members

had completely disowned me,

and I knew that I had nothing left

to contribute to the world,

and I never would again.

The first 2 years I was here, I acted out.

Got in trouble. Just didn't really care.

But eventually I got tired of that, and

I stayed out of trouble long enough

to be assigned a job as a teacher's aid

for a GED class.

I should tell you, GED classes in prison

are like schools pretty much everywhere.

Some people are there

because they want to learn, and

some people are there

because they have to be.

But over time, I realized that

helping someone get to that "aha" moment,

for them to realize that they can add,

subtract, multiply, and divide fractions,

it made me think that maybe, just maybe,

I did have something left to give.

After being a teacher's aid

for a couple of years,

someone asked me if I'd ever thought about

working in the Braille program here.

I didn't even know it existed,

much less what it was,

but she told me they were hiring.

So I put in an application.

I had an interview, and I got the job.

Why not?

And for a while I went to work every day

and I did my job and I left

and that was it.

And then it clicked.

Every day that I went to work,

I was helping someone have

access to materials that they might not

have otherwise had access to.

I understand that I'm fortunate

to have a job where everyday

I can feel like I'm giving back.

And not every job is like that.

But I'm also involved in other things

outside of my job.

One of those things is I'm a member

of the Sisters of Charity program

here at WCCW.

And I spend my Sunday afternoons

making charity quilts

even when the Seahawks' games are on.

And I spend my Monday evenings

machine knitting hats

that go to the local homeless,

local women and children's shelters,

and have even gone to Thailand and

remote mountain villages in Myanmar.

I'm not going to lie and say

that I'm always excited to go spend

my Monday evening in the craft room

after I've already had a long day

of school and work.

But I know that if I do go

and I can make 5 hats

then if I don't go

that means there are 5 cold heads

out there somewhere, right?

Most holidays you can find a group of us

in the craft room, facilitating and

participating in charity workshops,

making use of our extra days off of work.

Please keep in mind

I'm only 1 of many participants

in the Sisters of Charity program,

but last year alone,

we collectively donated

over 2,700 various items

such as quilts, hats, and scarves

to various organizations.

(applause)

I can't even begin to tell you

the impact that giving has had on my life

while I've been in prison.

Not only has giving helped me regain

and stay connected to my sense of self,

but giving has also helped me

stay connected to the community

outside of prison.

Giving has helped me hold on to

the good parts of who I was

while I was transforming the parts of me

that needed work.

So think about this.

If I'm in prison

and I can touch a life

and lend a hand

to someone who might be

half way around the world.

Just imagine what you can do.

What I want you to take away with you

today is this:

Everyone -- and I mean everyone --

has a unique set of

talents, traits, and experiences.

And everyone has something to give.

That everyone includes you.

Thank you.

(applause)